I have been married to my wife for more than a year, and I feel that I can't go on. Is she too ignorant or am I too picky? My daughter-in-law and I got married half a year after we met. It was a flash marriage. Everything was fine when she first started dating. My parents are also very satisfied, and I am old. Later, we fixed a wedding date. I have to pay back the loan every month. Besides, I pay for the living expenses of water, electricity and coal at home. I give her five thousand dollars a month for living expenses, and shopping is extra. Basically, I spend nearly ten thousand yuan on her every month, and I spend about three or four thousand yuan myself. This is the case with basic income. At first, my idea was that it is natural for a man to support his family, even if he is tired like a dog outside. On the other hand, women should share more housework and take care of their husbands. So washing, cooking and doing housework are also duties. After all, there is a division of labor between two people in marriage. Well, the contradiction is coming, and the quarrel is coming. She has cooked the meal, and I have to wash the dishes. Note: I have no objection to washing dishes. I think the life of husband and wife is mutual respect and understanding, but sometimes she doesn't want to talk when she is tired after being busy outside, and she doesn't have to work. She chases plays at home every day and complains to me about housework. We used to have conflicts over washing dishes, because I think this life is no different from when I was single. She said other men and wives don't have to do anything. When I am at home, I don't have to do anything and my hands are not wet. Now I'll make you a cow and a horse, and you'll wash all the dishes in the future! At first, I told her some truth. Finally, there were two people arguing there. Finally, I argued that I was petty, not a man. Finally, I began to feel like a man myself. Because the only way to settle all the arguments is for me to compromise. I've told you several times that I'm timid. Don't argue any more. The noise was really unbearable several times. It's puzzling that her parents are involved. After many twists and turns, I filed for divorce because I really couldn't stand it. Just like a person is sick, a small cold can make you miserable. A normal little dispute between an ordinary couple is a river that can't be crossed. My parents came to visit us after marriage. This is the first time for my in-laws. As a result, she asked me to go back to her parents' house to have dinner with her. I said my in-laws can't leave them hanging, can they? Why don't you go to dinner, ok? The result will be another big war. I know the biggest reason is that her parents are coming to live, and she is unhappy. It really chills me to think about it. Some people say that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is difficult, so it depends on what kind of relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law! As a son of man, I certainly hope to create better conditions to take care of each other. After all, they are not young. Finally, I said divorce. I don't want to live any longer. She packed her things and went back to her parents' house. My mother went to help her, and before she left, she slapped the table and yelled at my house. My mother can't sleep well every night. I knew she was disappointed in me, so a few days later she packed up and left with her father. I don't know why, since we got married, our husband and wife life has been very little. She refused. At first, I could bear it. Finally, it was disappointing. Getting up more often makes you grumpy. Several times, I got out of bed to smoke or slam the door. She went back to her parents' home for half a month, and I didn't call her. I feel very relaxed, and I find a person's life very refreshing, because I finally don't have to quit smoking, take a disgusting and smelly shit, and endure all kinds of unreasonable control all day. Finally, she came to me, four or five times, and I made two conditions. First, a normal husband and wife life. Second, parents should not hesitate to come and live, especially after having children. In fact, I have always been uncomfortable going back to my parents' house during this small holiday, because she never helps with housework at her parents' house, even if you pretend. In this way, my parents also feel that there is light in front of their loved ones. Speaking of which, it's good that the daughter-in-law came back to help the old couple with the housework, and the old couple enjoyed it. This is what many old people need. No, after dinner, I stood at a station and looked at it with a PAD. My mother scolds me every time, telling me not to have this idea, saying that young people don't want you to do this now, as long as you young couple have harmonious feelings, we don't need you to worry about it. On the last day of the small holiday, my mother said, you should go and see your uncle again. He's 90 years old. It won't be long. Go back after reading it. I said yes. As soon as my mother left, my wife was unhappy again, saying that she would leave in the afternoon, and we were in a hurry to go back. I explained that it wouldn't take long. Now that I'm back, I'll pay a visit, which will be an hour late. She went on to say that she would go back early. I don't even have any private time this holiday. It got angry in an instant, and then we quarreled. At the end of the quarrel, she struck the table again and roared loudly. My mother still scolded me and told us not to go to see it. Let's go home early. I didn't say a word on the way. After I came back, my mother called me and told me clearly that you must be happy when you come back later. If your daughter-in-law doesn't want to come back, don't force it. But if you come back and knock on the tables and chairs in front of me, don't blame me for being rude. The first time I came to the door, I had a big fight and hit the table. The second time we went, you were unhappy. We went to strike the table and hit me again. It's the same when I come back this time. Don't blame my mother-in-law for falling out next time. Friends, what should I do? What should I do if I can't live with my wife? 2 "The woman I am jealous of has come to my house ..." Last weekend, my best friend from my school days came to my city with her son. Her husband is said to be busy with work and has no time to visit. Since it's too official and unfair for girlfriends to meet and hold a banquet outside, I decided to have dinner at home. I am very careful. My best friend is not only charming, but also a headmaster. It is said that she married well, which is basically the object of "jealousy" in my girlhood! Therefore, I specifically told my husband to show my family's good cooking, ask him to behave well and give us a "long face"! As soon as her son entered the door, he ran to the table with stars in his eyes. "Wow, it smells good! Aunt, which hotel did you buy it from? " My Dabao immediately replied: "No, they are all made by hand! My parents cook delicious! " My best friend came in with his son, so it is inevitable that we will be a little sad to meet again after such a long separation. When she was young, she was beautiful and charming. Over the years, she has changed a lot, and her skin color and figure have been coated with a layer of wind and frost. After hugging and exchanging pleasantries, sit down to eat. "Come and try some spring cakes. My old Liu has been passed down for a long time and is an expert in pasta! " Her son wolfed down quickly, and his best friend began to praise my husband for his skill. "Eat food, your aunt's food is better than the restaurant outside!" He also started to pick me up. "The relationship between husband and wife is really good, and the family is really warm and happy ..." With the praise of my best friend, I secretly glanced at my husband to see how happy he was, and I also smiled. After a full meal, the two children went to the house to play with toys. My husband offered to finish the cleaning task by himself and let us two women go to the back room to have a rest and chat. We recalled our school days, and we chatted happily, but unconsciously, our girlfriends began to complain about the injustice and unhappiness in our marriage life over the years. Cold war between husband and wife, contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, she almost touched all the marriage and family problems! Even, she has filed for divorce ... whether the marriage is good or not, I am a little surprised when I look at the kitchen, because in my impression, she should have been living well. But according to her, the husband is the only child in the family who is taken care of. He is picky in life and has poor taste, but he is also a master who never cooks in person. My best friend has no cooking experience before marriage, but she wants to learn after marriage, but her husband says it's too much trouble and always satirizes her poor work. After a long time, she lost her enthusiasm and didn't insist on eating at home. Later, her family never got angry again. Newly married couples, eating out, like dating in love, are very happy. But after a long time, it's really not a problem. First, the cost of living has risen. If you are not careful, it will be moonlight, and you have to swipe your flower bank credit card. At least they are married and can't rely on family subsidies. Second, I'm tired of eating restaurants and takeout for a long time. The fat brought by these heavy flavors and heavy oils and salts hangs on you every day! Family conflicts are also explosive ... you can work together when you are alone, but children can't always eat takeout, can they? The two began to take turns eating at their parents' home, and the children were entrusted to the elderly for care. After a long time, my mother-in-law has a big opinion, and there are more complaints behind her back! Mom's parents also complained: "What a grown-up person, still accompanying me every day, no home!" " "Later, when they were outside, they ate separately. When they came home, they didn't communicate. Instead, I played with my mobile phone and went to bed. What makes her most angry is that a while ago, she helped her colleagues and her husband move to a new home together, and her husband cooked a greenhouse meal. She praised her colleague's husband for his good workmanship, and his husband actually began to attack others for poor conditions and low income, so he could only eat at home and showed disdain. Please, you never cook, and you can't hide your family! After listening to her complaints, I suddenly thought of a sentence-"If you want to see how a person's life is at home, just look at the kitchen. If you want to know whether a marriage is good or not, just look at the kitchen! "The crux of the problem of girlfriends getting married is that there is no smell of fireworks at home. The home without the smell of fireworks has become a hotel, where people are passers-by, and over time, the relationship with relatives and family has become indifferent. There is a question on the Zhihu: "What is the performance of the husband and wife?" Gao Zan's answer is: "our family has a cold pot and a cold stove, and the kitchen has not been fired for a long time." We haven't eaten at home for a long time. " The so-called husband and wife are just a journey of simmering for a while and cooking for years. If the kitchen utensils are idle and the home is cold, then the lover's heart will naturally get farther and farther away. The temperature in the kitchen is the happiness of marriage. If you want to live a rich life, the kitchen should be steaming. The smell of fireworks is the most comforting to ordinary people. Without fireworks, marriage is difficult to maintain. This truth, I also got married, and I slowly realized it. Eating at home is a concoction of middle-aged couples. On the wedding day, my mother deliberately pulled me aside and said earnestly, "Remember to live a good life and eat more at home!" " "I didn't take it to heart at first. After we got married, we all focused on our work. We ate in the canteen. Feeling that I have never experienced the honeymoon period of marriage, I soon entered a cold period. There was a time when I had to work late at home at night, so I was so hungry that I had to drink water. But that day, my husband got up at night and saw that I was still trying to cook noodles, so he brought it in. I was surprised for a long time, took a few bites, and repeatedly praised it as delicious! " I know you should be hungry now. "My husband smiled. I was shocked. It turned out that he was obsessed with it. I went to his house when I first fell in love. I dare not eat too much in order to shape my image at the dinner table during the day. I am so hungry in the middle of the night, get up and get ready to drink some water. I didn't expect him to get up. He smiled and told me that you are not enough! Then I cooked a bowl of noodles in the kitchen. Like thieves, they secretly had a midnight snack in the kitchen. I was afraid of scalding, so he ate it first and then gave it to me. Although the scene looks particularly silly, it is romantic and sweet to think about it. Memories and reality overlap, and the temperature comes from the bowl in my hand, and I feel it in my heart. He accompanied me to finish the work that day, and we chatted. We agreed to cook for a long time at home on weekends and buy food together. He came to the chef, and then we often agreed to cook and eat together at home. Life began to change slowly. One is busy in the kitchen, the other is helping to wash and cut vegetables, exchanging recipes and tastes. The distance between husband and wife has narrowed a lot. Sitting together for dinner and sharing what I saw and felt suddenly made me feel that this is the real life! I haven't felt the little happiness flowing from sizzling cooking. I can't taste the beauty of life and feel the sincerity of my feelings without a family sitting around the dining table and tasting hot food. No matter how the food tastes, as long as it is cooked by yourself and your lover, it will feel delicious. Dabao also said before that the most anticipated thing every day is to go home from school and see what delicious food is cooked at home today. As soon as I entered the room, there were hot meals, parents chatting and communicating, and the feeling of home jumped in front of me. In such a scene, the contradiction between husband and wife has a space to ease, and children can feel the love of their parents and get safety and happiness. Only then did I really understand my mother's advice. It is no wonder that in the eyes of parents' generation, the kitchen and dining table are a barometer of the relationship between husband and wife. Lin Yutang said that the happiness of life is nothing more than four things: first, sleeping in your own bed; The second is to eat meals cooked by parents; The third is to listen to your lover; The fourth is to play games with children. This shows China people's pursuit of happiness and simple family life. Beautiful love will slowly precipitate from the glitz of the wind, flowers and snow into the warmth soaked in rice, oil and salt. Husband and wife, there are fireworks in the kitchen at home, care outside, spiritual communication and dependence in life. This is the essence of life.