When analyzing painful experiences, we naturally tend to start from the perspective of self-immersion. Looking at the problem through one's own eyes, that is, the so-called first perspective, analyzing one's feelings in this way will make things unfold in memory in the form of narration, make the emotional intensity reach the level similar to that at the time of the incident, and the painful experience will be strengthened again and again.
When we look at the painful experience from another angle, from the perspective of self-alienation. Just like we carry a camera, we want to give this experience a long lens. As the camera zooms farther and farther, the background gradually appears ... At this time, we often rebuild our understanding of our own experiences, find new ways of thinking, and reinterpret events. Research shows that self-alienation can effectively reduce the activity of cardiovascular and cerebrovascular diseases, and the times of recalling painful experiences are also significantly reduced.
Pro-view is effective. When I shrink, the person who gave me pain is getting farther and farther away from me. That look, that sentence, I thought it was funny. Every time I shrink like this, I can't help laughing.
Treatment a and treatment b are generally used together. Once A therapy works, we should start B therapy-a diversion.
We can use high-intensity aerobic exercise, socializing, puzzles and computer games. ...
We can also use short-term low-intensity mental exercises, such as playing Sudoku games on mobile phones, recalling the layout of local supermarkets, and meditating.
Distraction can not only effectively restore our intelligence, improve our ability to solve problems, but also make us happy quickly.
Create a distraction list and practice it when we ruminate.
I usually use meditation and yoga, or find a new recipe to practice.
This therapy is mainly aimed at anger caused by rumination.
Anger reorganization requires us to change our point of view and realize the significance of the event, so as to change our view of the status quo. Although the focus is on reducing anger, reorganization can also help us reduce sadness and disappointment, or feel hurt.
Although emotional reorganization is effective, many people are not good at using this technique, because it is always not so easy to interpret painful events as beneficial events.
The reorganization steps are as follows.
Determining the benefits will help to change the perspective of looking at the status quo and reduce the intensity of negative emotions.
For example, being caught by friends can help us establish a good border. Knowing the bottom line, you won't cross the line next time.
Many painful situations often provide us with opportunities to improve ourselves, reevaluate the present situation, change the direction of our efforts or solve problems that need to be solved.
For example, after quitting two sales jobs, I realized that I prefer quiet technical jobs, change my major and teach myself accounting.
Learn from things and avoid making mistakes in the future.
Haha, the fourth one makes me laugh and offends me is crazy! Although I don't think like a gentleman, it really changed my mood.
Rumination not only hurts ourselves, but also causes repeated sadness and anger, and also affects people who care about us. When we discuss the same problem with family and friends repeatedly, it will make them lose patience and even arouse their hatred. Meditation can destroy family relationships and lose friends. In order to avoid excessive rumination and affect family and friends, we need to pay attention to the following points:
Experiencing painful events will generally return to normal within a certain period of time. When discussing an event with friends, we should consider whether the aging of the event exceeds the average recovery period.
We all have people who get social support, but when we repeatedly discuss some ideas, events and feelings, they may encounter "fatigue". The best way is to make full use of all kinds of social support resources, and don't overload the people we often ask for help.
If you only talk about your problems with your friends, your friendship may be destroyed. In order to strike a balance, take some time to ask about your friend's life and discuss his problems.
If all you talk about with your friends is your own painful experience, it will be harmful to your relations. Talk more about topics that should be relaxed and find more happy events and fun.