Among the few friends I have, there is a girl born in the 1990s. He is born with a cute look, wearing loose clothes all day long, with oil-stained hair that has not been washed for several days, and still enjoys life arrogantly.
In her words: "If I don't give in, I have someone who can accept my disobedience." Every time she said this, the corners of her mouth would always rise, like smearing a jar of honey. It was so sweet that it made me feel sick. I pretended to wave my hand to tell her to stay away from me, covered my nose and said: "Don't let your simplicity edify my soul." She always pounces on me with her teeth and claws open, spitting everywhere.
I admit that she is happy, at least in our eyes.
I envy her, not just me, every single girl in our same circle envy her. Every time everyone got together to chat, she would always be mentioned, and she seemed to have a sweet ear. Even if she was not present, she would call and ask us in a questioning tone if we had said bad things about her again.
Every time we get together to go shopping, her topic always revolves around her boyfriend, the man who can accept her not having to do anything about it. Then she drags me into the men's clothing store, and she is very happy. I chose a few clothes with interest, reported my height and weight, and then asked the salesperson to pack, pay, and leave with my bag.
I once noticed that it only took her ten minutes from entering a men's clothing store to shopping for clothes and then going out. However, every time she went to a women's clothing store, it took her from entering to going out. After a full hour, I still came out empty-handed. Every time I see her excited when she comes out of a women's clothing store, I ask curiously: "Isn't there something suitable?" And she always holds my arm like a child and says: "Yes. It’s appropriate, but I’ve already tried it on, so I don’t need it.”
“Why?” I’m really curious, because no woman doesn’t like buying clothes. No woman does. Can withstand the temptation of beauty. Although she is a person who doesn't like to be tidy, she also loves beauty.
She paused and said: "Because he has no money, I can refuse these beautiful clothes."
"For him?" I really don't understand.
She let go of her hand on my arm, quickened her pace and said, "Because of love."
It turns out that love can really make a person risk everything for another person, including giving up the right to beauty.
?-2-
She and her boyfriend were college classmates, and she was the one chasing him. We all once laughed at her. As a girl, she was not reserved at all. She would pounce on boys she liked. And she always narrowed her eyes and said with a smile: "I am willing. Opportunities have to be earned. Who says that only men can chase women."
After graduation, she followed him. In a strange city, I met her less and less. I could only occasionally chat on WeChat across time and space, but every time I chatted, she was always unwilling to send a voice message. She had to type a paragraph word by word. Come out and make a laughing emoticon. The content of our chat has also changed from her boyfriend to greeting each other. She will ask me whether I am doing well and whether I am happy. I asked her, what is happiness?
"Happiness means not being wronged." The phone screen lit up, and a message popped up. I held my phone and stared at the seven words that popped up. I think she must feel aggrieved.
"My dear, if you feel unhappy, come back. Don't let yourself suffer undue injustice at an age when you should be arrogant." I edited this sentence in one breath and clicked send. I thought she was so smart that she would understand what I said. However, the phone screen never turned on again.
I think, I understand.
The next day I got on the train bound for the small town where she was.
I want to see her, and him who made her feel wronged.
Leaning against the window, watching the fleeting scenery outside the window, tears flowed down, cold, cold. The world is so big, and you will inevitably feel aggrieved if you are imprisoned in the cage of love without taking a good look at it.
After several stops, the train finally arrived at the small town. After leaving the train station, I took a taxi and went to the address she had left for me. I didn't tell her that I was coming. In addition to giving her a surprise, I wanted to know more about her life, her real life.
I stood downstairs and looked at the east door window on the second floor with the word "happy" posted on it. I couldn't help but laugh. She must have posted it on purpose, because they were not married.
I went upstairs. It was very quiet in the corridor, so quiet that I was a little scared. I tightened my clothes and quickened my pace. I knocked on the door, but there was no answer. I thought maybe they went out to play today, Sunday.
I went downstairs and planned to walk around the community and wait for them to come back.
Just as I was sitting on the grass triumphantly reading a book, she came back, crying.
She was still wearing a loose David's coat, so big that it could almost wrap her petite figure. I put the book in my bag and walked over quietly. Before I could say anything, she recognized me and cried like a child, squatting on the ground and burying her face in her knees.
I couldn't do anything except take out the tissue. I thought it would be more useful to let her cry quietly for a while than to give her a lot of comforting words.
She seemed to be tired from crying, so she stood up and wiped her face with her thick sleeves. She tried her best to squeeze out a smile from the corner of her mouth and said, "Why are you here?"
"I didn't know you would cry if I didn't come," I teased.
That night we went to the pedestrian street to eat delicious spicy hotpot. She banged her chopsticks on the table and shouted loudly: "Spicy hotpot, no numbing, no spicy, no hot pot." He leaned forward and backward laughing.
But I still can't laugh.
"Come back with me?" I took a sip of the cold bean juice.
She turned her head to the side, and I saw her wipe the corners of her eyes with her hands. Then she shook her head vigorously and said, "No, it's good here."
She was stubborn. From the beginning, she dared to do anything when chasing him and was willing to do anything when they were together. Do it.
I ate very little at that meal, but she devoured it all. When it was time to check out, she yelled that she wanted to pay, so I didn't refuse, but she rummaged through all her pockets and only took out 25 yuan. The landlady looked at the change in her hand, then at me, who was standing brightly behind her, and smiled awkwardly. I stepped forward, took the change from her hand, and stuffed it into her sweater pocket.
I invited that meal, but I was not happy, and neither was she.
On the way back, I was silent all the way, but she always tried her best to tell me things that she thought were happy to make me laugh.
"Do you think you are happy now?" I asked.
"Do you think I'm unhappy?" she asked unexpectedly.
Then along the way, she tried her best to explain to me why she cried in the afternoon, how good he was to her on weekdays, and how much they were together now. of happiness.
And I couldn’t hear a word, because I only believed what I saw.
When I got downstairs, I saw that the lights on the second floor were not on, and her eyes dimmed obviously, with disappointment on her face. I said, "Let's take a walk. We haven't seen each other for a long time." She nodded in agreement.
The moonlight that night was as cold as water.
"Why hasn't he come back so late?" I asked.
"Maybe I have to work overtime," she replied.
"Maybe?" I looked at her suspiciously.
She felt a little uncomfortable being stared at by me, and shook her arm and said, "I'm working overtime."
I knew she was lying, but I didn't want to expose her, I just wanted to She is just protecting her right to love a little bit. After all, it is her own love, and there is always something she doesn't want to share with others. -3-
We talked a lot that night, about the past and the future, but we didn’t talk about her love.
I caught the earliest bus back on Monday the next day. She didn't go to see me off, she said she was going to deliver breakfast to him, and I could only smile and wish her happiness.
Later, due to work, the contact between us became less and less. We only missed each other occasionally, but we never met.
One day when I was bored, I opened my blog and found the people I followed, including her. I clicked in, and many of the photos inside were no longer visible. I don’t know if they were deleted or encrypted. I made a cup of coffee and started reading every one of her blog posts.
It was already late at night, but I didn’t feel sleepy at all. I had already drank several cups of coffee. I don’t know whether it was the coffee that excited me or her article that excited me. In short, even though I had already burst into tears, But still refused to fall asleep.
It turns out that her life has not been good at all in the past few years. Every time she is in front of her friends, she pretends to be strong and smiles, because she does not want others to know that she is not happy, and she is afraid of being laughed at.
After graduation, she followed him to that strange city to work hard. Because her education was not high, she had no background, and no experience. She often encountered obstacles in finding a job, so he began to become grumpy. Often loses temper for no reason. During those days, she was going crazy. She spent every day quarreling. She thought about breaking up, but every time she saw him hugging her like a child after the quarrel, she didn't think about anything else. Suddenly she felt very sad. Love very much.
I cursed at the computer screen: "Bullshit love."
Later, when his job became stable, he asked her to resign and stay at home. Of course she was unwilling, so there was another fierce argument. That time, he slammed the door and walked away, leaving her squatting on the ground and crying. That night, he didn't come back. And she, nestled on the sofa, waited until dawn. She thought that maybe she fell in love with the wrong person.
Women are always like this. With a slap and a sweet date, everything will be over.
He had more and more social activities outside and came home later and later. However, she finally lost to love and chose to resign and stay at home, staring at the ceiling every day. One time he was taking her to a party and specifically told her to dress nicer, but she rummaged through the entire wardrobe and still couldn't find any decent clothes.
He was a little angry. He took out all the clothes in the wardrobe and threw them on the ground. He yelled at her: "Are you still a woman? You don't even have any clothes that you can use." She felt aggrieved. He picked up the clothes on the ground, but still smiled and said to him: "It doesn't matter, you like me anyway, it has nothing to do with the clothes." He turned and went to the living room.
After all, he did not take her to the party because: "My woman should be glamorous, not unkempt."
She was wronged again .
After a period of time, she began to take care of herself. Anyway, she was idle at home, so she went to practice yoga, go to beauty salons, and learn flower arranging. She just wanted to look like what he liked. Of course he would be happy to see his woman changing every day. He would pick her up after get off work to go to the supermarket to buy groceries. Even though it was a bicycle, she was still very satisfied.
Love in a BMW may not be true love, but love on a bicycle must be true love.
I think, at least she loves him.
She thought such simple days would continue until the end of time. However, it was all just what she thought.
One time after get off work, he took her for a ride on his bicycle. He happened to meet a colleague who picked up his girlfriend in his car. After greeting each other, he left. As soon as he arrived at the company the next day, he heard his colleagues whispering that it was not embarrassing for a grown man to still ride a broken bicycle. He was angry and took a day off. When he got home, he yelled at her who was mopping the floor. She knew that he was a face-saving person, and she could guess that the colleague she met yesterday must have said bad things about him in the company. She didn't have time to take off her apron and went up to hug him. Unexpectedly, he pushed her and said, "The clothes are so dirty, don't touch me." Her tears fell down, burning hot.
That time, she yelled at him like a madman, almost spitting out all the grievances she had suffered in the past few years. She moved forward to tear off his clothes, but unexpectedly, he slapped her over and hit her face hard.
She was stunned, covering the left side of her face, letting tears crawl all over her face unbridled, but remained motionless.
A love that can be solved with a slap is not worth lingering on, but I haven’t figured out how to end it yet. After all, love is easy to start but hard to end.
Mixed with tears, I drank the last sip of coffee.
I think it must have something to do with the fact that she never speaks when chatting with me, because the typed words cannot reveal her mood, but the spoken words cannot hide her mood.
-4-
After that slap, they finally broke up.
She went to Xi'an alone with a backpack, cut her hair short in Xi'an, and then went to Lijiang by herself. After three days of fun in Shuhe Ancient Town in Lijiang, she sent me a message: "I fell in love with this city, so I decided to stay, it has nothing to do with anyone."
I laughed, I knew that his hometown was in Xi'an, and his favorite city was in Lijiang.
Half a year later, she suddenly sent me a message and asked me to pick her up at the high-speed rail station. She came back. I joked: "Why are you so willing to come back? Could it be that you are in love with someone else?"
She stood in the wind and shouted into the phone: "Stop talking nonsense, come and pick me up quickly."
You cannot stay in some places for long, because you are not from there to begin with, and you will always be just a passerby to that city.
While eating, I asked her: "Do you regret it?" She took a sip of beer and said: "He rides a broken bicycle and makes me cry every day. Why should I regret it!"
< p> There are many such people around us. When we had nothing and were down and out, there was a woman who accompanied us without any regrets. What she wanted might be very simple, a simple breakfast, a discounted movie ticket, a street stall A bowl of noodles, discounted seasonal clothes, a hug after getting up in the morning, or a date on a bicycle trip are enough to make her happy all day long. Because you are a cyclist, you love simplicity. But please remember not to let her cry in the wind behind the bicycle, because you are riding a bicycle, why should you make her cry.?