At this time, what is most needed is the care and warmth of relatives and friends.

Understanding, comfort, and encouragement are often more important and valuable than money and material help at such times.

But things often backfire. The more times like this, the more people dislike them. A cold look or a cold word from a relative or friend can often break a man's heart like a knife.

No one can guarantee a smooth life, and everyone has bad luck sometimes.

These are nothing. In fact, most people will have to go through such difficulties several times in their lives.

The key is not to lose confidence and courage, but to regain confidence, start over, and get up from where you fell. ,

Where does this confidence come from? Love and encouragement from family and friends.

If a man feels that even his closest relatives despise him and look down on him,

If he feels that he is no longer needed, if he feels that he is looked down upon by his relatives. ,

How could he still have the confidence to get up and start again.

When people are in trouble, they are particularly vulnerable and sensitive.

More understanding, comfort and encouragement, and less boredom and disdain are actually the best help to him.

Gu Long said something like this, which I think makes sense -

A woman should help a man, not just to help him fight to the death, but also to make the man feel, He is not looked down upon by others, he is needed by others, and he is this woman's biggest support!

Women who can understand this sentence will probably have a happy life.

I have personal experience when a man is at his lowest. First, you need to put aside the so-called mentality of saving face and striving for success, and relearn skills to start a new job. Second, you must have the understanding and support of your family, especially your wife, which is the most important.

I am 44 years old this year. When I was 34 years old, it can be said that from heaven to earth, my company went bankrupt and I was burdened with debt. At that time, the couple had high ambitions and low intentions, which led to the discord between the couple. Then he couldn't lose his dignity and went to work in Beijing. A former owner of a small business worked as a worker in a small factory for 2 years. After returning home, he ended up getting divorced.

After I came back, I opened a small parallel import clothing store for a year. At that time, I could still manage my food and clothing. Later, I met a friend and went to learn project supervision from him. He was said to be a supervisor, but he was actually a handyman and errand boy, earning 2,000 yuan a month. I gave up after one year. At that time, I didn’t have a penny on my mobile phone, I had a daughter with me, and I didn’t have a house or a car. I am 38 years old this year.

This year I met my current wife. She also just came back from working in other places. My classmate introduced me to her. She said that whatever you want to do, just learn some skills. She will pay for your living expenses during your studies and your children's expenses. The turning point came, and I still engaged in the study of engineering materials and simple engineering design for supervision projects that I had given up. In the second year, because my friend worked in a supervision company, I personally received some engineering materials (in fact, most of the engineering materials in this industry are young people, and I am very old). The annual income was about 100,000, and after 3 to 4 years I now have my own company, which mainly engages in project measurement and planning and design of small projects, but no longer does data processing. The annual income is 30 to 40. I bought a car in 2017 and bought a house with a down payment of 800,000 in 2019.

When people are at a low point, they must put down their dignity, and must not rush for success or aim too high. Communicate well with your lover, ask him to give you some time, and at the same time give her hope.

A truly strong man also has strong resilience. When a man is at his poorest and most depressed, it is never because he has no money, nor is it because he is heavily in debt. Things related to money are not things. What really makes a man despair is that the people he fought so hard to protect, the loved ones he was not afraid of life and death to protect, just add insult to injury and leave in a blink of an eye.

Even a tough man can't bear the reality of betrayal and separation. The person who hurts him the most is often the person he trusts the most. When the person he loves is also thinking deeply, weighing the pros and cons, and finally giving up; when he has a home and cannot return and is desperate; when the person he cares about runs away from him, This is when a man enters his true trough.

When men are the poorest and most downcast, what they need most is care. All failures and setbacks are just starting over. Lost family property, money, status, fame and fortune... these can all be recovered through another struggle. And what he lost in the setback, the heart that was devastated by his true love, had long been reduced to ashes. The mental blow and damage can never be repaired. Although the past is unbearable to look back on, it is always uncontrollable, with a sting that surges like a tide. In the waves of turbulent pain, a person will truly understand that there is nothing that cannot be let go. What you can't let go of has already been let go by others. Although you can't believe it, you are really not as important in the minds of others as you think.

When a man is at his poorest and most miserable. All pain comes from the burden on the soul. Only adjusting our mentality is the most important thing. Since no one cares about you, since you have nothing, since you are not even afraid of death, then what do you care about? After experiencing heart-wrenching pain. You will find that your heart is getting stronger and stronger; you will become stronger and stronger; when others do not care about your life or death, you will find how wonderful it is to live, as long as you live, it is enough! After experiencing rebirth from the ashes, you completely understand: The only way out is for a person to constantly strive for self-improvement, have self-respect and love, and rely on oneself. Almost everyone has abandoned you. You no longer ask for help from outside, but you vow to be like Gou Jian, the king of Yue, who will endure hardships, know your shame and then be brave.

A man is at his poorest and most destitute. Don't have extravagant hopes or wait for others' charity and sympathy, and wake up from the pain as soon as possible. As Balzac said: "Frustration and misfortune are the steps for genius to advance, and they are the bottomless abyss for the weak." The reason why a successful person is successful is that when he and others are in adversity, others have lost confidence but he is determined to achieve his goals. Frustration can create a strong person. In the face of adversity, whether you continue to move forward or never recover depends entirely on yourself. If you are a real man, put down all your baggage and stand up! In fact, setbacks are not terrible. What is terrible is the lack of courage and determination to overcome them. Let those who have failed you know that they have failed themselves. All the lost people remember: "Success is the sweetest revenge"!

When you are the poorest, most depressed, and your career is at a low point, but you still have someone who never leaves you, then this person is your lifelong wealth, and you must be grateful to him at all costs! Gorky once said: "A quiet lake cannot produce capable sailors, and a comfortable life cannot produce great men of the times." How much suffering you can endure, how much you can achieve. To live, we need to survive tenaciously and struggle unyieldingly. Failure and setbacks are our ladder to success. Poverty, abjection, trough...all sufferings are tests for a successful person.

I think I am very qualified to talk about this issue: I was just 39 years old and was kicked out of my employer for my own reasons. I asked my friends to drag the relationship down, but I still couldn't keep my job. At that time, I still owed more than 200,000 yuan in foreign debt. My ex-wife blamed and complained, and my parents didn't understand me. I was worried. I was also covered in hair at the time, and I didn't know what to do in the future. Fortunately, I am delicious. I learned how to make brine from the cook in the cafeteria. Finally, my sister supported and reminded me to go out and sell Guilin rice noodles. Then I went out to sell rice noodles at a street stall and sold them by myself. It took 2 years. In the third year, I finally rented a storefront and ran it steadily. But too many things have happened in the past two years. My ex-wife complained too much, disliked me, and looked down on me. She left me when I needed support the most and fell into the arms of others. She left me with two children and forced me to give her 100,000 yuan. I lost my youth, but my parents gradually supported me and understood me. My sister also silently supported me from behind. Now I have got out of the predicament, no more worries, and my debts have been paid off. I am just very annoyed. Why did my ex-wife want to break up her family with her own hands?

Why don't we learn to be concentric as husband and wife, which can cut through metal, and don't yearn for good positive energy? After a few years, life will be different, okay? Therefore, when a man is at his lowest point, I will always remember this sentence, a person can always live a different life until he dies. The greatest happiness in this life is to have good parents and a good sister. Thank you for never leaving me. I hope all the good men in the world will not give up on themselves and work hard for the future.

It requires backbone, courage, perseverance, confidence, a clear mind, and the understanding and support of your loved ones!

What I need most is the support of my family. It is important to reduce anxiety and maintain confidence to start over and get out of the trough.

When I was at my poorest, I couldn’t find a job after I resigned from a state-owned enterprise. Before I resigned, I had saved two months’ salary, which was 4,000 yuan. Apart from that, my only asset was It was a Nokia 3210 mobile phone (luckily I still had one, and I relied on it to survive as a salesman). I thought to myself that if I could persist for two months, I would definitely find a job.

As a result, I seriously overestimated myself. At the beginning, I rented two bedrooms and one living room in a family building in a hospital for 700 yuan a month. I shared one of the rooms with others for 350 yuan a month. That was in 2003. After renting it for one season, I couldn’t afford to renew it.

Because I have no education, no skills, and no experience, I can’t do anything except build roads, but I don’t want to go back to the construction site again. I couldn't find a job, so I had to move to a cheaper place. I found an illegally built house on the rooftop of the ninth floor built by laid-off workers from the steel factory. It was just a circle of bricks covered with an asbestos tile, two rooms in front of the door. We also fenced a field with bricks and planted some vegetables. There was a decoration worker living next door with a five or six-year-old child. We didn't have much communication. They also had a TV in their house. The walls were not soundproof, so we could hear everything clearly. What I remember most clearly is, Lang, Lang, don’t be too busy. I thought to myself, what the hell is this guy so busy with? He can’t even afford to eat. Chongqing in July and August is so sour. It’s basically three o’clock. It was too hot to sleep before midnight.

I didn’t take any pictures at the time, so I found a picture on the Internet. It was probably this kind of environment, even more shabby than this one. There is nothing else in the room except a bed, a table, an electric fan and a light bulb. To take a shower, you have to pour water from a bucket on the roof. The rent plus water and electricity is 150 yuan per month, and that’s all. I couldn't afford it, so I went home very late and went out very early every day. On the one hand, I was so anxious that I couldn't sleep. On the other hand, I wanted to avoid the landlord. He probably came to me several times, and finally put a note on my door to demand rent. .

When I think about it now, that house really looks like the TV series "The Hidden Corner". It is not far below the Jialing River Bridge, in a corner of the center of this bustling metropolis but no one knows about it.

One day, the child next door picked up a puppy from nowhere. When he picked it up, he didn’t feed it and kicked it around. It couldn’t escape on its own because it was on the rooftop of the ninth floor. There was an iron door between us, and the dog would howl on the rooftop at night. I had no choice but to carry him to my room, buy him instant noodles, ham sausage, and bring him something like this every day when I came back from outside. At that time, I didn’t even know there was such a thing as dog food. I couldn’t afford it even if I knew it, and I didn’t know how to feed it some milk or something. I thought that if I had instant noodles and ham sausage, wouldn’t I be able to survive as long as I didn’t lack water?

One night half a month later, I came back and found it lying hard at the door of my room. Not to mention the smell, it felt very much like myself. This was the only thing I had with me in this city. A life of emotional connection. I dug a hole on the roof where the landlord grew vegetables and buried it. Oh, don't mention it. Now that I think about it, I feel like I owe it. A few days ago, it started to stagger when walking, as if it was drunk. Now that I think about it, it is actually caused by malnutrition and hypoglycemia. I don’t dare to feed the dog now because I’m afraid that I won’t be able to shoulder that responsibility and that trust.

I couldn't sleep at night, so I sat alone on the roof of the building, looking at the Yuzhong Peninsula and the bridge on the opposite side of the road. I really don't know when I will have a place in this city. Where is my future? There is no answer, but the only thing I know clearly is that returning to the construction site is definitely not the answer, so no matter what, I have to survive in this city, as long as I don't starve to death, I will move slowly. The feeling of sitting on the rooftop is the mood of this picture.

Whether I went out to find a job or wandered around every day, I walked back until the lights in the city were about to go out. I walked through an abandoned factory area from Guanyin Bridge. There were no street lights and no people. At that time, The land has not yet been developed, it is about one kilometer long, and it is a dark mud road. During those few months, except for calling and visiting customers during the day, I hardly talked to anyone at other times. I had no friends or relatives. My friend, I am fighting alone in this city.

Don’t take the artistic conception picture seriously.

At that time, a bowl of Chongqing noodles was only 1 yuan for 50 yuan. I only had two bowls of noodles or one egg fried rice every day. It could be said that it could only be used to maintain vital signs, and the extra energy was not input at all.

I basically walk within five stops of the bus, because I get up early and come back late, so I have plenty of time. I go out to look for jobs during the day, buy a copy of Talent Information Weekly, and go to interviews all over the world. Go to the bookstore to read and enjoy the air conditioning until the bookstore closes. Apart from necessary survival expenses such as meals, the only expense is surfing the Internet in Internet cafes, mainly to find a job and search for company information. Sometimes I spend ten yuan to hang out in an Internet cafe all night.

In the end, I was really out of options. Seeing that I was really running out of ammunition and food, I had to accept a job as a salesperson without a basic salary, selling an advertisement for Chongqing's tepid weekly "Rebao" In business, the commission is quite high, 25. I treat a dead horse like a living horse. I either go back to the construction site and continue digging, or I grit my teeth and persevere. It was during that time that I read the book "Parchment - The Greatest Salesman in the World". I followed the method in the book to make a schedule. I worked from dawn to dusk for a month, and it really worked. I was so hungry that I actually placed an order. The principal of a vocational training school was impressed by my persistence and decided to give me a job. Opportunity, try it for a month, 6,000 yuan, four pages of banner ads, my commission is 1,500. On the day I signed the contract, I asked the advertising agency to advance my commission. Not to mention that 1,500 is more useful, it is more than 100,000 a month. There is a sense of satisfaction, because it feels like a person who has been splashing in the water for a long time and is about to sink to the bottom grabs a lifebuoy. In addition to allowing me to breathe a little easier and be able to hold on for a few more months, this money also gave me a huge benefit. Confidence, for the first time, I had the confidence to survive in a city without relying on anyone.

I knew I could gain a foothold in this city, and things became easier and simpler later on. In view of the rapid decline of newspaper media, and the lack of influence and circulation of that newspaper, that company After one month in school, my visa was not renewed, and I also switched careers to an Internet company, doing sales work in online advertising. I learned technology while doing sales, and gradually became a freelancer. I worked from home for more than ten years, and until three years ago Start a business and have your own platform.

Looking back, I am actually very lucky to have experienced such a difficult time. At least I am lucky to have experienced it when I was young. If I have to suffer a severe beating in life, the sooner the better, because The sooner you get into better shape, the better you can withstand it. If you experience something like this again in middle age, you may not be able to bear it anymore.

In fact, life does not often have such embarrassment. It is just like if you have been holding your breath once, when you encounter this kind of situation again later, you can hold it in longer than others. When you encounter an economic crisis, others can't bear it, but you can still endure it for a while. If others don't want to do things because they don't have enough money, you won't feel like they don't have enough money and still do it with gusto, because you have experienced worse days, so you are more willing to do them. Easily satisfied, cherished and grateful, in fact, this is competitiveness.

Later, I got everything I wanted when I was building roads on the construction site, and everything I wanted when I lived on the rooftop, and it far exceeded my expectations at the time. As a saying goes As the saying goes: When the raindrops fall, they don’t know which route they will take to merge into the river, but they will eventually merge into the river and run to the sea. The same is true for people. If you want something enough and are willing to pay any price for it, you will eventually have it. You can find a hundred ways to achieve it. As you just said, if people know what they live for, then they will have it. Can endure any kind of life. How can our little idea of ??working hard for our personal lives be called great? The price we paid was less than one-tenth or one-hundredth of those great men.

I’m not making chicken soup. I really suggest that young people experience more difficulties and setbacks when they are young, because at this time, the sunk costs and trial and error costs are the lowest, and they can afford to lose the most, because anyway You have nothing, and you have nothing to be afraid of losing. Why not give it a try and live a more exciting life? When you enter middle age or even old age, you will not feel that your life is ordinary and insignificant. This is a huge investment. wealth.

To put it bluntly, when you survive and succeed, you will even regret why it was not harder, more exciting, and more ups and downs in the first place, because only in this way can your plot be exciting enough, and There is also an illusion that the more hardships you experience when you are young, the greater your achievements and wealth will be later, so you will regret why you did not bravely challenge greater difficulties in the first place. Because, when you cross that hurdle, as time goes by, you will find that the difficulty that was suffocating you at the time is just bullshit.

There is a passage in "Cai Gen Tan" that I would like to share with you:

If you are tempted and endure your anger, you will be poor but strong-willed.

Adverse poverty is a hammer that trains heroes. If you can be exercised by it, your body and mind will benefit; if you are not exercised, your body and mind will be harmed.

Notes

①Hengni: disaster, disaster. :: ②Hero: Refers to a talented person.

③ Furnace hammer: temper, the meaning of tempering.

Translation

Disaster and poverty are like a furnace and a hammer that temper heroes. If you can withstand the temper, you will definitely gain something; if you can't stand the temper, your body and mind will be seriously harmed.

In the face of poverty and shock, you may not be able to escape or choose, but you can decide what kind of mentality you will use to experience it. Different mentality will bring completely different results.

Back to the topic, what do men need to do when they are poor and destitute? Combining my own personal experience with the more than two years I have been working as an educator, I have taught thousands of students. They all had similar starting points. When they found me, they were basically at the bottom of society, just like when I couldn’t find a job. They are at the same stage. They need technology but not technology, they need education but not academic qualifications, they need family but not family, and they need money but not money. However, after one year of development, they have shown a huge difference. After my long-term observation, I found that those who do Those who have achieved outstanding results and have an annual income of more than 200,000 yuan have several unique characteristics:

1. The first is courage.

I now feel that this is more important than ability, and has nothing to do with academic qualifications or ability.

Courage means having the courage to bear consequences, being able to seize opportunities and take certain risks, not being entangled, not worrying about gains and losses, not being afraid of being hesitant or going back on your word.

To put it simply, it means that people are very refreshing, very happy, clean and crisp, and not sloppy.

People with higher incomes are more decisive, and those students who do not do well are the opposite without exception.

The reason why I can go from being a road construction worker to earning seven figures a year as a freelancer is not because of how smart or capable I am. I think I still have the courage to give up the establishment of a state-owned enterprise. illustrates this point.

2. Strong self-motivation.

I found that the people with the strongest earning power are the ones who ask me the least technical questions, because they all have very strong self-motivation. As long as they can do it themselves, they don’t bother others, you just give it to them. Just point the way. If he encounters small rocks or ditches on the road, he will handle them himself. They know how to solve problems with the help of search, which is very similar to me.

On the contrary, the person who asked the most questions never took a step forward. It is no exaggeration to say that the student who asked the most questions asked more questions than the 50 people with strong learning ability, but still could not give him any answers. confidence. Those students with strong self-motivation came in late but ran far away, while students with poor self-motivation came in early but did not dare to go out.

There is no doubt that I am also a person with strong self-motivation. All the choices and decisions I make are the result of independent thinking, and the various skills I later acquired are all through Self-taught, I have never had a master, and I rely entirely on continuous self-driven learning with the help of search engines.

A courageous and self-motivated person is unstoppable. Like a persevering hunter, he will eventually capture his target.

The Gospel of Matthew says that to anyone who has, give him double, and from whatever he lacks, take away the remainder. Students who do well don’t bother to find a job at all. They are confident and have ways to persuade employers to accept freelance work, and the fees paid are higher than full-time work.

On the contrary, those who just want to find a job worth a few thousand dollars can’t even keep a job. This is the Matthew effect of the 80-20 rule.

Go and observe if this is also the case in life? The more disdainful a person is about work, the less likely he is to worry about work, and the more he cares about a job to make ends meet, the more unstable his job will be. Their essential differences lie in initiative and passivity, decisiveness and entanglement, confidence and inferiority.

The more people are in a state of embarrassment and scarcity, the less they can be procrastinating and the more they need to be bold and determined. Being indecisive and worrying about gains and losses will only lead to stagnating in the same place and being unable to get out of trouble for a long time. The more one has nothing, the more valuable one’s spiritual power is. People can starve and endure the winter, but if the spiritual world collapses, it will be really difficult to stand up. Retreating or moving forward is often a matter of one thought, but the road ahead is also a world of difference.

Don’t do small evils and ignore small good things.

If you want to do things on the road, don't be afraid of the difficulties.

Once you get involved, you will go deep into the world;

If you want to deal with the things on the road, don't worry about the difficulties. A little step back,

A step back and you are thousands of miles away.

Don't do something bad just because it does little harm.

Don't do something good just because it has little reward.

Don’t do things related to desires just because it brings fun and pleasure, because once you start, it will be difficult to end, and in the end you will get deeper and deeper, unable to extricate yourself and never recover; Proceed from reason and when you encounter something that is good for your body and mind, don't quit easily because of difficulties. Otherwise, it will become increasingly difficult to achieve. If you take a step back, you may miss the opportunity for success forever.

People are the masters of their own destiny. If you have a dream, chase it. Don’t seek comfort from anyone. One day you will thank yourself for moving forward bravely. Mature people do not die gloriously for a great cause. But live a humble life for a great cause.

I hope every friend who is in a trough can gain strength, turn stumbling blocks into stepping stones, and walk out of his own world.

"When men are at their poorest, most depressed, and at the lowest point in their career," what they need most is confidence and perseverance. Believe in your own abilities, intelligence, and self-control; believe that "troughs" are just the starting point of success, not the end; believe that the darkest moment in the sky is the moment when dawn is about to come; believe that God deliberately tests men, not destroys them. For men, all difficulties and obstacles are temporary and will eventually pass. The eagle flies low just to fly higher, and it will definitely be able to fly higher. "Perseverance" is the endurance and persistence based on self-confidence. It is the embodiment of a man's willpower and the outstanding characteristic that makes a man called a "man".

Because men are born conquerors. However, to conquer poverty and abjection, you must first conquer your own cowardice, otherwise, you will be a man in vain. There is a novel called "Real People". Its protagonist is Alexei, a pilot in the former Soviet Union. He lost his legs in the anti-fascist battle, but with amazing perseverance, he used prosthetic limbs to exercise and practice flying skills, and finally set up his plane again to participate in the battle. It can be seen that in front of a real man, there is no obstacle that cannot be overcome. Therefore, no matter how much grievance, pain and disaster a man encounters, he must adhere to confidence and perseverance. In this way, the final success must belong to real men, while failure does not belong to men.

Everyone’s life will be different. Some people have a smooth life, and some people have a rough life. Some people have experienced strong winds and waves. A life of ups and downs. There are also people who encounter the most difficult times in their lives. I chose to escape life. But no matter what, those who can survive strong winds and waves. Those who can continually withstand the test of failure. You will eventually become a strong person in life. Become a pillar of society. Celebrities throughout the ages have experienced ups and downs, setbacks and failures and then stood up and became great men. For example, the now successful Lei Jun, Jack Ma, Ren Zhengfei, Liu Qiangdong, etc., Steve Jobs, etc.

When a man is at his poorest and most miserable, the most important thing is to have full confidence in the future. No difficulty can stop you from realizing your dreams. In the most difficult times, men should consider how to survive the trough period and wait for the opportunity to make a comeback. Lead your team to achieve success. Reach the highest realm of life. Live your dreams. Isn’t it like this when looking at Jack Ma’s growth history?

This is the situation for me now. It was the eldest daughter who said, "You come to the city to take your children to school, and don't stay home alone in a daze." The low mood suddenly disappeared.