Looking at the key points, this book focuses on the five letters T, R, I, C and K, which respectively represent five different principles: trust (trust), respect (respect), dependence (independence), cooperation (cooperation) and kindness, and is called "TRIC parenting method".
Look at the t trust first. "If we can have trust and respect with our children, make them independent, let them learn to cooperate, and let their hearts be full of goodwill, then it is hard for such children not to succeed." It's time to nod sharply again. I think of a mommy in a circle of friends who is very aesthetic about life. She takes care of her two young children alone and cooks delicious food for them every day. I found her trust in children in her daily diet. She can let her young son play with rice, grab the rice and scatter it all over the floor, and then wash his whole body happily after dinner, fully respecting the process of children learning to use tools and eating independently. The result can be imagined. This is the result that many of our parents dream of chasing milk, but because it has already been caused, the result has to be borne. We lack trust in ourselves, because hygiene or our eagerness for success interferes with the normal development of children, so we can only hurt each other and give up. This is only the initial stage of life. I believe that my friends and mothers will also love her children with trust in the process of their growth and watch them achieve little by little from a distance.
? Back to this book, first tell us to learn to trust.
Let your child be your own CEO. Wow, many of our parents like to emphasize that parents should be CEO. "When you think you are the CEO of this family, the risk is already great, because you can't be the main driving force for children." I once read in her book "Hello, Children" that Miss Annabel said: We should be children's co-pilots. We should help children see the road clearly, guide the direction and be a coach. But it should be the children themselves who really master the steering wheel. This is consistent with the author's view of this book.
? So since children should be the CEO of their own lives, they should be taught to trust first. First of all, you should trust him. ?
? There is an example in the book that makes me reflect: "Sometimes children don't like to eat, it doesn't matter. It's no big deal not to eat one or two things. Even if he does not eat bitter gourd all his life, so what? What are you worried about? Or do you just want to shape your authority, but you have no respect and trust for your child's own judgment and choice? " What are we worried about? Most of the time, I have to finish feeding the last bite, and then what?
? In fact, children should be given the opportunity to make such a decision and try. "Even if you go around a big circle with him and go the wrong way, it's worth it. Because what we want is to cultivate a person's trust in himself, what we want is that there is no problem. " We can show our trust in our children anytime and anywhere, and we can make them feel their own value.
Next, there is a saying about children lying that people have aha moments.
The author is particularly interested in children lying. When she finds a child telling a little lie, she will tell him with a straight face: I caught you. The child is very nervous and doesn't know what to do. She said the solution is that you have to buy me a biscuit. sound of crying or vomiting
"Heavily raised his hand, and gently down, punish in a humorous way. Then the child happily went to buy a box of biscuits, and things were solved. It's not that serious. There's no need to exaggerate it to a great extent. "
The point is, the author said, "The purpose of punishment is to strengthen trust, not to restore it." The purpose of punishment should be to strengthen trust. You bought me cookies, but I still believed you and didn't take them back. I think it's similar to encouraging children to do the right thing. It is worth writing in the palm of your hand to practice.
? To be continued ~