Scholars have been romantic since ancient times. Among the three women in Lin Yutang's love life, the one she loves most failed to enter his life in the end.
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When I was young, I didn't guess because of geographical reasons.
1895 10 June10, a priest in Zhangzhou, Fujian welcomed his seventh child. The happy couple were just happy at that time, but they didn't know how much surprise and achievement this child would bring them in the future.
Why are they happy to name their children, and he is Lin Yutang.
Lin Yutang's father, Lin Zhicheng, is just an ordinary priest in Banzai Village. His salary is meager, but he has eight children at home. Although his family is not rich, his father's optimism, his mother's generosity and the care of his brothers and sisters have deeply influenced Lin Yutang's character and made him grow into an optimistic and cheerful person in the future.
As a teenager, Lin Yutang liked to go to the stream to catch fish. There is a girl, nicknamed Olive, who is the daughter of an adopted daughter adopted by Lin Yutang's mother and should be called "uncle".
Two people often catch small fish and touch crayfish together. When she was squatting in the stream to catch fish, a butterfly landed on the tip of her hair. When she walked slowly, the butterfly did not fly away.
The scene here is so clear that Lin Yutang remembered it until he was 80 years old.
Although Olive is a very thin girl, her eyes are always melancholy and she looks preoccupied, but she is a stubborn girl with ideas in her bones.
Olives usually have to work and often wear black clothes. But on Sunday, she changed into a light blue cheongsam, with a small oval face and warm eyebrows, which was very charming.
When he was young, Lin Yutang was addicted to natural love. Until the eve of going to St. John's University in Shanghai, Lin Yutang proposed to Olive and wanted to take her to Shanghai. I didn't expect Olive to simply refuse.
Because olive has a blind grandfather who needs her help and care at any time; Because she believes that her hometown has the best fruits, fish, melons and vegetables, and charming scenery, she doesn't want to live far from her hometown.
Faced with different choices, the two young people finally parted ways.
On the day when Lin Yutang left his hometown, he saw Olive standing on the edge of the cliff and looking at her figure. Thin girls, blue cheongsam and hair dancing with the wind are fixed in Lin Yutang's mind.
Probably, people always miss their feelings when they are young, especially as they grow older and see more ways of the world, and they miss the simplicity at that time more and more.
Later, Lin Yutang wrote a semi-autobiographical novel Lai Baiying to describe this lush past.
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Two young people of the same kind stopped at the door.
Lin Yutang went to St. John's University in Shanghai. He is not only outstanding in literature, but also the captain of the school debate team and the school rowing team. He is also proficient in baseball and tennis, and set a new long-distance running record in the sports meeting.
Such an excellent and gentle young man has become a man of the hour in the school.
Lin Yutang has two very good classmates: Chen Xizuo and Chen Xiqing, so he often goes to the Chen family. In the long run, I noticed Chen Jinduan, the sister of the Chen brothers.
When I first met Chen Jinduan, Lin Yutang froze. Although he is the captain of the debate team, he can't say a word because "she was born beautiful".
Chen Jinduan was studying painting at St. Mary's Girls' School. There was only a wall between the two schools. Naturally, he also heard about Lin Yutang's deeds.
The two young people like each other, but the two brothers see it clearly. They also appreciate Lin Yutang's talent, and they always find excuses to walk away and give them more space to get along with.
When they are together, they not only talk about literature, but also talk about ideals, just like love is not only in front of us, but also dreams and distances.
"I want to write a book and let the whole world know that I am Lin Yutang!"
"Tell me, what is your ideal woman like?" Chen Jinduan asked with gentle eyes staring at him.
"The perfect woman in my heart is my mother. She can talk to Shen Fu about painting and calligraphy; The woman I admire is Li, who worships her stupidity and loves her beauty. Of course, my favorite girl is you in front of me. "
I have to say that this eloquent scholar is really sweet and tired, and it will really make women look good.
But soon, Chen Jinduan's father found out the truth and flew into a rage.
Chen Jinduan's father, Chen Tianen, is a returned overseas Chinese compatriot and a Christian. He is famous for practicing medicine and running a local enterprise. Moreover, he had a lot of financial support for Sun Yat-sen in the early days and was regarded as a noble family.
On the other hand, the Lins are so ordinary that even Lin Yutang's tuition in Shanghai is raised by selling a house in Zhangzhou.
For the sake of her daughter's future, Chen Tianen resolutely opposes their marriage.
Chen Jinduan's numerous excuses prove that Lin Yutang is a reliable person, but he still can't convince his father to put her under house arrest.
Since my daughter can't handle it, I have to start with Lin Yutang.
Chen Tianen found Lin Yutang and told him bluntly: "You don't deserve my family. I already have a suitable candidate, the son of a noble family. You should die. "
Lin Yutang was almost stunned after hearing this. He lingered outside the courtyard wall of the Chen family courtyard until the evening.
When I got home, my second sister found Lin Yutang in a bad mood and asked him what was going on. I never thought that this seven-foot man would cry and be extremely sad.
Chen Jinduan is Lin Yutang's beloved woman, but in the end she failed to step into marriage hand in hand. Although parents' orders and matchmakers' words were very important at that time, if two people were braver, maybe the future would be different.
03
Most of my life depends on perseverance.
Although Chen Tianen opposed Lin Yutang as his son-in-law, he also appreciated his talent and made up for it. So, the next day I called Lin Yutang and introduced him to Liao Jia, the richest man in Gulangyu next door, saying that Miss Liao Jia was very suitable for him.
Lin Yutang has not recovered from the blow of lovelorn, and he is very indifferent to this marriage.
But the Lins' parents are very satisfied. Lin Yutang's sister, Lin Jolie, is studying in Yude Girls' School, and she is a classmate with Liao Cuifeng, the second young lady in Liao Jia.
She told Lin Yutang that Miss Er was very knowledgeable. Although she was born rich, she is not arrogant. She is a typical lady. It would be nice to marry her.
Liao Cuifeng's cousin Liao Zhaoqian and Lin Yutang are in the same school. He has told his sister that Lin Yutang won four awards at the graduation ceremony of his sophomore year.
When Lin Yutang was asked by his parents to propose marriage, his gentle appearance touched Liao Cuifeng's heart. When Lin Yutang stayed for dinner, Liao Cuifeng frequently peeked at him.
Lin Yutang was left behind that night. After he fell asleep, Liao Cuifeng sneaked in and took out his dirty clothes, cleaned them quietly and sent them back the next day.
Although Liao Cuifeng is so determined to get engaged to Lin Yutang, Liao's mother is very worried. Chen Jia is afraid that her daughter will suffer with Lin Yutang, and Liao Jia loves her children!
In the face of her mother's worries, Liao Cuifeng has a firm attitude: "What happened to poverty? I have a crush on him. "
Lin Yutang later learned Liao Cuifeng's mind and was very grateful, but he didn't mean to get married right away. Because he still can't let go of his feelings for Chen Jinduan.
Four years passed quickly, and Lin Yutang was going to study at Harvard University. At this time, marriage is imperative.
On the night of the wedding, Lin Yutang has been preoccupied. Liao Cuifeng thought he didn't want to marry himself. He was thinking of asking him, but Lin Yutang said, "Let's burn the marriage certificate!"
Liao Cuifeng froze on the spot. I think: you just have to think about Chen Jinduan, and now even the marriage certificate will be burned. Do you like me so much?
However, Lin Yutang went on to say, "The marriage certificate is only used when you want a divorce. For me, this is unnecessary. "
It turns out that Lin Yutang is making an end of the past. Since Liao Cuifeng is not afraid of poverty and chose herself, this life is hers.
Liao Cuifeng has been moved to tears. Where can he manage to obey the rules? Now she nodded with tears and did the most shocking thing in her life.
This is Lin Yutang's responsibility as a man. Since a woman has entrusted her whole life to herself, how can she be wrong to pay for life?
04
The two most unlike people have been working together for half a century.
Although Lin Yutang didn't marry the woman he loved, since Liao Cuifeng was identified as his wife, he accepted his mind and lived wholeheartedly. The love between them is actually cultivated bit by bit after marriage.
On the ship bound for America, Liao Cuifeng got appendicitis, and the doctor said that he should have an operation as soon as possible. However, considering that he has only one thousand silver dollars on him, if he has surgery, Lin Yutang's tuition will not be enough.
Liao Cuifeng refused the operation by biting her teeth and only relied on simple drugs. Lin Yutang was grateful and distressed to see her blanched with pain.
In the later days, with the savvy of business people, Liao Cuifeng kept their lives in order. Although she was once poor and could only live by selling jewelry and dowry, she still supported Lin Yutang to complete her doctorate.
Lin Yutang's second daughter, Lin Taiyi, once said, "No two people are more unlike my parents."
Lin Yutang hates all forms of bondage, such as ties, belts and shoelaces. Liao Cuifeng must be dressed neatly when going out, and brooches, watches, earrings and even the corners of clothes must be ironed.
When eating, Lin Yutang likes to eat chicken wings, chicken necks and other things that gourmets love to eat; Liao Cuifeng only eats square pieces of meat such as chicken breast or chicken leg.
Lin Yutang has the sentimental feelings of scholars. When they visited the Acropolis, they looked at the solemn ancient city walls and the blue and quiet Aegean Sea. Lin Yutang said that this wonderful nature should really live here and enjoy it.
Liao Cuifeng knocked on the sore calf, dismissing: "I don't live here. It's inconvenient to buy a bar of soap down the mountain. " Lin Yutang couldn't help heart.
Two such different people, though inevitably stumbling, have been holding hands for half a century.
1969, on their golden wedding anniversary, Lin Yutang gave his wife a gold brooch engraved with Lin Yutang's translation of Old Lover:
I care about each other wholeheartedly, but I can't bear to part with my feelings.
Time flies, silver hair and thin temples.
If ghosts are on different roads, Fairy House should be sad.
If you want to laugh, unless you meet someone.
At that time, when a reporter asked about the secret of their marriage, Liao Cuifeng summed up several points: "Don't tell your husband's fault in front of friends; Don't form the bad habit of scolding your husband in person; Don't think you are smart; Don't talk big at ordinary times, and don't talk big when you encounter difficulties. "
On the other hand, Lin Yutang said with deep feelings: "Marriage life, like crossing the sea, is bound to be turbulent. Marriage requires two different people to live the same life. The beauty of a woman lies not in her face but in her heart. When you fail, she encourages you; You were set up, and she still believes you. At that time, she was really beautiful When you see her nurturing and supervision of her daughter and her sacrifice, gentleness, understanding, handling and patience, you can call her an angel. "
Lin Yutang not only said so, but also did so. When Xu Zhimo, Liu Haili, Guo Moruo and other talented people who returned from studying abroad abandoned their wives in old-fashioned marriages and married young and beautiful trendy women without exception, Liao Cuifeng once teased Lin Yutang why he didn't follow suit, but Lin Yutang seriously answered her: "I can't live without you."
Just like Lin Yutang's sentence in Su Dongpo's Biography: "How can Lingnan be bad? This peace of mind is my hometown. " This sentence is the voice of Su Dongpo and his wife. Isn't it the voice of Lin Yutang and Liao Cuifeng?
"The problem for us modern people is that we regard love as a meal, marriage as a snack, and marriage in love as a snack. No failure. " It was with a grateful heart that Lin Yutang looked at his wife who lived with him day and night and devoted her love to daily necessities and trivial matters, thus "turning an old-fashioned marriage into a beautiful love".
Start with looks, end with family background, and be loyal to the soul. Love is also a kind of practice on the long road of life. Marriage needs not only tolerance, but also management, appreciation and gratitude.
We cherish what we meet and let go of what we lose. With reverence for life, piety for marriage and love for family, we can go further hand in hand.