It's like jumping too high in the toilet

Dolphin sound, is that the sound you made with your hips during the audition?

Body powder fracture? Then you are scum.

Son, your education is prenatal education.

You are a grandson. He is also a grandson. Why are you such a grandson?

The face is flat and looks like a manhole cover.

You are trampled once a day, your bike.

It's okay. You are not afraid of boiling water.

Your best score in the draft is 5000 to 4900, and people call you elimination lang.

I don't think you can make it to the top three in the duet.

I am premature, nine months premature.

Second, "help or not"

You can walk here, but you walk beside the watch.

If you say so, can we still play together?

Aunt, where are you going to blow up the bunker?

An old lady of mine has been lying here for a long time. You think I am a pickpocket.

Then can I make it right?

I said the bumper. You said the tail root.

At this time, you are still more real than that three meters and two meters. Does it make sense?

Aunt, you are too naughty. Does your family know?

A person who falls down can still get up; People's hearts have fallen, and we can't help if we want to.

Third, "What can I say about you?"

Children are always close to their mothers. When I met my mother, I always said I was hungry, thirsty and clothed. When they see their father, they can only say: Dad, where is my mother?

I haven't heard anything about my visa to Thailand for a long time, and the result is Qin State.

When is the best time to buy a house? The year before last!

You put on stockings just to prove that you are so elastic!

I feel heavier at work than at the grave every day!

There are five elements missing from my life.

Fourth, "people are courteous"

Talking about money hurts feelings, and talking about feelings hurts money.

I'm going to have a wedding with your wife.

Press 1 for the first marriage, 2 for the second marriage and 3 for the third marriage.

Hello! Please hang up the phone.

Five, "I am such a person"

I'm not a potato, I'm a kiwi. What is the difference? Kiwifruit is hairy.

I am a writer, but I am not Mo Yan. I shut up.

My friends and I were shocked.

Let's be friends when your hair grows to your waist.

Classic Quotations of Spring Festival Evening in 2020 Year of the Horse

20xx Classic Quotations of Spring Festival Evening in the Year of the Horse

In July, a Spring Festival Gala of the Year of the Horse, which lasted for a long time, dispatched thousands of people and cost hundreds of millions, finally came to an end. It has been brewing for so long, no matter what the content is, it has left us a lot of well-known things!

1, grind a bitch in ten years.

2. At this time, two meters and three meters are more meaningful.

3. I am a premature baby, more than 9 months premature, and you are not pregnant.

I really have no choice but to play it back to you.

5, teasing Hua Shao to speak fast: the mouth is rented, are you in a hurry?

6. Auntie, where are you going to blow up the bunker?

7. Imitate the cute baby of "Where is Dad?". Dad, where are you going?

8, 1 I don't think you can make it into the top three of the doubles.

9, nothing, you are not afraid of boiling water.

10, you let people pedal your bike once a day.

1 1, your education is prenatal education.

12, the same grandson, how can it be such a grandson?

13, do you live to have sex?

14, toilet high jump-"too shit".

15, I drifted there for a long time.

16, systemic powder fracture? Then you are scum.

17, your best score in the draft is 5000 to 4900, and people have nicknamed you "elimination lang".

18, you can go this way, you go by the table.

19, let's just say that I have written big books before.

20. Why is it suddenly not cold and a little heartburn?

2 1, let me tell you this, the thief came to my house and left with tears in his eyes.

22. What is dolphin sound? The sound of your hips during the audition.

23, grandson! Sun: A room full of gourds. Do you think grandma is a snake spirit?

24. The face is flat and looks like a manhole cover.

25. Aunt, does your family know that you are so naughty?

26. Is it necessary to be big? Dinosaurs didn't go extinct as usual!

The most classic funny lines in the Spring Festival Evening of 2020

You're going to kill me

No requirements for hair?

My husband's name is chicken.

Bauhinia City belongs to him = Urban Management

The history museum is: from monkeys to people.

Good food is not afraid of being late.

You didn't join the women's football team all week.

More than 80 years old, several. . . Oh, they are all post-80s.

Robbed you, Somali pirates, right?

Neighbors, praising me, have a "wet" demeanor.

I am in grade three, you are in grade six, I am in grade six, and we are in the same class.

Although I lost a crooked tree, I gained a big forest.

It's okay. I care about you with such a big plate of jiaozi. Stay here.

In three hours, the ash machine will start to ash.

There is plenty of grass in the sea, so why look around? The quantity is small, not to mention the poor quality.

In those years without you, a 30-year-old girl accompanied me every year.

Liang Shanbo and Zhu Yingtai are classmates. They are all butterflies, but they just fly.

You finished your doctorate, my martyr.

Put on my black vest, US President Barack Obama.

The most painful thing in life is that money has not been spent after death.

The most painful thing in life is that people are not dead and the money is used up.

Chinese name: Yang Xiaoshen English name: Xiao Shenyang (anechoic sample

If you don't let me sing, I won't dare to let you serve.

I thank your eight generations of ancestors, and I will never let you be a ghost.

You didn't order one, so you want us to send one?

You said you didn't order it, but I posted one upside down.

Q: "You call your boss". A: "No".

You are very elegant.

Scottish flirting.

Dong Qing said, "Mr Ma's son Ma Ji. . . "

Honey, I'm at the bottom of the sea.

I gave my driver's license to the police It is white.

Village head, why are you sitting on the box again? Do you want to be a township head?

With the progress of society, the train speeds up, and Yao Ming's son can walk on and off.

You want to possess me, I want to possess you.

There is an old man in the camera who looks like you. Take a closer look, Samaranch.

Dare to fly a plane after drinking.

If you can't explain the truth clearly, how can you explain it clearly?

One, three, five, white, two, four, six and beer.

Ask me who I am, the little nanny as beautiful as flowers and pure as jade.

This is the spirit of nose to face.

The police have guns and the security guards have sticks.

Our security guard, that's the gray scenery of the capital. Our safety cement ash.

Why is his brother so careless? What does his brother do? You are an excellent young man.

I am a security guard in my heart, Niu. . .

Thirty years ago, people ate people, but now fans eat people.

This dog bit you. He is very proud.

How important it is to master a foreign language. . . (Dog barks)

If you ask me which one I am, I am an indomitable security guard.

There are bus lanes and Olympic lanes on our roads. Why not set up a drunken lane for easy management?

I hate arranged marriages.

Hey, can I cheat you of some money?

Are you out of your mind?

Teacher, do I look like a chicken?

I am a provincial, provincial fertilizer plant.

You can call me Xiao Hao or Da Jian. Don't be so stingy, show my character.

Why didn't you take our children when we left?

My father is on the list.

What mental illness is worth 100 yuan?

In fact, happiness is very simple. Don't always think about what you have, think about what you have.

Kangxi became king at the age of six. (It should be eight years old.

Can her sports car make up for running?

Wanted? Manager, are you from Guangdong?

What happens when silicon and water are mixed? Turtle soup

What should I do if the gas is poisoned? Have a cigarette to calm down.

So, grandma is mom's mom? That's grandma. Grandma is dad's mother.

Zhou Jie's Shuang Jie 18 broom handle may not be a cleaner, but it may be Harry Potter.

Are you in the head of gutter oil?

Please don't give me trouble.

Never pick on ordinary people.

You and your wife really match each other.

My wife will faint after listening to him.

Son, did you come through local TV or CCTV? Is the boss's daughter-in-law old now?

These eyes are really saving face. Are they original?

I don't care what she says.

Hello, this is the commercial bank ... Your bus card shows that you spent 8000 yuan in a different place.

You know I'm a liar and you've been talking to me for so long. What's your character?

Listen to me, I'm in your daughter's hand. No, well, I have your daughter, and I'm not your son-in-law.

What's the matter with sweeping the floor? It is not necessarily a cleaner who holds a broom. He could also be Harry Potter.

My brother is particularly miserable. He just found out that his son is not his own.

If you don't promise me, he will die for you.

Who is an outsider? The boss is an outsider.

Deliveryman: This box is yours and this box is Tingting's.

Liar: Why?

Deliverer: There is no gutter oil in this box. Tingting doesn't like to eat gutter oil.

Aunt Li: How did you work out this figure?

Box lunch delivery: Yes, my math scores have always been excellent. Bye, auntie!

Aunt Li: You are crazy.

————————————————————— The classic lines of the essay "Skynet Is Long"

You two are so close.

She lit the fire. Is she not born to light a fire?

So cheap, so cheap, so revealing my character.

Husband: Did you quarrel with someone again?

Wife: No, with the dog.

Wife: It barks at me!

Husband: You didn't bite?

Wife: It didn't bite me. Can I have a bite first? I don't care!

Husband: Atmosphere! Do good for dogs!

What a bitch: hello, is that dad?

Husband: Who is ... so polite?

Husband: What's your name?

What a bitch: Dad, take it now. Whatever you take, my name is.

Husband: eyeball

What a bitch: Dad! Look before you leap! Every hasty decision you make concerns my future. Give me a name!

I have repeatedly stressed that solid women can take the world!

I am engaged in the study of human epidermis (actually bathing) and the study of human epidermal dirt.

Husband: Wife, you go. Isn't there a cucumber in the refrigerator? Stir-fry four dishes for children.

Wife: Oh.

What a bitch: your family is very extravagant in entertaining guests.

Husband: Here is 100 yuan, compensation for mental damage.

What a bitch: which mental illness is worth 100 yuan?

This is a mistake. Go back to you two.

—————————————————————— The classic lines of the essay "Today's Happiness"

What substances can silicon and water produce? Asshole soup!

Gas, you know? Carbon monoxide is a toxic gas. What should I do if there is a gas leak at home? Have a cigarette to calm down.

Eating sugar cake will burn the back of your head.

Son, if you really like music, you don't have to learn piano, buy a piano and whistle (1992 Ge You's first sketch).

————————————————— Crosstalk "Struggle" Quotations

Niu Li: Is this new york?

Feng Gong: Is new york so peaceful?

Yan Xuejing: Your boss is almost 60, and your daughter-in-law is still so young?

Feng Gong: Is the boss's daughter-in-law old now?

Feng Gong: You will always be the beauty in my heart.

Niu Li: What about me?

Feng Gong: At best, it's a story about Diusim.

These eyes really save face space.

Niu Li: Who is young?

Feng Gong: You are still young.

Yan Xuejing: Why are you so young?

Feng Gong: She acted very young.

Yan Xuejing: What about me?

Feng Gong: How old?

The mouth is under his nose. Can I care what she says?

———————————————— Essay (cross talk drama) "Love on behalf of the driver"

Won't the fellow villagers say that their associates are finished?

What's your last name? My surname is Hao. How can you be surnamed Hao? My father's surname is Hao.

A: You are not a good person.

B: Say it again.

A: You are not a good person.

B: Say it again three times.

You are not a good person. You are not a good person. You are not a good person.

B: Say it again ten times.

———————————————————— The essay "Interview"

Who later unified the six countries? Jing Ke.

Crossing, crossing, conquering everything.

—————————————————— "Jing Ke Stabs Qin" essay

Classic lines of ten-year love

Guide: Why does ten years of love seem a bit cruel? Those intrigues, intrigues, flattery, even emotional betrayal and emotional separation are all difficult for us to experience. It's really like a line in Chinese Partner: Did we change the world or did the world change us?

1, we all meet the people who want to promise most when we are least able to promise others, and we also meet the people who want to keep most when we have to move forward for our ideals.

Many times I say I don't like it because I can't get it.

Everything is planned, but I didn't expect that you were not in my plan at all.

The experience of survival proves that dignity and freedom are not the most important things. Whether you can get 1300 yuan on time every month is the key.

In this city, in this era, whoever sells himself most thoroughly will get ahead, otherwise, you have no hope.

6. Ten years later, who is crying, who is laughing, who is in heaven and who is in hell.

There are only two kinds of companies in the world, one you hate and the other you don't like.

8. If you love him and send him to Shenzhen, he may make a fortune; If you don't love him, send him to Shenzhen and he will betray you.

9. It doesn't matter where home is, what matters is that you are enough.

Ten years ago, you wanted to change the world. Ten years later, the world has changed you.

1 1, I just miss you so much that I don't want to be alone. We just want to lie quietly beside you and watch you quietly.

12, such feelings may only happen once in a lifetime, and there will never be a second time!

13, there is no one here to mix with anyone, only to fight alone, and those who can't mix will get out. If you work in an office, you must learn to be a man with your tail between your legs. It's not your turn to show off

14, the water in society is too deep, and you won't know where to stand until you go down.

15, money has the same magic as time to change a person, and money is especially terrible.

16, no matter how deep feelings can resist the desire for money and power. Love will eventually be defeated by ambition and greed.

17, you can catch the wind, I can catch you.

18, don't be emotional in everything, it will hurt your feelings.

19, I don't care if you are poor, I only have you in my heart. It makes people cry, probably only the love of that era will be so pure.

20. What a happy thing abortion is!

2 1, I am not afraid of anything. My only fear is that I can't let you live a good life, and I can't keep my promise.

22. I don't want that much money, I just want you.

Editor's Note: The most touching line in this TV series is that when Xiao Ran mistakenly thought that Han Ling was going to commit suicide, he was anxious and shouted, "Han Ling, don't leave me!" The feeling that the whole world is only dependent on each other instantly moistens my eyes. Life is so hard, fate likes to play tricks on people, and career and feelings are sometimes really a dilemma. Your ambition should have been a good thing. It's not easy for a woman, so please cherish the woman who really loves you.