In college, although Lili's boyfriend was not romantic, he would always try his best to meet Lili's requests. Lili said that Dong Xiangzi would never go west.
We have been together for two years, which is ordinary but sweet. A year after graduating from college, the two got married.
After getting married, the two of them were busy with work. They used to occasionally go to the movies and go shopping. Later, when they came home from overtime work, they were so tired that they didn’t want to say a word. In addition, they lacked communication for a long time. I don’t even know what to talk about. After having a child, the two had more conflicts, and their thoughts were not on each other, but on the child.
There was a time when the colleague at the table next to Lili fell in love, and she was either picking her up from get off work or going on various dates. Sometimes Lili was scrolling through her WeChat Moments and saw her colleague showing affection, and she suddenly had the urge to say no. Out of envy. She realized that after getting married, the two of them were busy with work and taking care of the children, and they had never had a good date. She also became sloppy and no longer paid attention to dressing up. And Xiangzi is even more casual. She eats at home as she pleases, watches any drama as she pleases, and lives as plainly as boiled water.
Lili also knows that Xiangzi is not a romantic, and she is used to being independent before, so Lili has never enjoyed the benefits of transportation to and from get off work. Lili actually felt a little aggrieved when she thought about it.
The more she saw her colleagues showing affection, the more uncomfortable Lili became. One day I finally couldn't help but get angry with Xiangzi: Look how long it's been since you went shopping with me! Xiangzi didn't even raise his head: You can just shop online. Shopping is so tiring, it's better to watch a drama at home. Lili was speechless, with an unspeakable anger and grievance in her chest. After several similar incidents, Lili felt that this marriage was really boring, and she couldn't figure out why it became so unsentimental after getting married.
By chance, Lili read a book about getting along with husband and wife. There were many situations in it that hit her heart, so Lili decided to try the methods in it.
1. Create a separate appointment time. In married life, one person must take the initiative, so don't think about changing the other person, but start from yourself. So Lili decided to send the child to her parents' house every six days, and then arrange the time she spent with her husband for the day. At first, Xiangzi couldn't understand it and was reluctant to go out to play. But Lili insisted again and again, so Xiangzi could only agree. Sometimes it’s watching a movie, sometimes it’s going to the supermarket together to buy clothes. Xiangzi also gradually became more patient from being impatient at the beginning, and the two of them started talking more. In fact, Lili made a lot of efforts, because every time she saw Xiangzi being absent-minded and uninterested when they went out together, Lili felt sad, but she thought about improving the relationship, so she persisted patiently. Seeing Lili's persistence and enthusiasm, Xiangzi couldn't help but refuse a date every time. Thinking about it, it had been a long time since he went shopping with his wife.
Sunday is a fixed family day. Lili and Xiangzi will pick up their children and the family will drive to the countryside to play or go to the park for a picnic. Lili thinks this method is quite effective, but this is just the beginning.
In fact, men hate women preaching the most. After Lili realized this, she guided her with actions instead of nagging. In fact, men understand, but sometimes women talk too much, and they have a rebellious mentality and don't like to do it.
2. Set aside some time every day to share with each other what you have seen and heard that day. It is not recommended to gossip, but to use interesting and positive energy as the theme. Because they had time alone together, the two gradually shared more with each other after get off work. It’s no longer about kids and work all day, but about occasionally setting aside time to be alone. Share more interesting things around you, and people will become more relaxed. If you gossip all day long or talk too much about trivial matters, it can easily lead to disputes. On the contrary, sharing some learning experiences and sharing some interesting things is more conducive to the relationship between husband and wife.
3. The relationship between husband and wife is always higher than the relationship between parents and children. In the past, Lili was always focused on her children, so Sui Xiangzi basically ignored her. Although Xiangzi didn't mind too much, after a while, she became indifferent. In fact, many couples are prone to this problem after having children. Although it is difficult to balance, I hope everyone has this awareness. If the relationship between husband and wife is close, the children will also feel the love of their parents. Children who grow up in such a family will be mentally healthier, more loving, and more secure. The two children of famous diver Tian Liang are very loving and very sensible. I remember a report analyzed that because their parents are loving and care for their children as much as possible, their children are so loving.
4. Be more coquettish, praise more, and be more grateful. Lili found that learning this trick was super useful. In the past, Xiangzi would scold Xiangzi to do it, but Xiangzi would procrastinate, be reluctant, and sometimes would not even do it, which made Lili angry to death. Later, Lili learned her lesson and coquettishly asked Xiangzi to help her do something, and she actually got twice the result with half the effort. Sometimes when Xiangzi comes home from work, Lili sweetly says that her husband is working so hard for this family. Xiangzi is not only happy to say that she is not tired, but also helps with housework. Lili found that after she did this, Xiangzi changed a lot. Xiangzi would offer to go shopping with her, would praise her, and would secretly create little surprises for her.
5. Creating surprises is no longer a man’s obligation. When giving gifts on Valentine's Day, women always wait for men to prepare gifts. Love anniversaries, wedding anniversaries, birthdays, and a bunch of other festivals seem to have become days when men regularly send gifts to create surprises.
The consequences of not sending a gift will not be easy! Haha
In fact, if you occasionally surprise your partner, he will be grateful for a lifetime. I remember a sister shared her own personal experience. On a wedding anniversary, she knew her husband was busy and must have forgotten it. She felt that she had not created any surprises or given any gifts to her husband, so she decided to create beautiful memories by herself. That day she invited her husband's good friends, and then arranged a private dining room for the meal. When her husband arrived, she said a very touching heartfelt message (a word of gratitude to her husband). Her husband was moved to tears on the spot. Later, her husband said that he would never forget that anniversary in his life. From then on, her husband would rush back to date her every anniversary no matter how busy he was, and he would make up for the gifts even if he was on a business trip.
There are many ways to live life, the key is whether you want to live it well.
I wish you all a happy marriage!
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