May my story flow slowly, and I hope your loneliness will end one day. #Howtolookatdinkergroup# Pay attention to the glimmer and see all the aspects of life

If the relationship between the two of us is good and we can grow old together, we will be lucky, and there is no need to expect children. If we unfortunately break up halfway, why should we bring our adult failures to our children? So we're getting married, but not having kids, and never planning to have kids! ——Declaration from a "DINK"

A food blogger I follow went out to set up a stall. This main job is a photographer, a side job is a gourmet, a handicraft enthusiast, a sports and fitness expert, As a plant lover, he often shares his life on his social platform. He lives in a villa, drives an RV, and takes his adopted stray dogs on trips. His life is full and beautiful, and he is enviable.

She set up a stall not because she was short of money, but because the food she made was so delicious and she wanted to share it and gain recognition from more people. Looking at the life of her and her husband, there is always a sense of slow time with quiet time, and behind this, she has another identity, that is, a "DINK".

Some people will say: If you are already a DINK, of course you are rich! Indeed, today we will discuss what "DINK" is.

What is "DINK"?

The meaning of "DINK" was searched on Baidu, and the explanation came out as follows: DINK refers to those who have the ability to have children but choose not to have children. In addition to actively not having children, they may also passively choose not to have children due to subjective or objective reasons. .

But at the same time, "DINK" also needs to meet some conditions, such as both parties having income and no children. Whether it is a subjective choice not to have children or an objective reason to accept not having children, it can be called a "DINK". For "DINK".

In the film and television drama "Things About Couples" about the "DINK Clan", there is an explanation like this: The so-called Tiedin does not want children or pets, so the two of them live together. Bai Ding, after a period of being a DINK, he later had a child, so he became a Bai Ding. As for Dingo, it's very simple. You don't need children to live with a dog.

What kind of person would choose "DINK"? 1. People who are infertile have passively become "DINKs" due to their own reasons, but they accept this reality calmly;

2. People who are afraid of marriage and childbearing lack confidence in marriage and are afraid of changes in the process;

3. People who think that having children is too hard do not want to go through the long and painful process of raising children;

4. People who are under too much pressure in life are more likely to live in first-tier cities because of the difficulty of survival. There is a lot of pressure and work pressure, and you do not want to reduce your current quality of life, so you make this choice;

5. People who want to enjoy the world of two people and think that the appearance of children will destroy the relationship between husband and wife, Having a child is indeed a hurdle, and there will be many conflicts and problems that did not occur in the family in the past;

6. People who are worried about the high cost of raising children and have too high expectations for raising children think that since they cannot If you want to give your children the best material and spiritual enjoyment, it is better not to have children.

"DINK" has two sides

We can't say that "DINK" is necessarily bad, but we don't promote "DINK" either. The emergence of an emerging thing will always have two sides, and we must treat it rationally.

Advantages of "DINK" 1. Economic freedom. You can save a lot of money by not having to raise children;

2. Free time. Without having to raise or take care of children, apart from work, you will have a lot of free time to do what you like;

3. The relationship between husband and wife is stable. Since there are no children as a concentrated body of conflicts, there are fewer parenting differences between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, friction and quarrels between husband and wife, etc. The two people will focus more on each other, encourage each other, and learn from each other. By growing together, the relationship between husband and wife will be very stable;

4. Live for yourself. If you don’t have children, you won’t have the spirit of dedicating everything for your children like others, and you will spend more time on your own improvement and growth, and try your best to realize your dreams;

5. There is more pressure in caring for the elderly. Small. If you have children, you will spend a lot of money on them. If the elderly become seriously ill, it will be difficult for ordinary families to support them. Without children, there will be less financial pressure, and some money can be given to both parents to improve their lives.

Disadvantages of "DINK" 1. If you have not experienced the feeling of being a parent, you may feel that something is missing;

2. If your parents do not agree, after their parents pass away, There will be a strong feeling of guilt;

3. When I am older and sick, I still hope that a child can come to see me and accompany me;

4. If you regret it midway, a woman is already an advanced maternal age and needs to bear greater fertility risks. If she goes through in vitro fertilization, etc., it will be very painful;

5. Men can also find younger women to have children again. , but a woman has no fertility, no lover and no children, so she will be the one who is more hurt;

6. Going back on your word midway will seriously affect the relationship between husband and wife. The film and television drama "Things About Couples" originally wanted to be The "DINK family" regretted it at the age of 36, and became infertile due to advanced maternal age. In the end, the couple became suspicious of each other and headed for divorce.

What do you think of the "DINK tribe"?

There is no standard answer in life. How should a person live his life? Some people say that a person's life is complete and perfect only if he gets married, has children, and then has grandchildren.

But, how can there be a perfect life? In fact, there is no standard answer to the journey of life. Everyone is born unequal, and there is no need for everyone to take the same path.

Whether it is a DINK or having a baby, it is just a choice in life. No matter which choice you make, everything will not develop perfectly as you expect. Everyone chooses a lifestyle that suits them, and people's mentality will be different at each stage. Since you have chosen such a lifestyle, don't look back.

Give enough respect and tolerance. There is no right or wrong in life choices. All tomorrows are the next step to tomorrow. Because no tomorrow is certain. No matter what kind of lifestyle, there is actually no right or wrong, or even good or bad, only your own choices and costs.

As for the different lifestyles chosen by individuals, everyone has the right to choose their own life direction, and when this diversified world gives more and more respect and tolerance to people who do not follow the crowd, This era is the real progress.

Things you need to pay attention to after choosing "DINK"

There is a question on Zhihu: What happened to the DINKs born in the 70s and 80s? Below, a close friend in her 40s talks about her feelings as a "DINK". She failed to conceive naturally at the age of 35, so she just let nature take its course and became a "DINK".

She believes that her life after becoming a "DINK" is very fulfilling and happy. The relationship between husband and wife is also very stable, the financial pressure is relatively small, and the life of both parents is stable and leisurely. In order to reassure her, her husband All the property is placed in her name, and she is grateful. She hopes that she can live longer and take care of her husband.

As a person who has experienced it, she also listed some things that need to be paid attention to after choosing to become a "DINK".

Prepare enough pension for yourself. You should start preparing for retirement when you are young. You must have income other than pension insurance to protect your life in your later years. Learn more about financial management and investment, not just to make money, but to avoid being cheated when you grow old.

Eat a healthy diet, have a regular work and rest routine, exercise regularly, cook your own meals as much as possible, and order less takeout; maintain a healthy work and rest time to ensure your energy and physical strength; once you are over 40 years old, you will feel For various physical discomforts, you must exercise in a targeted manner and maintain it.

If you cannot enjoy the filial piety of your children in a hospital bed, you should start keeping yourself healthy from a young age and try to prevent yourself from getting sick as much as possible.

You must have your own interests and hobbies, you must cultivate your own interests and hobbies, and get to know friends who have the same hobbies. When you are in your twilight years, you can take care of each other, and you can also get encouragement and encouragement during your downturn. comfort.

Learning self-rescue knowledge. The most fearful thing for those without children is to be bedridden. "DINK" needs to regard every bedridden disease as a difficulty, and then try his best to overcome it and learn to self-rescue as much as possible. and self-reliance. This difficulty is extremely real, so the "DINK tribe" needs to do its best to ensure its independence.

To realize your dream, what are you most afraid of without having children? Lack of energy and motivation, becoming lifeless. If you have a dream, you have a direction in life.

Maintaining this kind of spiritual motivation and strength, running on the road of self-improvement and realizing dreams, will involve the whole body and even the mind, and there will be a steady stream of vitality and motivation.

We cannot say that getting married and having children is the best standard answer in life, nor can we say that "DINK" is something very fashionable and worth promoting. We can only say that "DINK" is actually a personal choice. Just a lifestyle. And the lifestyle that suits you is the best.

Someone named Tina Liu on Douban Diary said something that I think is very good:

“It’s good not to get married, congratulations on how much freedom you have; getting married is also good, congratulations. You have one more person to accompany you; having children is good, your life has continued; DINK is also good, you live for yourself; divorce is good, you have the courage to say no to mistakes; growing old together is also good, you know how to be considerate and considerate. Tolerance. There is nothing superior about being single, and there is nothing to show off when you are married. Marrying yourself is nothing, the real thing is to prevent your life from getting out of hand."

I hope all of us will be cautious about gains and losses. , cherish what you have, live up to time, and live up to yourself.