I don't know when it started. I used to wrap chewing gum in paper and throw it into the dustbin at hand. At the same time, I kicked a paper ball wrapped in an unknown object under my feet and watched the beautiful arc disappear into the air without looking back. I am used to taking back my feet that are about to step into the lawn, picking a leaf and putting it in my mouth, and whistling softly to challenge my classmates' personality. Accustomed to mocking passers-by while ignoring the broken money scattered in the small bowl beside him, he hesitated to put his hand into his pocket. He just turned away and doubted the pure eyes behind his dark face. I'm used to sighing about the changes in the world, holding an umbrella and hesitating to look at the alumni running in the rain, avoiding his help and grateful eyes ... I'm used to everything I advocate now and everything I hated when I was a child. I find myself ambivalent.
In fact, it is a contradiction of society and life. In fact, everyone is so contradictory.
Ji Bolun said, "Your mind is often a battlefield." We are always making decisions about the little things in life. Completely different ideas collide and struggle with each other, and our hearts are also contradictory. Contradictory hearts dominate us to do contradictory things, to do things that contradict our own hearts.
Why is it contradictory?
Because we have more "fear" than "love".
What are we afraid of?
We are afraid that our parents will say "prude" contemptuously, that our classmates will despise us, and that passers-by will ridicule "nerves". We are also afraid of giving money to people who get it for nothing, and we are afraid of the embarrassment when others refuse. We are even more afraid that others will doubt our goodwill and think that we have ulterior motives. We are afraid of everything that is a little bad for us, even if it is imaginary.
Society and people wear cold masks to avoid camouflage. Just like a tortoise, it tries to protect itself with a shell made of "fear" and also protects the poor "love" in its heart. "Everyone is worried about being cheated. When one day they are worried about cheating others, society will reach a perfect level." Society will never be perfect, so will people never reach this state? !
Perhaps, in a sense, such a contradictory society and such a contradictory life is also a kind of perfection and coordination. Perhaps it is precisely because of this contradiction that everyone will not deceive others, and everyone will be deceived.
But in that case, I'd rather not be so perfectly coordinated. Such perfection is too numb, and such coordination is too indifferent. I would rather break this contradiction, only hope that there will be more truth and warmth in the society and life that is no longer contradictory, perfect and uncoordinated, and pursue real perfection and harmony.