(Speech at the 2nd China-US High-end Education Forum of Qingdou Bookstore)

Cai Chaoyang

Thank you all, I am first and foremost a listener today, and after listening to the speeches of so many experts, I have a special feeling in my heart that if only I could have listened to such a good lecture a few years earlier, it would have been so nice.

What I'm doing right now is to be the "enemy" of Prof. Kevin Xu -- anything I do is to make Prof. Xu's business bad. I've set up an organization in Shaoxing, Zhejiang Province, which does two things: on the one hand, it does children's education, and I hope that through our efforts, we can help children discover themselves and not become hollow patients, so that Prof. Xu doesn't have to work so hard; and it also does some parenting courses, how to get along better with children, and to give children more spiritual nourishment, so as to empower children's growth.

I am the father of a first-year child. Last year I published a book in the green beans, "my family has an elementary school student", my editor in charge said: in the matter of accompanying their children to write homework, some parents accompanied out of myocardial infarction, some parents wrote a book of peace of mind. But I want to tell you that was last year, and this year my kids are in their first year. In the first half of September, my child's mother and I both had swollen gums and were anxious for half a month. As Mr. Lanhai said, after we have talked and listened here, we may recover in half an hour after going out.

I have also been struggling with anxiety and stress within myself, and this is the theme of my talk today: the primary responsibility of parents - to keep schooling and home education in balance***. How do we as adults strike a balance between schooling and homeschooling.

We're all ordinary people, I'm from the small city of Shaoxing, and we don't even have a better option over there than to go to a public school. To go to an international school you would have to go to at least Hangzhou or Shanghai, and then the kids would be away from mom and dad, which is something we don't want. I have always chosen to put my kids in public schools and have always looked for some kind of possibility in schooling and homeschooling.

What awaits us, however, is often news like this, the other day Nanjing's circle of friends was screened by such news, a 33-year-old mother because of accompanying the child to write homework after angry brain attack. Later, people went to inquire, the results found that this thing is actually true. This thing is the same as last year to accompany the child to write homework to myocardial infarction is the same, one is a cerebral infarction and one is a heart attack, can see as primary and secondary school students parents, our daily life is how terrible, we walk on the edge of the cliff.

Recently there is an idiom with a brand new explanation -- far-flung and close-knit. This was the strategy of the Warring States period when the powers competed for power, and now we are talking about, when the child is doing homework, if mom and dad are a little far away, they can still communicate peacefully, but if they are too close, it is very difficult not to attack him, and this is called "far from the friend, close to the attack". This is the mentality of the mom and dad. I can't deny that I lost control of my child when I was tutoring him in the first and second grades of elementary school, but after I read a lot of Green Bean's books, I gradually grew up. I can finally tell you now that even though we are this tired old mom in the dead of night, we are still able to try to be emotionally calm when dealing with our kids. How? It's about not representing the school or not completely siding with the school and being an aggravator, or to use a more serious word - an accomplice to teaching to the test.