(Compiled based on the Himalaya audio by teacher Hu Zhonghai) Parents hope that their children can become a social elite and a leader in the future, or in society, they also need boys to become a responsible and responsible man in the future, so the relationship between society and parents

There is a way to realize this hope, that is to cultivate a boy within yourself.

Internal cultivation is not to make boys live a hard life without enough food and clothing, but to make boys develop the excellent qualities of being hard-working, upright and kind, independent, responsible, and thrifty.

These habits developed since childhood will accompany the boy throughout his life and benefit him for life, becoming an inexhaustible capital deep in the boy's heart.

There is a saying: Hardships and hardships make you successful.

If you want to achieve great things, you must go through hardships and hardships. Therefore, if you want to cultivate an excellent boy, you must cultivate the boy internally. Only by cultivating the boy internally can you cultivate a great boy.

Hello everyone, here are the rules for cultivating outstanding boys while loving your family and having children.

Today let’s take a look at boys’ competition, not comparison.

? There was a saying that was once popular on the Internet called envy, jealousy, and hatred.

This kind of envy, jealousy, and hatred is a deep psychological anatomy. Envy is the first psychological stage, jealousy is the second psychological stage, and hate is the deeper psychological stage.

If a person is allowed to develop from shallow envy to deep hatred, his psychology will definitely destroy his interpersonal relationships.

If you have listened to the previous online or offline courses in our series, we all know that family relationships determine interpersonal relationships, so there must be a reason for envy, jealousy, and hatred.

There was a recent graduate of Guanghua College in Beijing who was a recent graduate of Guanghua College in Beijing. He was once a famous figure in the college. He was the best among the students in terms of academic performance and practical ability.

Well, he participated in our life planning, entrepreneurship and employment training camp for college students.

In the first half of 2017, he received an appointment letter from a multinational company with an annual salary of over 100,000. His employment prospects were also immeasurable. However, when he was about to graduate, a classmate in his class actually found a job with a salary higher than his.

This news made him uncomfortable because the student's grades were very average and far behind him.

In the end, he actually threw away his current position and looked for a new job. Unfortunately, he searched for half a year and could not find a better job than that classmate.

Perhaps due to psychological pressure and poor mental state, he was in the course. After the meeting, he came to me, and then we gave him professional guidance for about half a year before the child came out of it.

In fact, this student went from feeling unbalanced to quitting his job and having to compare himself with his classmates. In the end, not only did he fail to find a better job, but he also let psychological pressure defeat him.

In fact, a typical psychology like his is the comparison behind envy, jealousy, and hatred. It is no longer about competition. Competition refers to both parties being on the same plane and playing to each other's strengths to get what they deserve. Society

Remuneration, prestige and wealth.

But comparison may be unrealistic and it becomes a psychological problem.

Competition is a social concept, and comparison is a psychological phenomenon. For those male college students with high self-demand, comparison phenomenon is everywhere, comparing with wealth, comparing with work, comparing with girlfriend, etc.

According to surveys and research, it is found that freshmen compare with each other about digital products and game equipment, and then compare about who joins a larger club and whose student union department is the hottest. Freshmen and sophomores compare about who has more girlfriends, who is pretty, and who is older.

The third factor is to see who has more money, and the students’ practical experience in the units. In the end, it’s a big deal, and it’s about who has the door closed and who has the widest access.

I once heard of the most outrageous case of envy and jealousy. A male college student in the Journalism Department of Renmin University was admitted to the editor-in-chief of Xinhua News Agency. A classmate in the same class spread rumors out of jealousy, saying that he found this good job because he had a backer at home.

work.

Finally, the rumor reached the ears of the male classmate, and the two started fighting in the classroom.

In fact, boys’ competition is not about comparison, so where does the comparison mentality come from?

There is a common saying among middle school students that if you wear Adidas on your feet, you will wear Nike and Li-Ning. It is understood that a pair of genuine new Adidas sneakers costs 800 to 1,000 yuan, and there is a strong sense of comparison among students.

On campus, in order to put an end to such comparisons, some schools have even promulgated regulations requiring the wearing of school uniforms during school hours. However, such non-competitive comparisons among students about the delicacies they eat, the famous brands they wear, and the high-end entertainment they play.

, still not eliminated, this mainly comes from the image we have of our children in our families. One middle school student said that the school requires the wearing of school uniforms, so the only thing we can change is the pair of shoes on our feet. A pair of high-end brand-name shoes can highlight my

Personality, the students in our class all have a special liking for famous brands. If anyone wears famous brand shoes or who wears newer brand-name shoes, it will definitely become the focus of discussion in the class.

There are more than 40 students in the class, and almost everyone has a pair of Nike, Adidas and other brand-name shoes, and some even have four or five pairs. If anyone does not wear or does not have brand-name shoes, he will be laughed at by other students.

So shameless.