I'll only tell three pots:

1. The most deadly joke in history

One morning, I felt particularly sad and miserable, so I told a joke to my classmates.

Unexpectedly, he laughed and rolled on the ground for 18 times in a row, so we had to take him to the hospital.

When the doctor asked what happened, I gave him the joke. I ended up dead.

The hospital sued me for murder. In court, the judge said to me seriously, you must tell us honestly and seriously how all this happened.

Why did you murder that doctor? Do you know each other?

I said I didn't know him. I just told him a joke. The judge said sternly that this is a court. Don't joke! I was joking when I said I didn't

. The judge said I didn't believe you. Please tell us this joke. I said no, unless everyone present signed a life and death certificate with me,

it's not my fault for laughing to death. The judge said angrily, don't be ridiculous. Are we children? ? I said that I can't talk about it. The judge said that's fine. If we died of laughter, it's absolutely none of your business. Can we still acquit you? I said, then you should write down everything just now. The judge said, okay, okay, damn it!

So I had to tell the joke again.

As a result, five people were killed and more than 2 people were injured on the spot.

The court acquitted me, but the family of the deceased refused to stop, and often found someone to assassinate me, leaving me nowhere to hide, and even

I had to be especially careful when surfing the Internet. Finally, I went to the beach alone to live in seclusion, except sometimes surfing the Internet. Just lying on the rocks by the sea to rest.

Actually, there is only one sentence in this joke:

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I believe in love

2. It was a long time ago, that is, a long time ago. 3. Don't put a light bulb in your mouth

In Britain.

who would import this thing? English people are some fools ...

I tell you, nothing is absolute!

I was watching TV with an Indian friend at home one day, and I talked to him about it. He told me that their primary school textbook also said that the light bulb would get stuck after being imported, and it could not be taken out anyway. He was quite sure that the book said that ...

But I doubt it very much. I think the surface of the light bulb is very slippery. If it can be imported, it proves that the mouth is big enough for it to enter and exit, and it can be taken out in theory. But this Indian idiot only said that the book said that ... it must be correct ...

I was angered by his attitude of not asking for much understanding. I said that he was stupid, and he said that I didn't speak English and didn't read books ... so we quarreled ...

I went home in a rage, picked up an ordinary light bulb and thought about it in bed, always thinking that I was not wrong, thinking of the ignorance of this Indian friend. I decided to prove it. Look. Of course, I also took safety measures ... and bought a vegetable oil to go home. If the card is stuck and released, I don't believe it can't slide out!

Everything is ready. You can put the light bulb in your mouth without saying anything ... It's easy to slide it into your mouth in less than a second ... It's no problem to take it out in this way.

I wish this Indian idiot, look at the wisdom and courage of my China people! Unlike you, a bookworm, I thought China would beat India ... and laughed from my heart ... haha!

So I easily pulled the light bulb to ......................

OK! I'll work harder. .....................

OK. I'll open my mouth wider. .........................

I'm not afraid. I'll open my mouth widest. Try harder (be careful to break the lamp). ........................

is really stuck in .........................

Fortunately, there is a vegetable oil, .........................

(3 minutes later). I poured 3/4 sticks of oil, half of which was poured into my stomach. The light bulb still wouldn't move, ........................

At this moment, I had to call for help, ......................

Just when I pressed it halfway, I remembered that I had a light bulb in my mouth. How did ................... speak?

Now I have to ask my neighbor for help. After I wrote a note, I went to the old woman next door. As soon as she saw me, she called for .....................

I immediately showed her my note: Please call me a taxi and tell the driver to take me to the hospital. )

After watching it for about 1.75 minutes, she laughed loudly at ...........................

Fifteen minutes later, a taxi came. The driver smiled once when he saw me (in fact, he never stopped).

He kept asking me why I did this in the taxi ... (... how can I answer him? ) I keep saying that my mouth is too small. If it's his mouth, there will be no problem ...

I see that his mouth is really big ... but I really want to tell him not to try anyway ... Unfortunately, I can't open my mouth!

I look at his rearview mirror. I seem to have a goldfish in my mouth ...

In the hospital, I was scolded by the nurses for more than ten minutes, saying that I wasted their time. I was asked to queue up in a long queue ... I stayed in the crowd for 2.5 hours ... 2.5 hours ... < P > Those who were in great pain seemed to have no pain when they saw me ... Everyone secretly laughed ... < P > I felt that I still had some function ... < P > The doctor put cotton on both sides of my mouth, then broke the light bulbs ... and took them out one by one ...

when I left the hospital, I was thinking that there must be no such an idiot creature as me on this earth.

when I opened the door and left, a man came in front of me. It was the taxi driver just now.

...........................

...........................

He has a light bulb in his mouth.

★ On a hot summer day, two bananas are walking ...

One is walking in front and the other is walking behind ...

Walking ...

The banana in front said, "It's so hot ~", so she took off her clothes ...

Is it cold or not? Hahahaha, I think it's the most interesting ~ ~ A bag was full, so the boss had to get it.

When he came back, he found that the whole plane was vomiting. The boss asked the reason, and the second said, "I saw that < P > this bag was full, so I had to drink half a bag, and they all vomited."

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Begging

On this day, the hotel owner was patrolling the lobby. A beggar came forward and said, "can the boss give me a toothpick?" "

the boss gave him one and sent it away. After a while, another beggar came, also asking for a toothpick. The boss thought,

Why does this beggar want toothpicks instead of rice now? I also gave him one to send away, not too old, and another beggar came.

The boss said to him, "Are you here for a toothpick, too? The beggar said, "Someone threw up, but I was late. < P > The first two beggars have eaten everything they can, and now there is only soup left. Can you give me a straw?

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Fanwei

Some people like the dish "Spicy vermicelli pot" very much. Once, he went to a restaurant and ordered this

dish again. But the waiter told him that the dish had been sold out. "Is it really sold out?" He

asked in disappointment. "Sir, really sold out. You see, the last one was sold to the gentleman at that table. " The waiter replied to

. The man followed the waiter's instructions and saw a very decent gentleman sitting next to him. The gentleman's meal

has almost been eaten, but the "spicy vermicelli pot" is still full. The man thought that

a gentleman wasted delicious food, so he went to the gentleman, pointed to the "spicy vermicelli pot" and asked politely, "Sir, do you want more?" The gentleman shook his head gracefully. So the man immediately sat down, picked up a spoon and wolfed it down.

The wind swept away, and after a while, he swallowed half of it. Suddenly, he found a very small mouse lying at the bottom of the casserole, but its fur was full. With a fit of nausea, the man threw up all the fans he had eaten and returned them to the casserole. When he was having a stomachache there, the gentleman looked at him sympathetically and said,

"It's disgusting, isn't it? Just now, I was just like this ... "

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Chocolate

A man went to visit his grandmother with a friend.

When he was talking to his grandmother, his friends began to eat the peanuts

put on the coffee table and ate them all.

When they left, his friend said to his grandmother:

"Thank you for the peanuts"

Grandma responded: "Oh! Hmm! Alas!

since I lost all my teeth, I can only suck the chocolate out of them. Old, cough. . . .

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Drink phlegm

The eldest brother and the second son went to the theater to see the play, and they saw an argument about the plot development in the middle, and made a bet on it.

The boss pointed to a row of spittoons in front and said, "The loser needs a sip of what's there."

Unfortunately, Boss lost, so Boss frowned and took a sip.

They went on to bet on the following plot. This time, the second one lost.

Only the second child picked up a spittoon and gulped for fifteen gulps.

The boss was shocked and admired, and said to the second child, "You are amazing, you can drink fifteen swigs in a row!"

the second child shook his head. "It's not that I want to drink. The sputum in that spittoon is too thick. I really can't stop biting!"

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I am principled.

In the cold winter, two beggars wandered in the street.

"I'm so hungry, I feel I can eat a cow now!" " Beggar A said.

"Me, too. I'm starving. If the pole in front of us can eat, I can definitely eat it from the root to the top." Beggar B is not to be outdone.

They passed by a pub. I don't know who drank too much in the pub. Maybe the wind cooled his stomach and left a vomit in front of the pub. Two beggars were staring blankly at the vomit.

"To be honest, I really want to eat this vomit." Beggar A just said.

"I'm hungry, too, but it's someone else's vomit. It's disgusting." Beggar B is a little embarrassed.

"I don't care, will you eat?" , beggar a asked.

"It's disgusting. If you don't eat, you have to be a beggar!" Beggar B righteously.

"I can eat alone? ！” After that, Beggar A leaned over and began to eat vomit.

After a while, Beggar A finished eating, and they walked on.

Maybe it's winter. The vomit was so cold that Beggar A's stomach seemed a little too much to eat, but he still resisted, but it was vomit after all. Beggar A couldn't help feeling a little sick when he thought of it. Beggar B, on the other hand, is even more hungry and a little regretful.

After a while, Beggar A couldn't help it. "Wow ... Wow ..." Beggar A vomited, too.

At this time, Beggar B quickly leaned down and began to eat Beggar A's vomit.

"hey, hey, aren't you disgusting? Why do you also eat vomit? " Beggar A asked incredulously.

"Idiot, I have principles. I only eat hot food. Besides, isn't this stall more than the one just now?"

Beggar B said without looking up.

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oatmeal

When my brother got up in the morning, he saw a bottle with "oatmeal" on the table and ate it for breakfast. There are my saved feet ...

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You are lucky.

I suddenly felt a stomachache when I went shopping once, so I walked into the 199 restaurant on the corner and had a full hot pot restaurant. However, I found that there was a toilet door labeled "Failure to be repaired, please don't use it". I really couldn't help it. I don't care about it. Anyway, there was no one around. I took off my pants and squatted down to the toilet. It was thunderous ... It was so cool! !

After that, I went downstairs and found that there was no one. Oddly, it was just dinner time, and the downstairs was full of guests. Why did people go to the building all at once? Even the waiters and receptionists disappeared ...

So I approached the bar and asked, "Is anyone there?" Why is there no one?

At this moment, I saw a male waiter coming out from under the bar,

and said, "Fuck! ..... You weren't there when shit fell from the ceiling and hit the electric fan just now?

You are lucky ...

There is a trap crossing the horse.