Generally speaking, when making foreign friends, there are the following international practices.
1. Keep your promise. In interpersonal communication, "words must be done, and actions must be fruitful." It is a basic education that a person should have.
When dealing with foreign friends, you should keep your word, keep your promise, don't make promises casually, and don't break your word. Only in this way can the friendship between the two sides be consolidated.
2. Moderate enthusiasm. In interpersonal communication, China people have always advocated that friends should "know everything and say everything", and that "caring for others is more important than caring for themselves" and "your business is my business". However, in foreign countries, people generally advocate the supremacy of personality and oppose any form of interference in personality independence and violation of personality dignity. Too much concern for others, or too much intervention, will make the other side disgusted. Therefore, when dealing with foreign friends, we should not only be warm and friendly, but also respect each other's personal dignity and independence.
3. Respect privacy. Foreigners generally believe that in order to respect the individual independence of communication partners and safeguard their personal dignity, they must respect their personal privacy. Even among family members, relatives and friends, we should respect each other's privacy. Therefore, when dealing with foreign friends, we should consciously avoid any form of behavior involving each other's personal privacy. Don't take the initiative to inquire about the age, income, marriage, family, health, experience, address, native place, religious belief, political views, what you are busy with, etc.
4. Ladies are preferred. In foreign countries, especially in western countries, people pay attention to women first. It requires adult men to take the initiative to respect, care for and protect women in social situations and solve problems for women. People who can do this will be regarded as well educated.
5. Don't be too modest. In the eyes of foreigners, being a man needs self-confidence first. For personal ability and self-evaluation, we should seek truth from facts and dare to affirm it boldly. People who dare not admit their personal abilities and belittle themselves at will are in fact either true or hypocritical with ulterior motives. Therefore, when dealing with foreign friends, don't be too modest, especially don't sell yourself short to avoid being misunderstood.
Sometimes in contact with foreign friends, it is inevitable that I will encounter some scenes that I have never experienced or things that are difficult to deal with. At this moment, the best way is to wait and see, try to "follow the crowd" and be consistent with everyone.
At first, I was under the impression that Americans are like a little boy in China. Not only do they often say childish things, but they also speak casually. Compared with authentic English, American English is mostly unrestrained from pronunciation pinyin to grammar rhetoric. Americans are far from China's standard public image of "sitting like a clock and standing like a pine", especially American children, who are unruly, sloppy, lazy and neither sit nor stand; Whether you are familiar with it or not, an opening is' cough'! Then call them by their first names, even to grandparents. They have a simple meal and invite them to eat bread, eggs or Chinese food. They are equally happy. In order to improve their English, China students once deliberately shared a room with American students, and soon they became American free nannies: everything was littered, and the newly cleaned room was like a doghouse. As a result, China students soon moved.
After getting to know Americans a little, you will find that they are still as straightforward and lovely as big children. Americans pretend to be a people with a sense of humor. If you scold him for being uneducated and worthless, he will feel that you are burdened by material and reputation and feel sorry for you because you don't know the truth of life. But if you scold him for being dull and having no sense of humor, he will feel ashamed. Americans, regardless of age, gender, talk to each other all the time, all for fun and to make the language environment relaxed. Sometimes you see a group of people talking and laughing. You think it's a gathering of old friends, but in fact they haven't known each other for ten minutes.
For the American nation, it is very important to talk about credibility (of course, not all Americans are reputable people), because America's economic and social status is based on personal credibility. If you joke with him in this respect that he is unfaithful, he will immediately turn his face-Americans turn their faces when they say they turn their faces, and they have no pity.
body language
Use body language
After spending some time with Americans, you will notice that Americans are very particular about what they say. They pay attention to body language, especially the distance between eye contact and body.
We often see Americans shaking hands and kissing. American customs, men and women meet for the first time, just shake hands, kissing is the body language between good friends. The way to kiss is: between the same sex, the face touches each other's face, and then kiss in the air; Between the opposite sex, you can kiss each other on the cheek. Parents kiss their children on the forehead and cheeks.
Smiling and eye contact are very important when dealing with Americans. In public places, smiling eyes and greeting language have the same meaning. If a stranger walks up to you and smiles back at you, he will say' hello' or' hello', which is just a courtesy, but it doesn't mean that he will stop talking to you.
In China, it is impolite to stare at people. Americans will think you are evasive, insincere and untrustworthy if you don't look him in the eye. So when you talk to Americans, keep eye contact.
In addition, when talking with Americans, we should keep the distance between each other's bodies, and the scale of half a meter is better. If you talk to an American, he goes straight ahead, maybe you are too far away from him; If he keeps backing away, you may get too close to him.
All smiles are friends.
We are all friends.
The concept of friends is different in the United States and China. Americans can call people they know, acquaintances or even people they meet for the first time friends. There are many festivals and organized parties in America. Many people are happy to get together, maybe they have only known each other for a few minutes. In a sense, China's view of friends is similar to that of American brothers, sisters and close friends.
Many adults and children in the United States do not deny that they are not United with their brothers and sisters. There is no hard and fast rule among family members that the big one must help the small one. Parents treat their children with the same respect as their friends, and the law also stipulates that parents can't physically punish their children, so parents influence the next generation by reasoning with their children and setting an example by themselves. Their pleasure in raising children is to look at the growth of another life from a humanitarian perspective, so many Americans adopt other people's children, and many whites adopt Asian children or black children.
Americans are charitable, enthusiastic, honest, frank and easy to make friends. They always trust others first. However, once they feel that that person is wrong, no matter who is right or wrong, they will immediately turn against each other, and there is no room for him to explain. But if he realizes that he misunderstood afterwards, he will sincerely apologize to you and have no concern about losing face.
Beware of being considered gay.
Men do not hold hands. In America, women don't hold hands
Men and men, women and women are walking in the street. If you are not gay, don't walk back and forth on the main roads in America. Be friendly to Americans, and don't use the traditional China expression of hand in hand to show closeness. 1997, the famous American magazine Time Magazine published a photo of two girls walking side by side in the streets of China. As evidence of homosexuality in China, it can be seen that Americans know little about China customs.
When a man praises a woman's beauty, he is sometimes polite to you in the United States, just like an China person who asks if you have eaten, not necessarily because he is seduced by her beauty. Similarly, women can praise men. Common polite expressions are:
Between formal occasions and strangers:
Hello. Hello! Hi!
How are you? How are you?
The weather is very good today. The weather is very good today.
Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you!
Between acquaintances and colleagues:
You look good today. You look good today.
Your clothes are beautiful (or I like what you are wearing today). I like your dress/shirt (lady: dress man: shirt)
You are beautiful (mainly for women).
Don't touch American children and dogs without parents' consent.
Ask permission before getting too close to children or dogs.
Old people in China sometimes show their love for their children by giving them food and touching their heads with their hands. You should try to avoid these two points in America. Food in the United States is abundant and cheap, and civilians and even poor children are constantly eating snacks. Parents are very worried that their children are picky eaters and eat inferior advertising food. Ordinary parents will teach their children not to accept food from strangers. What they are worried about is not their rudeness, but that their children are poisoned by bad people. Touching the child's head doesn't like it, and parents won't be happy. Strangers in America must pay attention to keeping the distance between people.
Dogs in America are family members and as important as children. So, don't feed American dogs casually. In addition, many dogs are specially used to deal with strangers. Be careful of being bitten! American postmen are bitten countless times a month and have to carry a spray with them to deal with fierce dogs.
Don't ask Americans about their income and age.
Don't ask for personal information
Americans are very afraid of being asked about their income.
If you want to know the income of an American family, you can know the general situation by looking at what residential area the family lives in and what school their children go to. American food is cheap, cars are cheap, and housing is absolutely expensive. Most of the income of the average American family is spent on housing and tuition. Every city in the United States has rich areas, blue-collar areas and civilian areas. Each area is divided into three levels: upper, middle and lower. American primary and secondary schools are free, and private schools collect money. Different private schools charge different fees. Americans don't make money to save, what kind of money they earn and what kind of living environment they live in. Therefore, the general manager of a big company is likely to sell his existing house immediately after he loses his job, live in a poor environment, and his children will also transfer from private to public schools.
Americans are also very afraid of being asked their age.
Don't ask the age of Americans. Even if I did, ordinary Americans wouldn't tell you honestly. When attending an American birthday party, 40-year-old Xu Niang would say to celebrate his 28th birthday. Unless they have to fill in a form when applying for a job, they may not fill in their real age at that time, and the law also protects workers from filling in their exact age. To know the correct age of Americans, it is most accurate to look at their driver's license or passport. Passports and driver's licenses need their birth certificates to get them. But why do you need to know the age of others?
Generally speaking, how much is the house you live in and the car you drive? If you ask these questions to Americans, just as Shanghainese think you just got off the ship from Shiliupu Pier, they will think you are impolite.
The only thing that can be discussed publicly is the market situation of children's education expenses and travel expenses.
Politeness in public places
Don't talk loudly in public, and don't talk about private affairs in public.
In China, when we meet acquaintances, we will say hello loudly to show our enthusiasm. We should pay attention to this aspect when we come to America. Public places in the United States are relatively quiet, and people speak very quietly. They don't usually shout unless there is an emergency. See acquaintances also approached to say hello. When meeting in a restaurant, only the other party can hear clearly and don't make any noise. In addition, try to avoid talking about your family or children's private affairs in public.
People who walk in front often open the door for people behind. If they come to a door at the same time, men usually let women go first. Getting in and out of elevators is also a priority for women. Take the same road and try to let others go first. There are few pedestrians on the road. If someone passes by, whether they know it or not, if they are in the business circle, they will usually say sorry and go there again. If you are in a tourist area, you usually say hello (hi, hello, good morning, good afternoon and good evening) and then walk away. When you need someone else's service, first of all, pay attention to whether there is someone in front, don't cut in line, and don't interrupt others. If men and women walk together, men are used to walking on the side near the road. This habit stems from the fact that when society is underdeveloped, carriages often splash mud on dirty women's long skirts, which is a gentleman's behavior to protect women.
Sorry, thank you.
After receiving the service, always say thank you and say sorry to attract attention.
Sorry, thank you. Before asking for directions and asking questions, you must first say you are sorry. If you want attention, you must say you're sorry. If you want to pass by a person, he is only one arm away from you. Don't forget to say sorry when you pass by. Someone stood in your way and didn't notice. If you say you're sorry, others will get out of the way. Don't push others with your hands. In America, people pay attention to the distance between their bodies. Exceeding a certain distance will give people a sense of aggression.
China people have a tradition of not thanking their loved ones. Thank you. Welcome. In America, it is different. Between husband and wife, between parents and children, you should say thank you for any help, especially for outsiders. Even when the mother adds food and clothes to the child, the child will habitually say thank you when accepting it. When a husband eats the food cooked by his wife, he always says thank you at the end and praises the delicious food. In America, if you accept anyone's service, whether paid or unpaid, you must say: thank you!
Cosmetic products
Table manners
With the economic development of Taiwan Province Province and Chinese mainland, more and more China people travel to the United States. Many businessmen are invited to dinner on formal occasions. The following are the differences between China and America:
People in China pay attention to the quality of food, while Americans pay attention to the quality of the environment.
Clinking glasses is a must for China people. Americans make no difference between toasting and clinking glasses or drinking by themselves.
People in China eat more food to show their warm reception to Americans, as long as they are full.
Americans don't know how to use chopsticks and make a fool of themselves in China restaurants. Similarly, many people in China don't know how to use knives and forks in western restaurants.
Western food is not rich in food, but rich in utensils.
Generally, each person has a bowl, one large and one small, two plates, a knife, two forks and two spoons.
Bowls are used to hold soup, saucers are used to hold lettuce, and knives are used to cut food on your plate, such as fish and meat.
Fork, the one far from the bowl and basin eats lettuce, and the one near it eats lettuce.
Spoons, the big ones are for soup and the small ones are for snacks. On formal occasions, meals are provided to diners. If you are a guest of an American family, there is usually a public party. Guests are not allowed to carry food with their own knives and forks.
American recipes are usually:
Before meals, such as spring rolls belong to this category;
Lettuce and soup;
Staple food, beef, pork, chicken or fish and seafood, usually only one of them, and then served with bread, noodles or rice;
Dessert, cake, ice cream or fruit;
Drinks, there are all kinds of strong and weak drinks.
Ice water is free.
Everyone will have a napkin, which can be placed on his chest or on his thigh.
When you eat, you are forbidden to talk with rice in your mouth, and you are also forbidden to dance with a knife and fork like Tan Xing. Don't make any noise when drinking soup, and don't lift the soup bowl to drink. When the soup reaches the bottom of the bowl, tilt the bowl forward and scoop it up with a spoon. When eating noodles, roll the noodles into a bite size with a fork and send them to your mouth instead of sucking them with your mouth.
After dinner, people in China don't think much of burping, and they can even be regarded as satisfied with the host's hospitality. In America, this is considered impolite. So if you really can't hold back, cover your mouth with a napkin and burp, and then say sorry to your deskmate.
In addition, in dining occasions (or any occasion), try not to pick your nose, do your hair or scratch your ears, which will be considered rude and uneducated.
When you say goodbye, you may still be hungry even if the food served by the host is not to your liking, but from a polite point of view, you must say that the food is delicious and say goodbye politely.
Attend an American party
Attend an American party
Americans have many opportunities to get together. It's also easy to attend parties in America. When the host invites you, don't forget to ask the reason for the party. If it's a Christmas party or a birthday party, don't forget to bring a gift. On other occasions, parties are very casual. Just ask the host what to bring. Sometimes they will say beer, fruit and lettuce. If the host says nothing, you can go home empty-handed. This is impolite for Americans. At present, the most popular party is the' dinner party' between relatives and friends, and each participant brings a kind of food to attend.
To attend a business party or dinner party, you should arrive on time, not more than 5 minutes in advance or late. Business lunch is the most common in America. The average person only has one hour for lunch, so we should grasp the time scale. For business meetings, it is best to arrive ten minutes in advance. Really can't. I'm gonna be late. Don't forget to call and say hello first, and then get there.
Attend a family dinner. Generally speaking, the host will indicate the time of the party when inviting. Do not arrive before the scheduled time. Maybe the host is still busy preparing. Stay no longer than the end time notified by the host. Gifts brought to dinner are usually wine, flowers and cakes.
Ordinary gatherings of relatives and friends
Baby shower: a party for new parents before the baby is born.
Baptist church: baptism; In the church, Christians are officially accepted as babies by God.
Bris: Circumcision: Jews circumcised a baby boy on the eighth day of birth, and relatives and friends participated in the celebration.
Bar Milzvah: adoption ceremony: a celebration ceremony held by Jews when boys and girls reach the age of 13.
Bachelor party: bachelor party: a party held by same-sex friends for friends who are about to get married, including the groom's bachelor party and the bride's bachelor party.
Thanksgiving party.
Christmas party: Christmas party
Cards and gifts
Send a thank-you card. If you are invited to a formal occasion or receive a gift from others, don't forget to send a thank-you card. This is a very basic etiquette in America, and teachers teach it when children go to kindergarten. Americans receive many gifts every Christmas and birthday, which is also the most profitable opportunity for greeting card merchants.
Send Christmas cards. From Thanksgiving to New Year, Americans give gifts and cards to each other. When sending a card, if the recipient is married, the card should indicate that it belongs to both husband and wife, even if you don't know the recipient's spouse. If the recipient is Jewish or Muslim, don't write "Merry Christmas" on the card, but write "Happy Holidays". Many American families use family photos to make holiday cards for relatives and friends.
According to traditional etiquette, people who send greeting cards during Christmas are:
Family members: parents, spouses and children.
Good friends and relatives
People who meet frequently.
People who rarely contact, but who come and go all the year round.
Colleagues who work together every day
Family doctors and dentists
During the festival, it is also the time to give gifts. Colleagues or secretaries of the company work together all the year round and help each other, and take this opportunity to thank them. Common expressions are: invite the other person to dinner, send flowers or send your favorite gifts.
Holidays are also the season for tipping. You should tip anyone who has served you personally or your family all the year round. For example, family nanny (usually 100 yuan), janitor, postman, teacher of children in your apartment, etc. (usually 5 to 20 dollars). As for personal beauticians, they usually give tips after cutting their hair, and more during the Chinese New Year.
American cultural etiquette
(1) Social Etiquette
Americans have the following four main characteristics in dealing with people.
First, easy-going, friendly and approachable.
Second, warm and cheerful, informal.
Third, he is not smart and likes humor.
Fourth, strong self-esteem and competitiveness.
(2) dress etiquette
Generally speaking, Americans usually don't dress well. Advocating nature, favoring looseness and paying attention to appearance to show personality are the basic characteristics of American dress. When dealing with Americans, you should pay attention to the following exquisite clothes of the other party so as not to leave a bad impression on the other party.
First, Americans attach great importance to the neatness of Italian clothes.
Second, you must take off your hat and coat when you visit Americans. Americans think it's a courtesy.
Third, Americans attach great importance to dress details.
Fourth, American women had better not wear black leather skirts.
Fifth, in the United States, if a woman casually takes off her shoes in front of a man, or shakes the hem of a skirt, it often makes people feel that she is deliberately seducing the other person.
Sixth, it is considered impolite for Americans to wear pajamas and slippers to meet guests or go out in such clothes.
Seventh, Americans believe that wearing heavy makeup when going out in public or putting on makeup in public will not only be considered uncultured, but also make people suspicious.
Eighth, people who wear sunglasses indoors are often regarded as "people who can't see the sun" by Americans.
(3) Catering etiquette
There are six commandments for Americans to eat:
First, no noise is allowed when eating.
Second, you are not allowed to take other people's food.
Third, smoking is not allowed.
Fourth, it is not allowed to persuade wine.
Fifth, it is not allowed to undress in public.
Sixth, don't say anything disgusting.