At the age of 27, I finally dared to face the fact that I was a useless person.

The silence gave me courage. I slept until 13:50 in the afternoon, and there was still no sound at home. There was only one voice beating in my head: You are a useless person.

Yes, I am a useless person, 27 years old, with no friends, no job, no income, and no dreams. The purpose of coming to Shanghai was to become a writer, but in the end I couldn't even write a manuscript that would sell for 200 yuan, and I still talked about becoming a writer.

When I think about not being a writer, those little beauties in life dim and turn into little cancers.

--------Life is useless--------

It will be Christmas Eve in a few days. It is hard to imagine that I will live to this age. Except for my boyfriend, I don’t have many friends to invite to spend Christmas with me. Looking at the sisters in my circle of friends who gather their friends and go to internet celebrity restaurants, internet celebrity dessert shops, and internet celebrity exhibitions whenever holidays come, I ask myself, why don’t I?

After coming to Shanghai for so many years, my friends are still limited to the few people I met the year I first came here. Even if we live on the other side of the city, we will occasionally make appointments to have dinner and watch exhibitions together on weekends. travel.

But after changing so many jobs, the colleagues who worked together could never become friends.

Lonely? I don’t know.

--------Emotions are useless--------

I am a woman who does not know how to cherish feelings. In the past few years, if my boyfriend had not always known what he wanted and always refused my nonsensical request to break up, I would probably have been a single and lonely woman.

When the two of us are walking together, I will be impatient with the other path he proposes, throw him in the middle of the road, and turn around to go home.

I would be eating my meal, and I would be impatient with his request for a drink, so I would leave him in the restaurant, leaving him to finish the nearly one thousand yuan meal alone. of western food.

I would be in a good relationship, but my conscience found that a woman with a bad temper and a surly personality like me was not suitable to be his girlfriend, so I broke up with him.

Until now, I still don’t know what it is about me, a man with European-style double eyelids and curled eyelashes, who has excellent eyesight, that he likes in me.

I am a woman who wants to live with love and wants to die with hatred, so for the men I like, I will turn him into my boyfriend. For the men who have no feelings for me, I will simply ignore their existence. , resulting in me not having any friends of the opposite sex. So if one day my boyfriend finds out that I am not the right woman for him and wants to break up with me, I don’t even have a spare tire.

--------Dreams are useless--------

"A young man in his twenties who has no job will most likely put his Imagine being a writer ”

I have always proudly thought that I would be a writer one day. Deep down, I knew I had the talent to be a writer.

All this stems from the fact that in my junior year, I wrote a short story of more than 50,000 words and published it on the Banyan Tree. Without telling any classmates or doing any promotion, I opened it the next day. The website found that my novel was pushed to the first place in the short story recommendation list on the homepage under the banyan tree, and it was read by more than 50,000 people. A few days later, the editor came to ask me to sign a contract. While I was excited, I also had a belief in my heart that when one day the paper book was published and there was a book signing event for readers, I could proudly and confidently tell my classmates, friends, and parents that I was a writer.

After graduating from university, I came to Shanghai, originally planning to become a writer. In order to make a living, I chose to become an advertising copywriter during the day, and at night after get off work I would write and post articles, dreaming that a novel would make me famous. The reality is that the few novels I have written have very few readers, not to mention making me famous.

And by some chance, after I became an advertising copywriter, I put my love for brand planning above my dream of being a writer. I think it’s not just that my writing journey is not smooth, I should also sincerely love brand planning, otherwise I wouldn’t have been doing it for three or four years.

My boyfriend is a very dreamy, talented and persevering man. Since he decided to become a film director at the age of 13, he has been making films, making progress, and making films for more than ten years. Renewed my admiration for him.

And this slowly awakened my dream of being a writer. A man who relies on talent for a living should have a woman who relies on talent for a living.

So I quit my stable-income brand planning job and became a high-spirited woman, determined to write a novel that would become an instant hit. When I was 26 years old.

Just this year, I followed the invitation to shoot a movie as a producer before I had written any story outline. After filming the movie, I immediately felt like I was a really awesome person. I thought I could write stories and scripts, and my boyfriend could make my stories into movies. While I was thinking this way, I was working on commercials and writing short stories, and so far everything was perfect.

Just as I was immersed in my dream, my boyfriend was going back to his country for a short time. Without his blessing, I couldn’t imagine where I would have the opportunity to work as an advertising producer, and I had been away from brand planning for a year. After a while, I lost the enthusiasm to go back. As a result, my financial source was cut off, and I became a woman without a job or income. And my story is not finished yet. My dream of being a writer never came true.

--------Already a disabled person--------

Some people say that many people are dead when they live to be 30 years old. Because their lives after the age of 30 are repetitive.

When I was in college, I told myself that living to the age of 27 would be enough. After falling deeply in love, eating delicious food, and seeing the world, there is no need to continue a repetitive life.

I will soon be 27 years old, but I feel that my life has not yet begun. And I am already a useless person, which cannot but be said to be a kind of sadness.