? One day at lunch, there were some small dishes on the table. Maybe the food is not suitable for children.

? My son is nearly 10 years old and says he wants to eat salted duck egg bibimbap. I helped him open the salted duck eggs and found that it would be difficult to stir too much rice in the bowl. Naturally, I gave a small portion of rice from his bowl to mine.

? This move, the child's face was actually hung with an "unhappy" expression. Pouting.

? I think, this child! I am angry and I want to eat his rice. Deep down, there must be something wrong with education.

? The mother also asked him if it was for this reason. The child looked at his mother with tears and said yes!

? At that moment, being a father was really a failure! A self-righteous act of love is actually that a person eats the rice in his bowl in the eyes of a child by such despicable means!

? At that time, anger erupted.

? Children may also find me different in peacetime. After all, I used to smile and look like I knew what children were thinking. I got up after a casual meal. I can already hear the child's mother talking behind me.

? This matter is still in my mind.

? The problems that appear in the process of children's growth are often their own reasons.

2. My father is an asshole.

? When I was growing up, the role of "father" was a mystery.

Of course, he is still alive. The last time he spoke, he said that he was a doorman in a private enterprise, with a salary of 2,500 yuan/month. Eat up and use up, and be healthy!

? This guy, every time the phone starts, if I don't call him "dad". He started calling me "dad" backwards. From the beginning of understanding the language, I learned the evaluation from others: Amin is a good person as long as he doesn't drink!

? I had a few drinks with him a few years ago. The amount of alcohol is average. If he cooks half a catty of millet, he will get dizzy. Speak with obvious arrogance. He explained that he was old. I wasted a long time, and then I found that he was almost sixty years old. A sad feeling came from behind, and life was heartless. Recalling that I also advised him to go to the hospital to check his alcohol dependence, I thought that he could do nothing, support and encourage each other like those dependent patients in American dramas, and then cheer up. However, this is not the case. Maybe it's not necessarily a bad thing that he is immersed in his own world.

? Yeah, it's not necessarily a bad thing for him. Where are his children? What about his old family? This is an asshole!

? Of course, this is not my evaluation of him, but the summary of the people who love me.

? As for me, when I started drinking with him a few years ago, I had already let go of many plots that I couldn't let go of when I was a child. I don't have any special ideas. Usually very friendly to strangers. I have no reason to hate a person with blood. Based on this, I put down my childhood hatred for no reason. After a long time, the problem of seeing him becomes the problem of seeing a bloody stranger.

3. Face up to your hypocrisy

? Then, I hope my children grow up. What do you think of me? A dad who pretends to be cute and disgusting? He won't use these words to address his father until he is my age. If I still don't change my deliberate fatherly love in front of him, I will definitely get these comments.

? Be honest with yourself. Before the baby was born, I began to read what I thought was a serious parenting book (mainly about children's psychological behavior). I recorded his growth with photos, including the fear of being a new father, excitement, anxiety, and the sense of accomplishment of watching his children babble and sing a complete song. In the process of growing up for nearly ten years, I was absent for only one year because of an irresistible factor. Live together the rest of the time.

? I am too deliberately pursuing the title of "good father".

? In the process of performing "Good Dad", I pushed too hard. I lost myself.

? Smoking a cigarette, a lost face is not necessarily a bad father!

? /kloc-started to be a rebellious teenager at the age of 0/3. Fighting is not acceptable, but it is natural to smoke and be cool. The absence of the role of "father" seems more practical to this rebellious teenager. Those children who have no parental upbringing and are fostered in grandpa's house should be puppy love, fighting and smoking to be cool!

? In fact, my heart is fragile and sensitive, and I have a serious inferiority complex. In the test of campus violence and cruel stories of youth, I went from being bullied by people who eat "wind" to threatening others with my eyes when eating "wind". I always feel a little twisted, or I feel an unhealthy heart. I am good at intimidation, verbal threats, slapping people and humiliating them. I admit again that I am twisted!

? It was then that I realized that other people's families were different. Life is unequal. I am eager to have a family of my own.

? There were three protagonists who influenced me at that time, namely, How Steel was Tempered, Paul Kochagin, Arthur in The Gadfly and Sun Shaoping in The Ordinary World. These are all books that I 15 years old read.

? There are few books in rural families, but fortunately, there is a cousin who is five years older than me and goes to technical secondary school. Ordinary World is a book in his closet. The gadfly is newly bought by the bookstore. How steel was tempered was bought from a second-hand book in a small shop at the entrance of a junior high school.

? Books give rural children a chance to redeem themselves. The authors of those books are more like spiritual "fathers" guiding my life.

? Finally, I became a father at the age of 23. The baby was born in Granada Women and Children Hospital, Spain. I stayed in the delivery room and watched the baby leave the mother's body. The nurse skillfully helped him clean his body and put it on an electronic scale to measure his weight: 35 10g.

? I was still studying for a master's degree at that time. There are still a lot of piquants. As for smoking, it is impossible indoors. Only in the storage room outside the kitchen. Many times I will deliberately mention this to others, such as telling others that as a father, I will not smoke in front of my children. It was not until a few years later that I realized that this was a matter of course for a father. What is there to emphasize?

? Ten years later. From simple feeding to spiritual communication, I began to reflect on all aspects of myself as a father.

? Calm down and think about it. There is no standard answer to such a thing as education. As a social person, everyone's life should be in their own hands. I think I started my life in this society. I don't even know the true meaning of life. How could I miss my son's life? Or wait for him to grow up a little and make a topic to discuss life together.

? One more important thing, after consulting with my wife. I became myself and a father without "packaging" and "decoration". The effect is not bad, and there is no negative impact for the time being.

This essay is shared with you.

Parents, encourage each other!

2065438+September 2007

Madrid