02. the eleventh book is incredible (BOOK 1 1)
03. What kind of bat doesn't have to rest and be untidy (restless bat)?
04. Xiaoyu told Xiaoming that her father was impotent and couldn't stop (Jade Dad couldn't).
05. The sheep stopped breathing and stood tall (the sheep didn't exhale)
06. The mobile phone should not fall into the toilet. It is now or never (wet).
07. Dogs don't bark when they cross the wooden bridge, and they never forget.
08. It's sunny when bees stop on the calendar (bees and calendars)
09. A group of people threw eggs at guns and bullets (guns rained eggs)
10. Painters like to draw thick ropes rather than thin ropes.
1 1. Eating with chopsticks is popular (chopsticks to population)
12. Two men sitting on a stone kill two birds with one stone.
13. There are ten sheep, nine squatting in the sheepfold, one squatting in the pigsty (one sheep squatting wrong)
14. The sheep called the eagle, and the eagle answered the PHONE and said, "Hello".
15. If the hat is dirty, turn it over before wearing a crown and a Li Dai (wearing it inside a dirty crown).
16. Ten men watch five women take a bath with colorful colors.
17. Who doesn't have a phone? Tianyi (Tianyi Seamless phone)
18. Who knows birds best? A frightened bird knows a bird.
19. Why does the stallion run faster than the mare? whip the flying horse to an even swifter speed—accelerate the speed
20. Why did the teacher tell us to cherish the four arrows when we were young? Time flies (four arrows)
2 1. How to keep ducks from flying away? Give it a wing.
22. How to make sparrows quiet? Press it (silence the bird)
23. What kind of snake has many mouths? Clashing (snake)
24. What kind of juice is the hardest to drink? rack one's brains
25. Why don't men go out? Because when you go out, you become a layman.
26. Why is seven above eight? Because eight is below seven.
27. Which kind of snake has the strongest vitality? A three-inch golden tongue (snake)
28. Why is the iceberg only a tip? The other corner was broken by the Titanic.
29. How much does the star weigh? 8 grams (starbucks star 8 grams)
30. What medicine is not poisonous? Chinese yam
3 1. Who is the hardest person to associate with? Lily, because every grain (Lily) is hard.
2: I used to have schizophrenia, but now we have recovered.
3. An international student is taking a driver's license test in the United States, and the road sign ahead prompts him to turn left. He is not sure and asks the examiner:
“turn left?”
A: "right."
So ... Hang up.
4: One day, mung beans committed suicide and jumped down from the fifth floor, bleeding a lot and turning into red beans; Has been pus, and turned into soybeans; The wound was scarred and finally became a black bean.
7: Three women were killed in a car accident and went to heaven. When they got there, the angel St. Peter said, "In heaven, we only have one rule here-never step on ducks." After confirming that the three women understood, they entered heaven. There are ducks everywhere in heaven, and there are almost too many ducks to step on. Although they try their best to avoid it, the first woman accidentally steps on one. At this time, the angel St. Peter immediately came to her with an ugly man that the woman had never seen before, and told her that the punishment for stepping on a duck was to be chained to this ugly man forever.
The next day, another woman accidentally stepped on a duck. Then St. Peter came to her with another extremely disgusting man, just like the woman before. St Peter linked the second woman with the ugly man he brought.
The third one has found this cruel result, and she doesn't want to be tied to an ugly and disgusting man forever. So she was very, very careful about her steps. She lived a few months without stepping on any ducks. But one day, St. Peter came to her with a super handsome man he had never seen before. This man is not only tall and strong, but also has beautiful long eyelashes. St Peter chained them together and left without saying anything to the woman. The woman asked the man who was chained to her, "I wonder why I can be chained to you forever?" I don't know about your situation, but I stepped on a duck.
8: A pair of corn fell in love …
So they decided to get married …
On the wedding day ...
One corn can't find another corn …
This corn asks the popcorn beside it: Have you seen our corn?
Popcorn: Honey, I'm wearing a wedding dress.
9: In the music class, the teacher played a Beethoven tune.
Xiaoming asked Xiaohua, "Do you know music?"
Xiaohua: "Yes"
Xiaoming: "Do you know what the teacher is playing?"
Xiaohua: "Piano."
10: Q: Two people have fallen into a trap. The dead are called dead, but what are the names of the living?
A: Call for help!
1 1: Question: What are cloth and paper afraid of?
Answer: cloth is afraid of 10 thousand, paper is afraid of one thousand.
Reason: not (cloth) afraid of 10 thousand, only (paper) afraid of one thousand.
12: One day, a mother-in-law took a bus ...
Sitting halfway, my mother-in-law didn't know the way ...
Mother-in-law hit the driver with a stick and said, where is this?
Driver: This is my ...
14: The host asked: Can cats climb trees? The eagle answered first: Yes! Moderator: Give an example! Eagle tearfully: That year, I fell asleep, the cat climbed the tree … and then there was the owl …
15: Two dung beetles are discussing the welfare lottery. A said: I will buy all the toilets in Fiona Fang 50 miles if I win the grand prize, and I will eat enough every day! B said: You are too vulgar! If I win the lottery, I will pack a living person and eat fresh food every day!
16：Why the chicken cross the street ？ Why did the chicken cross the road? )
Answer to get another side. (Go to the other side. )
17: A: What's that man doing?
B: He's shaking.
A: Why is he shaking?
B: He's cold.
A: Oh, it turns out that shivering won't lead to cold drawing.
A: ...
18: A Mr. Banana dated his girlfriend and was walking down the street. It was very hot, so Mr. Banana took off his clothes, and then his girlfriend fell down ...
19: A sausage was kept in the refrigerator.
I felt very cold, then I looked at the other one beside me, and I felt a little comforted. I said, "Look at you, you are frozen like this, and you are covered with ice!" " As a result, the root said, "Sorry, I'm a popsicle."
Once upon a time, a marshmallow went to play ball for a long time. He said, I'm so tired, I think I'm all soft ...
2 1: This diver's movements are very difficult. He made a twist for three weeks, followed by a forward somersault for three and a half weeks, followed by a backward somersault for one month.
22: mm got lost looking for a university. Meet a gentle professor.
MM: Excuse me, how can I get to the university?
Professor: Only by studying hard can you go to college.
23: The director and the section chief * * * take the elevator. After the director farted, he said to the section chief: You farted! The section chief said: I didn't let it go … soon the section chief was dismissed, and the director said at the meeting: You can't afford to bear the big fart. What's the use of you?
Miss: Business is not good now!
Boss: Why?
Miss: "Bird flu …"
25: A woman trembled when she met a robber and said, "I'm from XX school. I just graduated, and I haven't found a job. I really don't have any money ..."
After listening to it, the robber actually cried bitterly. "Sister, I am also from XX school. You take a good student ID card. You can rest assured that I will never rob my own people!"
26. I want to talk to my girlfriend ML. My girlfriend said that I can't do it without taking a shower. She promised that it would be "partial" if it was cold. After washing, my girlfriend was very shy and said, "Dear, you are lazy, where can you wash it ..." I even fainted after listening to it, and I just brushed my teeth.
27: A blind beggar is begging in the street wearing sunglasses.
A drunk came up and felt sorry for him, so he threw him a hundred yuan.
After walking for a while, the drunk turned around and happened to see the blind man facing the sun to distinguish the authenticity of the hundred-dollar bill.
The drunk came over and took back the money and said, "You don't want to live, how dare you lie to me!" "
The blind beggar looked aggrieved and said, "Brother, I'm really sorry. I'm here for a friend. He is blind and went to the toilet. In fact, I'm dumb."
"Oh, I see," so the drunk dropped his money and staggered away again ...
28: bird flu-it's all caused by "heaven shit"! ! !
There are two kinds of people who have a great chance of getting bird flu-1."Animals"; 2. People who are "worse than animals".
29: A: Hey, how did you learn to smoke?
B: I will when I steal the forbidden fruit from Adam and Eve ~
C: Do you know why Adam and Eve stole the forbidden fruit?
AB: I don't know!
C: Because Adam has no cigarettes! (hint: homophonic word)
30: Someone has just been abandoned by his girlfriend, and happened to meet his ex-girlfriend flirting with his new lover in the street. The more he watched it, the more angry he became, and he wanted to humiliate them. So I said hello politely and said contemptuously to my girlfriend's new love, "You don't dislike the secondhand goods I used!" Just when he was proud of his creativity, his ex-girlfriend laughed and said, "One inch outside is old, and all inside is brand-new!"
3 1: When we broke up, she gave me a kiss, and it felt as real as People's Daily ...
32: I just saw something similar to a news scroll bar above the computer screen of Senior Sister, and the words on it passed very quickly.
I am curious to ask: Is this the lyrics?
Senior Sister: Yes!
Senior Sister: How did it pass so quickly? I didn't even see it clearly!
Senior Sister: From Jay Chou! !
33: Wife: I'm really blind. I'll marry you when I step in shit.
Husband: I'm really blind to step in dog shit before I marry you.
Shit: I am so unlucky! Lying there, both of you stepped on it ......
34. College entrance examination chemistry questions: A and B can be transformed into each other, B can generate C in boiling water, C can be oxidized into D in the air, and D smells like rotten eggs. What are A, B, C and D?
I replied: A is a chicken, B is a raw egg, C is a cooked egg, and D is of course a rotten egg!
35: Which is the worst, rubber, tiger skin or lion skin?
A: Eraser.
Because of the eraser.
36: Q: 3 What is that with one head and one foot?
Answer: 3 monsters with one head and one foot!
37: The ant went to the desert. Why didn't he leave his footprints in the sand, but only a line?
Answer: Because it rides a bike!
The ant came home from the desert. He didn't inform anyone, but his family knew he was back! Why ah!
Answer: I saw his bicycle parked downstairs.
38: One day, a female drug addict was caught in the police station. Police saw a tattoo on her hand and asked her why you tattooed your boyfriend's name on your hand. Is his name Xiaoliang ... Ah ... isn't it? Come on, say ... Is he taking drugs? Come on.
I saw the female drug addict raise her head with angry eyes.
Say to police
This is hate ...
40: One day, Xiaomei and her boyfriend went out for a drive.
The car was almost out of gas, and there happened to be a gas station next to it. When driving past, a sudden gust of wind blew her boyfriend's hat away.
Xiaomei's boyfriend said to her:
"I'll pick up my hat, and you help me cheer. 」
Not far from her boyfriend, she heard Xiaomei shouting behind him:
"Come on! Come on! 」
4 1: An orangutan passed through the Woods and accidentally collected the feces of a gibbon.
The kind orangutan cleaned the ape's feces.
After a while, they fell in love, and people asked how you came together.
The orangutan replied, "It's ape dung (fate)!"
There is a fat man,
Jumping from a tall building,
It turned out to be ...
Fatso.
43: There is a duck named Xiao Huang. One day, when he was crossing the road, he was hit by a car and shouted, "Gung!" Since then, it has become a cucumber ...
44: There is a penguin whose home is very far from the polar bear's. If you walk, it will take 20 years to get there. One day, Penguin stayed at home and was very bored. He was going to play with the polar bear, so he went out, but halfway through the road, he found that he forgot to lock the door. It had been 10 years, but the door still had to be locked, so Penguin went home to lock it. After locking the door, the penguin set out to look for the polar bear again, which means it took him 40 years to get to the polar bear's house ... Then the penguin knocked on the door and said, "Polar bear, polar bear, penguin is looking for you to play!" " And guess what the polar bear said when he opened the door? "Let's go to your house to play ~"
45: The little white rabbit skipped to the bakery and asked, "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?" Boss: "Oh, I'm sorry, not that much." "I see. . 。” The little white rabbit left dejectedly. The next day, the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery. "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?" Boss: "I'm sorry, I still haven't." "I see. . 。” The little white rabbit left dejectedly again. On the third day, the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery. "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?" The boss said happily, "Yes, yes, we have a hundred buns today! ！” The little white rabbit took out the money: "Great, I'll buy two!" "
Xiao Ming said, "Kang, ask you," A shark ate a mung bean, and what did it become? Kang said, "I don't know. What's the answer? Xiao Ming said, "Hey! Hey! The answer is "green bean paste (mung bean shark)", you are stupid! 」
47: The teacher asked a classmate how to reduce white pollution. A: Make the lunch box blue.
48: There was a man who had a bad stomach. One day, he went to the Stomach Hospital and said to the doctor, "I pull whatever I eat, eat watermelon, eat cucumber and pull cucumber!" "The doctor thought about it and said to him," I think you have to eat shit! "
49: On the plane, an air hostess asked a little girl, "Why doesn't the plane hit the stars when it flies so high?" "The little girl replied," I know, because the stars will flash! "
50: There was a polar bear playing with a penguin. The penguin pulled off the hair one by one. After pulling it out, he said to the polar bear, "It's so cold! "When the polar bear heard this, he pulled off his hair one by one and turned to the penguin and said," It's really cold! "
51:Q: What do African cannibals eat?
A: people!
Q: Then one day, the chief was ill and the doctor told him to be a vegetarian. What did he eat?
A: vegetable eater!
52: There are two sausages in the refrigerator. After a long time,
I shook with the sausage. Wow! It's so cold ~
Another sausage said in surprise, huh? You're a sausage. How can you talk?
53: One day,
There is a male deer running faster and faster.
Run to the end,
It becomes a high-speed stag.
54: One day, the teacher took a group of children to the mountain to pick fruit.
She announced: "children, after picking the fruit, we will wash it together, and we can eat it together after washing."
All the children went to pick fruit.
As soon as the gathering time came, all the children gathered.
Teacher: "Xiaohua, what have you got?"
Xiaohua: "I am washing apples because I have picked apples."
Teacher: "What about you, Xiaomei?"
Xiaomei: "I'm washing tomatoes because I picked tomatoes."
Teacher: "The children are great! What about Amin? "
Amin: "I'm washing cloth shoes because I stepped on shit."
55: The teacher asked Xiao Ming a question in class, but Xiao Ming stood up without saying a word.
Teacher: Xiaoming?
Teacher: Xiaoming
Teacher: Xiaoming! What's wrong with you? Do you know the answer or not? At least let me know!
Xiao Ming: Zhi.
56: An elephant asked the camel,' Why do your boobs grow on your back?'
The camel said,' Stay away from death, I don't talk to things with dicks on my face!
57: How to make drinks bigger?
Read the great compassion mantra
58: Xiaoming: What's the temperature today?
Xiaohua: It's 3 degrees below zero!
Xiaoming: No wonder it's so cold.
59: A little boy came home from school and peeped out the window at a woman lying in bed rubbing her chest and shouting, I want a man, I want a man!
The next day, the little boy went out of the window and found a man lying on the woman.
So the little boy went home and lay in bed, rubbing his chest and shouting, I want a bike, I want a bike!
6 1: It is said that there is a polar bear. Because the snow is too dazzling, he has to wear sunglasses to see things.
But he couldn't find sunglasses, so he crawled around on the ground with his eyes closed, crawling and crawling, and climbed his hands and feet dirty to find sunglasses. I put on my sunglasses and looked in the mirror, only to find out: Oh, I am a panda.
62: The science teacher asked: Why is the body cold after death?
No one answered.
The teacher asked again: Does nobody know?
At this time, a classmate stood up and said: that's because the mind is calm and naturally cool.
63: Xiaoming lost a leg in a car accident.
Xiaoming lost another leg in a car accident.
Xiaoming lost his other leg in another car accident.
Xiaoming lost another leg in a car accident.
In fact, Xiaoming is a dog.
64: One day, A, B and C went out to play together, and wandered around the road for a long time.
Later, A said, I'm so bored, I really want to play B.
Then C took a look at A and dragged B into the alley to fight.
65: Three rabbits poop.
The first one is only long.
The second is only spherical.
The third one is actually triangular.
Asked, it answered: I pinched it with my hand.
66: When will Taiwan Province want reunification?
When buying instant noodles
67: One day Xiaoqiang asked his father, "Dad, am I a stupid child?"
Dad said, "Silly boy, how can you be a silly boy?"
68: When Xiao Ming came home, the dog next door suddenly ran out and bit him. He picked up the bamboo and tried to hit it.
When the owner of the dog saw Xiao Ming beating his dog, he said unhappily, It depends on the owner to beat the dog. Haven't you heard of it?
At this time, Xiao Ming said: Good! I will beat your dog while watching you.
69: Bug: Xiaohua, did you use my pencil?
Xiaohua: No, I'm useless.
Bug: Are you really useless?
Xiaohua: I'm so useless!
Bug: Alas, you are the17th person to admit that you are useless.
70: How did the ants die after falling from the Himalayas?
Answer: starved to death. It will take a long time to float down because it is too light …
80: Why do puppies get smaller and smaller?
A: Because it goes further and further.
8 1: Once upon a time, there was a horse! It ran and fell into the sea.
So, it became a "hippocampus"!
Another horse friend of this horse, in order to find the horse that fell into the sea, ended up falling into the river. Later, he became a "hippo".
The third horse is a white one. In order to find two missing friends, it came to a city with chaotic traffic.
It was run over by several cars in a row, leaving several black stripes on its body.
As a result, it became a zebra!
One day, the fourth horse came to a factory to find the companions of the first three, and was transformed into an "iron horse".
But later, those horses could not escape the fate of being eaten, and all of them were made into "Shaqima", and all the horses were spared, becoming a world without horses ...
Then, after seeing this joke, a group of people couldn't help saying, "The horse is really cold.".
Finally, in order to commemorate this joke, someone edited it into a class, and we called it "Marseille class"!
82: Xiaoming owed 200,000 yuan to the underground bank, and Xiaoming begged him for a few more days.
The person in the bank said: Be sure to return it tomorrow, otherwise ... chop off two fingers;
The day after tomorrow ..., chop 4; On the third day ...
Xiaoming: Do you need to return it?
Banker: NO, you will become a tinker bell.
85: A hunter went hunting with his hounds, and wandered in the Woods all day without any prey.
It was dark, but he kept riding in the Woods.
The horse suddenly said,' You don't even let me rest. You want to kill me! ？’
The hunter was startled when he heard this, and immediately rolled down from his horse, pulling the hounds and running away. When he ran to a big tree for breath, the dogs patted his chest and said to him,' You scared me to death, horses can talk!'
So the hunter was scared to death on the spot.
87: One day A picked out a mirror and looked at it. People here are so familiar.
B said; Is it? Let me see (taking the mirror), me! You don't even know me?
Once upon a time, there was a white cat and a black cat.
one day
The white cat fell into the water.
The black cat saved it.
The white cat said a word to the black cat
Q: What is this sentence?
"Meow"
90: A: "Do you know what I was doing in the Internet cafe last night?"
B: "What are you doing?"
A: "Go online;"
B：“……”
9 1: Two flies go to eat.
The younger asks the older: Brother, why do we eat shit every day?
The big one said, don't say such disgusting things when eating! !
92: in the grass boat
Lu Su: "Is it really possible to borrow arrows in this way? Mr. Kong Ming? "
Zhuge Liang: "Trust me."
Lu Su: "But I'm still a little worried ..."
Zhuge Liang: "There is no need."
Lu Su: "But don't you think it's getting hotter and hotter in the boat?"
Zhuge Liang: "It's a little inconvenient to say so … is there anything wrong?"
Lu Su: "Yes, I'm afraid the enemy is shooting a rocket ..."
Zhuge Liang: "Hey! ? Zi Jing, can you swim? I can't. "
93: A monkey should stuff peanuts before eating them.
The administrator explained: Someone once fed it peaches,
As a result, the peach stone could not be pulled out, and the monkey was scared. Now, it is necessary to measure it before eating.
94: In order to prevent patients from escaping, the hospital set up a 100 road, and two mental patients still wanted to escape from the hospital. Work hard at night
Over the wall. Under the 30th wall,
"Are you tired?"
"Not tired." So the two continued to turn outwards.
Under the 60th wall,
"Are you tired?"
"Not tired." So the two of them continued to turn outwards.
Under the 99th wall,
"Are you tired?"
"Tired"
"Well, let's go back."
95: Xiaoming: At a certain stream, four boys, Dabao, Daxiong, Dazhi and Dawei, stripped naked and played with water.
Suddenly someone electrocuted the fish by the stream, and all four boys were electrocuted! Guess an electrical appliance.
Kang: Hmm ... I don't know ~
Xiao Ming: The answer is "TV" (electric four chickens)! Hey hey!
96: Xiao Luo: Dad, why do we have humps?
Camel Dad: Because there is no water in the desert, only a hump can store water!
Xiao Luo: Dad, why do we have long hair?
Camel dad: Because there is a big sandstorm in the desert, we have to rely on it to stop the sandstorm before we can see it!
Xiao Luo: Dad, why do we have thick hooves?
Camel dad: Because the desert is full of sand, so we can stand firm!
Xiao Luo: Dad, one last question, what are we doing in the zoo?
97: The hen is hatching eggs, and an egg comes out of its ass.
Hen: "What are you doing?"
Egg: "Your fart stinks ..."
98: There is a person whose name is Du Ziteng.
Asked the teacher when he called the roll.
"Where's Du Ziteng?"
The classmate said, "He has a stomachache."
99: My girlfriend asked me to go to her house to see a movie. When we got to her house,
She wrote the word' movie' on the wall with a pen.
The two of us sat on the toilet and watched it.
100: One morning, an officer known for his strictness asked the morning soldier, "Are you cold?"
Xiaobing replied: "It's not cold!"
The officer was annoyed: "Then why are you trembling?"
10 1: A pig went on the road. It came to a crossroads and was killed by a car. Why?
Because pigs don't make sharp turns.
The last thing that barbecue wants to happen.
1 the meat is cooked with you
2 charcoal playing cold
3 clams are autistic
4 barbecue rack split
5 kindling has no seeds
6 meat and shelves engage in small groups
7 sausage meat plays gangster with you
8 black wheel flat tire
9 onions play dumb with you
10 corn will play hardball with you
The funniest 15 joke in the world.
1 5 yuan was kidnapped by a criminal gang, so call the hundred-dollar bill:
"hey! Your son is here, if you don't want us to kill the ticket, you will exchange yourself for him! "
The hundred-dollar bill thought for a moment and said:
"Tear it, tear you up and you won't even have five dollars!"
A man was starving in the desert when he found the magic lamp.
Magic lamp: "I can only realize your one wish. Come on, I'm in a hurry."
Man: "I want a wife ..."
The magic lamp immediately conjured up a beautiful woman, and then said disdainfully, "I'm starving and still covet beauty!" Pathetic! " Then he disappeared.
Man: "... cake."
The earthworm family was bored this day, so the little earthworm cut himself into two pieces and played badminton.
Mother earthworm thought this method was good, so she cut herself into four sections and played mahjong.
Father earthworm thought about it and cut himself into minced meat.
Mother earthworm cried and said, "why are you so stupid?" You will die if you cut it so badly! "
Father earthworm said weakly, "... I suddenly want to play football."
4 panda male wants QJ panda female, and panda female struggles to resist and swears to death.
After the failure, Panda Man said angrily, "We are all going extinct!"
The tortoise and the rabbit race ... The rabbit quickly ran to the front ...
The tortoise saw a snail crawling very slowly ... and said to him, Come up and I'll carry you ...
And then ... the snail came up ...
After a while ... The tortoise saw an ant again ... and said to him, Come up, too ...
So the ants came up.
When the ant came up ... he saw the snail on it ... and said to him, Hello.
Do you know what the snail said?
Snail said: hurry up, this turtle is so fast ...
There is a man and a woman having dinner.
The girl kept asking the boy: Do you love me?
The boy glanced at the girl and went on eating dinner.
The girl was very angry and asked again: Do you love me or not?
The boy finally said: love!
The girl asked again: then how do you prove it?
Suddenly the boy took thirty yuan out of his pocket.
And ask the girl: Do you have ten yuan?
The girl gave ten yuan to the boy ...
Boys put forty yuan on the table.
After a while ...
The girl is very angry and asks the boy: Do you want to prove that you love me?
The boy said: I have proved it! Forty is in front of you!
7 Yitian Shopping Snack Street
Found a shop selling egg towers
Each one looks very delicious. I want to buy one and try it.
I asked the clerk: Is this for sale alone?
Shop assistant: No, it's Japanese.
One day, a family caught fire.
Both father and mother escaped, leaving only one son in it.
Mom was very nervous outside shouting:
"Son, what are you doing? You're still on fire!"
The son replied, "I'm wearing socks ..."
Mom added, "What socks to wear when there is a fire ..."
After five minutes, my son hasn't come out yet. ......
Mother shouted nervously, "Son, what are you doing?"? Come out, there is a fire, and stay inside ... "
The son said, "I'm taking off my socks ..."
9. A man went fishing by the river
First he wore a leaf ~ no fish took the bait for a long time, and then he changed a piece of bread ~ no fish took the bait for a long time ~
He had no choice but to change the earthworm ~ and there was still no fish for a long time ~ ~
In his anger, he took out 100rmb and fell into the water and cursed:
"What do you want to eat? Buy it yourself! ! ! ！ ”
10, a German, a Frenchman and a Japanese are going to work in the mine.
The boss is an American. He said to the Germans: You have a good physique and you are in charge of coolies.
Say to the French: You said you were an engineer and you were in charge of the mining plan.
And to the Japanese, he said: You are very thin. You are in charge of supplies.
Then every other week, they start to work.
A few days later, the Germans and the French found that the Japanese had disappeared. After searching for a long time, they decided to go back to work first.
When the Germans started to work, the Japanese suddenly jumped out and shouted:
「 Surprise! 」
1 1 "I can't see things too far away," the patient said to the ophthalmologist.
"Please come with me," the doctor took the patient outside and pointed to the sun in the sky. "What do you think that is?"
"the sun." The patient replied.
"Then how far do you want to see!"
12, one day the animals smelled a terrible smell in front of Guan Gong Temple.
The snake said: I am too young to fart so smelly. It must be a cow.
The cow said: I eat grass and I won't fart so smelly.
The pig said: People who fart will blush.
Suddenly Guan Gong rushed out, beat the pig away and said, How many times have I said, I was born blushing.
13 A man met God one day.
God suddenly had a heart to give that man a wish.
God asked:
Do you have any wishes?
The man wanted to think:
I heard that cats have nine lives.
Then please give me nine lives!
God said:
Your wish came true ...
One day, the man was bored ...
Want to say die die ...
There are nine lives anyway
Lying on the tracks ...
As a result, a train passed by ...
The man is still dead ...
Why is this?
Because the car of that train has 10 section ...
14 One day, three people came from the funeral home. Strangely enough, their smiles after death were all _ ......
The funeral home manager was puzzled and asked pol.ice: Why would their faces be _ after death?
Pol.ice said: It's ... It's a long story ... Look at the man on the left ... He was in spring night with his wife ... at the most passionate moment ... he couldn't stand to die.
The administrator replied, Alas ... I wish I could die under the flowers ... Being a ghost is also romantic ... How did the middle one die?
Pol.ice: The one in the middle ... Oh, he ... is really a human tragedy ... He was walking on the road ... and suddenly he heard that he had won the lottery ... with a prize of more than 700 million yuan. ..
When he laughed happily ... he was hit by an oncoming car ... and died. ......
The administrator replied: Alas ..... he really didn't have the fortune to enjoy the rest of his life ... What about the rest?
Pol.ice: ... It's a bit pitiful for this one to die ... He was hacked to death by lightning while climbing a tree.
The administrator replied: ..... This is a bit wrong. Why do you laugh when you are struck by lightning? ......
Pol.ice said: Because he climbed the tree and thought ... suddenly there was a flash of lightning. ......
He thought ..... someone was taking pictures of him. ......
15 Thousands of years ago, both male and female dogs used to squat when urinating.
It was not until the Tang Dynasty that things changed ...
Everyone has heard of Emperor Taizong! His old man's house kept a pair of Beijing dogs. Once, Emperor Taizong went to Huashan to sacrifice to heaven and took the pair to ...
Halfway through the sacrifice, the bitch suddenly felt anxious, so she ran behind a tree to solve it.
It was a very disrespectful act when offering sacrifices to heaven, which angered the jade emperor.
The jade emperor ordered tripterygium wilfordii to hit a thunder, which hit the tree just right. The tree fell down and killed the bitch. After seeing it, the male dog was very scared.
From then on, every time the male dog urinates under the tree, he will put out a foot and push against the tree hard to prevent the tree from falling down and crushing himself ...
PS: There are too many contents to send out ~ ~ to/view/11/kloc-0.html? Wtp=tt. look.