The next morning, when he woke up, it was of course a woman. He got up to prepare breakfast for the other half, woke up the children, dressed them in school uniforms, fed them breakfast, packed lunch, and then drove them to school. When he got home, he picked out the clothes that needed dry cleaning and sent them to the dry cleaner. On the way back, he also stopped by the bank, then went to the supermarket to buy something. When he got home, he put down his things and paid off the bill and checkbook.
When he cleaned the cat box and bathed the dog, it was already one o'clock in the afternoon. He hurried to make the bed, wash clothes, vacuum the carpet, dust, clean and scrub the kitchen floor. He rushed to school to pick up the children, and had an argument with them on his way back. He prepared snacks and milk, urged the children to do their homework, then set up the ironing board and watched TV while busy.
At 4: 30, he started peeling potatoes, washing vegetables to make salads, wrapping pork chops, peeling fresh beans and preparing dinner. After dinner, he began to clean the kitchen, turn on the dishwasher, fold clean clothes, bathe the children and send them to bed.
At nine o'clock in the evening, he couldn't hold on, however, his daily routine was not over yet. He climbed into bed, where there were people waiting for him, and he had to and could not complain.
The next morning, as soon as he woke up, he knelt by the bed and prayed to the Lord: Lord, I really don't know what I think. How could I be stupid enough to envy my wife staying at home all day? Please, oh! Please, let's change it back!
Lord of infinite wisdom, answer him: my child, I think you have suffered a lot, and I will be glad to make everything back to the way it was. but ......
You must wait another nine months. Last night, you were pregnant
Jokes suitable for eating goods
1. Who put two strawberry cakes on the table? I gave them lovely names "One Piece" and "Two Pieces". I stole one, and now there are two left.
2. Going back to school at the weekend, I am preparing to lock the delicious food I brought back from home in the cupboard. My roommate said, "Do you really think I will eat your food? I have been playing with you! "
I said simply, "but you always play for real!" "
In a western restaurant, there is a man and a woman at the dining table. The girls had a good time. The boy looked at it affectionately. After a while, the boy said, "Can you associate with me?"
The girl quickly put down the chicken leg. "I'm sorry. . I have a boyfriend. . "
The boy looked sad when he lowered his head. After a while, the girl asked, "Can I still eat?"
The boy looked up helplessly and said, "Let's eat. . . This is a story of eating goods and being crazy about goods …
4. Go to a buffet with friends who eat delicious food. The boss who eats keeps staring at him, mainly because he eats too much.
After eating, you have to take two oranges back to eat before you leave. The waiter won't let you take them out, saying it's a rule that you can't take them out!
The goods asked slowly: No, give me four more jiaozi!
At this time, the boss couldn't stand it anymore and shouted, get out, let him take it, and get out quickly. . .
5. See the number in weighing scale: I want to lose weight. When buying clothes: I want to lose weight. Meet someone with a good figure: I want to lose weight. Seeing myself in the mirror: I want to lose weight. Meet someone you like: I want to lose weight. See food: Fuck your weight loss!
A joke told to children
In the evening, my 7-year-old daughter and I chatted while watching TV.
My daughter asked me, "Mom, is Dad your boyfriend?"
I told my daughter that I used to be, but now I'm not.
She asked again why?
Me: "Your father used to be my classmate, then my friend, then my boyfriend, then he became my mother's husband, and now he is my daughter's father."
Hearing this, the daughter suddenly opened her mouth wide, and after a while she exclaimed, "Oh, your relationship is really complicated!" " "
I bought a hamburger in the street. When I get home, my husband and daughter will eat it.
The second-rate husband said: you are still young, there are many delicious foods, and it is not too late to eat again!
Who knows, my daughter came and said, You are so old, you haven't eaten anything delicious, and you have the face to take it from me!
I heard two children talking on the bus. A child said, "Every family has its own problems!"
The other party took the words: "Your house is just a difficult book to read, and I am a TM sutra depository."
Suddenly I sighed: No matter how sad your family life is, your understanding is really high, my child!
4. Dad: You should set a good example for your sister.
Son: But she won't listen to me.
Dad: That means you are an incompetent person.
Son: Then she won't listen to you either!
5. Son: "Mom, why did you mix water into the meat?" .
Me: "The dumpling stuffing mixed like this is soft and delicious!" "
After a while, the son said as if he had discovered a new continent: "No wonder some people sell water-injected meat, but they all sell it to others to pack jiaozi!" " "
Me. . .
Roommate's joke
Roommate: "Zongzi is too expensive. Can we celebrate the Dragon Boat Festival in other ways? "
Me: "Of course, you can also go to the river ..."
After washing my face, I am looking in the mirror without glasses. I said to my roommate in an ostentatious manner, "I find I look good without glasses."
Idiot said, "That's because you can't see clearly ..."
3. Roommates were chatting there, and one person asked, "What was my biggest fear when I slept and dreamed when I was a child?"
The other said, "I think it's looking for a toilet."
Then he asked, "What is more terrible than looking for a toilet?"
My roommate thought for a moment and said, "I found the toilet."
4. When I was sleeping last night, my roommate shouted: Damn, I am not my own! ?
Everyone was scared by him! Ask why!
The goods store took a deep breath and said, I just went into my mother's room to look at my mother's photo album and needed a password. The password question is, what's my son's name? I lost my name and even prompted the wrong password!
In graduation season, the air is filled with sadness. The boys in the dormitory are sitting in a restaurant on the side of the road, chatting about their future plans while drinking.
Fat Liu said: "After graduation, I must stay in a big city, because there are many opportunities in big cities."
The roommate on the side quickly echoed: "Yes, yes, it is a lot, but it is too expensive at night!"