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Where are the latest jokes? I want the latest jokes to make people happy?
An ancient poem named Wo Chun by Lu You requires students to dictate.

The Chinese teacher read aloud as follows. A student dictated the following.

Wochun | I am stupid

Mume smells the flowers, | I have no culture.

I have a low IQ.

If you want to ask me who I am,

Edo Chun Lv. | A big donkey.

The coast is green, | I am a donkey,

The coast seems to be green, | I am a donkey,

The coast is like a dark green. I am an ass.

One day in class, the teacher was teaching how much four times four equals, but Meng Xiao didn't go to class!

The teacher said angrily, "I ask you, what is four times four?"

Meng Xiao replied, "I ... I don't know."

"Go home and ask your parents!" The teacher severely criticized Meng Xiao.

After school, Meng Xiao went home and asked his mother (Otto's mother), "Mom, what is four times four?"

Mom didn't hear me and said, "Make a bowl of rice."

Meng Xiao then asked his father (Otto's father), "Dad, what is four times four?"

Dad just woke up and said, "How comfortable!"

Meng Xiao didn't ask his brother. He happened to answer the phone and said, "You make me angry!" " "

The next day, Meng Xiao went to school. The teacher asked this question yesterday, and Meng Xiao said, "Make a bowl of rice."

The teacher hit him with a pointer, and Meng Xiao said, "How comfortable!"

The teacher dragged him outside to stand as punishment. Meng Xiao said, "You make me angry!" " "

One day, when the teacher came into the classroom, the students stood up and shouted, "Good morning, teacher!" " The teacher said angrily, "Why is it called good morning?" What shall I do in the afternoon? Not good? "So the students shouted together:" Good afternoon, teacher! The teacher said angrily, "What shall I do at night?" "The students shouted together again:" Good evening, teacher! " The teacher nodded and said, "That's it. Now shout it again! "The students shouted:" Good morning, teacher, good afternoon and good evening! "The teacher said," Sit down! Today we are going to review antonyms. Let's practice like this. When I say something, you say the antonym loudly. Start now. "

Teacher: "The weather is fine today."

Student: "The weather is terrible today."

Teacher: "There is sunshine everywhere."

Student: "There are clouds everywhere."

Teacher: "The road is crowded with people."

Student: "There is no one on the road."

Teacher: "Young."

Student: "Old."

Teacher: "Stand."

Student: "Lie down"

Teacher: "There is a young man standing on the road."

Student: "There is an old man lying on the road."

Teacher: "I found a dollar."

Student: "I lost a dollar."

Teacher: "I found a dollar and gave it to the teacher."

Student: "I stole a dollar from the teacher."

Teacher: "No, you can't say that!" " "

Student: "Correct, you should say so!" " "

Teacher: "Wrong."

Student: "Correct."

Teacher: "that won't do, it's illegal!" " "

Student: "This is ok, this is a legal act!" " "

Teacher: "I made a mistake."

Student: "We are right."

Teacher: "Listen to the teacher, what the teacher said is correct!" " "

Student: "Listen to us, everything the teacher said is wrong!" " "

Teacher: "You are so stupid."

Student: "We are very smart."

Teacher: "Stop!"

Student: "Go on!"

Teacher: "You stop now! Stop it! "

Student: "Let's continue now! Say it! "

Teacher: "You stupid pigs, I said stop!

Student: "We are all geniuses, we say go on!" " "

Teacher: "You listen to the teacher!" "

Student: "The teacher listens to us!" " "

Teacher: "all students should listen to the teacher!" " "

Student: "The teacher should listen to the students!" "

Teacher: "now you stop practicing!" " "

Student: "Now let's continue to practice!" "

Teacher: "Are you endless?"

Student: "We finish what we started!" "

Teacher: "Then stop! Stupid pig! "

Student: "Then we should continue! Genius! "

. . . . . . The teacher walked out of the classroom with a handout.

Colleagues were away on business, and local colleagues were hospitable. They hosted a banquet in characteristic hotel private room that night. After a dozen men and women sat down, they were chatting all the time, and only one person was ordering. After ordering, I asked everyone's opinion: "The food is ready. Is there anything else to add? " In this case, in Beijing, we usually ask the young lady to report the name of the dish she ordered. So a buddy in Beijing said, "Miss, report it."

Miss saw his one eye, nothing happened.

"Miss, report it!" Dude, it's a little urgent.

Miss flushed, still nothing happened.

"What? Let you report that you didn't hear it? " Dude, it's really urgent.

A female colleague hurriedly dozen circle field: "Miss, please report one by one, ah."

The young lady mumbled and asked, "So, so ... is it okay to hold a woman instead of a man?"

"poof!" A female colleague just took a long sip of tea and sprayed it all on the person in front. A dozen people laughed, and the young lady was at a loss.

It's time to serve Let's do a mixed facial lift first. A large plate of skin-lifting vegetables was served, followed by several dishes of ingredients and sauces. Miss didn't pay attention when serving, and a drop of sauce spilled on a buddy's pants. That buddy is also deliberately teasing, pretending to be unhappy and asking the lady: "What should I do?"

The young lady said quietly, "Whatever you do."

"What do you say?"

"What do you want to do?"

"What do you usually do here?"

"Why don't I help you?"

"Very good."

I saw the lady holding chopsticks in one hand and a spoon in the other, and quickly pouring several dishes of ingredients and sauce on the rapier table with several brushes. Then he said to his little friend, "Sir, you can eat."

The buddy stared at the plate for a long time without talking, and another colleague said "thank you" to the lady for him.

The main course came up-roast leg of lamb, a big plate of meat bones and a plate of salt and pepper. A Beijing buddy loves this mouth so much that he grabbed a leg of lamb unceremoniously. Click is a bite, and he wolfed it down. Miss a look and said:

"Sir, this should be dipped."

The little friend looked at the young lady doubtfully, and then at the local colleague. A local colleague said, "It's better to dip it in." Dude then stood up with a leg of lamb, click is a bite.

The young lady hurried over and asked, "Do you need anything, sir?"

"ah? No. "

"Then please sit down and eat."

The buddy sat down with a whisper, looked at everyone and was lost. Carefully put the leg of lamb to your mouth and take a bite carefully.

The young lady added, "Sir, you should dip this."

Buddy stood up, waved a leg of lamb and shouted angrily, "How to eat standing and sitting?" ! ? "

The table was full and the leaders came.

The house was full and there was a greeting.

The young lady next to the party is beautiful, new, inexperienced and nervous.

Everyone sat down and someone called, "Miss, here comes the tea!" "

Miss hurried forward and pointed with her finger: "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, a total of seven!"

Everyone laughed, and the leader went on to say, "pour the tea!" "

Miss Busy is "backwards" again: "7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, or 7."

Someone asked, "What are you counting?"

The young lady hesitated and whispered, "I am a dog."

Everyone was very angry and shouted, "call your manager!" " When the manager came in, he put down his hand and asked with a smile, "What do you want to tell me?"

The leader said, "Don't ask more questions, go and find out the age of this young lady."

The manager was very surprised and answered according to his order: "18 years old, a dog!" " "

The leader smiled and everyone laughed. It is not convenient for everyone to pursue it if the leaders are massive and do not pursue it.

Miss and manager are like falling clouds.

After 30 days of drinking, a dish came up: "stewed turtle!" "

Everyone was happy, but they didn't forget the rules. Someone poked Wang with chopsticks and said, "The leader moved, the leader moved!" The leader looked at the turtle's crazy shaking head and was very unhappy. He didn't want to reconcile the ending of this statement, and he didn't want to go against everyone's good wishes, so he picked up the spoon and tasted the soup and said, "OK, OK! Please feel free. "

Someone said, "Yes-turtles should have soup!" " The leader almost spat with anger.

After a while, the soup was almost finished, and a round thing surfaced and asked, "Miss, what is this?"

The young lady quickly replied, "It's an illegitimate child." Everyone was surprised and happy: "Leaders eat first, leaders eat first!"

The leader was very happy that he didn't hear the word "bad luck". He called the young lady: "Give it to everyone!"

For a long time, the young lady didn't move, and the leader asked angrily, "Why, can't you tell me clearly?"

The young lady said awkwardly, "How to divide seven people and six bastards?"

Everyone looked at each other, full of delicious food, hard to swallow. `

A 70-year-old aunt was driving slowly on the provincial highway with three old people who were also aunts.

The car stopped her and said, "Aunt, if you drive so slowly, it will affect the traffic."

The aunt who was driving said, "Isn't that sign saying 20?"

Traffic * * said, "That's Highway 20!"

The aunt driving said, "Oh! Oh! Which highway is that, not the speed limit! "

Traffic * * said, "Yes, hey, why are the other three aunts behind you so ugly?"

The aunt who was driving replied, "We just drove from Highway 245!"

Teacher: "Most of your compositions are white."

Student: "Teacher, I wrote it in the vernacular."

The teacher said to a student who had just woken up from sleep, "I deliberately gave lectures loudly, but you deliberately slept."

"I slept on purpose, but you made a loud noise on purpose." The students answered.

The latest jokes are all on the funny website on March 8.