At lunch, my mother got a call from my first cousin, saying that after my uncle was taken to the hospital, the doctor's opinion was that there was no need for treatment. My mother judged that my uncle might not make it this time. I said to my mother, "You don't have to go back. I'll do the nucleic acid right away and go back to see my uncle tomorrow. If my uncle is fine, go back to meet him. If it really doesn't work, go back to see my uncle for the last time." After that, I took a nap in bed according to my schedule. My mother's crying woke me up. I knew that my uncle had left. On the last day of November, at 2: 4 pm, I was 83 years old.
1 My uncle died, but my aunt didn't cry.
where will you go, how can she not cry? My sister called me to advise my mother not to go back. She was worried that her mother couldn't bear the grief of her uncle's death. She repeatedly told her mother "Don't cry" on the phone, but her mother wanted to see her uncle for the last time anyway. I believe that tears can drain the pain. I would rather have her cry happily and say goodbye to her uncle with a ceremony of crying. No matter what kind of farewell, no ceremony is sad.
I shed tears because of missing, regretting and even losing an era ...
I regret that I didn't let my eldest cousin call my mother to take the phone and video with my uncle. At least, I should let my eldest cousin tell my uncle that I want to go back and let my uncle know how much I care about him. I have moved this idea, but I am worried about my uncle's sensitivity. However, I went back because I knew that he was dying, and I didn't say it on my lips. No matter how much I believe in the existence of the soul, I hope my uncle will leave with my love for him.
However, I am more worried about my aunt. No matter what the situation is, my aunt makes people feel distressed: when my uncle is here, I am worried that my aunt is too hard, and when my uncle is gone, I am worried that my aunt is too lonely. I don't know how sad and crying my thin aunt will be. A few years ago, my uncle passed away and I didn't go home because I was too busy at work. According to my mother, menstruation, who was never sad, cried bitterly. It's hard for me to imagine how hard it would be for a couple who have lived together for nearly 6 years to leave and how painful it would be.
But when my mother and I came to my uncle's spirit by car all day and cried, my aunt came out and said to me, "Liangyu, don't cry! Your uncle walked peacefully. "
There is an old saying that there is no dutiful son before a long bed. There are always dutiful sons in front of my uncle's bed. However, these "dutiful sons" have not served my uncle. It is always my aunt who serves my uncle.
Eight years ago, my uncle was lying in bed because of a stroke, during which he had a gallstone operation. I can't remember the number of times he went to the hospital. Almost every time he recovered from dying, his aunt took care of all his life.
My aunt is in poor health, although she is six years younger than my uncle. The hospital diagnosed her with diabetes, cancer, knee joint and synovitis. At one time, my aunt used a small bench with crutches to support her body. Although the twins' cousins are not far from their parents' homes and they often come back, it is always my aunt who takes care of my uncle's life every day.
regardless of spring, summer, autumn and winter, my aunt washes my uncle's body, feeds him, and helps him to bed from the wheelchair every day. Besides, whether I lived with my cousin and sister-in-law, or later lived with my cousin's house, my aunt never asked anyone to help me care for my uncle. She had to do laundry, cook, clean and take care of the vegetable garden for eight years, and she never got bored. Even the doctors and nurses in the hospital lamented that an old man in the countryside had never smelled anything after lying in bed for several years, and even professional nurses could hardly take care of him so thoughtfully. My aunt said, "I only have one wish, that is, your uncle walks in front of me. If I die in front of him, no one can take care of him."
We all lament how my aunt's body bears so many pains and so much physical strength. My aunt herself is very calm. She said that what the doctor said is very scary. I never think about these things. Many diseases are frightening myself. As for life and death, my aunt seems to be very indifferent. Perhaps my uncle's leaving before her just satisfied her wish, so we can't see her sadness.
On December 3rd, at 4 o'clock in the morning, the Taoist priest started chanting. I didn't hear a word of singing except knocking on the money of the dutiful son. At 5: 18, dozens of cars followed my uncle's hearse. I don't know if anyone accompanied my aunt. I looked back at her. She was still as calm as ever and watched my uncle's coffin leave without tears.
2 Uncle has nothing but many people
Spring Festival in 216
In fact, it is difficult for me to describe my uncle with words like "contribution", "diligence" and "kindness". My uncle has made no special contribution to the whole family. Even when transplanting rice in the fields, he is gentle, spotless and unhurried.
If there is one word to describe my uncle's fate, it must be "human". I often tell people that my uncle's family has nothing but many people.
My uncle has seven children, one son and six daughters. Because these seven children's uncles have fourteen children; In the era of catching up with the only child, only the eldest cousin had two children, and my uncle had eight grandchildren, four of whom had married, so my uncle's grandchildren had twelve; At present, the grandsons who have got married have added five great-grandchildren to their uncles. In this way, there are thirty-one descendants who have been propagated by my uncle.
But more than that, our family belongs to the matriarchal family, with my grandmother as the core. My uncle's three sisters, that is, my menstruation, my mother and my aunt, have given birth to seven children, and these seven nephews have also formed a considerable lineup, all of which are around my uncle.
Not only that, my uncle's position in the family seems to be established not only by my grandparents' children, but also by two branches of my grandmother's family: one is my uncle's brother, who sailed a ferry on the Yangtze River when he was young and gave birth to two sons and a daughter. My uncle died in a ship fire, and there are at least fifteen grandchildren here, which even my mother can't remember clearly; The other is that my grandmother's sister is my aunt, because during the war, my aunt went out to be a soldier when she was very young, and her whereabouts were unknown. My aunt waited for half her life with her only daughter, who gave birth to her six grandchildren. These two branches are at the head of the stone, separated from us by a river.
When I was young, I often visited my mother's cousin's house, and I also saw my uncles, grandfathers, aunts and grandmothers visiting my grandmother's house with their descendants. That way of visiting seems to have some kind of prescribed ceremony, not necessarily the Chinese New Year holiday, but we would take some time off to stay with relatives during the slack season every year. We call it "visiting relatives".
The feeling of "visiting relatives" is excellent. I like the kind of fresh affection that my aunts and grandmothers bring my cousins to live in. My aunts and grandmothers are very similar, and my cousins are all beautiful. The feeling of being half-baked always makes me hope to perform better in front of them and intercept some good memories of them.
What impressed us most was that he would bring us delicious fried dough sticks every time he came. He asked us to sit down and distribute them one by one. It's been a long time, and I still vaguely remember my uncle's voice and expression. I believe that all of us sitting at the table are swallowing while waiting for my uncle to distribute fried dough sticks. I remember that my uncle and grandfather always stared at me and called my mother's name "Xiaodong" every time, and I would say a little shyly, "I'm not Xiaodong." Then my uncle and grandfather said with satisfaction, "I think you are like Xiaodong." From then on, I knew it very clearly, because I looked too much like my mother and was deeply loved by my grandmother's relatives, including my uncle.
Relatives usually come to grandma's house. As long as they come, we will all get together. At that time, people could still count clearly, but it is estimated that every time relatives go out, they have to figure out how many things they need to bring before they can be distributed. Generally, they mainly eat, and the feeling of eating together is also very tasteful. This is also a standard content of "visiting relatives".
years are long, and things have changed. We, the descendants, have also left our hometown one by one to make a living in various places, and have become guests from the south to the north in this world. Maybe some of us may not recognize each other when we meet on the road one day. We are all so busy that we have no time to visit our relatives anymore. We are so busy that we can't remember the last time our relatives came to live with us. We are so busy that we can't remember that there are so many relatives in the world, and we are so busy that we can visit the Three Treasures Hall.
However, no matter how the world changes, my uncle's family always has to go, and I can't tell why. It seems to be a habit from generation to generation, from uncles and grandfathers to cousins, from aunts and grandmothers to menstruation, to cousins and cousins; From cousin, cousin, cousin to cousins ..., generation after generation, my uncle's family is always visited.
It seems that as long as my uncle is here, my grandmother's clan will not be interrupted, and a world that seems to have never been turbulent and carries the old days will always exist. As long as I see my uncle, I can feel the warmth of those old days. As long as asked about the names, ages, experiences and various relationships of those relatives, my mother said that no one could make it clear except my uncle.
Those old days have nothing to do with wealth, gain or loss, honor or disgrace, but a natural existence, because of my uncle. Therefore, when my uncle died, I had a loss that the world was taken away by him.
3? My uncle never worries, and everything is "as you like"
I really can't say how hard-working my uncle is or how worried he is about his children. He has been spoiled by others for almost his whole life. When he was a child, there were four brothers and sisters. He was the only male, but my grandfather treated him equally, but my grandmother and her mother were particularly patriarchal and never let my uncle work. When my uncle comes of age, his grandparents help him with his children, and he hardly has to worry about it; After the death of grandparents, there are three younger sisters, especially my aunt, who are very concerned about my uncle and are often taken to the city to watch plays and recuperate; When he is really old and sick, not only does his aunt take care of him, but his cousins often go back, and even his seven nephews go back to visit him and his aunt every year.
In the family with grandma as the core, the greatest contribution should be Xiao Yan, who likes to worry and is the only one in their generation who wants to pull us out one by one. Therefore, several of our cousins have lived and grown up in Xiao Yan's house, and Xiao Yan is like a bridge from the countryside to the city. Mother may be the most intimate of their sisters, and despite suffering, she is strong and unyielding, becoming an umbrella for her children, nephews and nieces. Therefore, cousins also like to be with their mothers. Menstruation likes us. She is weak and doesn't talk much, but menstruation's gentleness is the biggest tolerance. We never have to say hello when we go to menstruation's house to eat and drink Lazarus. It is because my uncle was the captain when he was young, and he was so aggressive in the village that no one dared to bully us. My uncle has never been quiet, and he can't say anything special to this big family, but it seems a little puzzling that his near and far relatives will surround him.
My uncle studied in a private school and went to school after liberation. He writes beautifully in pen and loves to listen to go to the opera. He also told me that the words of counting Peking Opera are the most refined among all operas. He is an accountant in our village and is a literate person after all, but he never seems to express his opinions on too many things, and things at home are just like "whatever you want".
including two children who died young, my uncle gave birth to nine children before and after, but he never even named them. Coincidentally, the third child in my uncle's family was the same year as the third child in our family, and my sister was called "the third child". Next, the fourth child and the fifth child in my uncle's family were called "the fourth child" and "the fifth child". The last pair of twins were on my uncle's 37th birthday (lunar calendar).
Almost all children's scientific names are given by their mothers and aunts, and my uncle neither cares nor interferes. Only when I was in primary school at the age of 7, my uncle asked me to give my cousin a scientific name, which was the only time he "interfered" with the child's name. What happened was this:
Because I didn't want to be surnamed Li with my father, I needed a scientific name named Zheng with my grandmother. According to the names of my uncle, my mother and my first cousin, our family chose my grandmother's family name and my grandfather's faction. My first cousin's name was Zheng Xianjun. Mother said, "You can't give the name that my sister has already called. Let's give you another name."
"I'll do it myself", so I just looked it up in the dictionary and named myself. I thought the word "Ling" sounded good and had a good meaning, so I called it "Zheng Xianling". My cousin is just one year younger than me, because it happened that there was a primary school in the village that day, and it was at the door of my uncle's house. My cousin planned to go to school with me. My uncle said, "You might as well name your sister." Because I didn't go to kindergarten or learn Pinyin, all the words I know are dialect pronunciations, so I named my cousin Zheng Xianqiong (our dialect pronunciations) according to the radicals and pronunciations of my own name.
My uncle's only son's real surname is "Zhao". My sister was in the same year as him, and when they went to school, it was fashionable to have "red and expert" names, so my aunt named them "Yongzhong" and "Yonghong" respectively. The last four, five, six and seven didn't follow us. By the time they went to school, single names were popular all over the country, and girls were given boys' names. Except for Wuzi, who took a girl's name after her grandfather, the other four, six and seven were given single names: Zheng Zhou, Zheng Zhi and Zheng Yi.
It seems that only my mother and aunt worry about us. They will encourage us to study and find jobs for us. My uncle doesn't worry much about his seven children and seven nephews. At that time, our teaching conditions were not good, and it was almost natural for cousins to study or abandon school. If they said they didn't read, they wouldn't read. I don't know if this has anything to do with my mother. Among the four brothers and sisters, my mother has read the most books and suffered the most. My uncle seems to be right about this, too. None of my uncle's seven children got rid of the countryside after reading a book, and now all families are happy and well-fed.
My uncle doesn't seem to mind that I have been lying to study at school. When people praise me in front of him, "I'm still a college student?" He will also proudly say, "Well, this is the only college student in our family!" " He seems to know that I will suffer a lot when I leave my hometown. He told me very early: "People come to this world to suffer. You see, everyone's face is actually written with a word' suffering'. Eyebrows are the head of grass, the bridge of the nose is the center of support, and the mouth is the word' mouth' below the word' bitter'. "
My uncle never worries. During his eight years in bed, the greatest significance of his life is to passively wait for news from his grandchildren: which grandson has graduated from college, which grandson has worked, and which grandson has a date. There are always too many things here, Sun Mantang.