When the Pig Meets the Bear
One day, the Pig said to the Bear: "Guess how many pieces of candy I have in my pocket?"
The Bear said: "Guess By the way, will you give it to me?"
Pig nodded affirmatively: "Yes, I'll give you two pieces if you guessed it right!"
Xiong swallowed and said, "I will." Guess five dollars."
Are you willing to die for me?
What to eat
Male: Wife, I'm back. Let's eat chicken wings tonight.
Female: Do you still want to eat chicken wings? I just saw a piece of news in the newspaper saying that chicken wings are the part of the chicken that has the most hormones!
Male: Let’s eat pork then
Female: That’s great, you can also eat pork. I just heard yesterday that there were unscrupulous traders selling fake meat!
Son: It’s not enough to just eat vegetables without meat
Female: I heard there are so many pesticides on the vegetables that they can’t be washed off!
Male: Then we can only eat rice
Female: Rice? Is there any rice that doesn’t have bleach these days? !
Male: It seems we can only drink the northwest wind
Son: Yes
Female: Northwest wind? I heard that everything blowing is car exhaust
Son:...
Male:...
What were you doing just now? Kick me
One day Rabbit was watching TV and got excited.
Suddenly he heard a knock on the door. He went to open the door but saw no one.
"Hello, can you give me some water?"
The rabbit then discovered a snail at the door.
"No!" The rabbit kicked the snail away angrily.
A few years later, Rabbit was watching TV alone at home again.
The knock on the door rang again.
The rabbit ran to open the door.
The snail said: "Why did you kick me just now?!
A happy little joke for children
Grandma taught her grandson: “When you cough, cover your mouth with your hands! ”
Grandson: “Grandma, don’t worry, I just won’t let the tooth fall out.” ”
Sentences from students who will make you laugh your ass off 1. Title: While...while...
The child wrote: He was taking off his clothes and putting on his pants at the same time.
Teacher’s comment: Should he take it off or wear it?
2. Topic: Among them
The child wrote: One of my left feet is injured.
Teacher’s comment: Are you a centipede?
3. Topic: Lu Lu Lu Lu Xue
The children wrote: After get off work, Dad came home one after another.
p>Teacher’s comments: How many fathers do you have?
4. Topic: Sadness
The child wrote: There is a ditch in front of my house. It’s sad.
p>
Teacher’s comment: The teacher is even sadder
5. Topic: And...and...
The child writes: My mother is short, tall, fat and thin. .
Teacher’s comment: Is your mother a Transformer?
6. Question: Look
Children wrote: What are you looking at? Go ahead
Teacher’s comments: I haven’t seen it
7. Topic: Xingxingrong
Children write: Xingxingrong’s confession
Teacher’s comments. : Don’t watch too many TV series!
8. Topic: Delicious
Children wrote: Tasty as hell
Teacher’s comment: Some things are not allowed. Food.
9. Topic: Innocence
Children wrote: It’s so hot today.
Teacher’s comment: You are so naive.
10. Topic: Sure enough
The child wrote: Yesterday I ate fruit and then drank cold water.
Teacher’s comment: It’s a word
11. Question: first...then..., example question: eat first, then take a bath.
The child wrote: Goodbye, sir!
Teacher’s comment: Imagination exceeds the wisdom of people on earth.
12. Topic: Moreover
Children wrote: A train passed by, besides, besides, besides, besides, besides, besides.
Teacher’s comments: I’ll just die
There was a traffic accident. Many people were watching. A reporter couldn't squeeze in. He had an idea and shouted: I am the son of the injured, please give way! Sure enough, the onlookers moved out of the way. When the reporter went over and saw, it was a pig that was crushed to death!
When we first entered school, the whole class introduced themselves. A male classmate walked up to the podium: "My name is Wang Peng. I come from Beijing. I love playing chess!"
After saying that, he went down. The next person was a girl. The girl walked up to the podium shyly and said nervously. Self-introduction: "I...my name is Xia Qi..."
There is a man who has a magic pig. He doesn't want it anymore, so he wants to get rid of the pig, send it outside and the pig comes back! Once he sent the pig to a far away place, and later he called his wife and said: "Is the pig back?"
The wife said: "It's back!"
He Said: "Ask the pig to pick me up, I am lost." One day, the teacher asked Xiao Ming, "1 1 =?", Xiao Ming said: "I don't know." The teacher said: "Ask your family."
He went to ask his mother, but her mother quarreled again and said, "You son of a bitch." He went to ask his grandfather, who was watching TV and said, "The gang boss." He went to ask his sister, who was singing the national anthem and said: “Go forward, come in! I went to ask my brother again. My brother ate ice cream again and said, "It feels so good!" I went to ask my sister again. My sister was singing a children's song and said, "Little rabbit, be good and open the door."
The next day, the teacher asked Xiao Ming 1 1=? Xiao Ming said: "Son of a bitch.'" The teacher said: "Who taught you this?" Xiao Ming said: "Gangster boss." The teacher said: "What are you doing?" Xiao Ming said: "Go ahead, come in!" After class, the teacher asked how it was? Xiao Ming said : “It’s so cool! Xiao Ming closed the teacher's bar, and Xiao Ming said: "Little rabbit, be good, open the door, the teacher is down.