so teach your son

A (singing) Only sons are good in the world, and Lao Tzu with sons is like a grass; Hold your son's tiger brain, his son is a treasure. Only a son is good in the world, and Lao Tzu who has a son is not afraid of being old. As long as his son lives well, he is not afraid that Lao Tzu will not live.

b are you singing "mom loves me again"?

a no, I'm singing "farewell, son."

b? Your son is dead?

a no, I can't live.

b? You are dead?

a yes, I am dead, and I was killed by my son.

b? Son killed Lao tze? Never heard of it.

a shh-keep your voice down and don't let the police know.

b is too strange. Don't you want to avenge your death?

a no. My son caused such an unfortunate incident because he loved me. He used a knife to express his love for me, but the love was a little too deep.

does b have such love?

a of course, because my son is different from yours, but he is one of Qian Qian's ten thousand sons. My son is not as good as yours, but he is still a very good son among countless sons. Therefore, a son is always a son, and he can't be better than his son's Lao Zi and his son's Lao Zi. Therefore, the son of Lao Zi is much more important than his son's Lao Zi at any time.

b, stop it. A son is Lao Tzu, and Lao Tzu is a son, so are you.

a how can you be so indifferent to each other?

b didn't you just say that?

a I mean, families nowadays generally have only one son, and some don't even have one. Therefore, sons are extremely important in the family. Sons are generally at the center of the family, so it is necessary to strengthen education for sons. The ancients said: if you don't teach, your father is guilty, your teaching is not strict, and your teacher is sui. Therefore, every son has the right to education; Every Lao Tzu has the responsibility of strictly educating his son. Therefore, it is the bounden duty of every father to strengthen the education of his son.

b how did you educate your son?

when my wife was pregnant, I used modern scientific means to conclude that the fetus was a male son.

What is a daughter son?

a in a word, he is a male citizen, so I will play music for him for prenatal education.

b what music?

A music that can strengthen male consciousness. I don't know its name, but it is very powerful.

b, you learn and watch.

A (learn the music quoted in the comic dialogue Chess in the movie Chasing)

B (cover your ears) God, aren't you afraid of hurting your son's nerves?

a is not afraid. My son had the heroic spirit of eating iron and urine, drinking gold and silver, being the only one who was the biggest, and never urinating.

don't grow eight legs.

As soon as my son A was born, I gave him adult education.

b what is adult education?

A is to educate him as an adult. For his early maturity, early adaptation to society, make good mental and ideological preparations.

b what kind of education did you have?

First, A trained him in economic consciousness, so as to prepare him for the market economy in the future. I'll let him know RMB first, in all denominations. Picking up a hundred-dollar bill, he said to him, "Good son, you must remember that this is what people call an old man's ticket. The most valuable. When you grow up, you must get countless such big tickets.

b your son got the message and blinked?

first, he grabbed the money without looking at it. He put it in his mouth and ate it.

b, come on, you're lighting a lamp for the blind-it's a waste of wax.

a no. This is an important action that my son understands and understands. He eats it in his stomach and melts it in his blood. He will definitely put it into action in the future.

b I hope I don't have diarrhea.

After A established his economic consciousness, I also established his self-defense consciousness. Let him know knives, guns and clubs. Tell him that this is a knife, and its only advantage is that it can put the person you hate to the ground and make him unable to lie down.

b? Aren't you teaching your son to kill?

a no, not murder. It's self-defense. This is a necessary tool for our heroes to demonstrate. Of course, because our national conditions do not have the level of owning a pistol and adding dollars, at present, we can only educate our son to add RMB to the dagger.

b? You want to train your son into a modern butcher.

A is nontoxic and not a husband. Why are you so uncivilized! I think you are too poisonous in Confucius and Mencius. It has to be cleaned with a cleaning agent.

b I'm not open. However, I hey hey ... < P > What about you?

b I'm alive, but you're dead.

A dies for his son's benefit, and a fair death honors the whole life. Heavier than Mount Tai.

b maybe. Even if it's not that big, no one will weigh it.

a doesn't have a scale, just know it yourself.

B is called a mouse climbing the scale hook.

What does A say?

b claims to be from.

a that's right. Now everyone is for me and I am for me. What is important is to call yourself. When my son was just able to speak, I trained him to tell lies.

b? Tell a lie? Never heard of it.

a you are really a frog in the well, and you have never seen the sky before. The frog just came out of the eggshell, making a fuss. I tell you, now is the era of developing commodity economy. As the saying goes, no one is unscrupulous. No fake, no business. Therefore, we must educate our children to comply with this requirement and conduct lie training.

b how do you train?

A starts with the simplest lie training. Conduct false enlightenment training.

b which lies are simple?

a lie is the opposite of the truth. So let him be sarcastic first. For example, if you have eaten, if people ask you, you say you haven't eaten. By analogy, it can have an immediate effect.

b let me ask you, can you answer with irony?

a wants me to be a son once? All right, anyway, my son is much more noble than Lao Tzu.

b have you eaten?

a (burps) no, no.

b are you dressed?

a (looking at herself) is not wearing it.

b do you have parents?

a didn't.

b can you talk?

a won't.

b are you something?

a I'm not a thing, you are not a thing.

b I thought you said you wanted to be sarcastic.

A has been trained so strictly. My son's level of telling lies has improved rapidly.

what's the performance of b?

a for example, my wife gave him pocket money. I asked him, did mom give you money? He said calmly that he didn't give it. I had to give him another share. He didn't want to go to kindergarten, so he said the teacher was ill and had a holiday today. On New Year's Day, I bought a painting for my son and asked him to give it to the teacher. After work, I asked him if he had sent the painting to the teacher. He said he sent it. I asked again, what did the teacher say? He said that the teacher said thank you. I'm glad to hear that, so that the teacher will take good care of my son. A few days later, when I was looking for a book, the painting was actually in the bookcase. I asked him why he lied to me.

b what did your son say?

my son smiled and said meaningfully, isn't an apprentice who can surpass the master a good apprentice?

b? It can also rise to the theoretical level.

a I'm like a mute marrying a daughter-in-law. I'm too happy to say. I suddenly jumped up and hugged my son's baby head and said loudly, I see, you are really my son, my father's good son, my baby son, a son with ambition, a son with ambition, a son who is ambitious, a son who is ambitious, a son who is arrogant, a son who is successful in his official career, and a son who is arrogant ...

B In a word, as far as the president is concerned,

a forbid you to slander my son. Or I'll ask my son to beat you up.

b let your son hit me? The son of preschool? Didn't you let fleas eat tigers? Look at me. No, he's got a long neck.

a, you dare not. With me here, don't you dare touch my son. I watched you with a stick. Then let my son hit any of your weakest parts. Until I knock you to the ground and step on one foot, so that you can never turn over.

b? Are you helping your son fight? You are really a son-

A what?

second dog.

a of course, otherwise why do you call your sons little emperors now? Can this dog's position be low in front of the emperor? Remember, the son must be backed by Lao Tzu before he can get out. It's scary

b how did you support your son?

a didn't I tell you? To train your son's self-defense consciousness, isn't it? For example, my son was beaten by Mingming next door. I called him out and asked him why he hit my son.

b what if he didn't call and your son lied?

it doesn't matter if you didn't play. Anyway, it can be assumed or assumed that he called. In this way, you can train your son through a live target.

b how did you train him to bully children?

a this is not bullying, it is training. I asked him why he hit my son, and the boy was frightened. I kept saying I didn't play, but I didn't want to play with my son. Because he often grabs his bubble gum. I snapped before he finished, you're talking nonsense. I saw you slap my son twice, and you dare to say you didn't. I told my son to keep an eye on him, you go up and fight, and if he dares to do it, I will be rude to him. When my son heard this, he jumped up, kicked and hit like a little lion, bit and scratched, and beat the living target until it screamed and begged for mercy. After many strict trainings. My son dared to teach every child a lesson when I wasn't there, and he soon became the king of the children of our pockmarked alley. Moreover, there is a tendency to rush out of the alley and head for the whole city. I was so happy that I put my son around my neck and danced and sang: Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, there are rosy clouds in the sky and underground king of the children, as long as the father and son are closely United, they will defeat the baby. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey

a accounts? What is the bill? Who did I mess with? Who dares to get even with me?

b your son hit my son.

a my son beat your son? What a joke. Your son is taller than mine in terms of size; On strength, your son is older than mine; On age, your son is older than mine; As far as the mind is concerned, your son is more poisonous than mine. Only your son can beat my son. How can my son beat your son?

you asked your son to call.

a ouch. Heaven and earth conscience. You listen, you listen. How can I support my son to hit people? This is purely an international joke. Slip into the world. Whoever wants his son to hit someone else's child will die a natural death. Go out and hit a car, cross a bridge and fall into a river, explode by plane, derail by train, get bitten by a mad dog halfway, and get AIDS imported from abroad when you go home.

b, it's no use cursing again. My son is your son. Where else did he get the wound on his face?

Private www.pangdan.com/dabing/ was injured by my son? All the injuries in your family are caused by my son? Is that scar on your grandfather's face also made by my son? Heaven and earth conscience. This good man can't do anything. Be a donkey's liver and lung with kindness. To tell you the truth. The wound on your son's face was bitten by a dog. If I hadn't seen the dog driven away, I didn't know what I would have bitten. Instead of rewarding me, you framed my son for calling.

b you're talking nonsense.

a nonsense? You're talking nonsense. Even if you are right, where is the witness? What about the physical evidence? Who can prove it? Without evidence, you are framed. The crime of framing shall be sentenced to fixed-term imprisonment of not less than three years but not more than ten years, and if the circumstances are serious, it shall be sentenced to life imprisonment or even death.

b you, you are really unreasonable. Go to court with you for such a trivial matter? It's not disappointing enough You're not afraid of shame. I'm afraid. Forget it, we can afford this kind of loss. Just know who you are. Can't we afford to hide if we can't afford to be provoked? Mingming, go, and don't pay attention to this rudeness in the future.

a is great. Just know what kind of person I am Just in case you don't know.

b then who are you?

a, have a look.

b is unreasonable?

a no, wasn't I reasoning with you today?

b is extremely selfish?

no, I'm willing to sacrifice everything for my son's benefit. Even my life.

b what kind of person are you?

a can't guess?

b can't guess.

a I'm-HIV.

b HIV? Oh, my god

if anyone dares to touch me, let him die a natural death. In this way, who is afraid of everyone, who dares to mess with me?

b is that still a person? Why does a person have to be scared? When people are afraid of you, you lose the care, help, friendship and love that you are most proud of and should have ... < P > Don't lecture me. Although you have friendship and help, you have no deterrent and strength.

b me? I'd rather be a lovable Torajiro without strength than a intimidating tojo hideki.

a you are really uncivilized, old-fashioned, and a laggard of the times.

b I am uncivilized and old-fashioned, but I am still alive, but you are dead, as light as a feather.

a (crying) doesn't hit people in the face, and swearing doesn't expose shortcomings. Why don't you pick which pot to open? Don't think I hate my son just because he killed me. On the contrary, I will always miss my son, but I have a great regret.

b what?

A can't crawl all over the floor and let his son ride as a horse.

b is really a slave.

a, you can't do it if you want to. My son has an economic mind since he was a child. When he was still wearing pants, he knew that big money was more than small money, and more money was better than less money. So, he doesn't spend a little money, he only spends a lot of money.

b what is big money and small money?

a this is a special term for my son to engage in economic activities since he was a child. Small money refers to small face value, and large money refers to large face value. My son only spends a lot of money, not a little money. You have to use a hundred-dollar bill to buy a chocolate, but you can't give any other money. Otherwise, he would roll around, throw my shoes into the street, hit the glass with stones and scold my wife's grandmother.

b? You spoil your son like this, and when you grow up, you don't kill and set fire?

shh, keep your voice down. The public security bureau is investigating this case these days. Don't let anyone know. For the safety of my shoes, for the safety of my glass, and for the safety of my wife and grandmother, I have to give him more than five bills every day.

b how much your son can spend.

a my son at least every day.