During the National Day, my sister and brother-in-law decided to go to Xiamen University to visit their daughter who was studying there. Two or three days before departure, they began to make preparations. When they left, they mixed two big bags, including steamed sausages, our local specialty "March Ba", local specialty "bean curd skin" and "spicy beef jerky" fried with local fresh beef, and so on. They were all daughters.
Usually, the couple mix canteens in their respective units, one is to save food expenses, and the other is to be troublesome. Only when cooking for their daughters do they leave them alone. Her husband is responsible for purchasing ingredients. When she goes to the street, her sister repeatedly urges her to buy the best, so don't be reluctant to part with money. My wife is responsible for cooking, from washing and cutting to steaming, boiling and frying. Others should not interfere, so we should do it ourselves.
Next door to our two families, we bought a homestead together when repairing the house, and then repaired the house together, so that it was convenient for relatives to move around in the future. Sisters are close. If there is any movement, it is better to take care of each other at the first time.
Before leaving, I asked my brother-in-law, "Did you call Qinqin?"
The brother-in-law proudly replied: "I just had a video call on the 27th. Qinqin said that she would prepare for the postgraduate entrance examination and would not go home on National Day. Her mother said she was too lazy to call her again. We plan to give her a surprise. " Their daughter's name is Yang Qin. She studies very well. She was admitted to Xiamen University four years ago, majoring in clinical medicine. I heard that she took the postgraduate entrance examination one year in advance.
10/On the morning of October, I asked my son to drive them to Liping airport and get on the plane. That night, I received a phone call from my sister. I thought it was safe. Who knows that she cried at the other end of the phone, and when she called her sister, she choked badly. It took me a long time to make it clear that she was happy to see her daughter, but it turned out to be embarrassing for her parents.
My sister said on the phone, "Sister, Qinqin, a heartless thing, is not happy to see us. On the contrary, she looks disgusted, impatient and full of complaints. She also accused us of interrupting her life without her permission. Her father said that your mother missed you, so we came. " I listened to her quietly and didn't make any noise.
After a pause, my sister went on to say, "After listening to her father, this heartless guy actually said that we were completely emotional and had no appearance. Besides, what do you think? I just met you by video the other day! Wechat every day, still looking for this childish excuse. Say that we are too naive and that we don't know how to respect people. " After listening to my sister's phone call, I immediately thought, how can we get such care from our parents when we go out to study? Not to mention that our parents came to visit our school in person, and we were very happy to receive letters from our parents. We can't bear to put it in the drawer for many days, because it smells like our relatives and smells and carries comfortably.
The next day, my sister and brother-in-law went home sullenly, and stayed for one night after such a long journey. After that, I spent the whole National Day holiday at home, full of grievances, wondering where my parents were wrong.
Second,
Looking at the love experience of my sister and brother-in-law, apart from sympathy, I was also lost in thought.
There is nothing wrong with "love", it is the innate instinct of animals, whether they are advanced animals or low-level animals. Whether it is "love" between relatives or "love" between the opposite sex, it flows in both directions.
"Love" can be sublimated, and the sublimated love is more beautiful and noble. And "knowing love" and "knowing love" are the sublimation of love.
Although instinctive love is good, its benefits can only be limited to lower animals, because lower animals don't need storylines, and all their "love" comes from nature and won't cause harm. Therefore, there is no need to try hard to figure out and elaborate. All the details of love are clear and crystal clear.
However, it is different to interpret love in complex human beings. "Love" is a noble emotion flowing in the blood, and it is a two-way flow of giving and taking. If it is only unilateral giving, and there is no response, this kind of "love" is incomplete and incomplete.
"Love" is a very positive emotional expression. "Knowing love" is not only a practical action of love, but also a pleasant experience for both sides, which can stimulate and enhance the generation and transmission of healthy emotions. For example, when a person is in trouble, he will get good help. After getting out of trouble, in addition to gratitude, he will pass on this idea of "love". Because he understands the value of kindness.
Third,
"Love" needs to turn the surging feelings in the heart into visible, tangible and tasteful external forms with physical objects or actions. "Knowing love" includes the form of giving and the cognitive degree of receiving love, as well as the emotional feedback interaction between "giving love" and "receiving love" and their enthusiasm. I think it is most appropriate to use a word "understand" to say how to give love. In other words, it is very important for the object who gives love that the time and intensity of giving love are just right.
Flowers don't like to listen to love songs, and they don't like to recite them affectionately, no matter how affectionate. Flowers want to go to the gentle breeze and drizzle of nature, as well as the green, fat, red and thin in the sun.
I remember that when I first moved into my new house, "burning the bottom of the pot" was popular here. On the day when I move into a new house, my relatives and friends will buy something as a gift, and then everyone will have a reunion dinner to express their congratulations. At that time, someone gave me a cactus with many orange flowers. It is said that cacti with flowers of this color are rare. Looking at those delicate cactus flowers, I feel like I am in heaven, and I like them very much. Watering is the first thing to do when you get up every day. Who knows, excessive doting soon ruined their lives. Not only did the flowers bloom, but also the roots of the cactus rotted. This matter has troubled me for a long time, and I have learned a lot about flower cultivation, pruning, watering and fertilization.
Fourth,
The cactus was finally killed because of the wrong way to give love.
Later, I learned that food is the first important thing when people are hungry. When you are lonely, the companionship given by relatives and friends is an expression of "love", so we should grasp it in time.
When the baby eagle is eager to fly, the mother eagle's "love" is to rationally choose to let go, then wait and see from a distance and encourage the baby eagle to take off with her eyes and heart. Wait, wait, it should be called "love". The fault of my sister's brother-in-law should be that my daughter used to shelter her from the wind and rain when she was a child, so that she wanted to continue to do everything for her when she grew up. Just as an old hen protects her chicks, it is absolutely impossible to protect them under her wings forever. If the chicken is full-fledged, it wants to eat its favorite bugs.
My sister and brother-in-law never thought about what would happen if one day her parents died and she could no longer shelter her daughter from the wind and rain and was knocked down and destroyed by society.
I advised my sister. My brother-in-law said, "Just let go and don't be too strict. Your letting go is to teach her to fight the wind and rain. With her own self-defense, she will have a good life after we die for a hundred years. Think about it, without parents, who can she rely on at that time? At any time, the most reliable is only yourself. "
In fact, only teaching children the ability to resist the cold in time is the wisest "love".
If you don't "love" and don't understand love because of "love", it will hurt the person you "love", which is the saddest and most distressing thing.
"Love" is not the reason for injury. There is only one word "love", which is barren in a colorful world. For hungry people, rice is not edible, but firewood, water, pots and pans, etc. And rice can be cooked into rice for a perfect meal. Therefore, only those who can "love" and "understand love" can make love have soil, take root, sprout, branch, sprout and blossom.