01

Such an incident happened around me:

A young man born in 1993 was introduced to a blind date by an acquaintance. The woman was straightforward at the beginning of the blind date. asked about income.

The young man truthfully said that his monthly salary is 6.5k.

When the young man was 23 years old, he graduated with a bachelor's degree and worked for four years. He lived and worked in a second-tier city. His monthly salary of 6.5k was not high but it was quite satisfactory. Although it was not a plus in a blind date, it was not a minus either. .

But he didn’t expect the woman to ask him bluntly: “Is your income worthy of marriage?” After getting married, will a monthly salary of 6.5k be enough to cover mortgage, car loan, living expenses, and child-rearing expenses? ?

The young man was speechless after hearing what the woman said, and the blind date naturally ended in failure.

02

Did the woman say something wrong in this blind date?

From a purely blind date perspective, the woman’s statement is not wrong.

Dating is originally a mutual choice between a man and a woman. Both the man and the woman have the right to make requests.

If there are "highlights" that meet the requirements of the other party in terms of appearance, money, ability, character, character, family tradition, income, etc., the blind date will be successful, otherwise the blind date will fail.

The woman wants to find a man with a monthly salary of at least 10,000 yuan to marry. If she meets a man with a monthly salary of 6.5k, she will naturally refuse.

But if we look at it from the perspective of marriage, the woman’s view of marriage in this blind date is skewed.

03

At present, almost all people born in the 1990s are facing marriage.

However, most people born in the 1990s are resistant to marriage. Some plan to get married after the age of 30, and some are even unwilling to get married.

When most parents of the post-90s generation urge their children to get married, they only say: Get married quickly, get married quickly

But is it really the post-90s generation who don’t want to get married?

Actually, it is not the post-90s generation who are unwilling to get married, but the fact that the post-90s generation cannot afford to get married, especially the post-90s generation men.

It is more difficult for men born in the 1990s to get married than those born in the 70s and 80s.

Today’s marriage is a one-step marriage.

A man has a ticket to marriage only if he has a house, a car, and a stable income sufficient to support his married life. But such a marriage is almost impossible for those born in the 1970s and some born in the 1980s.

Most people born in the 1970s will live with their parents for a long time after getting married. Most of the wedding houses born in the 1980s are purchased together by couples after marriage, and the pressure on housing prices that those born in the 1980s need to face is not as high as those born in the 1980s. The post-90s generation is so big. There are also many couples born in the 1970s and 1980s who got married first and then found stable jobs.

Take a friend of mine as an example. He was born in 1980. When he got married, he was 25 years old, which was considered an older age for marriage at that time. After getting married, the two lived in a rental house for five years before buying a house.

Everyone thought it was normal at the time. After all, how could a newly married couple have money to buy a house? But what if it were now? It is almost impossible for a wife to live in a rented house with her husband for five years after marriage.

04

The topic returns to the blind date mentioned earlier. Why is it said that the woman’s view of marriage is skewed from the perspective of marriage?

Just like a one-step marriage, the woman feels that a man with a monthly salary of less than 10,000 yuan is not qualified to date, which puts all the responsibility for the marriage on the man.

Why should a woman marry a man?

Is it because the relationship is suitable or because you want to find a man to support you for the rest of your life?

I believe that most women are neither willing to be supported by a man for the rest of their lives, nor are they willing to admit that when they get married, they are looking for a man to support them for the rest of their lives.

Marriage means taking on responsibilities. Marriage responsibilities include a house, a car, children, and parents?

But if a man has to prepare a house and a car before marriage, he must also be capable. What is the responsibility of a woman to bear all the household expenses after marriage? The entire responsibility of taking care of children and parents rests with women? Not necessarily.

There is a saying about marriage that many girls regard as a guideline: If getting married will reduce the quality of one's life, then such a marriage is meaningless. ?

But under the pressure of marital responsibilities, if marriage does not reduce a woman’s quality of life, then men will have to bear double marital responsibilities. What is the meaning of a man’s marriage?

In fact, there is another pressure for men that has not been mentioned before? The bride price when getting married.

Most men born in the 1990s who are facing marriage are ordinary people. They are neither the proud sons of heaven who have succeeded in starting a business, nor the gold-collar elites who dominate the workplace. Under such pressure, they can only "avoid" marriage.

05

Marriage requires security, happiness, and material security, but these are by no means the sacrifice of one party in the marriage to provide for the other.

At the same time, marriage is also a relationship for decades to come. We cannot just focus on the present and ignore the future.

A good marriage requires both husband and wife to work together to create a future life. When getting married, a woman might as well help the man "reduce the pressure" and "relax".

The security of marriage can not only come from the house, car, gift and income, but also from the character, character and family tradition.