Text/Han Ying
1 This is a tragedy.
A few days ago, I painted The Life of Disliked Pine Nuts, and my tears were just like the rain in Shanghai in the rainy season.
Mr. Lu Xun said that tragedy is to destroy the valuable things in life for people to see. Although the whole film is presented in the form of musical, it cannot change the core of its tragedy. Although she tried desperately to catch the flame of "hope" again and again, she failed again and again. Pine nuts are so simple, so selfless, so kind, but the tragic story is staged over and over again on her, and reincarnation again and again. Why did she end up like this when she could have been happy, and finally failed to escape the tragic ending?
At the beginning of the story, Matsuko is a beautiful and elegant goddess teacher with a bright smile, who is secretly loved when boating on the lake. According to the normal life track, pine nuts may marry a husband with stable work and life, and then the family of three will live a moist and moist life.
However, life seems to be not so smooth for her, only ups and downs ... Matsuko met all kinds of people in her life, and every time she tried her best to be kind to others, and every choice she made seemed to make her fall into a deeper abyss without knowing it, but she enjoyed it.
As a middle school teacher, she was dismissed after being accused of stealing money in order to protect her students, and she never lived a decent career and a normal life-first, she became a bathroom girl to support her poor writer boyfriend, then she became someone else's mistress, and later she became a hairdresser's girlfriend as a shampoo girl, and then she was imprisoned for killing people. After she got out of prison, she met Aaron, a student who was dismissed from school that year and became his girlfriend. Even though Matsuko already knew that Aaron was working for the underworld at this time, and he was an outlaw with his head hanging around his waist, he still made love to him. Many years later, pine nuts took flowers to pick up Aaron who was released from prison, but Aaron knocked her to the ground, vomited blood, and fled in a hurry. The once desperate pine nut who lived only for love finally collapsed and took the initiative to give up on himself.
So, we see that at the end of this story, pine nuts have become a bloated, unkempt and limping lonely old woman, who was beaten to death by stubborn middle school students. It really made the audience feel sad and heartbroken.
Guilt is the biggest negative energy.
Songzi's life is a life kidnapped by guilt.
On the one hand, pine nuts' sense of guilt comes from their sense of responsibility and excessive kindness, but more importantly, it comes from her family, or this kind of guilt engraved in her subconscious is given to her by her father.
Pine nut's sister is in bed because of congenital disease, so the father has a lingering sense of guilt for his little daughter in his heart. This kind of guilt is manifested in that even if there are happy things or funny things, he never laughs heartily. It seems to him that if he is happy, it is a betrayal of his little daughter who is ill in bed. When Matsuko shared his love story with his sister with joy, he was scolded by his father: "Your sister can't fall in love, but you told her this. Have you considered her feelings?"
At this point, the father's logic is: "Since the little daughter can't be happy, the whole family can't be happy, so it is fair to the little daughter." Obviously, Matsuko's father himself has no ability to face his little daughter's congenital deficiency in a positive and optimistic way, nor can he face and control his guilt, and even more, he enveloped the whole family in the negative energy of guilt. He regards his little daughter's illness as his own fault, and he can't reconcile with himself all his life, and he can't calmly accept the facts and live an optimistic life. However, the fact is that this masochistic sense of guilt will not help my little daughter at all, but will hurt the whole family.
David R. Hawkins, a famous psychologist, analyzed the energy levels of all kinds of emotions, and ranked them from the most negative and harmful emotions. The top two negative emotions were shame and guilt, not anger and sadness (refer to book: Power Vs. Force, translated as: Intention: Stimulating Your Potential Power). Guilt is the biggest negative energy, and its energy level is close to death.
Because of this guilt, Matsuko's father has been suppressing his love for Matsuko, and Matsuko has been in a state of extreme longing for fatherly love and full of guilt since he was a child. This sense of guilt makes her self-esteem and self-worth extremely low, and she will never know how to love herself.
This sense of guilt is a burden that she will never be able to unload, which also lays a hidden danger for her later misfortunes and is the source of her tragedy in this life.
Before he died, the bloated pine nut wrote these words on the outer wall of his dirty rental house: "I was born a man, I am sorry." She feels that just being alive is a kind of harm to others. I want to say a word to pine nuts, hoping that you can get rid of that unwarranted guilt and be treated gently by the world. Born to be human, don't be sorry.
3? Please choose kindness.
You must be kind, but be selective. Always love everyone unconditionally, which is pathological in itself.
The pine nuts in prison sang over and over again, "As long as you can live, love is life." She is so short of love that she is desperate for love-she grabs any man who appears in her life like a hungry man, desperately, blindly, doing her best, desperate, and being kind to others like a moth. Matsuko obviously has a beautiful heart, sweet voice, knowledge, culture and love. He could have a bright future, but he wasted all his beauty and youth on those dirty men who never treated her well, and pinned everything on illusory and irrational love.
Matsuko, such a pure and reckless person, is doomed to live in a mess in reality, and even be hurt to pieces, as tragic as the ending of the movie. This so-called purity is not worth eulogizing. Is she brave? No, not at all. On the contrary, she is weak. From beginning to end, she passively accepted everything that life brought to her-all the harm, betrayal, abuse and malice that life brought to her, and all the unbearable men that life brought to her, without any choice. In the face of life's misfortunes, she never thinks about solutions, and does not take the initiative to meet and solve difficulties. Isn't this a sign that pine nuts lack their own principles and bottom line? When she faced the choice, she just lived mechanically, passively, numbly and without thinking, giving up the right to choose again and again and stepping onto the wrong path step by step.
Every adult of us knows in our hearts that not all wicked people will be punished, and not all good deeds will receive warm responses. Therefore, more than 2,000 years ago, Confucius also warned us, "How to repay good for evil?". The rule of life is to report complaints directly and repay kindness with kindness. If suffering is meaningless, then why should we bear it? If we can choose happiness, why should we choose suffering? No matter when, where and under what circumstances, you should never forget that as a human being, you have the right to choose who to love, who to leave, what to do and how to live correctly.
4? Love yourself first, then love others.
Perhaps there will be some disappointments in childhood, which are hard injuries that cannot be chosen, such as pine nuts, and you and me in real life. But this is a common problem of the previous generation in that era, that society and that big environment. There is no need to feel guilty because you are not good enough to be unloved, because it is not your fault. Not to mention blaming or demanding parents, because every family and every pair of parents will have imperfections in every era, but they have tried their best to love you.
Forgive the unforgivable and love him unconditionally, which is what God can do. But pine nuts did it, and the pine nuts in the film undoubtedly played the role of God. However, we are human beings, not God. Let God do what God should do.
Loving yourself is the beginning of a lifelong romance. Remember in my heart that you should love yourself before you love others. Accept yourself, embrace yourself and fall in love with yourself in order to love others peacefully.