In our hometown, there is a saying: "Caulis Cucurbitae and Caulis Phaseoli can't be distinguished", which means that once the vines of Luffa and the stems of Phaseolus Phaseoli are intertwined, they can't be distinguished. Therefore, when brothers are separated and couples are divorced, there are many details that cannot be handled. The older generation will say, "You can't tell the difference between a cauliflower and a bean curd!" Also, this sentence can be used when a person has many relatives and friends and the social relationship is extremely complicated. And when a person is entangled in the process and even can't see the ending clearly, this sentence can also be used to describe it. It is difficult for people who live in the city to understand the mystery of these nine words, because they have no chance to see the lingering appearance of loofah and bean vines. Rural people can't help smiling when they talk about the real situation where personnel are difficult to sort out, because loofah and pea are the most ordinary plants in the countryside, and almost every family has them. When I was a child, I planted many loofah and croutons under the scaffolding in the yard. It often surprised me to see that they were intertwined. It was really hard to distinguish with the naked eye. Now, in retrospect, I feel that the complicated interpersonal relationship of modern people is really like the entanglement of these two kinds of vines. It is not difficult to find the roots and fruits of loofah and croutons, but it is very difficult to distinguish them in the process of growth. Once I was stupid enough to tell the difference completely, but I broke the stems and leaves of the loofah and the meat beans. My father felt very funny when he saw it, so he said to me, "What's the point even if you can distinguish these two plants? All you have to do is water and fertilize their roots, take good care of them and let them grow up. Just wait until the loofah and the peas grow up and pick them and eat them. Loofah and peas are both planted for eating, not for distinguishing them! " My father's words gave me a good enlightenment, and so did all the relationships in life. What does it matter if one stands firm and strives to grow up, and sometimes he can't help being entangled with others? Once you forget your position and dignity, you will bear fruit in the end. When the fruit is formed, all the entanglement is not important. Another revelation is nature. Everything has its own natural laws. Following the development of this nature, we should always look back at our heels, which is the attitude of normal life growth. It is inevitable that what kind of cause will bear what kind of fruit. Although loofah is indistinguishable from meat beans, loofah is loofah and meat beans are meat beans, which will never change. What we can do is to make loofah grow good loofah and let meat beans bear fat meat beans! Luffa grows in the order of nature. The red flowers are so red and the green leaves are so green. No one can live beyond nature, so the Zen master said, "No rain falls, no wind flies." Flowers and flocs fly down not because of wind and rain, but because they have entered the time sequence of life. After the Japanese Daoyuan Zen Master returned to China to study Zen, many people asked him what he had learned. He said, "I really realized that my eyes are long horizontally and my nose is long vertically, so I came back empty-handed." Everyone who heard it laughed, but immediately their laughter froze, because none of them knew why their noses were straight and their eyes were long, which made us know that Zen is the heart of nature, and we can't understand the true meaning without the solemn experience of life! Master Baiyun Shouduan once met with his master Yang Qifang, and Yang Qi asked, "I heard that your former master Cha Ling Yu said a poem when he realized. Do you remember it?" "Remember, that song is' I have a pearl, which has been shut down by dust for a long time; Once the dust is exhausted, thousands of mountains and rivers are broken. " "Baiyun said respectfully, unavoidably some satisfied. Yang Qi laughed several times and left without saying a word. Baiyun froze and sat on the spot, wondering why Master laughed when he heard his own words. He was very depressed, thinking about Master's laughter all day, and couldn't find any reason to make Master laugh. That night, he tossed and turned, unable to sleep, and worked hard all night. The next day, I couldn't help it. I went to ask Master early in the morning, "Why did Master laugh when he heard the monk Yu?" Zen master Yang Qi smiled even more happily, and said to the disciple whose eyes were black because of insomnia, "It turns out that you are not as good as a clown. Clowns are not afraid of people laughing, but you are afraid of people laughing! "Baiyun listened to, suddenly enlightened. This is really a humorous case-solving. The Zen master who seeks since the enlightenment in Zen meditation places his mind on other people's words and deeds. He is distressed because of other people's words and deeds. It is really not as good as a clown who can laugh and scold him, and his words and deeds are free, so how can he achieve it? Yang Qifang's Zen master encountered the same problem as Baiyun when following Shi Shuang Ci Ming's Zen master. Once he met Shi Shuang on a mountain road, he deliberately blocked the way and asked, "What happened when we met in a narrow road?" Shi Shuang said, "You hide, I'm going there!" On another occasion, when Shi Shuang went to class, Yang Qi asked, "What happens when the birds whisper and the words go into the chaos?" Shi Shuang replied, "I walked in the wild grass and you went into the deep village." All these show that the understanding of Zen is absolute self, and even if you are close to your master and son, you can't walk with them. Just like everyone has a treasure at home, Master can only point out the preciousness of the treasure, but can't give it away. Zen master Yang Qi once left a Zen saying: "The mind is the root, the dharma is the dust, and the two are like marks on the mirror. When the marks are exhausted, they begin to appear, and the death of mind and dharma is true." Everyone has a mirror. Although mirrors can reflect each other, they are irreplaceable. If you pin your own joys and sorrows on the joys and sorrows of others, you will always scratch on the mirror and find no place to stay bright. In real life, too, we often feel uneasy because of someone else's eyes, a joke, and an action, and even we don't think about tea and rice and can't sleep well; In fact, these eyes, jokes and actions are meaningless in many cases. The reason why our hearts are in turmoil is only because we care. In case both sides care, it will lead to a situation of "narrow road meeting" Living in the stormy waves of tears, it is really difficult for us not to be afraid of people talking and laughing, because we are looking for dependence in the life corresponding to people and me, on the other hand, we are looking for self-esteem in dependence, but "dependence" and "self-esteem" are full of struggles and contradictions.