Before I got back to class, I just spent a day floating on the sea around Elephant Island. I went to the sea to watch fish and monkeys with a group of golden-haired and blue-eyed nuts. After landing, I still felt like waves.

While waiting for the course to start, I washed my swimsuit, goggles and some clothes I've been wearing these days. It was too late, so I ordered a meal in the hotel room. Not long after, the teacher went online and asked me about my recent trip and feelings. Suddenly, he told me that you should stop eating and drinking. After you go back, you must eat, rest and exercise sparingly. I was suddenly tongue-tied, looking at the menu I just ordered, and thinking, is the teacher clairvoyant? Do you know too much? I often stay up late for nearly a year, and never exercise ...

The teacher warned me that Saturn and Pluto are in the sixth house, so I should be very careful about my health, otherwise there will be problems with tumor constitution.

I've been wandering around for more than ten days. I've been eating and doing massage or spa almost every day. Except for the kind of soft and comfortable spa that can make you fall asleep, any vigorous massage will make me feel unbearable when I press it often. But there are too many hardest hit areas, right? There are so many places in my body that there are too many silts or garbage toxins. I don't feel anything at ordinary times. It's right that my body is neglected.

Blue sea and blue sky, relaxed and comfortable environment, but I have nightmares again and again. I am either hunted down, surrounded by a group of people, chasing after people to save lives, or I am in a hurry to death. The only night I slept well, before going to bed, there was a little girl who was very skinny, rubbing her elbows, pressing her palms and stepping on her feet. She was very strong in rubbing and pressing me in the hardest hit areas, which made me toss and turn. I twisted my teeth in pain and didn't say a word, so she could do it. After pressing it, I felt relaxed all over, and I had a lot of relaxed dreams when I went back.

I just do massage and spa every day. I either wear essential oil or body lotion to sleep every day. Without polluted air and clean food, my skin is getting better and better. The whole skin surface is white, tender, moist and elastic. And that nightmare every night, the feeling that my body is blocked and blocked, the hard-hit areas all over my body during the massage, and the skin allergy symptoms that began to appear after the little girl finished the massage all remind me that behind those white and tender surfaces, I have completely lost the link with my body, and there are still many toxins and garbage waiting for me to face and solve inside my body. And these, instead of doing some massage or spa, can be handled with the help of the outside world.

Realizing that the problem was internal rather than external, I was anxious and didn't know where to start, so I quickly signed up for a ten-day meditation, trying to establish a link with myself, have a dialogue and find out the problem. This process feels a bit like that movie <: Eat, pray and love> ("Food, Prayer, Love"), I wonder if this is the way to find myself unconsciously.

Some words of the teacher touched me deeply, and touched my homework of Saturn. I am flying around like a headless fly, anxious to find a solution, and when I can't get better, I especially hope that someone with strong mental energy (preferably a lover) can take me out of the predicament. And the teacher called me back to my original shape in a word, and the person who can solve these mental difficulties is not others, but myself.

some homework can only be done by yourself, and some roads can only be done by yourself.

and my impatience with trivial matters in Saturn's sixth house, the mode of cramming all mental stress and emotional garbage into my body, and the way of suppressing myself by consuming energy have all done harm to my health.

I really do a lot of trivial and annoying work, and I do everything seriously, no matter how big or small, and I often see the details but not the whole, and I can't see the people in my work ... For example, my work has to be managed for a long time, with great risks and little professionalism, especially trivial and all in accordance with the system, and my sixth house has come out, especially afraid of breaking the rules and regulations and having the right people. I am very anxious, and my energy is very tight and rigid, which will naturally offend some people. At the same time, I feel particularly worthless and very annoyed to do this job.

For another example, I have to deal with some compliance work, and the leaders have arranged for us to summarize the opinions and data of all departments and then sort out the returns. However, there are always more than 1, projects, which are a job with many historical problems and great risks, and all departments are unwilling to cooperate with each other and take the initiative to get rid of us. It is laborious and thankless. If there is no superior inspection and internal audit, other departments are not willing to cooperate and shirk. This kind of thing is particularly trivial, risky and costly, and whoever does it has a headache. I worked very hard for three years, and the result was that I was agitated when I saw it and my heart was extremely resistant.

all this has caused me to pay a lot of internal friction and serious physical vanity. In the end, I got a comment that I am very serious, especially patient, and my salary is very small. Until I couldn't bear it physically and mentally, like the last straw of a camel, I was crushed. No matter how I left, many people still didn't understand what happened. I think the hardest time is over. Why did you leave? And I know that I have started to go to bed late and get up early, and I have a lot of hair loss, a sore throat and a persistent cough, and I am depressed and irritable, and I have lost interest in any job ... If I stay any longer, I am afraid that my health will go wrong. And the salary is so low, but the loss itself is so serious. What about naked resignation?

The teacher asked me to turn to Taurus, the opposite of Scorpio, saying that I came out to do massage and spa, which is the performance of Taurus. This time, I also bought silk bedding and pajamas, and bought a lot of aromatherapy to help relax and relieve in Chiang Mai, hoping to further improve my sleep quality. A deeper understanding is that I unconsciously eat the sea plug, not loving myself, but the wrong way to vent my negative emotions. I regard my body as a garbage can, and throw it with many things it doesn't need and excessive burdens (food and emotions) for it to digest. What body can bear such consumption for years? What did I do to it? What do you expect it to repay me?

loving yourself is not just about buying it in buy buy, but just finding a massage or spa. These external help will improve some situations, but it will not cure the symptoms. If I can't dig deeper into the process and causes of my negative emotions, and what ways and situations will force my body to digest and accept them, my unrestrained diet, unrestrained work and rest, and emotional state will not be completely reversed, and external rubbing and pressing will be really a drop in the bucket, with little effect.

I need to re-formulate my diet and food intake, work and rest regularly, and let me, who don't like sports, try to find a way of exercise that I like and can persist. This is the lesson Saturn gave me.

bit by bit, diligently, something good will happen.