Reply to the invitation: I personally agree with your interpretation. There is some truth in this statement. When you meet an opponent who is more likely to be jealous, or who is stronger than yourself in all aspects, it is not up to him to be jealous, and at the same time, there will be too many characters who are eager to compete with others. This kind of person is somewhat distorted in his heart. Personally, I think it is normal!

because he always feels that he can't lose to others. People's life, as long as we don't lose, confidence in life, the pursuit of ideals, if the struggle to fight, the struggle to fight, we can look at the gains and losses with a normal heart! Don't be too demanding and expect too much in your life. Since God doesn't favor you, and won't let you stand out from the crowd and stand out from the crowd, why insist on it?

Happiness is deep in our hearts

He Junjie/Wen

There are flowers in spring, autumn and moon, cool breeze in summer and snow in winter. If you don't mind your own business, it is a good time on earth. -

I read an article recently, in which I was deeply touched: "A person always looks up to and envies the happiness of others, but when he looks back, he finds himself being looked up to and envied." In fact, everyone has their own happiness, but your happiness is often in the eyes of others.

? When I was working in Guangzhou, my wife insisted on going with me, but the leaders of the unit didn't want to, because their unit only had single dormitory buildings and no households. I'm taking my family with me, and the company has to rent a house for me again.

There is a big age gap between my husband and my wife, and my wife is very headstrong. Without my permission, she quietly came to Guangzhou from Beijing. The unit leader had no choice but to rent us a house.

once when I went out, they argued a few words. There were many people on the subway, and I stood behind her to protect her. She moved forward from time to time and turned to stare at me with strange eyes, not wanting me to be close to her body, showing anger.

The grown-ups around me were unwilling and pointed angrily at my nose and cursed: "You are such an adult, bullying a little girl, and so many people dare to play hooligans. It's really shameless!"

A young man shook his fist in front of me and was indignant: "Old man, you want to be beaten, right?"

I have to retreat. In this case, there are too many brave people who don't know the truth. It's hard for you to argue if you are beaten.

I know that she is intentional, and she wants to give me an ugly face, and also wants to see how I deal with this crisis?

when things are over, she always laughs and apologizes to me: "I'm sorry! You are an old fox, what kind of scene can't you cope with? "

The age difference between us was twenty-three years old, and she turned twenty-two like a little girl of sixteen or seventeen. She knows how to win the sympathy of people around her. Give me some color to see see.

In this case, I can only give way to her. After all, I really love her. Everyone has different ideas in the pursuit of happiness. I just like her willfulness and her freedom.

I don't like to pursue too many things. There are some things that are too tall for us to pursue all our lives, but they will make us physically and mentally exhausted. True happiness never depends on the judgment of others, but only on your own inner feelings.

I remember that once she wanted to go to Guilin in Beihai with some of her classmates. During that time, my work was not smooth, so I didn't allow her to go, and she began to play childish.

We went out to work together, and there happened to be a policeman on the roadside. She walked up to the policeman in a few steps: "Uncle policeman, there is an old man who has been following me!"

The policeman shouted at me, "Stop! What do you do? Take out your ID card. " I didn't bring my ID card. I said I would go to work or I would be late. The police refused to let me go and forced me to the police station.

my wife took the opportunity to run away early. At the police station, I said you were cheated. That girl is my wife. No one believes that in the end, the unit leader came to write a certificate and a letter of guarantee before being released.

The boss is very angry: "Look, look, what object are you looking for?" It' s true that the six parents didn' t recognize it and sent their husbands to the police station. Why do you want this wife? "

"To find a wife is to find a good woman of the same age who can share joys and sorrows, understand and understand each other, help * * * and do housework. Look at what you are looking for. The age difference is more than 2, like a middle school student of 16 or 17. Can I live with you? You will suffer for a long time in the future! "

The boss criticized it earnestly for a long time.

I have to say that she is young and immature, and will gradually mature with her age in the future.

Everyone wants to have a perfect life. However, if the water is full, it will overflow, and if the moon is full, it will lose. If there are shortcomings, it will last for a long time. If it is not perfect, it will be called life. People who have tasted regret often know the true meaning of happiness better.

? Happiness is invisible and intangible, not how many people you can control when you are prosperous, but how many people are with you when you are frustrated; It's not how much wealth you have, but how many smiles you have. Real happiness is family harmony, neighborhood unity and physical health, as simple as that.

Only the calmness of the mind, followed by physical and mental pleasure, is the real source of happiness.

No, it's just a psychological effect. It's just a sense of fear. It's not strong enough. It's just an ideological attitude. As long as you are healthy, happy, safe and quiet, live in peace, think about Do not forget your initiative mind and so as to achieve your final goal, live in peace and cherish each other, live in peace and quiet. Live comfortably, live safely, live happily, be happy, be a man without fear, be timid, be timid, be a man without shrinking, be a man without fear, be a man without anxiety, be a man without anxiety, be a man without coke, be a man without anxiety, be a man without sin, be a man without anxiety and symptoms. Don't be a little emotional and passionate, don't be too emotional and stressful, don't be too emotional and stressful, don't be manic, don't be manic, don't be restless, don't be thrilling and exciting, don't be cruel and trample you, me, everything, and your image.

don't compare with others. It has nothing to do with us if others have more money or less. As long as they can afford it, it is a blessing for others. Do what you deserve.

A few years ago, there was a street interview, and the content was "Are you happy?". During the interview, the reporter met a cleaner's aunt. When the reporter asked the aunt, "Aunt, are you happy?" Aunt's first reaction was, "What did you say? I can't hear you. " So the reporter repeated the question, and the aunt responded, "Ah? What? " The reporter asked loudly again, "Aunt, are you happy?" Aunt shook her head again and again. "I don't know what you said." Then he bowed his head and continued to sweep the street.

The other is an old man. The reporter asked him if he was happy. The old man said, "My name is Chen." The reporter thought that Grandpa didn't hear clearly and repeated it. Grandpa said, "My last name is not Fu, my last name is Chen." The reporter asked again, and the uncle said, "My name is Chen."

Happiness is a personal feeling

Happiness is a psychological experience and a comprehensive evaluation of individual's emotions, feelings and sensibility to life.

Whether a person is happy or not has nothing to do with whether he meets some so-called "happiness standards", but is related to TA's self-experience rest.

For example, a person only works from nine to five every day, goes to work and goes home step by step, rarely participates in so-called social activities, and rarely travels anywhere. In the eyes of some people, they may think that this person's life in this life is very boring and meaningless. But for this person, he may feel that this is a kind of happiness, family harmony, stability without any changes, and no need to worry too much.

For example, some time ago, Zhang Hongmin, the former anchor of CCTV news broadcast, was photographed sitting on the street eating ice cream. As a result, some people on the Internet began to ridicule him, saying that he was alone, did not contribute to the country without getting married and having children, and his old age was bleak. However, if you are not a fish, you will know the joy of fish. Maybe people just sit on the street and enjoy food, or maybe they live a full life. Only he knows whether Mr. Zhang is happy or not, but those who easily speculate that others are unhappy, or even ridicule, must be unfortunate in their hearts. Because of misfortune, so projection; Because of misfortune, so malicious speculation; Moral kidnapping because of misfortune.

As walpole said:

Factors affecting happiness

When it comes to happiness, people will think of many famous sayings and chicken soup about happiness.

But Beecher said:

In these famous sayings, we see many standards about happiness, all about personal feelings, which is the core part of happiness. It is precisely because of this that some happy chicken soup came into being, such as "forgetting is the best revenge".

However, is happiness really just what it says? To be precise, all these mentioned only one factor of happiness. Perhaps, Horace's words are more appropriate:

Happiness is influenced by many factors:

1 Personal Experience

Whether a person is happy or not, the mentality is of course very important.

However, mentality is cultivated in the process of growth. In other words, whether a person is happy or not, TA's early experience is the starting point and the cornerstone.

A child who grows up in a family that is beaten almost every day, or a stay-at-home mother who is struggling to survive in domestic violence, is far from being happy. At this time, it is undoubtedly nonsense and irony to tell TA not to "keep up with the competition". In this case, both children and mothers need to leave and change the environment before they can talk about happiness.

Similarly, a person who lives in a poor mountain has problems with food and clothing, and his mind may only be left with how to get through every day and how not to starve to death. In this case, TA is not happy.

And a person who always moves around and stays with relatives or strangers (for example, John Lone) is extremely insecure. TA thinks more about how to make himself feel safe and not be abandoned.

There are also children who are always bullied on campus, but are unable to fight back, and can only transfer to other schools all the time. They are also extremely insecure, and may even feel inferior, which may lead to serious psychological diseases such as social phobia and depression.

......

So, from this perspective, happiness is not because the heart of comparison is at work, but because personal experience has laid the foundation.

2 psychology and humanity

Of course, since happiness is a personal experience, in some cases, an individual's mentality also determines whether a person is happy or not to some extent.

For some people with psychological distortion, due to various experiences, their inner negative emotions have not been channeled in time, resulting in a strong desire for control, jealousy, excessive narcissism and extreme inferiority. Such people not only can't feel happiness by themselves, but also bring misfortune to others.

In terms of extreme inferiority, a person with extreme inferiority may become overly narcissistic, so he is very self-centered and dislikes everyone. He never thinks that he is right and all his mistakes are others. Because of their strong vanity, such people will not admit their mistakes even if they make mistakes, but will only blame others, and they often find fault, and some are accompanied by strong desire for control and greed. At the same time, they often have a strong jealousy, and they can't tolerate anyone being a little stronger than themselves, so they have a particularly heavy heart of comparison. Once they think who is stronger than themselves, they will try their best to sabotage it.

For women, the most common thing is to be jealous of other women who are more beautiful than themselves; Men are often jealous of power and ability.

For example, once a girl was subjected to various runs by girls in her class because she was beautiful and had few words. Even after graduation, she set up a WeChat group and deliberately excluded her. Instead of informing her at the class reunion, she was smeared by various rumors. In this case, whether the girl is happy or not does not depend on whether she will compare with others, but whether the rumors of these people will hurt her; For these people, jealousy is the source of destroying happiness.

It is not only human psychology, but also human nature.

jealousy, pride, meanness, laziness, gluttony, anger and lewdness are called the seven deadly sins, largely because they destroy people's happiness and social civilization. This is human nature, but it is not necessarily caused by the heart of comparison.

3 environmental factors

The dark side of human nature often affects the environment.

For example, in the earth where we live, in many cases, as long as people live in harmony with nature, it is good to make rational use of natural resources. But people always want to conquer nature, resulting in environmental pollution.

The polluted environment in turn affects people's lives. The polluted food and air affect people's physical health and mental health (depression is increasing, and environmental pollution is "indispensable"), affecting climate change and human living environment.

Of course, there are some exceptions, such as Finland and Iceland, which are so close to the polar circle. Because of the special natural phenomena of extreme day and night, the prevalence of depression is among the highest in the world, and the suicide rate is particularly high. Although they are all high-welfare countries, irregular sunshine seriously affects people's emotional stability. Happiness may be available for some of them, but it may be a luxury for others.

human nature also affects the social environment.

The rapid development of science and technology, the fast-paced society and the increasingly stressful life. In this case, some people feel that life is getting better and better, while others feel that life is getting worse and worse.

among them, there are some people who don't allow others to say yes because they feel bad. This is a kind of moral kidnapping, a kind of self-centered mentality. However, it is not only these people who are kidnapped by morality, but also some people who have the character of "sage feelings", that is, people often say that they abuse good people; Some blx, jealous and irresponsible people are also good at moral kidnapping; There are also some people who seem to be just chatting on the surface, but in fact they are making rumors; Some people who advocate violence ... These people are the factors of social instability and also affect the society. Worst of all, some of them are not only "not to be taunted" but also "unable to hide". From this perspective, happiness is influenced by the surroundings, although it is not decisive, it is also a very important part.

Therefore, although happiness is an individual's inner experience, it is not determined by the individual's mentality, but by all aspects, which influence each other and are indispensable. Only when the society is truly and thoroughly harmonious and civilized will everyone be happy, but this is a long process.

that's my answer. if you have any other questions, please leave a message in the comments section below for discussion.

basic recognition. Because of the good comparison,