Classic Edition of Wu Zongxian's Quotes
1. Kangkang is actually a mixed race. His father is from the planet Aryan.
2. In fact, you should be asked to go shoot a ghost movie. When people come out, ah~~~~ there is no head. When you come out, ah~~~no breasts!
3 , Aya is really unprecedented, (unprecedented, unprecedented!) strong!
4. If a woman is not drunk, a man will have no chance. If a man is not drunk, if a woman does not tip, neither man nor man will be drunk, and no one will sleep in the hotel.
5. She made a mistake once. When she went to work, she wore too fancy clothes. She wore a low-cut dress that went as low as her belly, a backless dress that exposed her buttocks, and a side slit that reached her armpits.
6. Brother Xian: Do you know what black people don’t like to eat the most?
Rainie: I don’t know
Aya: What is it
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Brother Xian: Chocolate, because it bites my fingers.
7. When Aya patted her chest to express her confidence, Wu Zongxian shouted: Listen, there is an echo.
8. If you don’t want someone to be spicy, you have to be spicy at the end of your body, reach the highest point of spicy, and feel spicy in your heart. Let two people compete in the mountains to see who is spicy, you or me!! The word spicy is also You can change it to something else!
9. Performed the sitcom Hua Mulan with Xiao S. In order to prove her identity as a daughter, Hua Mulan, played by Xiao S, took off her clothes, and then Wu Zongxian shouted, "Wow!" !What two big thumbtacks!
10. Business girls don’t know the hatred of subjugating their country, and prostitutes don’t know extramarital affairs.
11. Brother Xian: Now welcome the guests from Singapore. How long will you stay in Taiwan?
Guest: One week
Brother Xian: Okay, I’ll start. I’ve been to many restaurants, just order from my restaurant, okay?
Aya: It’s all yours, right?
Brother Xian: No, it will be faster this way!
12. Cheng Lin: I think many boys like to turn around.
Brother Xian: Why? The road we have traveled is easier?
Aya: We girls have to be a good horse
Brother Xian: No, we have to be a good grass. If he turns around and the horse comes, don’t feed him
13. Brother Xian: So what do yellow people like to eat the most?
Aya: Is it banana?
Brother Xian: No, it’s actually stool
Aya He Chenglin: Why!!
Brother Xian: Nonsense, who likes to eat poop!
14. Brother Xian: You still have the habit of playing the cello when you are hungry. ?
Guest: Yes
Aya: Why
Guest: Because the cello is played while sitting...
Brother Xian: Oh ~~~Because once you eat too much, you may really pull out in that posture~~~It feels like being on the toilet
15. Brother Xian: What is your job?
Guest: Play music at funerals
Brother Xian: So you always play next to the coffin and coffin?
Guest: Yes, next to him
Brother Xian: Have you ever blown the wind to the point where the deceased stood up to thank him?
16. Taiwanese generally only recognize 6 kinds of flags: blue sky, white sun, five-star red flag, stars and stripes flag, Union Jack plaster flag, and stick flag. Most people in Baguaqi don’t even know about France, Italy, and Germany~~
17. Brother Xian: It’s okay. Spider-Man is just Spider-Man. Do you know what “Superman” is called in China? ?
Cheng Lin: Super hero?
Brother Xian: There are so many heroes, just call him Superman!
18. Cold-feeling, cold-feeling, cold-feeling Feeling! (Pointing at Little S) Rapist, rapist, rapist! (Little S points at him)
19. Cheng Lin: I think many boys like to turn around
Brother Xian: Why? The road we have traveled is easier?
Aya: We girls must be a good horse
Brother Xian: No, we must be a good horse I have no choice but to give it to him. If he turns around and the horse comes, don't feed him.
20. When he was studying sperm, he also said that after a series of sieges of cities and territories, he still acted like a charge to kill. At that time, water spurted out of my mouth more than a meter away. Wu Zongxian’s classic funny quotes
1. No, it will be faster to cook the food this way!
2. Is this your talent show?
3. If a woman is not drunk, how can a man have a chance?
4. If a man is not drunk, how can a woman tip?
5. Which university did you study in the music department?
6. The aunt should be more powerful than the enoki mushroom.
7. It’s because of the loneliness at night!
8. Why can you be so popular!
9. "I Love the Golden Cudgel" is an pornographic film!
10. There are so many heroes, just call them Superman!
11. Nonsense, who would like to eat poop!
12. Let me change my clothes first! Do you need to take a shower after riding?
13. So what do yellow people dislike eating the most?
14. Do you always play blowing next to the coffin and coffin?
15. Good, Hong Kong is good. Is Hong Kong delicious?
16. You are not affected and have no sagging problem?
17. Why? Is the road traveled easier?
18. If you don’t wear underwear, you will feel comfortable, and the people watching will also feel comfortable.
19. Do you know what black people don’t like to eat the most?
20. Xinru, how does it feel to work with mainland actors?
21. If you ride a horse and gallop, which part will be the most painful?
22. Chocolate, because I bite my fingers.
23. If I were a girl, I would fall in love with me too!
24. Neither the woman nor the man is drunk, so why is there anyone sleeping in the hotel?
25. Feeling cold, feeling cold, feeling cold! (Pointing to the small s)
26. People say that people with big breasts have no brains. People with big brains have no breasts!
27. Ah, you don’t have to push it out if you don’t have breasts. (To Aya)
28. I heard that you and Zhao Wei were sitting next to each other and kicking each other’s legs?
29. A businesswoman does not know the hatred of losing her country, and a prostitute does not know extramarital affairs.
30. Please use the idiom *X to make sentences! I'll make one first.
31. Utility bills, phone bills, bank bills
32. Yes, why don’t you see the head? When a man takes off his clothes, you can see the head.
33. Don’t think Kangkang looks like this. Kangkang is actually a mixed race.
34. Give you 10 seconds, please list something that comes once a month!
35. Have you ever blown the wind to the point where the deceased person got up to thank him?
36. Do you still have the habit of playing the cello when you are hungry?
37. Okay, calm down, then let me ask you, what are the characteristics of the Golden Cudgel?
38. Please, is it true? I think the Xinhai Tunnel has also been opened!
39. Do you smile when you hold it in your mouth? That is smiling.
40. I can’t help it. Her face makes me want to be a director.
41. Why are you so blind? Is it because I peeked at boys pooping?
42. You dance like you are sitting on the bench with your butt naked, and you are very formal
43. You really say it! I knew you'd come up with a photo book!
44. You look like a dragon and a phoenix. From a distance, you look like a splash-ink landscape!
45. Look, your friends are singing randomly next to me, but I am the only one who is not singing.
46. See if he has calluses on his hands. (Ask the Shaolin monk)
47. Now we welcome No. 2 to the stage. Do you have a boyfriend now?
48. Now welcome the guests from Singapore. How long will you stay in Taiwan?
49. We are going to shoot a movie recently, and I will promote you to be the heroine, okay?
50. Okay, I have opened many restaurants. Just go to my restaurant and order it, okay?
51. Too general! If it were me, ask me what kind of exercises I practice? I practice martial arts.
52. Wow, this guest has been practicing Kung Fu for thirty years. What kind of Kung Fu does he practice?
53. People should receive applause when they are at a high point, and they should enjoy life when they are at a low point.
54. Aren’t you so realistic? When you hear other people have boyfriends, you just want to skip it!
55. There is an old Chinese saying that a woman’s lack of talent is a virtue. This is a very virtuous friend!
56. Why is it not popular anymore? I have class in the afternoon. If you like it, I will continue playing it in the evening! .
57. No, you have to be a good grass. If he turns around and the horse comes, don't feed him.
58. If everything requires preparation, it means that your view of life is not fulfilling enough.
59. Yes, it is only better than liver, heart, lungs and kidneys. Just a little harder.
60. Have you seen mine? Mine are all pink, and there are two angels spinning on them.
61. Speaking of our Lan Xinmei, it’s amazing, she is our Taiwanese movie queen.
62. A friend of mine is a gang member. In order not to be afraid of being hacked, he had a turtle shell tattooed on his back.
63. No, when I listen to you singing, I cover my ears with both hands, and I don’t even have a microphone in my hand!
64. 9-year-old boys should not cry. I also have children, and my son will not cry.
65. Steel Army Oh, steel bars don’t sound like much, Steel Army sounds like very big bars.
66. You can’t condone bad people, you have to learn from Aya, it’s so cool to shout out right away, it’s so cool.
67. The first time someone learned to play the piano half-heartedly!
68. When you come down, you must think that I am interviewing the next guest. No, I want to interview our guitarist.
69. Hey, I just happened to be unemployed at home recently. I wonder if I have time to have a cup of tea together?
70. It’s okay. Spider-Man is just Spider-Man. Do you know what “Superman” is called in China?
71. Now we welcome our guest to sing a song he once sang, called "Sweet Honey".
72. The guest below is the pride of us Chinese men. Let us applaud Mr. Ku Juji (Chicken)!
73. In fact, you should be asked to go shoot a ghost movie, and people come out, ah! Without a head, as soon as you come out, ah! No boobs!
74. I have a professional question to ask you, okay? It's all Yoneda***, will the result you pulled out be quite well-proportioned?
75. Japanese rice is very powerful! Because it is taken care of very carefully, every grain of rice is covered with a plastic sleeve.
76. If you are behind me, I will cover you. If one day, it is your turn to be in front of me and I am behind you, I will cover you!
77. They spread a saying in school: What are you doing? You really have no common sense. You have never eaten pork and you have seen Aya walk!
78. If you don’t want someone to be spicy, you have to be spicy at the end. Spicy to the highest point. If you feel spicy in your heart, two people come to compete in the mountains to see who is spicy, you or me!
79. She made a mistake once. When she went to work, she wore too fancy clothes, with a low-cut dress that went as low as her belly, a backless dress that exposed her buttocks, and side slits that reached her armpits.
80. There are five kinds of beauties in mainland China: first-class beauties, traveling across the ocean. Second-class beauty, Shenzhen and Zhuhai. Third-class beauties stay in Shanghai. Fourth-class beauty, waiting at home. Fifth-class beauties were sent to forced labor camps.
81. Jay is the spaceship and I am the fuel tank. When he rises into the sky, I quietly float down on the Pacific Ocean and watch from a distance as he continues to shine in the starry sky. I waved to him on the Pacific Ocean, but I could no longer see clearly because my eyes were blurred by tears.
Wu Zongxian's classic quotations
1. Distance is the killer of love, and time is the most hurtful. Time hurts us, but time also makes me heal. Time will not make you feel painless. Time only makes me get used to it. Pain, love, it is dot-like. Look at the stars in the sky, scattered like little bright eyes...
2. Mainland hosts are all pretty good-looking, just like Duan Doing shows with "hot pot": I am not only afraid of scalding others, but also afraid of scalding myself.
3. There are always ups and downs in life.
4. The program comes and goes, the host comes and goes, but only true friends can last forever!
5. If a man is not drunk, how can a woman tip? If a woman is not drunk, how can a man have a chance? Neither the woman nor the man is drunk, so why is there anyone sleeping in the hotel?
6. What you eat during the day is soft food, but you work hard at night; if a man is not responsible, he still has to pay!
7. Men rely on eating, and women rely on sleeping. If they don’t eat or sleep, they will be scrapped immediately.
8. Very masculine. "Very big" is tailor-made according to certain organ characteristics of mine. You are bigger than me. I am older than you, which means our program is very long.
9. Time will not make people feel painless, time just makes you accustomed to pain.
10. True love only comes twice in a person's life. When you realize this truth, the first time has usually passed.
11. A friend of mine is a gang member and has a turtle shell tattooed on his back to protect himself from being chopped off... So every time I see him, I can't help but touch his head.
12. If your happiness is my pain, then the pain is no longer pain. Pain for you is OK and happy to me!
13. If you don’t want people to be spicy, you have to be spicy at the end. Spicy to the highest point, with spicy in your heart, two people come to the mountains to compete to see who is spicy, you or me! ! The spicy word can be replaced with something else!
14. It is impossible for the wind to fall in love with the cloud. I fell in love with you, which is the sadness of my destiny. A morning without coffee is like life without you. When I understand what l-o-v-e is in my life, I know what love is. Can you add I-N-G for me?
15. People enjoy achievements during high times and enjoy life during low times!
16. If you don’t wear underwear, you will feel comfortable, and the people watching will also feel comfortable.
17. You don’t need to love a man, you just need to understand him, because men are all beasts. You don't need to understand a woman, you just need to love her, because women are all crazy. Men are beasts, but women prefer small animals.
18. There are only singers and actors who become famous overnight, but there are no hosts who become famous overnight!
19. Small wealth comes from frugality, middle wealth comes from diligence, and great wealth comes from heaven!
20. For those engaged in politics, NOnews is good news; for those engaged in the entertainment industry, Nonews is bad news.
21. If a woman is not drunk, a man has no chance; if a man is not drunk, a woman cannot tip; if both men and women are not drunk, no one will sleep in the hotel.
22. Those who spend money and those who make money can never be the same person.
23. I can’t give her happiness, but I can give her comfort; I can’t give her a lifetime, but I can give her once.
24. There are two types of people I hate the most, one is racist people, and the other is black people.
25. Businessmen have no nationality, and artists have no nationality!
26. The artist itself is a commodity. I have already pleased the audience, so why should I be trampled by others.
27. The most important thing a man gives to his family is to sacrifice his love.
Wu Zongxian's funny classic quotations
1. Distance is the killer of love, and time is the most hurtful. Time hurts us, but time also makes me heal. Time will not make you painless, but time only makes me happy. Get used to pain, love, it is dot-like. Look at the stars in the sky, scattered like little bright eyes
2. Mainland hosts are all pretty good, just like Duan Doing a show with a hot pot: I am not only afraid of burning others, but also afraid of burning myself.
3. There are always ups and downs in life.
4. The program comes and goes, the host comes and goes, but only true friends can last forever!
5. If a man is not drunk, how can a woman tip? If a woman is not drunk, how can a man have a chance? Neither the woman nor the man is drunk, so why is there anyone sleeping in the hotel?
6. What you eat during the day is soft food, but you work hard at night; if a man is not responsible, he still has to pay!
7. Men rely on eating, and women rely on sleeping. If they don’t eat or sleep, they will be scrapped immediately.
8. Very masculine. Very big is tailor-made according to certain organ characteristics of mine. You are older than me. I am older than you, which means our program is very long.
9. Time will not make people feel painless, time just makes you accustomed to pain.
10. True love only comes twice in a person's life. When you realize this truth, the first time has usually passed.
11. A friend of mine is a gang member and has a turtle shell tattooed on his back to protect himself from being chopped off. So every time I see him, I can’t help but touch his head.
12. If your happiness is my pain, then the pain is no longer pain. Pain for you is OK and happy to me!
13. If you don’t want people to be spicy, you have to be spicy at the end. Spicy to the highest point, with spicy in your heart, two people come to the mountains to compete to see who is spicy, you or me! ! The spicy word can be replaced with something else!
14. It is impossible for the wind to fall in love with the cloud. I fell in love with you, which is the sadness of my destiny. A morning without coffee is like life without you. When I understand what l-o-v-e is in my life, I know what love is. Can you add I-N-G for me?
15. People enjoy achievements during high times and enjoy life during low times!
16. If you don’t wear underwear, you will feel comfortable, and the people watching will also feel comfortable.
17. There are only singers and actors who become famous overnight, but there are no hosts who become famous overnight!
18. Small wealth comes from frugality, middle wealth comes from diligence, and great wealth comes from heaven!
19. For those engaged in politics, NO news is good news; for those engaged in the entertainment industry, No news is bad news.
20. Those who spend money and those who make money can never be the same person.
21. I can’t give her happiness, but I can give her comfort; I can’t give her a lifetime, but I can give her once.
22. There are two types of people I hate the most, one is racist people, and the other is black people.
23. Businessmen have no nationality, and artists have no nationality!
24. The artist itself is a commodity. I have already pleased the audience, why should I be trampled by others.
25. The most important thing a man gives to his family is to sacrifice his love.