Propose to the woman's family through the media. If the woman's parents agree, they will get the girl's date of birth, which is usually called post. Ask an astrologer or fortune teller to get married. If the birth dates of the two men and women are harmonious, the two men and women will discuss their marriage through a matchmaker.
The appointment information is transmitted by the matchmaker, and the two parties agree on the engagement fee and decide the date of appointment, commonly known as "the next big post". The woman asked the man to re-hire a generous gift to show that the woman is noble and the lady is beautiful and dignified. The mantissa of the engagement fee must be "three". The homonym of "San" and "Sheng" in Fuzhou dialect symbolizes having more children after marriage. A woman's dowry is usually daily necessities, furniture, clothes, shoes and hats, etc. Wealthy women also use fields, orchards, trees, houses, gold and silver jewelry as dowry. The amount of dowry depends on the wealth of the woman's family, and the man may not ask for it or be picky. However, toilets, dressing boxes and large insoles are all essential makeup.
Engagement is usually called engagement and engagement. The man chooses an auspicious day, gives half of the money of the bride price (commonly known as the first half of the bride price) to the woman's family, and gives a gift to the woman's elders, calling it "Mom Bar" for grandma, "Milk Bar" for mother and "Uncle Bar" for uncle. The woman returned the cake and distributed the cake, chicken and meat sent by the man to relatives and elders. The recipient should send congratulations with cloth before the girl gets married, commonly known as "adding boxes" Entertain girls inside and outside once, commonly known as "sedan chair glue".
On the day of delivery, the man chooses the wedding date, writes a red card, and the matchmaker sends it to the woman's house to confirm the wedding date, and sends the second half of the gift money. If one party is not ready, it can be postponed; Some people get married within 100 days in advance because they have lost their parents.
The day before the wedding, the man sent a sedan chair, a golden drum class, a gift book, a "doorpost" and a gift chicken to the woman's house. The bride's family gave gifts to the chicken, and the chicken tied its feet with red ropes, commonly known as "red line binding glue". The golden drum class stays at the girl's house to play. Rosty Yi, the bride opens her face, also known as "opening her face", and unscrews the hair from her face with a thread. When the bride gets married, she bows to her parents and relatives (later changed to bow), and the worshippers kowtow to her, somewhat casually. Before getting on the sedan chair, the bride cried and was bedridden, commonly known as "bedridden" to show her reluctance. On auspicious days, the bride will urge her to dress up and get into the sedan chair, wearing a red scarf on her head and a bronze mirror hanging on her chest, and her father or eldest brother will carry her into the sedan chair. In some rural areas, there is also the custom of crying wedding songs, the significance of which is to persuade and teach the bride to be filial to her in-laws, get along well with her uncle (the groom's brother), get along well with her aunt, be kind to her neighbors, and manage the family diligently. If you meet a sedan chair on the road, you should exchange gifts and set off firecrackers to get good luck for both sides.
On the eve of the wedding, both men and women hang lanterns and stick auspicious couplets. On the wedding day, the bride wore an embroidered robe, a jade belt around her waist and a rockhopper, which was the costume of the Ming Dynasty. The groom wears a red hat, a long coat and a mandarin jacket, and looks like an official of the Qing Dynasty. According to legend, at that time, there was an agreement between Wu Sangui and the emperor shunzhi that "men should not give birth to women", so from the Qing Dynasty to the early years of the Republic of China, men wore clean clothes when they got married, and women wore bright clothes when they got married. On the opposite day, the man's relatives took photos, torches and golden drums to the woman's house to pick up the sedan chair. The sedan chair arrived and stopped in the hall. A pair of boys separated the sedan chair from the left and right with lanterns, and the bride took the bride out of the sedan chair. Then worship the ancestors of heaven and earth, worship the in-laws, and worship the husband and wife. After the ceremony, the bride and groom were led into the bridal chamber by a couple holding phoenix candles. After entering the bridal chamber, the bride and groom sit side by side on the edge of the bed, which is called "sitting on the bed"; Drink "acacia wine" and name it "husband and wife"; A boy with both parents and many brothers urinated in the toilet, which means "open a bucket". In the afternoon, all the relatives' guests arrived, and the bride and groom were helped out of the hall by their daughter-in-law. Then bow down to your relatives and elders. According to the procedure of direct line first, collateral line later, paternal line first, maternal line first, bow down one by one. The worshippers should give the bride a "meeting gift". Close relatives and elders often give valuable gifts such as rings, necklaces and bracelets, which is called "seeing the hall". After the visit, the bride helps her to take a trip to the kitchen, which is called "the kitchen god"; Move the kitchen utensils and name them "Chuchu" (go out of the kitchen first and then go out of the hall the next day in the countryside); After the ceremony, a banquet was held. When a banquet is held that night and "Yan Ping" (called "big dish") is served, the parents of the groom will lead the newlyweds to the wine table to thank relatives and friends and make a toast, and make up for the relatives who have not bowed.
The night before the wedding, choose the right time and invite people who live long to "settle down". On the wedding night, relatives and friends, old and young, can have sex. In front of the noisy room, the new door is closed, and the noisy people will sing noisy poems outside until the doorman is satisfied. After entering the room, we should take the things that were put on the bed in advance, and the troublemakers will sing hymns in combination with the contents of the things. Take them down one by one to see the new couple, and ask the bride and groom to perform a banter program to make everyone laugh. Having a noisy room can increase the joy and lively atmosphere of the wedding, which is the climax of the wedding. Noisy programs, also known as "drama", are civilized and vulgar in content, elegant, implicit and vulgar in taste. Common ones are "wearing grass", "Jiang Taigong fishing", "Shuanglong grabbing pearls", "carrying loach" and "underwater fishing for the moon". "Piercing the grass heart" means using two hollow straws of different sizes. The bride and groom each have one in their mouths. The bride is sitting and the groom is standing. Put the straw in her mouth into the straw in her mouth. The troublemakers are booing around. The straw in the bride's mouth is shaking all the time, and the groom has to work hard to put it on. "Jiang Taigong fishing" is to use a basin to hold half a basin of water. There is a small board floating on the water. There is a cake on the board with a few small firecrackers on it. The bride stood on a high chair, holding a fishing rod, hanging the lit incense, and lighting the small firecrackers below with this incense. "Catch the moon under the water" is to use a basin to hold some shallow water, put a coin at the bottom of the basin, let the bride blow hard, blow the water to both sides and bring the coin up quickly. Although the bride did her best before she could hold the coin, the water resumed, which often made her face wet, like a pear with rain, really beautiful. It was still late at night, the play was over and the guests were scattered. The bride-to-be withdrew from the new house with a "lucky draw" (that is, a red envelope), and the newlyweds began to go to bed. The next morning, the couple must get up early to pay tribute to their parents.
Huimen used to be called Huiluan, also called Huimen. The bride's brother went to the man's house in a sedan chair to invite his sister and brother-in-law home. The man should prepare a "flat plane" to invite Uncle Lang and give him a red envelope, and then the newlyweds will go back to their parents' house in the sedan chair picked up by the woman. The etiquette of Huimen is basically the same as the wedding ceremony. You should worship your ancestors, parents-in-law, relatives and friends and attend the banquet. Newlyweds often rush back to the man's house before the banquet is over. The bride should cook in person and symbolically cook one or two dishes (the chef is still invited) to thank the relatives and friends who came to help on the wedding day. This is called "trying to cook".
Child bride In the old society, working families lived in poverty and could not bear the economic burden of normal marriage. They are afraid that it will be difficult for their son to get married when he grows up, so parents will adopt girls as soon as possible and get married when they reach marriageable age. If the family is well-off, a grand wedding will also be held; If you are in financial difficulties, on New Year's Eve, let your daughter-in-law worship your ancestors, your in-laws and the kitchen god. This is called consummation.
A woman marries a husband, and a man marries a woman's family. This is called adoption. When recruiting relatives, hold banquets and weddings at the woman's house. Conclude a specific marriage contract, stipulating that the man will change his surname (starting from the woman's generation), and the children born after marriage will inherit the woman's property and support her parents. After 1950s, when a man marries a woman's family, most men don't change their surnames. The ownership, inheritance and upbringing of children born after marriage can be solved by both men and women and their parents through consultation.
Older widows are discriminated against when they remarry. Widows' remarriage is mostly decided by their in-laws and relatives. Those who didn't want to remarry were cheated out of the village and the man was hijacked. Some, with the consent of widows and their parents, agreed on the price and date of marriage, went back to their parents' home or stayed at their in-laws' home before marriage, quietly took off their old clothes and shoes outside the village and put on new clothes, which were taken away by the man, without dowry or ceremony. Widows recruit men as husbands, commonly known as home visits.
If a man marries his dead wife and continues to marry, it is called filling the house. If you marry a remarried woman, the etiquette banquet is simple, please ask your elders to testify and worship your ancestors' in-laws.
Two families, sisters, marriage, sisters become sisters. This is mostly the way that poor families have to take. Due to the exchange of marriage, the relationship between husband and wife is not harmonious after marriage.
Chong Xi's fiance is seriously ill and the medicine is ineffective. The man's parents hold a glimmer of hope that "one happiness will overwhelm a thousand disasters" and ask the woman's family to get married in advance. At the wedding, the fiance's sister visited the bride instead of him. After marriage, some patients got better and recovered, while others died.
After the engagement, if the man dies before marriage, the woman will also get married, and the deceased sister will hold a "god card" and hold a wedding with the bride at the memorial ceremony. Since then, the bride has lived in an empty house all her life, saying that she is on duty, unmarried and filial. Some women don't want to be widowed and marry another man, but people think this is a second marriage, which is "destroying women". On New Year's Day after marriage, the deceased will make sacrifices for her so-called "ex-husband".
After the founding of People's Republic of China (PRC), the state promulgated the Marriage Law, which legally guaranteed the right of young men and women to freedom of marriage and abolished all unreasonable and complicated customs in the feudal marriage system. Since 1950s, government agencies and enterprises have taken the lead in promoting new-style weddings. Young men and women get marriage certificates after medical examination and marriage registration Each of them made a blue or gray khaki suit and a Chinese tunic suit, and bought a bed and a set of bedding. Please officiate at the wedding, hold a simple wedding and share the wedding candy, even if you are married. In the 1960s, married people had to buy "three big things", namely watches, bicycles and radios. Watches are best made in Shanghai, and bicycles are best made in Permanent, Phoenix or Flying Pigeons. In the late 1970s, married people began to pay attention to ostentation and extravagance. The new house needs a big wardrobe or chest of drawers and other new furniture, and then how many legs of furniture are needed, from 32 to 46 legs; There are also "three big pieces", TV (black and white), sewing machine and bicycle. Gifts should be given according to the needs of the married people, what is missing in the layout of the new house, and the wedding reception is about to begin. In 1980s, the requirements for marriage became more complicated and upscale. Wedding photos have developed from the traditional double photo to the big photo of the groom in a suit and tie and the bride in a wedding dress. The man should have a car decorated with flowers and go to the woman's house to pick up the bride. The "three big pieces" have also become color TVs, refrigerators and fully automatic washing machines. Both men and women hold wedding banquets, ranging from a few tables to more than a dozen or even twenty or thirty tables. In the 1990s, wedding planning made a new development. The new house should be decorated like a hotel, with wallpaper, wooden floor and ceiling. Banquet on the wedding day, honeymoon after marriage. In recent years, relevant departments have vigorously promoted new fashions such as advocating simple and frugal marriage and guiding young people to participate in group weddings.