Most Miao women wear bracelets and earrings, big collars and silver locks on their chests, and some also hang silver beads of different lengths, which are luxurious and rich.
First, about "engagement".
Pairing: It is a way for Miao young men and women to fall in love and talk about marriage. Every year from the first day to the fifth day, Miao people celebrate Huashan Festival. Young Miao men and women sing and dance with each other, and those who find the object are called "pairs". On the last day of Huashan Festival, the strung-up "pairing" decided privately for life and went home to tell their parents.
Proposal: After the young man told his parents about the object he had found, the man asked the matchmaker to propose to the woman's house after 37 days.
Engagement: The matchmaker takes the corresponding items to the woman's house as a meeting gift, and after reaching an agreement with the woman's parents on the marriage, the wedding date is determined, which generally does not exceed half a year.
Marriage: After the wedding date is determined, the woman prepares her own dowry and waits for marriage.
Second, about "getting married".
"Getting married" is also called "grabbing marriage", "dragging sisters" and "grabbing sisters". This forced and importunate marriage custom has not adapted to modern civilized society and has been gradually eliminated.
Miao boys meet Miao girls on the road. If the girl is attracted, whether the girl likes it or not, the young man can take the girl back to his home, propose to the matchmaker within three to seven days, and hold a wedding reception on the wedding day. The girls have been the young man's wives since the day they were robbed.
Third, about "recognizing marriage".
In Miao village, the whole village knows which family has children. The father or mother who gave birth to a son ran to the door of another house when giving birth to a child in a neighbor's house. If the neighbor's house is a "girl", he will say loudly, "My son admits it!" "From then on, two children is equivalent to admit the engagement. When the little girl was three years old, she was raised by the man and grew up with the boy. Until she was eighteen years old, the two sides got married, held a wedding banquet, and gave her a "meeting gift" to recognize her friends.
Fourth, about "marriage".
The marriage customs of Miao people in Nayong county are more common and more complicated than their marriage, including four processes: marriage proposal, engagement, engagement and marriage.
Marriage proposal: Miao youth get to know each other through social activities such as "Flower Mountain", "Rushing to the Street", meeting, going up and down the mountain, and then fall in love. Once love is mature, it will naturally attract parents, and the man's family will ask the matchmaker to accompany the young man's uncle to bring wine to the woman's house to propose marriage. If the woman is interested, she will immediately drink to express her "willingness" and invite the matchmaker to discuss the gift money, wedding date, dowry and other matters. Gift money includes valuable silver, milk money, excrement cloth, wine, meat and so on.
Appointment: If the woman's family is willing to marry the man, according to the date agreed at the time of marriage, the man's family will send the pig to the woman's family, and the woman's family will invite her to dinner to complete the "appointment", that is, engagement.
Wedding: If the man wants to invite his wife, the matchmaker must go to the woman's house two months in advance to discuss the reservation, and the woman's house will hold a banquet to decide the wedding date.
Wedding ceremony: the man's family chooses an auspicious day, and the matchmaker informs the woman's family to prepare for a new life two days ago. On the wedding day, the young man's uncle picked two chickens in a birdcage, brought gifts of silver, led the groom, accompanied Lang and a happy couple, picked two young men at noon, and accompanied by a matchmaker, went to the woman's house to get married. After staying at the bride's house for one night, the groom's uncle gave the gift money to the bride's uncle and his parents. The next day, my uncle sent a chicken to the woman's house and brought it back, thinking that the bride had a soul and took the bride to the man's house from generation to generation. At this time, nine people from the woman's family and relatives were sent to the man's house and left after noon. Arrived at the door of the man's house, stopped the door and set three seats, one for pig liver, one for pig, one for tofu and one for cigarette. In the farewell room, the couple is on the left and the matchmaker is on the right. After dinner, they enter the room, sit in the main hall and entertain guests with tea. After visiting the church, all the people and a couple will be greeted and a grand handover ceremony will be held. The handover ceremony will be sung by the "elders" of both sides in the form of duets to express their wishes. After singing, the bride was officially handed over to the man's house. In the evening, a bonfire is lit indoors, and friends and people who greet relatives sit around the bonfire, talking about the usual duets or solos and having fun. Only those who see the bride and groom off are not allowed to leave without permission. We must stay with them until dawn and send them away after breakfast.
Huimen: Miao nationality; There is no limit to the date of return visit, and it should be carried out before delivery. On this day, the man's parents or brother and sister-in-law handle brown sugar. A liter of fried noodles and two pounds of white wine led the couple to the woman's house. Stay with the girl for a few days. The woman's house is carrying her daughter's waist, and the son-in-law's shoes and hats go to the man's house to recognize the door. After being entertained by the man's family, they have been coming and going since then.
The Miao people's worship ceremony is presided over by the groom and the accompanying Lang, and the bride does not attend. The rule is that elders sit in the middle and peers sit around. The groom and the accompanying lang bowed and toasted in turn according to their age, and sat down for dinner after the ceremony.
Miao widows can remarry, but if the married children want to change their father's surname, they must get the permission of their ex-husband and give a chicken as a ceremony to change their surname.
Marriage custom of Miao nationality
Most Miao areas have a high degree of autonomy in marriage, and Miao youth everywhere have traditional forms of free social activities with the main purpose of choosing a spouse. Xiangxi is called "rushing to the edge of the field" or "meeting girls", Qiandongnan Miao people are called "tourism", Guangxi Rongshui is called "sitting sister" or "walking in the village", Qianxibei is called "stepping on the moon", and the Miao people in central Guizhou and some western regions are called "jumping flowers" and "jumping fields". In this social activity, young men and women can sing and talk in groups of three or five or individually, openly or quietly. Love in duet is the most representative and national custom in Miao marriage custom culture. Some Miao communities also have places where young people fall in love, such as Youfangping in southeast Guizhou and Girls' Room in northeast Yunnan. Miao youth pay more attention to personal talent and character than property and family.
After finding the right lover, the two sides can exchange tokens. Marriage usually requires the consent of parents. In most Miao areas, the independent marriage of young people and the arranged marriage of parents coexist. These two situations are not necessarily irreconcilable contradictions, just to see which tendency is more serious. Generally speaking, parents and children respect each other and seek advice from each other. Few people are forced to get married. Moreover, social customs allow and maintain young people's free choice. Therefore, it is more common for parents to preside over marriage after free love. The specific steps are: the young people discuss it well, and after the man asks his parents for advice, he asks the matchmaker to go to the woman's house as a matchmaker. Under normal circumstances, the woman's parents will not object, and sometimes they will use chicken divination to decide whether marriage is feasible. Once the matchmaker is engaged, the two sides will discuss the wedding date and dowry. Before marriage, the man must send a sum of money or other property to the woman's uncle's house, which is called "uncle money". If parents disagree, young men and women can elope and seek the support of relatives or social forces. Over time, parents will admit a fait accompli. Of course, some people obey their parents' orders, and a few have caused emotional tragedies because of their parents' arrangements.
There is also a form of robbing marriage or a similar form of robbing marriage. If young men and women are willing to become lifelong partners through free love, the man will invite several friends or brothers to bring or "rob" the woman to his home one night, which is marriage. Three days later, an old man who was "all blessed" was invited to take a chicken to "report the marriage" to the woman's parents and ask them to admit the marriage. Then the two sides agreed on the date and specific matters of the wedding.
The marriage age of Miao youth is generally between 16 and 20 years old, and there are also early marriages, about 145 years old. Couples who marry early usually can't live together until they are adults. In the choice of marriage, the same clan (the same surname) does not marry, giving priority to cousins, and different generations do not marry. There is basically no intermarriage between different ethnic groups, even between different branches of Miao nationality. In many areas, Miao people have the custom that the newlyweds live in different rooms on the wedding day, and the bride spends the first night with her best man and the groom's sister. In some places, weddings are mainly held in the woman's home. Miao people in Qiandongnan have the custom of "staying at home" (sitting at home), that is, the bride will stay at her parents' home after returning home, only after being summoned on holidays or busy farming, and will not stay at her husband's home before pregnancy. Sit at home for a year or two to four or five years.
After marriage, you can divorce because of emotional disagreement and other reasons. Generally speaking, the party filing for divorce must make up for the losses caused to the other party. Widows can remarry, and in some places there is a custom of transferring houses. Generally, the same generation transfer, but not mandatory. Miao nationality is a monogamous family. The nuclear family and the main family are the main family structures in Miao society. Men and women have equal status before and after marriage, and women have a certain say in family affairs, but on the whole it is still a patriarchal society. Children's descent comes from the father, the descent is calculated according to the paternal line, and family property is inherited according to the paternal line. The Miao nationality has a father-son joint system, which is typical in southeastern Guizhou now, and many other areas no longer exist. Miao people have their own national surnames, and now most of them adopt Han surnames.