Min Min may lose her job again, just look at her boss's face. I heard that this is her third job, and she can't pass every internship.
I saw her at work in the boss's office that day: the boss told her that any phone call came in, saying that he was not in, leave your name and call back. Soon a phone call for the boss came in. She answered the phone and said, "Who are you? Oh, sorry, the boss is not in. " The other party seemed to hang up the phone angrily, and Min Min paused with the phone.
If it were me, I might hang up angrily when I heard the other person say this: Is he really not here? Did you hear that I was looking for him, so you said you weren't there?
If Min Min put it another way, he answered the phone and said, "Sorry, the boss is not here. Who is this, please? " Is it possible to avoid misunderstanding?
The same sentence, just change the order of speaking, the effect is very different. We talk every day, and people who speak well are of course popular everywhere. If they always "step on thunder", it is inevitable that their work will not be smooth and their popularity will be bad.
This so-called high emotional intelligence is talking, which is a good book to teach us to master speaking skills in the shortest time. The author Keiichi Sasaki is a top communication expert, advertising genius and copywriter in Japan. He was not good at communication and expression at first, but after numerous attempts and failures, he discovered the touching language mystery and became the first Japanese to win the American advertising award "Golden Pencil Award". The book he wrote has also become the designated training material for many world-renowned enterprises.
In this book, Keiichi Sasaki tells us seven ways to turn "no" into "yes". Let's study together.
1, whatever it wants.
This method is put in the first place because it is the most basic and useful speaking skill.
There is a scene in the movie "Happy Flight": when distributing meals, most passengers choose beef, resulting in a large surplus of fish. When the new stewardess was at a loss, an experienced senior solved the problem perfectly. She said to the passengers: "The machine supplies white fish fried with high-quality herbs, natural rock salt and raw black pepper rich in minerals, and ordinary beef." Later, most passengers took the initiative to choose fish.
The senior flight attendant solved the problems in her work perfectly by the speech method of "doing what she likes". She knew that people would definitely be more inclined to choose healthy and delicious food, so she focused on fish. If we are passengers and hear the stewardess say so, we will probably choose fish.
2. Observe what it hates
This method backfires and is very effective for people who are difficult to convince.
Naughty children are often seen running around in restaurants. In order to avoid disturbing other guests, it is generally difficult to get results even if the clerk asks the parents to take care of the children and let them return to their seats. Before long, the children will still be running around the restaurant.
What if I say my parents in another way? "The food just cooked is very hot. If you are hit by a child when serving it, it may cause serious burns. Can you get your child back to his seat? " Even if parents don't care whether their children will disturb other guests, they will care whether their children are in danger.
The danger of children is something that parents are worried about and don't want to happen. The message "Don't do this, because it's not good for you" is "make an example for others".
3. Freedom of choice
Giving the other person the freedom to choose is much more useful than asking directly. The key is that no matter which option the other party chooses, we can achieve our goal, and the other party will not feel compelled.
This method is often used in sales work. For example, when a clerk asks you "Do you want mango pudding or matcha ice cream for dessert", the effect is different from directly asking "Do you want dessert". The latter way of asking is that customers only want it if they want it, but they definitely don't want it if they don't want it very much, while the former usually chooses one from them as long as they don't hate desserts very much, and no matter which one they choose, they can achieve our sales target.
4. Longing for recognition
"Desiring to be recognized" can be interpreted as "respecting needs" in psychology, that is, a person can make achievements corresponding to the expectations of others. This method is very effective for both enterprises and families! Interpersonal relationships will also improve, using the "desire to be recognized", even if the other party is difficult to deal with, it will be willing to respond to expectations.
The wife hoped that her husband could help with the housework and said to her husband, "Please clean the windows, I am too busy." Her husband will feel forced to do something, even if he is willing to clean the windows, he will be extremely reluctant. Maybe he will even think, "I have work to do every day, and it is your duty to do housework." But if the wife says, "You can go to a higher place and polish the window a little", the effect will definitely be better than what she said before.
The desire for recognition is used here. Although this does not guarantee that the husband will clean the windows 100%, at least it will not make him feel unhappy.
5. You have to do this.
"You must" means telling each other that if others can't do it, you are the chosen one. Most people like this special feeling, and when they hear this, they will have a sense of superiority and be easily persuaded.
My friend is in charge of organizing the reception of the department. The priest said to him, "Last time, not everyone came, so this time we must call everyone." After careful consideration, my friend sent a message to all members of the department: "So-and-so, if you don't come, it won't be lively, only you must attend!" Of course, this message was not sent in groups, but was sent one by one by name. As a result, all the people went to the department reception that day. This is the way you have to use it.
Step 6 work together
It is human instinct to like doing things with others. If you make good use of this instinct, even troublesome requests can be easily persuaded.
My friend's father listens to her, but he just doesn't listen to one thing. He is very fat now. For health reasons, she and her mother have tried many times to persuade her father to exercise more, but it has no effect. One day, my friend told her father in another way. She said, "I miss fun running, but I'm afraid of being alone." Can you run with me? " The father doesn't want his daughter to be taken care of in danger. Coupled with what his daughter said, he finally moved the "mountain" of his father. At the same time, the skills of "learning from others" and "teamwork" are used here.
7. thanks
Thank you can make the other party have a vague sense of trust, and a thank you can narrow the distance between yourself and the other party and make it difficult for the other party to refuse.
For example, when a colleague asks you to "move this table", it is obviously not your responsibility, but it is definitely uncomfortable to be ordered by a colleague. But if you say, "help me move this table, thank you!" " Will it be easier for you to accept?
Psychological "reciprocal goodwill" refers to this situation, that is, "when a person receives goodwill, he will have the psychology of returning the goodwill of the other party."
The secret of expressing gratitude is that it is easy to persuade the other party to say "thank you" without making any thoughts and decisions after the request. Besides, when we hear the word "thank you", we will feel happier and more likely to help each other.
Throughout the ages, people who can't speak can hardly achieve great things, but those who can do it must have unique language skills. Speaking is really a skill. Well said, it will offend people everywhere. Are there any anecdotes about saying the wrong thing? Welcome to @ Rose Fence and learn oral skills together.