Tell me funny jokes 1.
There is a penguin whose home is very far from the polar bear's. If you walk, it will take 20 years to get there. One day, Penguin stayed at home and was very bored. He was going to play with a polar bear, so he went out, but halfway through the road, he found that he forgot to lock the door. It had been 10 years, but the door still had to be locked, so Penguin went home to lock it. After locking the door, the penguin set out to look for the polar bear again, which means it took him 40 years to get to the polar bear's house ... Then the penguin knocked on the door and said, "Polar bear, polar bear, penguin is looking for you to play!" "
And guess what the polar bear said when he opened the door? ..... "Let's go to your house to play ~"
2. The little white rabbit skipped to the bakery and asked, "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?"
Boss: "Oh, I'm sorry, not that much."
"Well. . 。” The little white rabbit left dejectedly.
The next day, the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery. "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?"
Boss: "Sorry, there is still no"
"Well. . 。” The little white rabbit left dejectedly again.
On the third day, the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery. "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?"
The boss said happily, "Yes, yes, we have a hundred buns today!" "
The little white rabbit took out the money: "Great, I'll buy two!" "
3. A child cried, and his father said, Don't cry. After a while, his father will take you to the vegetable market to watch others eat sugar.
4. Jiao Yulu went to see a doctor, and the doctor said that you were seriously ill and could not share a room. Jiao A: My house is small, so it is impossible to share a room. The doctor said: I mean you can't * * * *. Jiao was even more puzzled. He asked: My ancestors were all surnamed Jiao for eight generations, so why can't I be surnamed Jiao?
5. A bear came prepared (Bear came).
6. The eleventh book is incredible (book 1 1)
7. The sheep stopped breathing and stood tall (the sheep didn't exhale)
8. The school established the Tibetan and Cat Club.
For three years.
They still can't find the colonel.
nine
Q: What do African cannibals eat?
A: people!
Q: Then one day, the chief was ill and the doctor told him to be a vegetarian. What did he eat?
A: vegetable eater! ~~
10 In Hong Kong, a girl passed by a fortune-telling stall.
The fortune teller grabbed the girl and said to him, "You have a bad omen, which will be bad for you."
The girl said, "I wish I could take it off." Then she turned to go.
The fortune teller said to the girl, "Even if you escape, you can't escape from the two * * * of life."
1 1, an egg went to the teahouse to drink tea, and as a result, it became a tea egg; An egg went swimming in Songhua River, and it turned into a preserved egg. One egg ran to Shandong and turned into a Lu (halogen) egg; One egg was homeless, and as a result, it became a wild egg; An egg accidentally fell on the road and fell to the ground, which turned into a missile; An egg ran into someone's yard and turned into an atomic bomb; An egg ran to the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau and turned into a hydrogen bomb. One egg got sick and turned into a bad egg. One of the eggs got married and turned out to be * * *; An egg swam in the river and turned into a nuclear bomb. An egg ran into the flowers and turned into a Hua Dan. There is an egg riding a horse and holding a knife. It turns out that he is peking opera blues. One egg is female and ugly, and it turns into a dinosaur egg as a result; One egg is male, and his wife is adultery with other eggs outside, and as a result, he becomes a bastard; There is an egg. ......
12, stretch four fingers, what is it? FOUR，
Bend four fingers, what is it?
WONDERFUL~！
13. Asun and appa have nothing to chat about, and time waits for no man.
A Song: "Recalling my childhood, the happiest thing is Children's Day. “
Appa: "Youth Day is in ten years. “
A Song: "Father's Day is in ten years. “
Appa: "In a few decades, it will be Old People's Day. “
A Song: "In a few decades."
Appa: ".Tomb-Sweeping Day. “
14
When the millionaire drove through a village in a luxurious extended "Lincoln" car, he saw two beggars pulling weeds by the road and stopped immediately.
"Why do you eat grass? “
"We really don't have money ..." A beggar replied.
"Really, get on the bus and go to my house. “
"I have a wife and two children at home ..." A beggar grumbled.
"Call them 1 The rich man pointed to another beggar. "And you, call your family. “
"My family has a large population. Besides my wife, there are five children. "Said another beggar.
"It doesn't matter, all call, go.
In this way, the two beggars and their families got on the bus, but fortunately it was an extended bus. On the way to exercise, a beggar's wife said gratefully, "Boss, it's very kind of you to invite even poor people like us home."
The millionaire replied, "Nothing, I just came back from abroad, and my house has been neglected. The lawn in the yard may be more than one meter high, so you can eat enough."
15. When my friend Li Shansi and I just moved, there was no TV at home, and we were bored. Let's pretend that there is a TV set on the desk, and then the two pretend that they have a remote control and can change the channel. This son of a bitch kept changing channels. I told him, but he didn't listen. Then we started fighting.
16
Soldiers: "Thirst ... Thirst ..."
Cao Cao: "Hold on a little longer! I have been to this place before, and I remember there is a Merlin nearby. I can walk for a while.
Can you get there? "
Soldiers: "Oh! There are plums to eat! Oh!"
Half an hour later-Coss: "Master! The expedition found a lot of water! “
Cao Cao: "Ha ha ha ha, did you hear that? Finally there is water to drink. "
Soldiers: "If you don't go ... you must find Plum ..."
17
A girls' school is haunted.
I was met by Xiaohong one day.
The ghost said: junior. . . Look. . . I have no feet. . . I have no feet. . .
Xiaohong: That's nothing. Look, senior, I don't have breasts. I don't have breasts.
18, why is the silkworm baby rich? Because ... Silkworms can cocoon (frugality)
19, which is the most embarrassing historical figure? Su Wu, because: Suwu shepherds the North Sea (being kicked by the sea).
20. Xiaoming got a new haircut and came to school the next day. The students saw his new hairstyle and laughed: Xiaoming, your head looks like a kite! Xiao Ming felt very wronged and ran outside to cry. . Crying, crying. . He flew. .
2 1 This diver's movements are very difficult. He made a twist for three weeks, followed by a forward somersault for three and a half weeks, followed by a backward somersault for one month.
22
The tortoise and rabbit race ... the rabbit quickly ran to the front. ..
The tortoise saw a snail crawling very slowly .. and said to him, Come up and I'll carry you. ..
Then, the snail came up. ..
After a while, the tortoise saw an ant again and said to him, Come up, too. ..
So the ants came up. .
When the ant came up, he saw the snail on it and said "Hello" to him.
Do you know what the snail said?
Snail said: hurry up, this turtle is so fast. ...
23. The glass and coffee cup crossed the road together, and suddenly someone shouted: Here comes the car! As a result, the glass was hit by a car, but the coffee cup was fine. Why? Coffee cups have ears!
24. There was a match. He started scratching his head when his head itched, and soon he burned himself to death.
25. One day, mung bean committed suicide and jumped down from the fifth floor. It bled a lot. It turned into red bean. It kept oozing. It turned into soybean. The wound was scarred. Finally, it became black bean.
26. What does a shark become when it eats mung beans?
Green bean paste
27. A college student was caught by the enemy. The enemy tied him to a telephone pole and asked him, Say, where are you from? I'll electrocute you if you don't tell me! The college student replied to the enemy's words and was electrocuted. He said, I am from RTVU!
28
A: "I'll take you to a place where all the girls don't wear bras. “
B: "Really? Where is it? Take me there quickly! “
A: "It's in the kindergarten next door! “
29. What's the name of boxing champion Ali's father?
Alibaba
30. How to make drinks bigger?
Read the great compassion mantra
3 1, what animal slips most easily?
Answer: Fox (cunning-slippery feet)
32. A bean bag crossed the road and was crushed by a car. Then he looked at the exploded thing and said, "I" turned out to be a bean bag. "
33. Who is the mother of milk?
Flowers-because of peanut milk
Who is Milk's father?
Sea-because of the flowers on the sea
34. Put a V between two fingers. What is it? Yeah ~ ~ Hands shaking and stretching down, what is it? It's fallen leaves! Ha ha ha, laughing me to death.
35. Once upon a time, there was a eunuch. . .
-What's next?
-Nothing!
36. Two tomatoes go shopping.
The first tomato suddenly walked very fast, and the second tomato asked, Where are we going?
The first tomato didn't answer, so the second tomato asked again.
The first tomato did not answer, so the second tomato asked again.
The first tomato finally turned slowly and said:
Aren't we tomatoes? Can we talk? !
37
One night, when a young woman passed a mental hospital, suddenly there was a "wow" behind her. The woman turned to look, and a * * * man was chasing her. The woman started to run in fear, and the man behind her gave chase. No, there is a dead end ahead. The woman, desperate, knelt on the ground and cried and begged, "Do whatever you want, but please don't kill me. "The man smiled cunningly and said," Really? So now you start chasing me. “
Give some funny jokes, funny ones, not funny ones, and don't hope you like what you collected.
1. One day, Cao Cao arrested Liu Bei, Guan Yu and Zhang Fei. Cao Cao said to the three of them, each of you should go to the orchard and choose a fruit. After a while, Zhang Fei brought an apple out. Cao Cao said that if they could put their own fruit into * * *, they would be released. Zhang Fei tried for a while and failed, so he was killed. After a while, Guan Yu came out with three grapes, and Cao Cao said the same thing to him. Guan Yu began to stuff ... When he stuffed the third one, Guan Yu suddenly smiled, and as a result, he smashed the grapes and was killed again. After going to the underworld, the king of Yan asked Guan Yu, "You are so stupid, why are you laughing?" If you don't laugh, you won't die, "Guan Yu said with a sigh." I don't want to! Jealous beauty! When I stuffed the third one, I suddenly saw Brother Liu coming out with a durian ... "
On the 10th anniversary of Hong Kong's return to China, Hu * * * arrived in Hong Kong and saw Andy Lau holding her hand and saying, "I know you."
Andy Lau: "It's a great honor."
Hu * * *: "Your name is Jacky Cheung."
Andy Lau: Tears streamed down her face.
Hu * * *: "I like that chrysanthemum table you sang very much."
Andy Lau: "Thank you Chairman Mao"
3. This year's college entrance examination composition, a provincial topic: Please describe the conversation between two mice in the wheat field.
There is another topic: please warn human beings as a mouse and make them realize the importance of environmental protection.
Require more than 800 words
There is a classmate who is important to write:
"Squeak, squeak, squeak?"
"cheep! Squeak ~ ~ squeak, squeak, squeak. "
"cheep! Cheep! Cheep! Squeak, squeak, squeak! "
"Make cheep? Squeak, squeak, squeak Squeak, squeak. "
"cheep! Squeak ... squeak, squeak, squeak. "
"Squeak, squeak, squeak."
"... cheep!"
"Squeak, squeak, squeak."
"Make cheep? Squeak, squeak, squeak. "
"cheep! Squeak, squeak, squeak. "
. . . . . . .
Don't send it if it's funny 1. Li Si has a champion dog, who wins every fight with all the dogs in the village. One day, when he saw Zhang San coming with a bald dog, he wanted to go up and have a competition with him. Zhang San refused to compete with him. While they were arguing, two dogs started to fight. I saw that Li Si's champion dog was strangled by Zhang San's bald dog. Li Si Zhang San unhurriedly replied: I said it's not comparable, but you have to compare it. My dog was called a lion before it was plucked!
2. A mental derangement, who got a pistol from nowhere, walked in a small black alley. Suddenly I met two young people, and the mental derangement pressed them to the ground without saying anything, pointing a gun at his head! Ask: "1+ 1= what?" The young man is frightened! He couldn't answer for a long time, and the neuropathy shot him without saying anything: I don't even know this, what's the use of living? ! Catch the second one and ask "1+ 1= how many?" The second man pondered for a long time, and replied with trepidation, "It's equal to 2 ...?" The psycho shot and killed him without hesitation, then dragged the gun in his arms and said coldly, "You know too much."
3. "This is a telegram from the general." A soldier came to report, "It's for you personally, Colonel."
"You read it!" The colonel ordered.
The signalman read: "We should first blame your stupidity and incompetence for this defeat!"
"This is a coded telegram, translate it at once!" The colonel instructed seriously.
4. A * * * son is ill, please call a doctor to see him. The doctor checked it and asked, "Do you have a screwdriver?"
"Yes, here you are." After a while, the doctor asked again, "Do you have a hammer?" "Yes ... but what's wrong with my wife?"
"Nothing, I have to open the medicine cabinet first."
5. Congratulations
Doctor: "Congratulations, Mr. Bonfair!" "
Patient: (excitedly) "Am I going to recover soon?"
Doctor: "no, you can't recover." However, you will die of a newly discovered disease in a few days, and we will name it after you. "
6. Doctor: Old man, you are very healthy, and it is no problem to live to 80.
Old man: I'm eighty this year!
Doctor: You see, am I right?
7. The keeper of the zoo stood in front of the crocodile with its big mouth open and kept looking into his mouth. Passers-by tourists asked, "What happened to the crocodile?"
The administrator said, "I don't know yet. After the doctor went to his mouth, he didn't come out for half an hour.
Looking for funny jokes, I read a lot of them, but none of them are funny. There is also the song "Sunflower Collection": It is said that Dong Fangbubai got the peerless martial art "Sunflower Collection". Dong Fangbubai was eager to practice this skill, so he opened the first page of the collection. I saw a letter in eight Chinese characters: "If you want to practice this skill, you must first go to the palace." Dong Fangbubai suddenly froze. A few days later, after a painful inner struggle, Dong Fangbubai finally made up his mind to continue practicing. Dong Fangbubai reluctantly opened the second page of the book after his palace, only to see eight big words in the book: "If you don't have a palace, you can succeed" (Dong Fangbubai fainted to the ground) ... After Dong Fangbubai woke up, he thought: What can you do? Why not practice magic earlier and become the best in the world? You can't even see who dares to laugh at me (finger in front) in front of the computer. Dong Fangbubai opened the third page of the collection and saw eight characters, saying, "Even if you have a palace, you may not succeed." Poof! (Dong Fangbubai spits blood) He is so angry that he turns over and over again. When he turns to the last page, there are still eight big words "If you have been in the palace, enter the palace immediately". Look at the small words "Editor: Palace Clean Room" in the lower right corner. Poof! (vomiting blood again, fall on the ground.
Why aren't all jokes funny? 1: A man knocked out a strange old man by riding a motorcycle in downtown! The man was so frightened that he was at a loss! There are more and more onlookers! Suddenly, the man hugged the old man and cried in tears: "Dad, wait for me, I'll find a doctor for you!" " After that, he ran away. . . The old man struggled and shouted angrily, "Come back to me!" " Everyone expressed their feelings: "This son is really filial!"
Ask for a joke that can't be funny. None of them can survive after reading it. They are all laughing to death. Today is my birthday. My girlfriend called early to say that she would go home to congratulate me on my birthday at night and surprise me! Hearing the good news! I worked hard today, and I ran away from more than a dozen customers! Back to the company. It's three o'clock in the afternoon. When I went to the canteen, I found only a miserable dish and a soup, three beans fried with meat (fried soybeans, green beans and peas) and radish soup. No way, after running all morning, the customer's stomach growled, so he had to order a big plate of fried three beans with meat and a big pot of radish soup and eat it! I didn't expect to get off work, and my stomach was like the engine of a cross-country jeep! -started the intense piston movement! In a flash, spurts of gas rushed out of my body! I rushed to the place where no one was there, and my stomach began to sing softly with embarrassment, but it immediately turned into a rapid-fire puff! My stomach is so swollen! Just then, my girlfriend called and said that she had arrived home and told me to go home quickly. Alas! I have no choice but to go home. I hope she won't see my mess! ..... On the way home, I deliberately tried to fart a lot. I'm almost home, and my stomach feels much better. I don't think there should be any more problems. I saw my girlfriend waiting at the door from a distance. She looked a little excited. She shouted, "honey, I have prepared a wonderful gift for you tonight, which will definitely surprise you." Before I entered the door, my girlfriend covered my eyes tightly with a piece of cloth, saying that she wanted to give me a surprise! He led me to a chair in front of the dining table and made me swear not to peek. Suddenly, I feel like farting again. Just then, my girlfriend's cell phone rang. This saved my life! I made an excuse that it was too messy and asked her to answer the phone in the other room! She insisted that I couldn't open the blindfolded cloth and made me swear! Then I ran to another room to answer the phone. As soon as she left, I seized the opportunity, moved all my weight to one leg and let my fart out. This fart is not only loud, but also smells like rotten eggs. I could hardly breathe, so I touched the chair cushion and fanned it around hard in an attempt to fan away the unpleasant smell. Just when I was feeling better, another fart came again. I raised my leg again and started to release it! It sounds like the rapid rotation of a diesel engine, and this time the smell is even worse. In order not to suffocate myself, I fanned my chair cushion with my arm, hoping that the smell would dissipate as soon as possible. When everything is about to return to normal again, another fart can't wait to come. So I stood up, bent down and pushed * * * back up! Let it out. This fart is really first-class. Even the newspaper behind me was blown to the ground in ........... I listened to the voice of my girlfriend talking in another room. Because I had to keep my promise not to peek, I didn't dare to open the blindfold. I just kept farting in the dark, in order to get rid of all the gas in my stomach quickly without making the room more smelly! I untied my waistband, faded my * * * and trousers to the lower abdomen, exposed my * * *, and groped for the balcony door behind me, almost extending the whole * * * to the balcony, and began to fart crazily ..., ah! Much better! After that, I danced and fanned the chair cushions all over the house, praying that the stench would dissipate quickly ... In this way, in the next ten minutes, I kept farting and fanning the chair cushions. Finally, when I heard her say goodbye on the phone, the air in the room and my stomach were much better! I quickly tied my pants, tidied my hair, and began to wait for my dear girl to surprise me with an elegant smile. When she came near, I had a contented smile on my face and a warm look. My girlfriend first apologized for calling me for such a long time, and then asked me if I had ever secretly opened the cloth. After I assured her that I didn't peek, my girlfriend removed the cloth covering my eyes and said to me, "What a surprise! My girlfriend insisted that I bring them to see you today. They said you were very graceful in the photo and handsome! Here! You see, the five people sitting at the table are all good sisters in my unit, and the six people standing on the balcony are my best friends at school! " At this time, I was extremely shocked and frightened to find that there were a lot of girls sitting at the table opposite me, while there was another pile standing on the balcony behind me. They all came to attend this birthday party that surprised me very much. Now, each of them looks at me with an indescribable expression on her face, just like discovering Martians.
When I was shopping, I suddenly felt a pain in my stomach, so I walked into the corner 199 and had a full hotpot restaurant. I wanted to borrow a toilet, but I couldn't find it all over the first floor. So I went to the second floor, which was still being renovated and empty, but I found that there was a toilet door with a fault to be repaired. Please don't use it. I really couldn't help it. Whatever. After the end, I went downstairs and found that there was no one. Strangely, it was dinner time. Just now, weddings said downstairs, why did people go to the building all at once? Even the waiter and receptionist disappeared ... So I approached the bar and asked, "Is anyone there?" Why is there no one? At this time, I saw a male waiter come out from under the bar and said, *! ..... You weren't there when shit fell from the ceiling and hit the electric fan just now? Are you lucky?
Are there any funny jokes, the kind that is very funny? I have read many jokes and think it is not funny at all. One day, a family caught fire and both parents escaped, leaving only one son in it. Mother nervously shouted outside the house: "Son ... what are you doing ... you're not coming out after the fire ..." The son replied: "I'm wearing socks ..." The mother said, "What socks are you wearing after the fire?" After five minutes, the son hasn't come out ... The mother shouted nervously, "Son! Come out ~ it's on fire and stay inside ... "The son said," I'm taking off my socks ... "
I always thought that little Suda was the alkali used to steam steamed buns at home. I saw on the Internet that brushing teeth with little Suda could whiten my teeth, so I wanted to try it. As a result, I rushed into the bathroom with an alkali bag, and toothpaste and alkali … felt cool when I brushed them, thinking it was good … Then it was a tragedy … The foam of brushing my teeth turned red, and I found that the inner wall of my mouth was completely corroded after gargling, so I couldn't eat well for several days …
A buddy went out to play with his girlfriend and met two girls. They didn't know each other. From a distance, they looked good, and they seemed to be ok, quite thin. It is said that my girlfriend is angry when she sees her buddies looking at other girls, so she quickly says that thin girls look good and fat girls work well. My girlfriend was so beautiful that she whispered, "Am I beautiful and good?" As a result, the two girls heard it, and one of them said, "Are you inflatable?"
Chatting with my boyfriend, when it comes to rising, my saliva splashed all over his face. Then he instinctively wiped it off with his hand. I was a little embarrassed, but deliberately shifted the focus and pretended to be angry: "What? Dislike me, "he said with a gentleman's smile." No, wipe it evenly! "
A man said sadly to his drinking buddy, "I didn't expect my wife to be unfaithful to me. She told me that she was with her sister last night, but in fact, I was with her sister last night!" "
A man was drunk and went home by car. The driver was a lady. The man took off his clothes when he got on the bus. The female driver questioned his behavior, but he was frightened: "What are you doing in my house? I have a wife!"
On a cold night, the two sisters went out to pee together, and the elder sister went back to the house soon after urinating, and the younger sister squatted there for a long time before going back to the house. So, my sister asked my sister, how did you spread it so fast? Sister replied, your brother-in-law drilled all this for me. My sister-in-law is very curious. One day when I saw my brother-in-law, I said, I pee very slowly. Please ask my brother-in-law to drill it for me, too. Brother-in-law deliberately embarrassed to say: this is not easy to do. Sister-in-law said: Why? Brother-in-law said there was a charge. Sister-in-law said, how much does it cost? Brother-in-law said: it costs twenty yuan to drill once. Sister-in-law said: What if I only have eighteen yuan? Brother-in-law said: That won't do. Sister-in-law said: they are all relatives. Brother-in-law, for the sake of relatives, help me drill it. Brother-in-law said awkwardly, who let you be my sister-in-law? If you are short of two pieces, you will be short of two pieces. Then I will help you drill it. Afterwards, my sister-in-law went out to pee, and because of the strong wind, she spilled it on her pants. Sister-in-law scolded angrily: Damn it, she said she was a relative. Didn't she give two yuan less, so she got it wrong for her aunt, which was not authentic.
A man asked a woman for a knot, and the woman said no.
The man asks, no, why not?
The woman said, My breasts are too small.
The man said, How big is it?
The woman said, it's as big as steamed bread.
The man said, it's as big as steamed bread.
They got married in two months.
On the wedding night, the man was crying outside the room.
A man came to ask: Isn't today your big day? Why are you crying?
The man said: Wangzai steamed bread.
A child who sells tofu always thinks that a nun is a monk's daughter-in-law. One day, a nun went to buy tofu, and the child called her "monk's daughter-in-law". This made a nun angry and left without giving tofu money.
Children cry when they sit on the ground. At this time, a monk happened to pass by, and the child came forward to catch him and said, "Your daughter-in-law doesn't give money for tofu!" "
The monk said, "Where can I have a daughter-in-law?" "That's the nun." "You call her aunt and she will give you the money."
The child went to the nun happily: "Aunt, please give me the tofu money."
Seeing that the child no longer called her "monk's daughter-in-law", the nun happily gave money and asked, "Who told you to call her that?" "big uncle."
Triboelectricity, a physics teacher in middle school, said in class: We take off our sweaters in winter. Sweaters creak. And lightning. But not in summer. Why?
Boy in the back: Because of the sweater in summer.
My parents were not at home tonight, so I had to cook and stir-fry myself. After pouring the oil into the pot, I heard the phone ringing in the bedroom, ran back to the bedroom with my mobile phone, and walked to the kitchen while talking on the phone. When I got to the kitchen, I saw that the oil was boiling and spilled oil everywhere. I threw my mobile phone into the pot when I was excited. . . . . .
Some buses in Hangzhou are relatively high-end, so the glass is stuffy, which says: break the glass in case of emergency. The temperature has risen these days, and the car is also hot, and there are many people in the car. The most depressing thing is that I don't know that immoral guy put a silent and smelly fart in the car. . . Later, the glass was broken. . .
One night, my parents came back from playing mahjong. I woke up when they came home, but I was still confused.
Suddenly my foot cramped (I think it was long) and then I jumped out of bed. At that time, my consciousness was very vague, and I just wanted to take two steps to suppress the feeling of cramp. As a result, I took two steps and felt that I couldn't hold on any longer. I plopped down on my knees in front of my dad and scared him. After kneeling, I felt no cramp, then stood up silently and turned around and went back to my room to sleep. There was not a word in the whole process. It is estimated that my father was petrified at that time.
Ask for a funny joke ~ ~ There was a boss who had a happy family, but he couldn't meet his wife for a long time because of his busy business. One day he suddenly missed his wife, so he called her:
Husband: "Hey, you ... who, why are you in my house? "
: "I'm the nanny."
Husband: "Oh, but I haven't hired a nanny? Did my wife invite you? "
：”？ Are you the wife's husband? "
Husband: "Yes."
: "what! I always thought that the one upstairs, in the wife's bedroom with her wife ... was the right one! "
The husband's angry head is smoking!
Husband: "Do you want to earn 100000 yuan?"! "
: "think! What do you want me to do? "
Husband: "you go upstairs and rush into their bedroom, take out your gun from the second drawer of the bedside and shoot each of them."
．．．．．．．
Bang! Bang!
: "What should I do with the body when it's done? "
Husband: "You put the body in my pool."
Do you have a pool at home? "
The husband suddenly had a bad feeling.
Husband: "Isn't your phone @ # $%&* (?
: "No, it's @ # $%&*)!
Husband: "Oh, I have the wrong number ..."
The other side is sweating ...