1. My mother is going to give birth to a second child. My milk cooks good food for my mother every day. I eat bones today and fish tomorrow ... I look greedy, so I said, Grandma, can you make it up for me, too? My breast gave me a look: if I make up for it for your mother, your mother can have a grandson, and if I make up for it for you, you can also block a toilet ...
2. A man went to a hotel to eat, and he tasted the fish and meat that had just been served, and said with emotion: I wish I had known this kind of food a few days in advance. The hotel manager heard this and said happily, Mr. Wang is really a gourmet! The food in our hotel is really first class. The man went on to say, thank you! I mean, if I had come a few days earlier, the fish and meat would have been fresh.
3. I drove the goddess home after dinner last night, and I was a little excited on the way. I happened to meet a drunk driver, and the police asked me to blow it. It was normal, so I blew it again, and the value still showed normal. The young traffic policeman asked the old man next to him if the instrument was broken. The old traffic policeman took a look at me and said, don't worry, he didn't drink, and pulled a girl to see that she was blushing like a monkey's ass ...
4. A friend sold pork for
five years. Suddenly he felt that he had no passion, so he switched to a hair stylist. On the first day of work, the boss asked him to help his guests wash their hair. As soon as the guests lay down, he weighed their heads and said,
three pounds < The customer stared at his friend in confusion, and the friend scratched his head and said awkwardly, I'm sorry, I thought it was a pig's head.
5. My colleague's wife is free of pregnancy, and the expected date of delivery is the beginning of the Dragon. He boasted to his mother, Mom, your daughter-in-law will give you a dragon prince. As a result, his daughter-in-law was born prematurely in the Year of the Rabbit. Colleagues called his mother to report the good news, and said weakly: Mom, I didn't have a dragon prince, but I gave birth to a rabbit ... < P > 6. A friend was strictly controlled by her daughter-in-law and was depressed all day. I give him an idea: shall I take you to the boxing gym? Let it out. Let it out. He asked me: how can I vent? I said, just think of the sandbag as your wife. In the gym at night, the coach asked me: The man you brought is sick! I asked: What's wrong with him? The coach said: Your friend has been kneeling in front of the sandbag all afternoon ...
7. The daughter-in-law updated her signature: I would like to exchange my 11 Jin of meat for my mother's 1-year life. Then my mother-in-law commented at the back: Daughter, I don't want to become a thousand-year-old demon for your mother ... < P > 8. I talked to my wife's brother: Don't worry, brother. Your sister won't bully you again! Brother: Brother-in-law, you are awesome. My sister has been conquered by you! I spit out a cigarette and said: conquering a P1.1 is 1, she changed 1 to 1 after 1, bullied 1 and lost 1, and I 1 to 1!
9. On that day, a father and son came to the store to buy an Apple mobile phone, and the son looked like a junior high school student. When paying the money, the son said to his father: With your IQ, you still buy a smart phone? Then his father replied: you have a high IQ, but you can't afford it. 11. I went to my brother's house. I just sat down and didn't make tea. My sister-in-law asked in the kitchen, honey, do you want lemon flavor or ginger flavor, hot or cold? My brother: I have just eaten fish, and the smell of ginger is gone. I want ginger juice! Hot! I waited for a while: Brother, my sister-in-law has a problem with me! Why doesn't sister-in-law ask me what I want to drink? My brother: drink a wool! Is she helping me put the detergent? I'm going to wash the dishes later ... 11. Take my son to the supermarket to play. As soon as he enters, he runs to the cashier and asks, Aunt, give me a coin. The cashier smiles and says, You have to exchange money with your aunt! The son said seriously: Aunt, my mother has no money, so I'll leave her here for you!
12. I went back to my hometown with my boyfriend. At the entrance of the village, my boyfriend was in a hurry and it was convenient to go to the Woods. I was waiting by the roadside. A grandfather came and asked me: Girl, who are you looking for in our village? Me: Grandpa, I'm going to Li Xiaodong's house! Just then, my boyfriend came out, and I said to him, Did this uncle say that he is from your village? Boyfriend: Who doesn't know this grandson? My neighbor. I tugged at my boyfriend's clothes to make him speak politely. When my grandfather saw my boyfriend, he greeted him happily:
Grandpa, are you back? I'm CAO1.1, farmer 1, village 1, generation 1, 1, true 1 is 1, too 1, chaotic 1 ... 1.