I usually go back to my parents' house several times on New Year's Eve. It is believed that a married daughter can't go back to her parents' home on the first day of New Year's Day. Going back to her parents' home will make her poor, and she can only go back to her parents' home after the second day of New Year's Day. Daughters who get married on the second day of the lunar new year will go back to their parents' homes. I usually go back to my parents' house several times on New Year's Eve.
In many places in China, it is customary to return to one's parents' home on the second day of the first lunar month. Married daughters should bring gifts to their parents' homes.
Why do you want to go back to your mother's house on the second day of the first month?
Why must it be the second day of the first month instead of the first day of the first month? Superstition holds that the deceased ancestors came home from heaven at the end of the year to enjoy sacrifice. If ancestors saw "outsiders" at home, they would not enter the home because married women were considered "outsiders"; So married women can't spend New Year's Eve and the first day at home.
After the ancestors enjoy the sacrifice, the daughter can go home on the first (or second) night. This rule was very strict in the old society, especially in the countryside. Violating it is disrespectful. Although people in the new society don't believe in ghosts and gods, they still strictly abide by them. If for some special reason, a married daughter stays at home for the New Year, then parents and family may be very unhappy. This is also a long-standing cultural phenomenon, which may be implemented for a long time.
On the second day of the first month, I returned to my family's taboo.
The taboo of returning to the door is to let the bride abide by the communication order, and she must not return to the door when she should not, otherwise something will happen; When it's time to go back, you must go back, or something terrible will happen. Generally, on the third day of marriage, the bride and groom will go back to visit their parents, but they must return to their husband's house before sunset that night, because the new house cannot be empty. In Linxian County, Henan Province, the bride goes back to her parents' home in three days and goes along the road to greet her. The so-called "three days without two roads". Yi brides avoid talking to the groom on their way home. They are like strangers. This is related to the custom of keeping marriage. When the Han people go back to their hometown, the young couple always kiss, talk and laugh. There is a folk song "Back to Mother's Home" in Han nationality. The gifts that newlyweds bring home are always in pairs, not singular. The bride's family can't accept it all, and she has to take some back when she goes back to her husband's house. Some brides, influenced by superstitious ideas, will have to wait 120 days (4 months) to return to Ning, while others will have to wait three years to go home. In some places in Zhejiang, some women were sentenced to "breaking their mother's family". Such a woman is not allowed to get on the sedan chair at home. When getting married, the man's house picks up the woman to go out. A woman dressed in rags pretends to beg and put on a sedan chair in the temple, which is called "borrowing marriage". The parents and relatives of the woman's family must hide, and everything is taken care of by her husband's family. One hundred and twenty days after marriage, you can save your relatives. Otherwise, the bride's family will lose everything or suffer misfortune. There are also so-called criminals who "divorce" (husband and wife are separated) and "turn around" (take chestnuts from the fire) and can't go home until four months or even three years later.
Generally, after one month of marriage, in-laws can contact freely. When returning to China, the bride can stay with her parents. The number of days to stay is very particular. Some areas in Henan have the custom of staying for a few days. As the saying goes, "eight to eight, twenty cents" and "nine to nine, two ends". In other words, those who return to their parents' home on the eighth day of the eighth month can stay at their parents' home for eight days, and those who return to their parents' home on the ninth day can stay at their parents' home for nine days. In this way, the most time is to stay for one month. If you live like this, it will be auspicious for both men and women, otherwise it will be bad. However, there is also a saying that don't live for eight days. As the saying goes, "if you live seven years old, you will not live eight years old, and your family is poor." The formation of this taboo is generally due to the ideological consideration that it is not easy for a married daughter to live in her parents' home. Among them, there are emotional constraints, moral constraints, economic pressures and production needs, and many factors have contributed to the agreement of this custom.
If the bride and groom go back to their parents' home together, then their accommodation in their parents' home also has different taboos. In Han and Manchu, it is a custom for newlyweds to avoid sleeping together when they return to their parents' home. Manchu allowed their children to live in Xikang, and other guests were not allowed to live in Xikang. But girls and children can't live together. It is said that the newlyweds sharing the same room in their parents' house will make their family's access decline. This is also caused by the concept of unclean and blasphemous sexual behavior. Han people often think that women always suffer from things between men and women. Because of this, female families always feel a little depressed psychologically. Besides, if the bride's family and her husband's family are not of the same clan, how can we provide a place for the husband's family to carry on the family line in the bride's family room? If she was really pregnant at her mother's house, wouldn't she take her "human potential" and "financial potential" to her husband's house? The bride's family will definitely decline because of this. Therefore, it is absolutely forbidden for young couples to share the same room in their parents' house, which is the idea under this custom. However, whether in the Han nationality or in many places, it is not taboo for newlyweds to share the same bed at their parents' home. Sometimes, these two completely different customs will coexist in the same county, for example, in Linxian County, Henan Province, these two customs coexist.
Generally, I go back to my parents' home several times on New Year's Day, and I usually go back to my parents' home on the second day of New Year's Day.
On the second day of the first month, it is customary to return to parents' home in most areas of China. Folk believe that a married daughter can't go back to her mother's house on the first day of the first year, and she will be poor when she goes back to her mother's house. She can only go back to her mother's house on the second day of the second year. The married daughter, on the second day of New Year's Day, returned to her parents' home with her husband and children to pay New Year's greetings.
When can't I go back to my parents' house?
A married daughter can't go back to her parents' house.
On the first day of New Year's Day, the married daughter goes back to her family, which means that she has to be poor, so she can only go back to her family on the second or third day of the following year, but the implication is that the married daughter is already the daughter-in-law of someone else's family. During the Chinese New Year, there must be many people from my husband's family coming to pay New Year greetings, and my daughter-in-law has to help bring tea and water, so I can't go back to my family on the first day.
Why do you want to go back to your mother's house on the second day of the Lunar New Year?
The second day of the first month is called "opening the year". From this day on, people will visit relatives and friends with gifts, such as three kinds of animals, bazin and French fries. Killing chickens in Shatian, Shaoguan, opens a new year, which means full of vitality.
On the second day of the first month, it is the day when the daughter and son-in-law return to their parents' homes, that is, the day when the son-in-law pays a New Year call to her parents-in-law, commonly known as "Welcome Husband Day". Folk believe that a married daughter can't go back to her mother's house on the first day of the first year, and she will be poor when she goes back to her mother's house. She can only go back to her mother's house on the second day of the second year. There is a folk proverb in Taiwan Province Province: "There is a father and a mother in the second day and the third day, and there is no father and no mother." It means a daughter with parents. After the second day of the Lunar New Year, her family will definitely come to pick her up for reunion. Only a daughter who has no parents and no relatives to miss will not send someone to pick her up.
China people's closest relationship is blood relationship, and children have "half a son's work", as the saying goes, "one son has half a son". On the second day of the Lunar New Year, my uncle visited my parents-in-law with expensive gifts. This is an annual opportunity for my "half son" to meet his "mother" and express his condolences to his parents. Some places call the new son-in-law a "charming guest". For the "Jiaoke" New Year greetings, the parents-in-law are warm and hospitable.
Generally speaking, I go back to my parents' home several times on New Year's Eve. There are different opinions in different places, and most of them return to their parents' homes on the second day of the New Year's Eve. Married daughters usually spend the New Year at their in-laws and then go back to their parents' homes. In most areas, they return to their parents' home on the second day of the Lunar New Year. People think that a married daughter can't go back to her parents' house on the first day of New Year's Day, but will eat her parents' house and can only go back to her parents' house after the second day of New Year's Day. The married daughter, on the second day of New Year's Day, returned to her parents' home with her husband and children to pay New Year's greetings.
The taboo of daughter-in-law going back to her parents' house for the New Year.
There are also different opinions among the people about the daughter-in-law returning to her family for the New Year. In some places, it is emphasized that the married daughter will not die if she touches the spoon at home, and the dead mother-in-law, pillar and son-in-law will not die. Although they are all feudal superstitions, some elders are more concerned about these statements, so they should pay due attention to the mood of the elderly. When the bride goes back to her family, she'd better follow these customs and try not to touch these taboo things.
There is also a saying about the time when a daughter-in-law returns to her mother's house. In some places, it is not appropriate to go back to your mother's house on the day of offering sacrifices to the stove. This needs to be understood in advance. In addition, there are the following matters to be noted:
1, you can't sleep with your husband. It is best for a married daughter to share a room with her husband after returning to her mother's house. If there is no room for sharing, she will sleep in separate beds.
2. Don't sweep the floor at home. Many places think that you can't sweep the garbage during the New Year, otherwise it will easily sweep away good luck, especially after the daughter-in-law returns to her mother's house.
When the daughter-in-law comes home, don't look at her parents' lights. Generally, lights are lit at night during the Spring Festival. The lights here refer to the lights that are lit at night during the New Year or the 15th National Day. Daughter-in-law should go back to her husband's house before lighting, and can't look at her parents' lights.
Don't stay at your mother's house for too long. Daughter-in-law can stay for a few days after returning to her parents' house. If the married daughter looks forward to staying at her parents' home, it will easily affect her brother's fortune and her sister-in-law will be unhappy.
When you go out on your wedding day, you can't look back. Looking back means that you will come back after you have a bad life at your husband's house.