It's all Stephen Chow's.

King of comedy:

You can call me a walk-on, but you can't call me a smelly walk-on!

In fact, your grandmother is the greatest person. She raised you so much. . . "

Jianghu:

You don't listen, you don't understand, you understand and don't do, you make mistakes, you admit and don't change, you change and refuse to say, what should I do? What should I do?

Garfield:

I don't watch TV every time I finish eating. Sometimes I watch TV while eating. Some changes in my life will increase the fun.

From now on, I am no longer greedy, but I just love to eat.

I only eat four meals a day … breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks.

My weight is my own business.

Do you think it is easy to sleep 18 a day?

I am not a glutton, nor do I eat everything. I'm just an action art (pointing to the food in front) and I'm finishing my work.

Life may have other meanings besides eating and sleeping, but I think it's good not to eat.

If I come later in the morning, I want the morning one.

Some people call this laziness, and I call it deep thinking.

Domestic zero zero seven

"In ancient times, Guan Yunchang concentrated on playing chess to detoxify. Now I concentrate on watching porn, digging bones and taking warheads."

Do you think I can't find you if I hide? It's no use! An excellent person like you is as bright and outstanding as a firefly in the dark, no matter where you are. Your melancholy eyes, your sparse beard, your magical knife technique and that dry martini all fascinated me deeply. However, although this is excellent, there are rules. Anyway, you have to pay for last night's accommodation. Don't you have to pay that woman?

"Going East and Going West":

Tony Leung Chiu Wai: Two small sausages.

Xiao er: I thought you were eating. .

Tony Leung Chiu Wai: Shit, it won't fit. .

King of destruction:

Policeman A: Did you call the police?

Jinyin He: (Nodding) Yes. .

Policeman A: (Look) Was it robbed?

Jinyin He: It's all gone. .

Policeman A: What's your name?

Jinyin He: Jinyin He. .

Policeman A: Where's the ID card?

Jinyin He: Brother, where do you think I can hide my ID card now?

Policeman A: Do you remember the man who robbed you?

Jinyin He:. . (suddenly)

Policeman A: I mean, do you remember the man who robbed you? .

Jinyin He: (shaking his head). . not understand

Policeman B: He asked if you remember the man who robbed you!

Jinyin He: It doesn't matter whether I remember or not. Actually, I volunteered.

Policeman A: Huh? ! You volunteered? !

Jinyin He: Actually, I was passing by here just now, and a man in rags came over and said that he had no clothes and nothing.

Eating, having a wife and children at home, undressing while talking and asking if I mind. I said I mind a little, but

You're pathetic. You decide for yourself. I voluntarily took off my underwear. I can help people to the end if I want. Because I'm afraid people will think I am.

He was an exhibitionist, so I called the police. Let's communicate first.

Policeman a: . Got it! (Picking up the walkie-talkie) Call the front desk and find an exhibitionist on the street, suspected of mild mental retardation and

Obstruct the office, please send a car immediately. . .

Jinyin He: Hello! Did you hear me clearly? Shall I repeat it? Poor man just now! ~

Policeman A: Let's go, retarded exhibitionist! It's sad to have people like you in this world!

Shaolin soccer:

I'm not afraid to tell you, I've seen UFOs since BB, which is what the world calls UFOs and UFOs. You got it? When I was 4 years old, I saw the legendary Loch Ness monster again. I talked with bigfoot in the Himalayas and guessed spring. Plus, I play roller coasters every morning, pirate ships at night, pirate ships in the morning, roller coasters at night and pirate ships many times at dusk. Let me tell you something.

Lu's Dragon Belief:

Good is rewarded with good, and evil with evil. There is a natural cycle, and the weather is beautiful. I once caught a dragon and a phoenix by mistake. The emperor caught me today, which is really instructive. My admiration for the emperor is like a raging river and an uncontrollable Yellow River.

After beheading the head of a chicken, burning yellow paper, and bleeding for the alliance, Wei Xiaobao, you are my brother in the Heaven and Earth Society, and temporarily incorporated into Aoki Hall. We have ten commandments, twenty commandments, thirty commandments and eighty commandments. If you commit one of them, even if you are my apprentice, you will die with a knife.

Tang Bohu ordered autumn fragrance;

My wife, I live near Suzhou. There is a house and a field at home, and it is endless. Who knows that Tang Bohu, he is outrageous and ruthless, colluding with officials to look down on heaven, occupying my big house and my land. My grandfather turned against him and he hit him with a stick. My grandmother called him a liar, but he caught him in the Tang family and raped her a hundred times. Finally, she hanged herself and hated the world. He also kicked my father and son out of the house and drifted to the river. In order to support my father, I had to beg alone in front of the temple. Who knows that Tang Bohu is so insidious that he didn't know this situation, so he sent someone to plot against him and beat my father and son in front of the whole city. The little man was strong and his life was saved. Poor father, he's dead! This kind of hate is harder to fill. In order to bury my father, I had to sell myself as a slave, earn money diligently, and read articles at the same time, vowing to gain fame and fortune, and my enemies will be strong! Since then, Tang Yin's poems have been with me, and I remember this unforgettable hatred! ! !

Xiao Qiang! Xiao Qiang, what's wrong with you Xiao Qiang? Xiao Qiang, you can't die! I live alone with you, share joys and sorrows for so many years, and have always taught you to raise you as your own flesh and blood. Unexpectedly, today, white-haired people send black-haired people!

God of food:

The alkaline water surface has not been chilled, so it is full of alkaline water. Fish balls also have no fishy smell, but in order to hide it, you specially added curry juice to make curry fish balls. But it's naive, because you haven't cooked enough time. The taste of curry is only on the surface, not at all. Fish balls will be diluted when they are put into soup. A good curry fish balls will keep you from tasting fish and curry. Defeat Never pick carrots, too much muscle, failure! The pigskin was so badly cooked that it didn't bite the head. Defeat Pig blood will rot, disperse and fail when it is caught! The worst thing is the large intestine, which is not cleaned at all, and there is a lump of shit. Are you mistaken? Hey, shit. Hey, shit. Did you get a look at him? Hey, shit!

He is proud, but kind-hearted. He keeps a low profile, but he is admired by thousands of people. He can cook a super dish called the art of fire with the fire given by God to mankind. Is he the incarnation of the immortal? Or the Hellscream? No one knows, but what is certain is that everyone gives him a title-food ~ ~ Oh, my God!

A Chinese Odyssey:

Tony Leung Chiu Wai: At that time, the distance between us was seven meters and eight centimeters. In less than a quarter of time, I made a decision. I think he has a good personality and good skills, so I decided to introduce him to my sister.

Faye Wong: I was three meters and eight centimeters away from this man. In less than a quarter of the time, I made a decision. Since all my money is gone and that bastard wants to invite me again, I decided to sit down and eat his meal.

Inn owner: I didn't know the distance from them at that time. I made a decision without even lighting the incense: close the door early.

Stephen Chow series of comedies:

Actually, I'm an actor. Over and over again, it contains too many things: self-esteem, pursuit, persistence and ideals. ...

Ball, that's not true! I've always wanted to say this to China.

Why? I also want to know why! Why isn't my dad Li Ka-shing?

Why did I lose my hair when I was so handsome? You two are so ugly, why don't you lose your hair?

Many people are asking: Why isn't my dad Li Ka-shing? )

What's your mother's name? (leading to the life of Xiao Yao)

People and goblins are born of their mothers, but the difference is that people are born of their mothers and demons are their mothers. ......

Therefore, being a demon is like being a human being. You should have a kind heart, a kind heart.

It is no longer a demon, but a shemale. (shemale theory)

I am willing to die for you! (Ng Man Tat's pledge of eternal love, the original oath can do this)

My lover is a hero in the world, and one day he will step on the colorful clouds to marry me.

I guessed the front, but I couldn't guess the ending ... (This is the most touching place, speechless)

Why do you say so much? Fight! ! ! —

Master, cut it. It's all burnt. . . .