It is not difficult to let go of a person's obsession, just take three steps:

Know why, return to your original heart and welcome the future.

You know why?

The first step to let go of your obsession is to know why you can't let go of him.

1.？ So strong.

The so-called competitive spirit is:

The more unkind, the more depressed, the more appetite, the more fascinated, the more I want to hit him.

2.？ Sunk cost.

Because in this relationship, I paid a lot of sunk costs such as the emotional value of youth money, and then compared with the indifference of the other party, I think the other party can't live up to me.

However, this often leads to the more you lose, the more unwilling you are, the more you continue to pay, and finally you lose everything.

3.？ Subjective will.

I don't understand, everyone is an independent individual, trying to control others' thoughts and ideas with their own subjective will, and wanting others to direct and act according to their own scripts.

4.？ Revenge psychology.

Many people are still pestering others, in fact, they are not in love, but out of revenge: even if they hurt each other, they should stay with him, and pestering can't make him start a new relationship.

Or when he was unlucky, he left with a smile and took it by surprise.

5.？ Dependence psychology.

Most people who are obsessed with someone and feel that they can't live without him are because they are not perfect and feel that they have something they lack, or money, honor, or emotional value. So as soon as this person left, he felt that he couldn't live any longer and it was difficult to stand on his feet.

In fact, most obsessions are not love, but a kind of blindness caused by unwillingness. It is unfortunate to be trapped in this self-woven delusion network all your life, so you will turn a blind eye to everything you have lost and lose the opportunity to learn from this relationship.

Return to the original heart

Understand the above, let go of your obsession, and the second step is to return to your true heart.

How?

1.？ Understand that everything outside is lent to you by fate to cultivate yourself.

When people are on earth, they are alone, enjoying themselves and having no generation.

In addition to themselves, parents, lovers, children, beautiful people, the height of temples and the distance between rivers and lakes, they will retreat and seek change.

Then why do you want to meet someone with him?

Because fate wants you to cultivate yourself through this relationship, examine yourself, recognize your own shortcomings, and finally discover yourself more deeply, express yourself, respect yourself and love yourself.

When you finish these courses and become self-satisfied, you will finally be enlightened:

"What fate owes you will be repaid to you with better people and things, because your destiny is to go to a better place and meet better people. Before that, you need to go through all kinds of begging without leaving, and strengthen your emotions in exchange for the card that soared to a higher level. "

2.？ Let the obsession be put on hold temporarily, not deliberately erased, not deliberately explored.

Inner peace, chaos is unknown. If a son wants to avoid it, he must promote it.

Many things, the more you want to get to the bottom of it or get rid of it, the more you get rid of it, the more confused you are, and it's easy to stick to it all your life, and it's hard to jump out. In the end, it's inevitable to stand still and start circling.

So learn to let go of your obsession.

Just like when you travel, there are scenery, tourists and delicious food outside, even if the environment is noisy, you can enjoy yourself.

Obsession is like a foreign object, it doesn't stop you from giving you a hand.

You have to accept imperfection and the existence of obsession, and you will be fearless if you don't pursue perfection in everything.

If the obsession is still there, let it exist.

But at the same time, you don't watch it, go on. In the future, when you go far and meet better people and things, you will let go and understand that your past obsession is because you are blind and can't penetrate the prison you built, so your obsession will be broken.

Don't punish yourself for other people's mistakes.

According to the conservation of energy, people who have hurt you will definitely be punished, either soon or in the distant future, but the protagonist who should be punished should not be you.

If you have been stubborn, you have been paying attention to it and hope it will get retribution. This mentality can easily ruin yourself and consume your energy and years.

Actually, everyone is an independent individual.

So, what effect does his mistake have on you?

Don't punish yourself with other people's mistakes. What you have to do is to return to your original heart and focus on yourself.

Everything is idealized, so you should look at yourself from the audience's point of view.

All kinds of desires in the world exist because of their false obsession.

Even if a moment comes now, the future will be a lost moment.

And the moments of joy and sadness they feel are just the images and States of things reflected in their own hearts.

Just like a movie mapped on the curtain, the plot is bitter and the plot is happy.

With the ups and downs of the plot, the film ended, whether it was laughter or full house, and finally it was silent, but it was an illusion.

Therefore, we should learn to look at this obsession from the perspective of the audience. Jump out of yourself, the bystander is clear, and will not be influenced by other people's every move.

Because it's not "the real you" at all, just a player.

I understand that she was forced to stay, and he is not her anymore.

You love him before, and he loves you before.

What do you mean?

He will change, you will change, and everyone's demand for nature will change with the change of time and space.

Forcibly pestering again is tantamount to seeking what you can't get from someone who is no longer suitable.

In the end, he can't give it to you or take it.

People are on earth, this is the fate of going and gathering.

All efforts to win people's hearts and leave behind the past are just fighting in a network of delusions made up by ourselves, hoping that people and things that emerge instantly will last forever.

The only constant in the world is always changing.

Welcome the future

The third step is to let go of your obsession, welcome the future, and learn to give freedom to yourself and others.

How?

1、 ? Learn great love and find a breakthrough in energy.

The energy of love is always renewable.

If you don't cling to a little love, you must have great love to release energy.

Dig well and see if you have anything that can benefit others, whether it is words, experiences or wealth, and then share, pay and spread energy.

As Pu Xian said in "Wish", "You should be a good doctor to treat all kinds of diseases. Point out the right path for those who have lost their way. In the dark, for the light. Poverty is hidden. "

When your energy reaches a positive cycle, you will look at your feelings with a broader mind and look at the person you can't give up, instead of clinging to small feelings and small love.

People who benefit others will always benefit from it If you love the world, the world will love you.

According to the conservation of energy, with the passage of time, your gains are enormous.

2. Put your body and mind in an unshakable light.

Such as philosophy, positive faith, home, art, and other solid systems.

In this way, you will have a spiritual pillar in your heart and a bright place in your life. You firmly understand where you should go, you are experiencing these hardships, and what is the significance of experiencing these hardships, so as not to collapse and fall into the trough.

On the other hand, if you put your mind and body on an unpredictable thing, such as love, material, mountains and rivers, you will put yourself in the fear of insecurity and collapse at any time.

When a person wants something, waits for something and relies on something, he will suffer with the disappearance of confusion and anxiety.

3. Improve yourself and don't blindly ask others to make up for your own shortcomings.

Why can't you leave a person?

It is because he has what he needs, or money status, or emotional value, so when he leaves, he will be panicked and unable to stand on his own feet.

I think I'm sad and unforgettable, but it's not love. I just want to seek what I lack from others.

Therefore, it is extremely dangerous to build a sense of security on others, even if this person is your closest relative. What if you leave and die?

So what do you do?

Before you love someone, you must realize yourself, find your own goals, complete your mission, and make achievements in your own field, so that you can love others freely and have nothing else to ask for.

On the other hand, if a person tries his best to love his lover, the other person will know and feel uncomfortable being manipulated, so others will run away.

4. Simplify the complexity and sort out the external burdens and burdens.

No desire is just.

Many times, people will blindly pursue what they can't get, but because they have too many useless desires, which may stem from the lack of love experience in childhood.

So I will like to pursue people who can't get it, and I like to buy things beyond my ability.

But in fact, these are not what you really need, and your heart is lacking. Even if you are sitting on a hero, you will not be satisfied.

Therefore, you need to learn to simplify the complex, so that you can clearly understand what you really need.

For example:

( 1) ? Treasure the people and things you have now.

What you complain and regret now may be the lucky situation that others can't climb up day and night.

People are blessed if they can live a lifetime, be healthy, be free from diseases and disasters, be reincarnated in a peaceful world, and have the opportunity to meet the vast world. This is the power behind them.

We should be grateful and contented.

(2) ? Say goodbye to the old and welcome the new, and clean up the old things in time.

If people cling to the people and things in the past and refuse to let go, then the accumulated negative energy is like a mountain, and they can't travel lightly.

How?

Clean up clothes, shoes and articles that have not been moved for several years in time;

Clean up things that remind you of sad memories in time;

Throw away the bottles and cans of skin care products that have been put away for a long time, and they will not be used again;

Delete expired files and unused software from your computer;

Friends who are no longer in the same direction should contact less (such as seniors).

Everything in the world has its own energy field. What kind of energy field will be formed by long-term contact? Let go of the past and naturally meet new energy and new fate.

5. Accept yourself, learn to encourage yourself, and welcome the arrival of new energy and new personnel.

A person who does not appreciate himself cannot win the love of others.

So you should make sure that you are excellent and loved, and encourage yourself more, thus enhancing your self-confidence.

What can be done?

( 1) ? I am convinced that I am loved and the darling of fate.

The misfortune now is actually to exercise your mood, but God has other plans. God has put you through many hardships to improve your wisdom and inspire your greatest potential.

(2) list your own advantages, be narcissistic, or tell yourself in the mirror that you are the best.

(3) No one is perfect, accept your own shortcomings and dark side.

If you accept yourself, others will certainly accept you. If you pretend to be yourself, you will only attract false and unreal relationships.

When you reach absolute self-confidence and self-consistency, you have the confidence to meet new people and new things.

When you find that the future can be expected, you will easily let go of your past delusions and persistence.

Finally, the choice for adults is to have no regrets. Only without regrets can we move forward smoothly. Only if you dare to move forward will there be more energy to support you and use for you.

Sincerely bless you, everything in the world of mortals can be put down except beauty.

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Your praise is my motivation to continue to generate electricity for love ~