42094 After a night of fighting, the wife said to her husband, "I finally understand why the apes have evolved to walk upright," and the husband asked, "What's the reason? "was pressed straight" Humor 3056

42093 A man panicked and rushed out of the tuck store, a woman holding a hundred-dollar bill wildly chasing, screaming "but also my chastity," passers-by are confused, to see the woman caught up with the man, the hundred-dollar bill thrown to the man, the man put tens of dollars to the woman. The male threw a few dozen dollars to the male, and the male gave the female a few dozen dollars. The original is "return my real money" Humor Jokes 1731

42092 Inventor boasted to a friend: I invented a robot, it is exactly the same as a person! My friend asks: does it never make mistakes? Inventor: No. But when it makes a mistake, it blames it on other robots! Humor 191

42091 A student bought a plate of "male mosquito music" mosquito incense. Everyone asked "how to call the male mosquito music?" "Female mosquitoes out to suck blood are smoked drowsy, male mosquitoes do not just take advantage of the opportunity ......" Humor 273

42090 A farmer's father in his son's letter to see the "net worms! "A farmer's father saw the word "webworm" in his son's letter, and felt fresh, and immediately wrote back, "Your father has only seen locusts and cabbage worms in his life, and brought a male and a female webworm home, not live, but dead." Humor Jokes 296

42089 Wife discussed with her husband: "I want to put a statue of a master musician on the piano, who do you think is the most suitable?" Husband: "Based on your level, I'd go with Beethoven." "Why?" "Because he is deaf." Humor Jokes 270

42088 The farmer drove the donkey into the city, met a scoundrel asked: eaten? The farmer said, "Yes, I've eaten! The farmer said, "I've eaten," but the scoundrel said, "I'm asking about the donkey! The farmer turned to the donkey is two slaps, said: to the old man is not honest! There are relatives in the city did not say a word! Humor Jokes 2619

42087 The salesman said to a customer who was smoking, "Sir, we prohibit smoking here." The customer replies, "This is a cigarette you bought here." Salesman: "So what, we also sell hand towels here!" Humor Jokes 474

42086 A: "Alas, the last holiday my girlfriend and I went to the mountains for vacation, and the result is to get a person killed." B was shocked: "Ah?" A and embarrassed to say: "is and girlfriend out of a small life." Humor Jokes 330

42085 The police found a car every 10 meters to run up and down a little. So he went after it and stopped it: "What's wrong with your car?" The driver was full of fear: "No, nothing, Mr. Policeman, I, I always hiccup." Humor Jokes 357

42084 A moderator before the game to talk about the notes: "We have to wait for me to finish 'start' after the answer." Then further emphasized, "Be sure to wait for my 'begin' to come out before grabbing oh!" Humor Jokes 454

41954 Mom lectured Xiao Ming: "Why don't you know better? Uncle is here, why do you still want to go to the zoo to see the bears?" Humor Jokes 865

41953 Do you want to have a good set of teeth? Here are three lessons for you: one, rinse your mouth after meals and brush your teeth in the morning and evening; two, go to the hospital every two years to check your teeth; three, mind your own business. Humor Jokes 635

41952 Slip of the tongue: Xiao Zhang said to Xiaoli caring: "It's raining, don't forget to take an umbrella, wet is a small matter, gonorrhea is a big trouble!" Humor Jokes 664

41951 A man was bitten by a dog, rushed to the doctor for medicine. The doctor was getting ready to leave work and was full of displeasure: "Look what time it is, how come this time?" "I'm sorry, I do know, but the dog doesn't understand!" Humor Jokes 417

41950 The girl called out, "Teacher! Just now I saw a lot of ants in the toilet" The English teacher asked in passing, "How do you say that ant?" The girl looked at the teacher in surprise and said, "The ants ...... it said nothing ......"

41894 The unit leader summarized the speech: the reason why we can't get our work done is: One is like a widow sleeping, no one above; two is like a prostitute, the top of the old change; three is like sleeping with his wife, his own people are always screwing their own people. Humor jokes 2675

41892 A traffic accident, many people gathered around, a reporter can not squeeze in, the inspiration he shouted: I am the son of the injured, please let! The onlookers did make a road, the reporter went over to see, crushed to death is a dog! Humor Jokes 877

41891 A man fought with three big men one day. When he came back, he bragged, "I let them fight for two hours without knocking me down." The others asked what happened. He said: They tied me to a tree and beat me. Humor Jokes 192

41890 A company recruitment, the next interview girl English name spring. secretary want to show off their English level, shouted: that called "spring", to your ...... Humor Jokes 349 < /p>

41888 School exams, there is a man will not be taken out of the paper ball lots. He grabbed and grabbed the teacher came over and asked him what he was doing, he asked, "Don't you want to check the math?" Humor Jokes 74

41887 A plane will crash, people rush to escape, and finally only a student and the driver: do not care about me, there is only a parachute bag you quickly jump it. Student: where, there is another, just an uncle back is my schoolbag. Humor Jokes 318

41886 A person pouring garbage, accidentally fell in, an old lady came over and pulled him up and said: city people are really wasteful is not just a little bit of ugly Well, it is not thrown ah! Humor Jokes 1140

41885 The female teacher pointed to the apple on the blackboard and asked: children, what is this? The children answered: ass. The female teacher cried and sued the principal students gas her, the principal came to take a look: how do you make the teacher cry? Also drew a butt on the blackboard! Humor jokes 637

41884 A singer sang a song, four judges fainted three, the last one in tears holding the singer's hand: talent ah! The last one held the singer's hand with tears in his eyes: "Talent"! Humor Jokes 495

41883 salesman salesman automatic shaving machine: just throw a coin in, put your face into the machine, a scrape. The customer asks: But people have different face shapes. The salesman says: the first time it does. Humor 66

41882 A man took his car to a repair store and said to the mechanic, "My car makes a muffled bang after every turn." When he came to pick up the car in the evening, he saw the repair bill: repair cost 0 yuan (please do not put the bowling ball in the tailgate) Humor 99

41881 The driver, who lives in the countryside, to please the director, brought green corn from his home and gave it to the director. The director said politely, "This is not good, let you break the expense." The driver said, "This is nothing, in our place these corn are fed to the pigs". Humor Jokes 369

41769 Hungry wolves foraging for food, heard a family member in the training of the child "cry again, throw you out to feed the wolves," the child cried all night, the wolf the next morning, a long sigh of "human talk does not count" Humor Jokes 2559

41707 The son wants to sleep with his mom every night. The first thing I want to say is that I'm not going to sleep with my mom, but I'm going to sleep with my mom. The son answered: Uh-huh! Mom said: What about your daughter-in-law? The son said: let her sleep with dad. The father said excitedly after hearing: this child from childhood to understand! Humor 4146

41706 A man driving a car was in a hurry and quickly peed in an empty Sprite bottle. While stuck in traffic, he gets out of the car and tries to put the bottle in the garbage can, but is stopped by a dedicated patrolman. What's in the bottle: Leftover Sprite! Humor jokes 684

41705 Secretary and section chief **** ride the elevator, the Secretary put a fart after the section chief said: you farted! The section chief said: I did not put it. Soon the chief was removed from his post. The Secretary said at the meeting: you can't afford the fart, what do you need?

41704 A monkey picked up a card and climbed up to a tree branch to see what it was. Unexpectedly a lightning struck it, and the monkey cried, "So it's an 'IP' (get struck) card!!!!" Humor Jokes 1131

41703 Someone saw the sea for the first time and exclaimed, "The sea! Mother!" The words just fell, a wave hit over, just hit him in the face, this person said angrily: "**! Also he **** is a stepmother! Humor Jokes 298

41702 A civil worker stool does not make sense to go to the hospital for inspection, the doctor examined the person opened a prescription, the civil worker to take the medicine to see a roll of handkerchiefs, do not understand, the doctor said: do not use the cement bag to wipe their asses again! Humor Jokes 515

41516 A snail is on the road marching results behind a turtle from his body ran over the snail was sent to the emergency when the snail woke up after the police officers asked him then the situation snail replied that I do not remember everything is too fast! Humor Jokes 949

41437 The Minister of Family Planning went to the countryside to conduct a census and asked the old farmer: Do you know why close relatives can not get married? The old farmer naive smile answer: relatives well, huh huh huh huh ...... huh, too familiar, not good to start! Humor joke 4409

41436 Farmer: "I often feel cold after going to bed at night." Doc: "I've had them too, when I'd put my arm around my wife and it would warm up." Farmer: "That's a good idea, but when is it convenient for your wife?" Humor Jokes 811

41435 Mental patient A took a book and asked B: "What do you think of this novel I've written"? B looked at it and replied: "Not bad. It is a little more characters" At this time, the nurse came in and said: "You put the phone book to me to put back" Humor jokes 541

41434 A person is very stupid always can not find a job, one day he got the opportunity to KFC interview. The manager asked him what his specialty was, and he said I could sing. He then cleared his throat and sang, More choices more laughter at McDonald's. Humor Jokes 643

41433 A couple was signing their marriage license when the groom whispered to the bride... "This is your ticket to a long life." Without batting an eyelid, the bride responded... "Here's your washing machine guarantee." ... Humor Jokes 2377

41429 A young girl holding a cat to buy eggs, to the stalls to put down the cat to pick eggs, the male stall owner complimented the cat: your boobs are so big ah! The female anger, the South stall owner said: your breasts good white ah! The young girl was furious: and then bullshit, I will crush your eggs! Humor jokes 4571

41428 A woman due to small breasts can not marry out, a blind date to the man said: I have small breasts, you dislike it? The man asked: have buns big? The woman said there is! The night of the cave, the man rushed out of the cave on his knees to the sky: God, Wanted small steamed buns! Humor Jokes 3057

41427 A child in the delivery room after the birth of a child laughing, the nurses are very strange, gathered around to observe the child's fists tightly saved, broke open and found a pill, only to hear the baby laughing: "TMD want to die, no way" Humor Jokes 1611

41426 The white rabbit raped the grey rabbit, and the woman said, "I'm not going to die. 41426 The white rabbit raped the gray wolf and then fled, the wolf was indignant and chased, the rabbit wiped his body with dirt to pretend to be a gray rabbit and wore glasses to read the newspaper, and the wolf asked: can I see a white rabbit? Rabbit: Is it the white rabbit of the **** wolf? Wolf shy: I shit, so fast to see the newspaper? Humor joke 651

41403 Hospital shade, a pair of lovers in the embrace kiss. A doctor saw this and went over to the man and said, "You're so confused, to administer artificial respiration, you should lay her flat on the ground, go away and let me do it." Humor Jokes 797

41402 A psychotic lying in bed singing, singing and singing turned over, lying on the pillow and continue to sing. The attending physician asked him why. Neuropathy: Fool, after the A-side singing of course to sing the B-side. Humor Jokes 1417

41401 Early in the morning on the second day of the wedding, the bride painfully out of the bridal chamber, a hand on the wall, a hand over the lower body, cursing: "Liar! What a liar! Before the wedding said there are thirty years of savings, I thought it was money!"