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People who stay in society for a long time will gradually put on masks. Under the mask is another life of my own. Some people wear masks for a long time and can't take them off.
Many people grow up and live the last life they want. But in front of people, you should pretend to be strong, pretend everything, pretend education, pretend experience and even pretend personality in the trend of society. Like a hard shell, it protects its fragile self-esteem.
"Keep one hand in everything" "People in society are complicated, so remember to pay more attention to yourself when you go out". When I go out to study, my family often tells me that the society is very complicated and it is difficult to make sincere friends. Especially after work, don't expose yourself to others without reservation, which will be very dangerous and easy for people to catch your weakness. It's not frankness, it's stupidity.
So we all wear masks when we enter the society. Some people want to look stronger, while others want to look less weak. Some people wear masks for a long time and forget their true appearance; Some people gradually form multiple personalities. In front of them, they are glamorous, and behind them, only they know how unbearable they are. ...
In our daily life, the circle of friends is probably the most hypocritical place. Everyone shows his best side in this circle, what food he ate today, where he traveled tomorrow and what expensive cosmetics he bought the day after tomorrow. Then, many people think that your life is so chic that there will be envy, jealousy and disdain.
But they don't know that your travel photos are the scenery you took on a business trip. Perhaps, when you sent this circle of friends, you were having breakfast at the noodle restaurant downstairs in the hotel. The photos of expensive cosmetics that you seem to take casually may have been bought by you after several months of scrimping and saving. ...
All this is to tell others that I am doing well. Look at the praises and messages of friends circle and satisfy your little vanity.
02
Little a is probably like this.
I probably know what he looks like. He doesn't seem to wake up all day. He takes a book with him everywhere, and his personality is by no means the kind of person who is easy to associate with people. He is a very introverted person. It happened that such people have a strong desire for self-protection. I don't like to disturb others, and I don't like others to disturb him.
He is not very good at communicating with others, and he likes to immerse himself in his own world no matter what he does. So his hobbies are probably the same, all things he can do. Look: fitness, mountain climbing, reading and writing. You can do everything by yourself.
But in China society, connections are very important, and by his nature, he is probably inseparable in China. After graduating from college, he began to wear a mask and gradually learned how to say different things to different people.
Friends around him say that he has been in society for a long time and his emotional intelligence has become higher. Actually, it's not like this. It's not that I won't see things from other people's point of view, nor that I don't know what to say. Just at that time, he was so angular that he always wanted to live according to his own ideas and let everyone do it according to his own.
Friends described him as protecting himself with a shell like a crab. Later, he became a hedgehog.
After graduation, he went to S city, left the comfortable environment of his hometown and went to the big city to work hard alone. By the time he came back, he seemed to have changed. I'm not so edgy anymore. I seem to be a stranger in front of outsiders, and I have become what we used to know in front of friends and family.
We were curious about his experience and changes. Later, he said this to me:
At that time, I just graduated and went to S city with my enthusiasm. I joined the company smoothly and was admitted to a good company soon. But he was very angry and cried several times in the first two months. He said that he had made a big mistake, but he had to bear all the responsibilities. Yesterday I was a close colleague, and the next day I spread my gossip in front of others, and even made up some false guesses.
He said that the most tiring thing is not work, but dealing with trivial matters in interpersonal relationships carefully every day. Later, Xiao seems to have adapted to this working life and stopped crying or talking to people. Occasionally, a chatting person said to me, "Dear son, if we are not sincere friends, we need to put on a mask to deal with it."
I sigh that he will feel this way just after graduation. Indeed, I can't imagine the intrigue he experienced in S City. Everyone's social experience is different, and their perception of life is different.
03
Everyone in society wears a mask. Put it on, it is a person; Change the mask, another person; I'm afraid you only dare to take off your mask at night when no one is around.
When I was in the graduation interview, I piled up resumes over and over again, thinking over and over again about how to deal with various problems in the interview, not seeking truth, but seeking the best; At work, you should do a good job, even if it is against your will.
I have met too many people, whether for work or dignity, or for recognition and respect from others, who are always so dignified and tall in front of their employees and children. More or less, they always live with masks in order to pretend to be what they want. 、
We used to make fun of Xiao, who was like a hedgehog and could not survive in society. But later, we gradually became hedgehogs, and we need to rely on a suit of armor to protect ourselves in society. At this time, the mask has become our best disguise.
We are used to using it to hide our unnaturalness, our soft and fragile side, and our thoughts and intentions that outsiders can't see. Only in this way can we find a world where we can settle down in this complicated world.
04
Whether it's society or love. Clearly care about each other, clearly know that each other care about themselves, but still say all kinds of hurtful words. In order to make yourself look less humble, you can only pretend to be cold; Fight with others, even if you are afraid, pretend that you are very powerful, and you can't let the other party see your timidity; I like going to the mall to buy clothes, but because my friends like it, I can only pass the buck and say I don't like it to show my generosity and selflessness.
We have to admit that, more or less, everyone has an inherent inferiority complex in human nature. Greed, selfishness, gluttony, sexual desire, laziness, anger, jealousy … So God wrote down the seven deadly sins of mankind. In fact, it's much more than that.
In modern civilized social groups, in order to achieve moral standards, gain the respect of others, and gain the core social competitiveness. We can only put on masks to suppress our nature. On the big stage of society, show yourself well.
I don't think everyone likes to live with a mask, but they play different roles in society and everyone has their own difficulties. After all, it is not easy to suppress one's heart, and one needs to hide one's inner thoughts at all times.
We wear masks to get what we need, but we lose the possibility of being understood and trusted by more people. We wear masks and keep alert and prepared for the world, but we are exhausted. We try to create a strong, excellent and almost perfect face, but what we see through the mask is a tired and lonely soul.
Therefore, we always envy those who are honest and dare to be ourselves. I hope more friends can show sincerity and be honest with each other. Borrow a popular online language: urban routines are deep. So more and more people shouted to take off their masks and be sincere. But how many people really have the courage to take off their masks?
In our childhood, we hated the hypocritical faces of many adults, but when I grew up, I gradually became you. Became the kind of person I least like.
We can choose to expose ourselves without a mask, or we can choose to wear a mask to protect ourselves. But no matter what, we have to pay the price. It's just that sometimes I look back and think, after wearing the mask for a long time, are our hearts still there?