I remember once watching the program "Super Parenting". There was a family that would stage a world war every time it was time to eat. The reason was that the mother always forced the children to finish their meals, and they were not allowed to get off the table until they finished. They resisted in every possible way and disliked eating more and more. A meal turned into a tug-of-war for an hour or two. In the end, both adults and children were exhausted. The originally happy dinner time turned into a recurring nightmare every day...

When I saw this clip, I thought of my parents who set two strict rules for me when I was a child: firstly, I cannot be picky about food, and secondly, no leftovers are allowed. Maybe I can barely manage to not be picky about food due to genetics or natural constitution, but not having leftovers was a nightmare when I was a child. Like the kid on TV, what impressed me most about the dinner table was Every time I looked at my mother timidly and said, "I can't eat any more," but my mother glared at me and said, "You must finish it! No leftovers allowed!" So I could only bury my head in the rice bowl again and eat the remaining food. He reluctantly stuffed it into his mouth, while his mother kept talking to the side, saying preaching words such as "Who knows that every grain of food on the plate is hard work" and "waste is shameful". Sometimes I finish the meal while crying. On the one hand, I feel sad that I did not meet my mother's requirements. On the other hand, my stomach is really upset. I remember the most serious time, my mother forced me to eat a glass of milk and an egg before going to school. But during that time, I was actually allergic to milk and would feel nauseated when I ate milk. However, in the eyes of my mother, she only said, "No leftovers, no waste." "So, I barely finished my breakfast and vomited in the school. It wasn't until the school doctor found my mother and told her personally that I might be allergic to dairy products that I finally escaped the fate of "having to drink milk." .

The result of this education from my parents is that I still don’t like drinking milk, and I have developed obsessive-compulsive disorder about eating - no matter how much food is given, I will try my best to finish it. When there are dishes left on the table, I will nervously feel that it is too wasteful, so even if my stomach hurts, I still can't help but want to "eat some more" and "clear another plate". For a while, I You even have to take some domperidone every time you finish a meal to help with digestion. With such eating habits, it is natural to have a bad stomach. I remember when I first went to college, my roommate and I went to the cafeteria to get a meal. She said that there were two dishes for two meals, so I ordered the same thing. After finishing the meal, I told her that she didn’t feel full, and she said firmly I said, "You are full, but you don't feel it yet, because you are 70% full." This is the first time I heard that there are people who are 70% full after eating (I am always 12% full) Okay), and for the first time I know what the feeling of "fullness" means when you eat comfortably. It was then that I really learned to eat and how to feel hungry and full.

To this day, when my husband and I have dinner with our parents, because my husband and I both have some leftover food, we are taught by our parents that "wasting is shameful" and "as parents, we must set an example" and so on. After a long time, I finally couldn't help but refute!

Regarding children’s leftover food, I have to say that I just don’t mind:

First of all, “hungry and full” is our human instinct. Even the youngest children know that they are hungry. After being fed and sleeping, no child will starve himself as long as we provide food. Therefore, those elders who are always worried that their children will be hungry and force them to eat more are simply worrying about nothing and imposing their own subjective assumptions on their children. If you keep forcing your children to eat, the end result will either be "Compulsive Compulsive Disorder" like me, or they will suffer from "anorexia" where they don't want to eat anything.

Secondly, a child’s food intake is closely related to the amount of exercise he or she does every day, as well as his or her mood and fatigue. It is normal to eat more in one day and less in the next. This is exactly the same as us adults. If we are unwell, no matter how good our appetite is, we will not be able to eat anything. Understanding this, when a child doesn't want to eat, parents should maintain a calm mind and let nature take its course. If you eat little or nothing at this meal, you will naturally enjoy the next meal. Again, no child will starve himself.

Finally, back to the clip in "Super Parenting" mentioned at the beginning of this article, the parenting teacher asked the child's mother, "Can you ensure that you give your child the same amount of food every day?" The mother was silent. After a long time, he answered with difficulty, "No... Sometimes I want him to eat more and grow faster, so I serve him more rice." The nursery teacher said, "Since the amount of food every day is more or less, why can't Allow the child to eat only as much as he wants? Why not let the child serve himself a bowl of rice?”

So, in the final analysis, the problem of children’s leftover food is not something that cannot be solved. The key point is that when the child is young, feed the child according to his needs and do not force the child to eat a certain amount of food. When the child grows older, let him serve his own food and start to take control of his "autonomy" from the time he eats. Make mealtime a time for family bonding.

Conclusion:

In fact, when the nursery teacher asked the mother whether she served the same meal to the child every day, I felt very emotional and asked the mother the same question. Sure enough, the mother also She said that she did give me more food sometimes, and I really wanted to feel sorry for my younger self. Now that I am a mother, I will cook more meals every time, but I never ask LOUIS to finish the meal. I will stop immediately after feeding him every meal until he shakes his head and refuses.

At this point, I think LOUIS is happy, and I hope he can truly learn to enjoy food and feel the call of his body.

(Rabbit Empress: former media worker, currently working as a "full-time mother". I will continue to pay attention to and report on the daily life and social treatment of full-time mothers, hoping that "full-time mothers" can receive more respect and Be loved and given greater encouragement and acceptance by society.

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