When one of the spouses dies, I personally think that the other spouse can attend the other's funeral. When the neighbor's husband died, his wife and relatives ran before and after. Luo Zhang's husband died and bought him a wreath. Besides, his wife also went to the crematorium with the car at the funeral. When her son held his father's portrait in the mourning hall, his wife stood beside him! And I followed the car to the cemetery where my husband's urn was buried! At that time, her husband's family opposed her going to the crematorium from the beginning, let alone the cemetery, and told her many reasons why she shouldn't go, saying that her husband would take his wife's soul away, but her wife wanted to give her husband a ride out of love for her husband, so she didn't think about anything, didn't listen to anything, and stuck to her thoughts for her husband from beginning to end. I don't think she shed a tear. Such a strong woman calmed down after seeing her husband off, but cried for many days. So far, she has led two children to live. She and her children both have jobs, and the children are very obedient, mom. The family has resumed their old life. She told me that a year later, she and her children went to the cemetery in person to make sure that she missed her husband day and night! May her husband live in heaven and know that his wife is faithful to him! Now the family is happy, happy and safe!
The customs of old Beijingers. They are generally not allowed to go. There are many considerations.
First, when one spouse dies, the other spouse is hit hard, which has a great physical and mental impact. If you let him (her) go to the funeral, it must be very sad under any circumstances. In order to protect the health of the surviving family. Generally speaking, he or she is strongly advised not to go.
Second, the general cemeteries in Beijing are now the same cave for husband and wife. Is to reserve a place for the surviving couple to be buried with the deceased. If the widow sees the grave she will bury in the future. I might feel something from my heart.
Thirdly, there was another situation in the past, that is, family members usually went to funerals, and the person in charge of the family could not be absent. In case someone comes to pay homage, someone should accompany him at home to avoid being impolite.
I want to ask why I can't go.
It is necessary to send the last journey.
No matter how long they live,
Whether we are happy together or not,
I must have experienced it, a one-night stand couple,
A hundred days' grace, even if there are more grievances, if people leave, everything will be over, and we will send the last journey together and bury it together.
My wife died young because of illness. I sent her to the end. Every time I go to Tomb-Sweeping Day, I go to see her in person and miss her very much.
Lunan custom, widows don't attend each other's funerals.
Lunan custom, the old man died at home, and there was a mourning hall in the middle of the hall, and the wake lasted for three days. Relatives mourned with fire paper and bid farewell to the body. Three days later, the remains were cremated, the ashes were placed in the mourning hall, and a funeral was held on a certain day. Relatives presented gifts to attend the condolence ceremony, and relatives of the deceased sat down to thank their relatives.
In ancient times, the East was superior and the West was inferior. During the wake (mortuary and ashes stop), the dutiful son (the son of the deceased) sits on the east side of the coffin, which is called "coffin east". After the relatives expressed their condolences, Mr. Bai walked out of the mourning hall with his dutiful son and kowtowed to thank him.
The daughter-in-law and daughter of the deceased sat at the wake in the west of the coffin, which is called "the west of the coffin".
Most nephews are adults, understand etiquette and have strong ability to handle affairs. Under the leadership of general manager Bai, they sent funeral invitations to relatives' homes and were busy entertaining relatives.
Grandchildren are mostly minors, kneeling under the shed set up in the courtyard.
The widow (the husband or wife of the deceased) lived in the East Hall of the mourning hall from beginning to end and was comforted by her relatives. Whether it is a wake, cremation or funeral, you will not attend the funeral.
Why? No one has explained it, but existence is reasonable. The custom that has been passed down for thousands of years has its own reasonable side.
I've discussed this issue—
Those who drag out an ignoble existence are dead! I am afraid that the survivors will see things and think of feelings, and I am very sad.
The wife was lying on a stretcher, attending the funeral of her husband and daughter. The scene is very sad.
20 10 at 4 o'clock in the morning on May 9, the youngest daughter Zhu Zhu complained of a stomachache, and Shine Wong and her husband Chen Weining drove her daughter to the hospital, leaving her eldest daughter Pearl Krabs alone at home.
Wang Hui their car stopped at the intersection waiting for the traffic lights, and suddenly there was a loud noise. I don't know what happened. Wang Hui's family was knocked out more than 20 meters away with people and cars. The car was severely deformed and the hatchback became a carriage. The life and death of a family of three in the carriage is uncertain.
The ambulance took away Wang Hui's family of three. Unfortunately, her husband Chen Weining and daughter Zhu Zhu died of their injuries. Wang Hui, the only survivor, was in a coma for three days and nights before waking up.
The first thing Wang Hui asked after waking up was, "What happened to Weiming and Zhu Zhu?"
The family lied to her and said, "Of the three people, she was the most seriously injured. Wei Ming and Zhu Zhu are in ICU wards of other hospitals. She has recovered well and is out of danger, so she can go to see them. "
In order to reassure Shine Wong, the family hid Shine Wong's mobile phone in the ward and turned off the internet, hoping to tell her husband Weiming and daughter Zhu Zhu the news of their death when Shine Wong was in stable condition.
In order to see her husband and daughter as soon as possible, Shine Wong ate very hard and cooperated with the doctor. She once suspected that her husband and Zhu Zhu might be gone, but she convinced herself that as long as she didn't see them, there was still a glimmer of hope.
A psychologist learned about Wang Hui's experience on the Internet. He wants to help Wang Hui get rid of her pain. He came to Wang Hui's ward with a newspaper. Only then did Wang know that her beloved husband and daughter had left her. At that time, Wang Hui was covered with steel plates. A little excitement would spread to other parts of the body, and the pain was unbearable. But she had to accept the cruel truth.
Two months later, the funeral of her husband and daughter was held in the funeral home, and the family didn't want her to attend. After all, she couldn't get out of bed at that time, and she was even more afraid of seeing her husband and daughter too excited.
On the day of the funeral, Wang Hui wore a protective cover around his neck and a plaster cast on his leg. Lying on a stretcher, Wang Hui still couldn't move, and was carried down from the ambulance by relatives and friends.
Relatives hold Wang Hui's hand to comfort Wang Hui. Wang Hui tries to restrain his emotions and try not to get too excited. The conversation between Wang Hui and his father makes everyone present cry.
Wang Hui said, "Dad, I feel fine."
Dad gave Wang Hui a thumbs-up and said, "Dad sent you four words-no matter how smart a person is, he is stupid." Dad repeated it twice, telling it to Wang Hui and telling it to himself.
"Dad supports you, Mom supports you and our whole family supports you." Dad continued to encourage Wang Hui.
Shine Wong was carried by relatives and friends on a stretcher to bypass the coffins of her husband and daughter. Wang Hui doesn't even have the strength to lean sideways. She could only hold back the pain, cocked her head slightly, glanced at her lover and bid farewell to her husband and daughter Zhu Zhu.
They are different in peacetime, not like them. Weining's face is too white, and Zhu Zhu is too quiet. I want to get close to them, hold Zhu Zhu, hold Weining's hand and kiss my lover and baby, but I can't. The last side is separation of life and death.
No matter how local customs are, whether relatives and friends accept it or not, it is Wang Hui's greatest wish to see her husband and daughter off for the last time, and it is also her must-do farewell, otherwise she will regret it for life.
Wang Huiben has an enviable family. She and her husband are both from high flyers, Peking University and Tsinghua. They have twin daughters.
A car accident destroyed the family. She was separated from her husband and daughter Zhu Zhu forever, and she had to face long-term rehabilitation treatment herself. And this injury, after many years, Wang Hui still failed to come out.
Husband Zhou Nianji:
Valentine's day:
Wang Hui always said:
That funeral was Wang Hui's formal farewell to her husband, but the real farewell can only be forgotten by time.
According to the custom in our hometown, one spouse dies and the other cannot attend the funeral.
Generally, the other party will be in their own room, comforted by relatives and friends. Whether it is a wake, cremation or funeral, the other party will not appear at the funeral.
Why can't you attend each other's funerals?
Some people say that they are afraid that the other party will be too excited and have an accident;
Some people say that they are afraid that the other party will follow each other soon after attending the funeral;
Some people say it's not good for remarriage.
No matter what the reason, no matter how to respect the custom or the heart, whether to attend the funeral or not, we should remember that the dead are gone, and the living should be strong and live well.
I shouldn't be able to attend because the death of the other party has brought him (her) great pain. In order to avoid accidents, I don't usually invite another person to attend each other's funerals. I have a deep understanding. One of my sisters died in her seventies. Let's go to offer our condolences. Brother-in-law doesn't talk or laugh, but his speech is normal and thoughtful. When my sister's coffin was carried out of the house, my brother-in-law suddenly hid his face with his hands and sat down on the ground, sobbing and panting. At this point, we understand that the calm in front of people just now is an illusion, and this is the real feeling. He is also an old man in his seventies. Do you think he can attend the funeral?
According to the custom, I won't go to my hometown. It's easy to follow me when I go, which is not conducive to remarriage. I go where I live, and I seldom pay attention to it.
Do your duty. According to the marriage law, husband and wife have the obligation to support each other. Therefore, the spouse who walks behind is legally and morally responsible for the other spouse's good death. After all, we have been together for many years. How can we be heartless if people are not vegetation?
I feel too sad to attend, otherwise everyone should go. In real life, it is estimated that men go more, because men should be stronger than women.