Last week the Xu Zhiyuan incident aroused heated discussions on the Internet, and also set off a wave of enthusiasm for taking sides. Netizens seemed to have found an outlet for their lives, and keyboard warriors were filled with indignation over and over again. I brushed my three views.

However, as bystanders, taking sides and slandering will not cause internal changes in the people on both sides of the incident. Just like we have expressed our opinions fiercely to our parents countless times, and our parents have spoken sincerely countless times. They tried to "awaken" us, but in the end they all ended in silence.

In life, people like Ma Dong who can transcend the constraints of age and freely shuttle between 60, 70, 80, and 90 are really rare cases. Most people (don’t just blame the elders, here Including you, me and others, we cannot think outside the era and environment in which we grew up. We are all trapped in our own three views and have established different barriers.

Before we start our discussion today, let’s take a look at a few short stories of people from different generations in their daily lives.

Grandfathers and grandchildren | @张小白_Z

I still remember when I was a freshman, I went back to my hometown during the summer vacation and wore a pair of baggy ripped pants. At that time, I felt like I was squirting. A few days later, I saw that there were patches with detailed stitching on the pants that were collected on the balcony? I was about to ask what was going on, but I heard my grandma say to my father: "The child has gone to college after all. Give me more pocket money. You can Look at the torn pants and they are still wearing them."

Me: "?"

Father and son generation | @ bananabananaguale

I posted this on Moments at night. Food, with the text "Late Night Food Bomb, yes, I am taking revenge on society!"

Then, my dad sent me a private message: Don't post reactionary remarks, your political stance must always be correct, and asked me to delete it immediately.

Brothers and sisters | @ Dong Sloth

My brother is 8 years older than me. When he was a kid, he watched a cartoon about soldiers and four-wheel drive brothers, so he forced me to accompany him. He placed little figures on the balcony and watched him play with little racing cars? But I was not interested at all. I just wanted to go back and watch my Cardcaptor Sakura.

There will be different cultural barriers between different age groups. Some are humorous and funny, but some are depressing and powerless.

I have heard countless people say that no matter what environment you stay in for a long time, you will be assimilated into similar people by the environment; but this assimilation is really individual-specific. Here is another short story. .

Cao 3 There is an entrepreneur born in the 1980s next to Xin, who is probably a loyal believer in this sentence. She always longed for fresh blood in the company, so she hired people born in the 1990s, 1995s, and even 2000s? But when her working environment and even living environment were filled with "children", what changes happened to her? Woolen cloth?

She probably knows what the post-95s generation likes. She often talks about trendy words, and she dresses younger and younger. However, she still only watches TVB (laughing)? What about those people? Trendy views and culture, or lack of interest or even diss like a veteran cadre?

She has never been able to really resonate with those children. There has always been a barrier between them because she has never I really accept those understandings and ideas that are not in line with her growth needs. Naturally, no matter how we get along with each other, we only update the outer packaging, but the core is still the familiar formula and familiar taste. Why is this happening? Here we offer a possibility, maybe all this is because you are constantly reinforcing prejudice.

When it comes to reinforcing bias, in the final analysis, it is the result of our unscrupulous independent choices when receiving information from the outside world.

For example, many people born in the 80s and even the 90s whom I know have the habit of taking reading notes. Interestingly, I recently had the opportunity to look through the reading notes of a friend many years ago and found that he During the reading process, I often excerpted the so-called golden sentences, and then pieced them together and wrote my own annotations. I happened to have read that book, but my perception at the time seemed completely different from the annotations and views of my friends I saw at this time.

When I tried to discuss with him why I came to these conclusions, he couldn’t remember what was written in the book? Instead, he only remembered the contents in his notebook. He thought twice about the few words he had said.

This is an interesting phenomenon of reinforcement in human understanding and memory, selective identification, and then one-sided memory. The prejudice here does not mean that this understanding must be wrong, but that to some extent, every understanding of everyone is a kind of prejudice; when you keep strengthening your views and understanding, you will give One day in the future, I will be able to naturally put myself in someone else’s shoes and create barriers. When you suddenly receive something that does not conform to your conventional understanding, even if you want to understand it, you will find that there is very little information stored in your brain that can support your understanding.

I think the answer is no.

You will find that in real life, it seems that the more educated people are, the more complete and systematic their three-view structure is, and the more selective they are about information, making it easier to present more Solid cultural barriers.

To put it simply, when faced with completely different understandings and opinions, it seems harder for them to be convinced from the bottom of their hearts, because they have a very rigorous and powerful knowledge system to support their current understanding, and the nature of information screening over many years. The above is to strengthen the "prejudice". Having spent more than 20 years in a high-intellectual family, Cao 3xin has a deep understanding of this?

This also directly determines why some people Can freely break through dimensional walls, but some people cannot; some people are full of knowledge but have a narrow structure, and some people are illiterate but have the magnanimity of a sage; younger people may be able to accept new things faster, but we are human beings and we cannot escape. The instinct of recognition, such as the independent selection of information? In this regard, we are no different from the elders. The only difference is probably that the length of accumulation has created different thicknesses of barriers.

If you want to break the barriers (generation gaps) between people, you have to start by breaking all your own solid understandings. You can reflect on the past, and the future starts with changing the way you receive information, such as changing your reading habits, stopping blindly imagining your own stories in other people's words and words, and indulging in those self-righteous "illusory" cries. Try to ascertain the true intention of the text as objectively as possible. Even if you see opinions and arguments that you don’t agree with for the time being, don’t deny them blindly. Try to understand the logic of some dissidents, and try to incorporate viewpoints that are different from your own. Stop reinforcing prejudices, and you will see more possibilities. .

In the traditional generation gap with the elders, as younger generations, we should understand: the teacher does not have to be better than the disciple, and the disciple does not have to be inferior to the teacher. Listen to your parents' advice, make your own decisions, and take responsibility for your choices. This is part of staying confident.

At the same time, don’t forget to think from someone else’s perspective and avoid being overly arrogant and conceited. People are educated and then grow up. Don’t think that you are lucky enough to receive a lot of information in this era. After you grow up, you will start to dislike your uncivilized parents. Any attitude of building barriers or walking away is irresponsible. Throw away your ego and selfishness and communicate with your heart.

As an elder, the most important thing is to get out of the experience value created by inertial thinking, try to trust, trust your children, and trust the emerging culture; do not deny or reject it easily, which will also be harmful. But there is no need to feel sorry for yourself. The good things in your eyes are disappearing. In fact, culture is also reincarnated. If there is indeed death, learn to accept it calmly.

I hope that one day, those who represent tradition will no longer be bitter and resentful, and those who represent the new trend will no longer be arrogant. People can understand each other easily, Love&Peace.