The jokes in the novel are classic (popular) 1. Drinking with a buddy, we have known each other for more than ten years. Drinking and talking about a leader, I said that this leader is good, and the elders at home always praise him. The elder brothers were silent for a while and said four words? Is that my dad? . I was like a god to ask a sentence. Dear dad? My buddy drank a little too much, hesitated for a while, and said with uncertainty. I think so. It's been called for 30 years.
2. The bus was overloaded, and the passengers were still rushing up. Suddenly, I heard a man shouting loudly: Don't crowd, I have explosives here! ? The driver was frightened: What explosive? ! ? The man raised a bag of things over his head and said angrily, Eggs! They're both bursting! ?
3. once the university guards raided the electric stove, which woke everyone up. The corridor was crowded with people and the crowd was angry. The security teacher bowed all the way out and kept explaining:? No way, school rules! I really can't help it! ? Ten minutes later, he came back with a group of security guards, showing off: Who? Who was that just now?
My wife is pregnant with twins and has a big belly. Once we were eating out, a little boy was pregnant, too. He kept watching us. After a while, finally he couldn't help running over, pointing to his wife's stomach, and then looking at his own, he said anxiously, Aunt, don't eat any more!
5. Q: If a bonzi player and a British referee fall into the water at the same time, which one do you want to kill first? God replied: decisively electrify the water!
6. When I went to eat KFC, my mother at the next table was angry with her newspaper: "Chen Ruolin is only 20 years old, and she has been a two-time Olympic champion, and won four gold medals. You are also 20 years old, and you are still failing the exam, and you have failed more than one subject. You have to make up lessons during the holiday, and you have to skip classes to make up lessons!" The girl shrank as she listened. Until:? Tell me, what are your advantages over others? ! ? She replied weakly, "Can I eat two buckets of the whole family by myself?"
7. Last week, I went to a theme amusement park, which was the most exciting Zeus roller coaster in the amusement park. At the entrance, Zeus stood there, and every visitor had to pass under his crotch. Almost everyone looked up at Zeus when they got under Zeus? Before we went there, we speculated about the color of Zeus' underwear, and when we arrived, we found out. Designer, you absolutely forced it on purpose, right?
8. Chatting with a classmate, he said that his father would take paid leave whenever he encountered bad weather, rain, snow and hail. I said it was a good job. Later, I learned that his father drives a sprinkler.
9. I called my mother today to report a big news: Mom, he and I won't be boyfriend and girlfriend anymore. Before I finished, the other end of the phone was connected: I finally breathed a sigh of relief. I never dared to tell you that he looks really awkward! ? Shit, I was gonna say we're getting married?
10. A girl in the shopping mall weighed herself on the intelligent computer, but only heard the computer say:? Your height ... weight ... figure is thin, please pay attention to nutrition! ? After my girlfriend saw it, she had to stand up and try it. After standing for a long time, the computer suddenly prompted: Please line up, one by one! ?
The jokes in the novel are classic (classic) 1. One day, A Dai was drinking in a restaurant with five friends and came home drunk. He said to his wife: It's a little weird today. Six people drink, and only five people propose a toast to me. I wonder if we have offended that? The wife was angry and funny, and said, It's probably A Dai. ? A Dai nodded and said:? This name sounds familiar, it should be him! ?
2. The most shocking sentence I heard today was: "This soy sauce Lamian Noodles is so salty that my plasma wall is separated."
3. wife:? Say, am I pretty? Husband:? Of course, it's more beautiful than anyone! ? Wife:? But when we got married, my mother only received a few hundred dollars as a bride price. You say, what does this mean? Husband:? Explain that it is cheap and good! ?
4. In the afternoon, I went to the park to play. There were several sculptures of bronze horses in the park. On that day, I was exposed to the sun ~ I was happy to play with my children. Here came a father and son. The son was not very old, and he was still wearing open-backed pants. When the father raised his son and directly pressed it on the bronze horse that had been exposed to the sun for a day, the child cried instantly. At this time, the father took out his digital camera and said to the child? Baby, don't cry, have fun, okay? Uncle, if your crotch is ripe, can you be happy? ...
The baby is born. Every night at midnight, the baby always cries, and my wife always wakes me up. Get up, honey, and go and see why the baby is crying. Later, I used the method introduced in the book to let the baby sleep quietly. But at midnight, my wife woke me up again: Get up, honey, and see why the baby doesn't cry.
6. I went to work in the morning and watched my neighbor's beautiful dog walk back. The dog limped and thought that I finally had a chance to chat up the beautiful woman, so I asked a stupid question, what happened to your dog's leg, and then, there was no more. . .
7. At present, the most fair event for referees in the London Olympic Games is shooting, probably because all the players have guns in their hands.
8. My baby daughter went to kindergarten, and everything was fine except for some grievances on the first day. As a result, on the third day, the teacher called to complain. At the same time, some children who go to nursery school still don't adapt, crying for their mothers. The teacher coaxed around and gradually quieted down. My baby has been watching the fun. As soon as the children became quiet, she said leisurely. It's raining, and your mother can't come to pick you up. ? The classroom is noisy again?
9. All of you who sent intimate photos are waiting for me, and I'll print them out. If your date is not this person on your wedding day, I'll put the photos in a red envelope for you! ! !
10. I had a stomachache after eating today. My classmates asked me to go shopping together, and I said, No, I think I'm a little sick. ? The classmate said:? Is it? I already thought you were disgusting. ?
Classic jokes in the novel (selected articles) 1.A female:? My boyfriend proposed to me. ? B female:? You promised him? A female:? Yes, he told me that his car is very prominent. Whenever he drives down the street, pedestrians and cars will give him way. ? B female:? That's great! ? A female:? Oh, stop boasting. Later I learned that he drives a sprinkler.
2. Sun Yang trapped in Zhenjiang Sun Yang posted that he was on the high-speed rail and was hit by a typhoon? Anemone? The influence of being trapped in Zhenjiang for 3 hours; Netizen God replied: You wait, and when the water is deep enough, you can swim back. ....
3. There is a spirit called Jam Hsiao: The last time my buddy held a concert in the Imperial City, it rained heavily that day. Today, I sold concert tickets in Modu, and the typhoon came again.
4. Cui Yongyuan? Tang Wei, you seem a little nervous. Is it because reporters always ask you difficult questions? Don't worry, I won't. I'm from CCTV. ? Tang Wei didn't know how to respond, only a naughty smile. Xiao Cui continued to laugh. Let me ask a simple question. Do you watch News Network? Tang Wei said? Ever since I was a child. Cui Yongyuan throws a cold joke: You've grown up, and it hasn't changed. This remark made the audience burst into laughter.
Xiaoming went to grandpa's birthday party, and when it was time to eat birthday buns, Xiaoming asked:? Why do we eat this ass-like birthday bag? Everyone's face changed. Then Xiao Ming opened the Shoubao, looked at the bean paste inside and said, Grandpa, look! There's shit in it! ? Everyone is dizzy, vomiting?
6. In the evening, when the family was watching the Olympics, the two-year-old niece suddenly put her finger into her father's mouth: Grandpa, is it delicious? Dad shook his head in a cooperative way: delicious, delicious! Then smilingly ask: What delicious food did you give grandpa? The niece calmly said: booger ~ ~
7. One day, five or six friends went to a restaurant to eat out. As their friends just got married, they asked the waiter:? Hello, do you have a sheep whip? . ? Do you have a bullwhip? No. . ? Do you have a donkey whip? No, sir. Hello. . . We don't have any JB here
8. Going to dinner with friends, the female colleague ordered a cup of papaya milk, and the waiter said with a straight face that it was gone. The female colleague took a look at her majestic chest, and the waiter also took a look at her flat chest and said coldly, I didn't drink it all. . . .
9. Zhan Zhao finally resigned one day, and Bai Yutang asked inexplicably: Why did you give up your bright future? Hearing this, Zhan Zhao got angry and slapped the table angrily: Working under Bao Zheng? Behind this? 、? Life stain? 、? Black eat black? These words are sensitive words, so how the fuck can you do criminal investigation?