Sometimes I think that there is really too much helplessness in life, and I have been desperately pursuing it, but when I think about it, most of the dreams I pursue are just unattainable dreams. People can choose many things, but there are some things we can't choose, such as birth.

A person can't choose what kind of family he was born in, let alone what kind of parents he is. We call these fate, which cannot be changed.

However, a person's fate is not predestined. Family background and birth are only the beginning of life, and the efforts of the day after tomorrow can still change life.

This is the truth that heaven rewards diligence and strives for self-improvement. Unfortunately, many people don't understand. They always feel that their life is not good because their parents have no money. I don't know that such an idea will only make me more and more pessimistic, and it won't change my life.

For those who strongly want to change their destiny, I personally applaud them. But everything has two sides. Some people have such a strong desire to change their destiny that they refuse to be down-to-earth and want to achieve it through some opportunistic methods. This kind of person's practice is somewhat immoral.

-02-

In fact, when I mentioned this kind of person, my first reaction turned out to be Phoenix Man. Phoenix men are mostly poor and have outstanding abilities, and they have made their way to the city through their own efforts. It turns out that these are admirable.

But some Phoenix men are eager for quick success and instant benefit, and don't want to continue to change their destiny by their own efforts. They put their minds on getting married.

Some Phoenix men want to find a girl with a rich family background, so that they can quickly turn over and change their fate and even their family background. This temptation is undoubtedly great, but the behavior is absolutely immoral.

Why does Phoenix Man have a bad impression in people's minds? It is because of the existence of the kind of person mentioned above that there is a sense of boundaries between Xiaojia and a family. Let women feel that marrying him is "helping the poor."

Phoenix man does great harm to marriage. They take the wife's contribution for granted, and they will ask for value endlessly. After a woman marries them, she should not only help her family, but also help some so-called "relatives and friends".

This kind of life is chilling to think about. Marriage should be a matter for two people, but it has turned them into a matter for a group of people.

Therefore, it is suggested that all women in the world must keep their eyes open and not marry Phoenix easily.

-03-

Reader Xiao Lu recently encountered an annoyance. Originally, she planned to get married in the near future, but something delayed her. Now she is anxious and hesitant about getting married, and she doesn't know whether to continue.

Lu Xiao is 25 years old and works in a state-owned enterprise. Parents are also employees of state-owned enterprises, and their families are better. Plus, she is the only child in the family, and her parents love her more. Growing up, whenever she wants something, her parents will try their best to give it to her.

Although her parents spoiled her, they didn't spoil her. Instead, their parents made a growth plan for her. Since childhood, Lu Xiao has grown up step by step according to his parents' arrangement. Xiao Lu's character is not arrogant. On the contrary, she is obedient and lively.

After graduating from college, Lu Xiao entered a state-owned enterprise under the arrangement of his parents, and his income was good enough for Lu Xiao to support himself. Her parents bought her a house and a car after she worked for a year.

When all his peers are fighting for the house and car, Lu Xiao has fully realized it. Life is sometimes so helpless. What you can't get through hard work may have been owned when others were born.

Lu Xiao, who has no problem with material life, began to worry about his emotional life again.

-04-

Emotion has always been Xiao Lu's weakness. Since she went to school, her parents have been very strict with her, and she dare not fall in love at all. When she was in college, she was busy studying and had little time to fall in love. Now she is working, but Xiao Lu has no experience and doesn't know where to start.

Her parents arranged several blind dates for her, but Lu Xiao hated this model, so she always resisted it. Parents can't do anything about her, so they have to let nature take its course.

But the arrival of fate is so wonderful. Lu Xiao worked for about a year and a half, but she was transferred to another department due to job changes. It was also at this time that she met A Hao.

A Hao is an outstanding person in the unit and is highly appreciated by the leaders. Besides, he works hard and is self-motivated. On weekdays, unlike those idle colleagues, he is always studying. It is this spirit that moved Xiao Lu.

Lu Xiao once asked him why he worked so hard. He replied that to change the fate of himself and his family, he must work hard and not relax for a moment. Lu Xiao was fascinated by his progress and gradually began to like A Hao.

As the saying goes, women chase men's interlayer yarn, and the last two people come together. Through contact, Lu Xiao also learned the basic situation of A Hao's family.

-05-

A Hao's family was poor and his parents were farmers. He earned money by farming and working. He also has two younger brothers, both of whom are at school. So in A Hao, most of everyone's salary is remitted home.

After learning this at A Hao's home, Lu Xiao did not abandon him, but sympathized with him. I had to suffer so much at a young age, so Lu Xiao felt sorry for him.

Two people have been in love for more than a year, and they have encountered many obstacles during this period. After learning about A Hao's family situation, Lu Xiao's parents are firmly opposed to two people being together, and they earnestly persuade Lu Xiao that A Hao is a phoenix man, and you will definitely suffer after marrying him.

Lu Xiao didn't listen to his parents at that time. She felt that A Hao must be a responsible person. He worked so hard and made progress. She was right to marry him herself.

Lu Xiao and her parents quarreled many times because of their marriage. Finally, my parents had to compromise and agreed to get married.

When getting married, according to their local customs, the man buys a house and gets about 80 thousand bride price money, among other customs. But when A Hao's parents came to talk to Lu Xiao's parents, they directly said: There is no money at home. Get a license if you want to get married.

-06-

Xiao Lu's parents are very angry. They raised such a big daughter to marry you, and you didn't give anything, so you wanted to get a license. Parents strike table to leave on the spot, Xiao Lu saw A Hao's parents or a face of indifferent expression.

So Lu Xiao asked how A Hao was doing. A Hao said shyly, "My family really can't afford so much money, and now I still owe a lot of money outside."

Hearing this, Lu Xiao was considerate of A Hao, so he went home and discussed with his parents to see if it could be alleviated.

After listening to Lu Xiao's persuasion, my parents became even more angry. Finally, mother said to Lu Xiao, "This is your own marriage. You choose. That's all parents can do. The road ahead is up to you. Don't complain to us if you have a bad life in the future! "

Xiao Lu could see that her parents had given up on themselves. She cried in a daze, but she still wanted to marry A Hao.

Finally, Lu Xiao said to A Hao and his family, "You don't have to buy a house when you get married, and you don't need anything else. Your family will take out 10 thousand yuan as a bride price! "

Lu Xiao is very considerate of A Hao, but her mother-in-law is still not satisfied. She directly angered Lu Xiao and said, "Ten thousand dollars? Is your family selling daughters? I'm telling you, there's not a penny. Don't ask so much if you want to marry my son! "

-07-

Xiao Lu was very angry after hearing this. She has regressed to this extent, and her mother-in-law is not satisfied. Do you really think she is unpopular? So I quarreled with my mother-in-law in a rage.

Finally, Lu Xiao said to A Hao, "I have regressed, but your family is still not satisfied, and I can't help it. I'd better not get married. "

Now they are still entangled, and Lu Xiao has been unable to make up her mind to break up with A Hao. She is very upset.

Many times women choose Phoenix Man because they are attracted by their abilities or ambitions, but they ignore the family behind him.

In fact, the family background behind Phoenix Man is the problem. Many women divorce because they can't stand the infinite subsidies from Phoenix men to their families.

Therefore, don't think that marriage is a matter of two people, and it is the running-in of two families. We must consider each other's family members.