1. Whenever you feel that your mood is wrong, keep silent, take a few deep breaths, and wait until your mood is straightened out before you communicate with others, so as to prevent your bad mood from hurting people.
2. When you are angry, close your eyes immediately, stomp a few feet, find a quiet corner and sing loudly, but only if it doesn't affect others.
Learn to look at things from another angle. Goethe said, don't punish yourself with other people's mistakes. Letting others go is also letting yourself go. Learn to be tolerant and generous.
4. Keep a normal mind, look at things rationally, and sometimes learn to look at and analyze the difficulties with an outsider's eyes, and then find ways to solve them.
First of all, the real reason why many people can't control their emotions is that they don't know what the real source of their irritability and irritability is.
Moreover, when our emotions really break out, it is impossible for us to observe ourselves from another angle, so that it will happen again next time after the incident, because no one can give you correct feedback, and you don't know how annoying it is when you are in a bad mood.
Many people think that the root of affecting emotions is the current events or other people's reactions. In fact, in my opinion, this view is not necessarily correct.
There is a famous theory in psychology, called ABC theory, which roughly means that things generally have a cause and a consequence. Most people will look for the motivation of this thing, that is, the cause of the event when analyzing the causes of it. However, most people ignore the intermediate link, that is, B in ABC theory, which refers to Bridge, that is, the meaning of bridge. We usually only find that we are annoyed, annoyed or angry because of something, but ignore the real factors that lead to our annoyance, irritability and anger, that is, our judgment and cognition of the antecedents of this matter, or our beliefs, understanding and views on this induced event according to the proponent of ABC concept. This is the real reason why we will be annoyed, irritated and angry.
There was once an author of procrastination psychology who mentioned the idea that people with procrastination have a fear of success in addition to being particularly afraid of failure. Because their families tend to doubt a child's ability, and such a family will lead the child to begin to doubt himself slowly, which will lead them to form an inertia in doing things, that is, when they are about to succeed, they will start to worry about what to do if what their parents say is true, and what to do if they really can't do it, so in order not to see the result of things, they will keep putting it off.
I said these two examples to illustrate my point of view. I think the first prerequisite to control our emotions is to find out the origin of our emotions. Is it really our dissatisfaction with the status quo? Or did our family education give us too much pressure when we were young? Is it really that what others say is too harsh? Or is there something wrong with our view of things and people's values since childhood? Only by finding these real root causes can we fundamentally solve the emotional problem.
We can also use some auxiliary methods to relieve it, such as practicing deep breathing and smiling frequently, which can make your heart more and more calm. It is better if you can practice yoga, or meditate. Sometimes, we underestimate the influence of physical factors on our emotions. Sometimes, doing a sweaty exercise can quickly sweep away some negative emotions. Why? It's very simple, because when you exercise, your brain has no extra energy to deal with emotions, and your energy is all concentrated on exercise, so your negative emotions are all driven away by your body and brain, and they don't allow other factors to compete for energy at this time. It's as simple as that, so keeping the habit of exercise can also make your emotions more stable.
Quietly tell you the truth.
People with calcium deficiency are more prone to anger and irritability, and their mood is unstable.
Emotion is actually related to the physical structure of the body, hehe. The lack of some minerals in the body will cause great mood swings. Therefore, it is better to control emotions by adding more missing elements, and then cultivate emotions on this premise.
In addition, practicing yoga is a good method. Yoga pays attention to concentration. When you concentrate on doing one thing every time, you will easily feel happy. If you think about another thing every time you do it, your heart will be complicated and you will be anxious.
So, focus on everything, eat well when eating, feel the sweetness of the food, drink well when drinking water, feel the coolness of the water drops, have a good meeting when meeting, feel the popularity of the venue, work hard at work, and feel the achievements of life ... Hehe, this is the most basic therapy to control emotions.
Concentration and pleasure have always been twins, and emotions and complexity have always been with you ..... making your heart more focused and quiet, which is not only the basis of controlling emotions, but also the source of career success.
A little advice, thanks for reading.
Very simple, just follow the following three steps:
Step 1, Understanding Emotion
Specifically, when you find that life is full of frustrations, for example, colleagues in the same department always accuse you and spit on you, and then you will feel angry; Just stop to buy breakfast and get a ticket, you will feel particularly depressed; When ordering food in a small restaurant downstairs, the waiter absently remembers your taste, and you will feel angry; There is a traffic jam on the way to work, and you will feel irritable and even anxious, and nothing is pleasing to the eye.
At this time, you have realized the emotions you express. Knowing emotion is the first step of emotion management, because you need to know what it is.
Step 2, control your expression.
After understanding emotions, you need to learn to control your expressions, including your body language, voice, and intonation. For example, when you are angry, under normal circumstances, expressions and language are synchronized. Imagine you are angry. Do you stare angrily at the person who annoys you, while spitting out accusations from your mouth and still telling him? But now, you should try to show your anger first, and wait for 3 seconds before you say that you are angry. You need to exercise restraint in these three seconds, just delay for three seconds. There is no difficulty, right?
When you delay for 3 seconds, you can put forward new requirements to further control your expression. For example, act happy when you are angry. Of course, you would say it's too difficult. Please believe me and give it a try. Happy expressions are mostly seen in the lower part of the face, such as the corners of the mouth rising, which is easy to do. But people who are happy from the heart, their eyebrows and foreheads will also rise, which is not easy to pretend. You can take a small mirror and practice it often. After a long time, you can certainly do it.
Therefore, not only don't speak when you are in a strong mood, but try to delay your expression for 3 seconds, do one thing in these 3 seconds, and tell your feelings correctly in your heart. For example, he makes me angry or I'm in a bad mood, and his criticism makes me uncomfortable. This is a kind of talk. Although it's a talk about myself, it can also reduce the impulse. Then, you try to express your ideas in a way that doesn't attack each other. Remember, don't suppress expression.
Step 3: Emotional adjustment
The first two steps are to control the external reaction of emotions with self-control. In this step, you need to change your emotions. You can follow the following process:
Stimulate your world-your cognition-your emotional response-self-debate-new emotions.
For example, a colleague gives you an arrogant look, which stimulates your world;
You think this proud person looks down on you, which is your cognition;
You are angry, so you stare at him angrily, just your emotional reaction;
Then you can argue with yourself. He is an arrogant person. It is normal to do that. It is not my fault. And if I am a good person, it doesn't matter what he thinks of me. If I am not likable, he looks at me like that, which is a reminder to me.
Then you become calm and look at him without hostility. This is your new mood.
We might as well spend two or three months practicing, and then we will inadvertently find that we can not only keep calm every day, but also stop worrying often. Moreover, the whole person's attitude has become positive and he has achieved success in emotional management.
The common methods of how to control your emotions are as follows:
(1) breathing relaxation regulation method
Usually, breathing is done through the mouth and chest, but abdominal breathing is advocated in the breathing relaxation regulation method, which is a method using the abdomen as the respiratory organ. First of all, find a suitable position to stand or sit well and relax naturally; Secondly, inhale slowly, feel the abdomen bulge slowly during inhalation, and begin to exhale when it reaches the maximum; When exhaling, feel the airflow exhaling through the nasal cavity until you feel the front and rear abdomen sticking together.
Relaxation adjustment is mainly aimed at body muscles and should be used together with abdominal breathing. The way to relax and adjust the head is to lower the head forward and backward to the maximum extent, and to inhale in the process of lifting, and exhale in the process of lowering. Relaxation adjustment can also be carried out around the waist, limbs and so on.
(2) Music adjustment method
Music adjustment method refers to the method of controlling emotional state with the help of music with bright emotional colors.
Many people have this experience: listening to a lullaby, they unconsciously enter a sweet dream; After a day of intense study, singing a song will eliminate fatigue. Modern medicine shows that music can adjust the function of nervous system, relieve muscle tension, eliminate fatigue, improve attention, enhance memory, and eliminate depression, anxiety, tension and other negative emotions. If athletes have abnormal emotional performance before the game, such as excessive tension, listening to a piece of light music at this time can often stabilize their emotions. As Kant, a famous German philosopher, said, "Music is a noble and witty entertainment, which enables people's spirit to help the human body and become a physical healer."
Guo Dejun, Tian Bao: Emotion-the Color of the Soul, Beijing Normal University Press, 2002, p. 12 1 p.
When using music adjustment method, we should choose different music according to different people, time, place and mood. Appropriate music can often achieve good results.
(3) Reasonable catharsis regulation method
Reasonable catharsis and adjustment is to release one's repressed emotions to the right object and restore calm. When negative passion comes into being, people feel unbearable pain. If you force and suppress such emotions too much, it will cause consciousness disorder, affect normal psychological activities, and even make people suddenly get sick. At this time, if you frankly tell your friends and relatives about your unfair things, pour out your pain and misfortune, or even cry bitterly, or write a letter to a distant confidant to tell your difficulties, you can calm your mood. Of course, emotional venting should be reasonable, and attention should be paid to the object, occasion and way, and it should not go beyond the scope of laws and regulations.
(4) Rational adjustment method
Many negative emotions are often caused by lack of understanding or misunderstanding of the truth of the matter. You need to calmly and rationally analyze whether your understanding of things is correct. When you find that things are not what you think, negative emotions will disappear. Negative emotions are sometimes reinforced by the narrowness of thoughts. When a negative emotion arises, the subject's thoughts will gradually be involved in the whirlpool of this emotion. Those who are worried are more worried, and those who are angry are more angry. As for other aspects, they are ignored and rejected. This requires dialectical thinking and multi-faceted and multi-angle thinking. When the positive significance of things is discovered, negative emotions can be transformed into positive emotions. In addition, we should learn "psychological replacement". When we are angry with others, we should put ourselves in the other person's shoes, and maybe we can be calm.
(5) Suggested regulation method
Language has great suggestive and adjusting effects on emotions. When you are troubled by negative emotions, you can relax your psychological tension through the suggestive function of language, so that negative emotions can be alleviated. For example, when you are angry, you can repeatedly hint at yourself with words: "Be patient for a while, so as not to worry for a hundred days." When you are full of complaints, you can use the poem "Complaints are too strong to prevent heartbroken, and the scenery should be long and eye-catching" to imply yourself. Practice has proved that this method is quite effective.
(6) sublimation
Turning the negative emotions, such as pain, resentment and jealousy, into positive and beneficial actions, that is, expressing them in a high level, is called sublimation. It is often said that "turning grief into strength". Some people are jealous of their accomplished colleagues, but reason does not allow them to express this psychology, so they redouble their efforts, struggle hard and finally surpass their opponents. Many people are in adversity and bear the burden of humiliation, but they are optimistic, enterprising and self-reliant, and have achieved outstanding results, which is a typical example of sublimation. Sublimation is the highest and best form of regulating negative emotions.
This kind of thing, emotion, can't be controlled blindly. People often endure and wronged themselves not to erupt. After a long time, people will be depressed and become passive and Nuo Nuo has no bottom line. In fact, when you really can't help losing your temper, you should lose your temper. Seriously think that 90% of the people around you can afford to offend. It's no big deal. After losing your temper, think about whether you should or not. If you are at fault, you need to adjust. If not, then what should be done.
Every time I get angry, I will meditate on my normal heart. Normal heart. I'm used to it now. Anger is a sign of incompetence. If you can say that temper becomes a kind of strength, it is ability.
Emotion can't be controlled. The more you control it, the more uncomfortable it will be. The more you control it, the more difficult it will be to dissipate. When you encounter irritable things, you need to slowly resolve them, think more about and analyze the causes of them, and convince your heart to accept some realities through correct dialectics of things, so as to fundamentally solve the problem. If you need guidance to solve your inner troubles, you are welcome to personally believe me.
Bow your head and take a good look at whether you have angry and dry capital.
As long as you want to live a long and healthy life, you will learn to control your emotions and irritability!
Unless you want to get old and sick quickly,
No, I think anyone wants to live a long life! ?