A big family with three children and more children growing up together is a strange field.
Stills from the movie My Brothers and Sisters
When I was a child, I always wondered why foreigners love having children so much. Going out for a walk, the back seat of the car is full, the eldest brother has entered adolescence, and the youngest sister is still holding a pacifier in her father's arms.
In fact, 40 years ago, it was the same in China. Otherwise, how can there be such a saying that "big sister looks like mom" and "big sister looks like mom"?
What is the focus of the family life of three children?
Children's songs sing: "One monk carries water to drink, two monks carry water to drink, and three monks have no water to drink", which means that things that suffer from inequality and are not widowed must be fair and just, otherwise there will be chaos if there are too many people.
The same is true of raising children. A child can be rich or poor. Two children should think about it, and three children should have a bowl of water, otherwise family harmony will be greatly reduced.
1
In a family of three children, my first thought is little Sheldon.
Little Sheldon is a prequel to the famous American drama The Big Bang Theory. Because the role of Sheldon is so popular, I wrote a play specially for his childhood.
As a result, the spiteful little Sheldon got angry, and from the first season to the fourth season, there was no sign of ending.
The little Sheldon family
In Little Sheldon, the author explains the origin of adult Sheldon's personality and quirks, and focuses on the quiet and happy daily life of a family.
Sheldon's father George is an alcoholic football coach and works in a public school. Mother Mary is a housewife and usually works part-time in the church.
Little George's brother is simple-minded and loves sports.
Little George, that scum
Missy, the sister of fraternal twins, is older than a child, and her emotional intelligence is surprisingly high.
Ghost precision Xi
Sheldon is a typical Asperger's child with high IQ, unsociable and self-centered.
(Note: Asperger's syndrome is an autism disorder characterized by social difficulties, narrow interests and repetitive specific behaviors, but it still maintains language and cognitive development relatively. )
Sheldon Jr., King of the Universe
Sheldon's family is an ordinary American family, not only ordinary, but even poor: my father works alone to support the family, and my mother has three children, one of whom is Asperger's syndrome, which is actually very difficult.
Sheldon is afraid of cows. Because of his cleanliness, he doesn't want to shake hands with people. He would quietly hide in the school utility room and read books. He couldn't play with his peers, but he became old friends with the old professor.
It takes my mother a lot of time and energy to deal with Sheldon alone, and correspondingly, my mother will also neglect her younger brothers and sisters. Grandma regards Sheldon as her pet and makes no secret of her preference.
Sheldon Jr. shook hands in gloves.
According to this arrangement, the relationship between Sheldon's three children should not be very good. As a little genius, Sheldon attracted everyone's attention, and his brother and sister's self-esteem was constantly hit by intelligence. Brothers and sisters should be disgusted.
Actually, Sheldon's three children are on good terms. Missy has been quietly guiding Sheldon emotionally. George Jr. became a blue-collar worker after his father died, making money for Sheldon to finish rattan school. Brother and sister live together and help each other.
The reason why the three children don't care about gains and losses is the attitude of their parents.
Although her mother gave Sheldon a lot of time, she didn't relax her discipline and care for the other two children. Dad has no theory of achievement. His successor in mind is his younger brother George. He doesn't get good grades, but he likes playing football. In order to help George find a career direction, his father racked his brains to help him erect self-confidence.
Although Sheldon is loved by his grandmother, the material distribution at home is always a bowl of water.
Because he can't afford to go to a private school, Sheldon and his 15-year-old brother George study in the same class. Sheldon had to share a room with his sister Missy because there were not enough rooms.
Little genius who didn't get preferential treatment in the house
Family resources are not completely inclined to him because he is a genius. On the contrary, his family has been trying to guide him out of the world of genius and feel the life and emotions of normal people, because they understand that knowledge/ability is only a part of life and emotion is the source of a happy life.
2
The sitcom "New Arrive" which tells the story of China immigrants in the 1990s, the protagonist Huang Jia also has three children.
Father Louis is hardworking and enterprising, and mother Jessica is smart and strong. In order to realize the American dream, my father and family moved from Chinatown to autran to open a steak house.
The collision of Chinese and western cultures and the process of three sons adapting to school life have become the biggest attraction.
Stills of "The Newcomer"
Hip-hop teenager Eddie
Emory, a woman's friend
My little brother Evan is smart and sensible. In the play, Jessica, the tiger mother, can see through all the traps and lies of consumerism and erect a barrier for the family with her stubbornness, but when facing the intimacy of her youngest son, all this melts.
Intimate baby Evan
Compared with little Sheldon, the parents in The New Arrival are not so refined. China people follow the principle of "first adapt to the rules, then change the rules". All difficulties are to sharpen us and make us stronger. "
Louis and Jessica are not spiritual mentors. Their three children are basically in a state of free-range, except that they are well-fed, well-dressed and not bullied.
But unexpectedly, the three brothers have a good relationship. Season 3 episode 16, Eddie's favorite singer died unexpectedly, which was a great blow. In order to help him cheer up, Emory and Evan gathered all his friends and held a sharing meeting about sadness in the garden. After the failure, they simply painted a mural on the wall of their yacht with the singer, and finally let Eddie out of the haze.
My brother drew a picture for Eddie.
three
It is also a three-child family, and some brothers and sisters don't get along well.
The example here is Peacock, a film directed by Gu Changwei, which was nominated for best film at the 55th Berlin Film Festival. It tells the story of an ordinary family in 1970s and 1980s: a worker's parents, a stupid brother, an arrogant sister and a weak brother.
My sister devoted herself to pursuing her dreams, but she suffered a blow from spirit to body; My brother wants to escape from this family, but his self-esteem is destroyed a little; Only the younger brother is content with the status quo, enjoys his parents' preference and walks into his life with peace of mind. No dreams, no disappointment.
The eldest brother who occupies position C in Peacock.
There is a plot in the movie. In that era of lack of materials, during the Chinese New Year, the whole family divided sugar around the table. Mom counted the total: 106. Brother ate the bill quickly, leaving 2 1 each.
Brother, sister and brother laughed and scraped candy in front of them. Mom said: As usual, mom and dad each give ten to their brother, and if you are young, each give five to your brother. The two brothers reluctantly shared their own candy, and the elder brother ran away triumphantly with the candy.
In another scene, my brother took candy and fed it to the big white goose in the cage.
Divide sugar
This fuse ignited the anger of the brother and sister.
My brother bought rat poison and poured it into his brother's cup, trying to poison his brother. My sister saw it and poured out the poisonous water in the cup. Father glanced at the door, but made no noise.
The next day, mother poured poisonous water into the mouth of the big white goose and poisoned the goose in front of the whole family.
This kind of treatment can be described as extreme and horrible.
Parents did not reflect on their own eccentricity, nor did they feel guilty or change. But when the three children have irreconcilable contradictions, they are suppressed by violence and their eagerness and dissatisfaction are suppressed by fear.
Poison goose
After the event, my parents still preferred my brother, asking questions, and all the good things were my brother's. In order to find a partner for my son, I paid a lot of money and talked about a disabled daughter-in-law from the countryside. My brother lived a happy life with his wife and children.
My sister went to the road of self-destruction after her dream was shattered, and got married and left home after mental castration. My brother left home after his father shouted at the painting that there were hooligans in my house.
Many years later, when three people who resigned watched peacocks in the zoo, their parents didn't show up, as if they never existed.
It can be said that this is a complete failure for parents. They don't understand love, and there is no love. This depressed and gloomy family ruined the youth of three children, together with their hope and enthusiasm for life.
Raising children, in fact, eccentricity is not terrible. People are biased and have no preference for the impossible. But on the whole, we should have a balanced attitude, and we can't be completely average emotionally. At least treat children equally in material life and behavior norms.
If children are resentful because of different treatment, how can they help each other when they grow up? What's the point of having so many children?
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