The key word is: writing.

What is life?

Life is full of conflicts. Everyone walks in the world and needs to face some ultimate problems: pursuing love and realizing their own value, and time is gone forever.

In Zhang Ailing's love life, there are two most gossips.

She and Hu Lancheng.

She and Yarra.

She finally gave up these two relationships, because she found that love is also unreliable.

She has always understood that the realization of self-worth lies in writing.

What did she write for the rest of her life?

The closer she got to the end of her life, the more consciously she returned to family history.

Even people she's never met.

She loves them.

Because they are blood relatives.

They will never leave her.

Miss Zhang has always longed for love, so her departure and future life are still a cycle of seeking love and self-worth.

In this process, the emergence of fleas is more spiritual than material.

Fleas are actually a kind of spiritual loneliness bite for her.

In a foreign land

She still has to trace her family history.

To find the energy of life.

Zhang Ailing once defined her writing as "looking for ordinary people in legends and looking for legends among ordinary people". In that war-torn era, the young girl Zhang Ailing surprised the literary world with her unique writing style. She is brilliant and sees through the world. She loves to use colors and often speaks amazingly. She is good at writing legends in ordinary people's lives. Even the most ordinary people can write their extraordinary things. And Zhang Ailing's own life situation can also be called a "legend", which experienced the alternation of fame and frustration, prosperity and loneliness, just like a dazzling meteor across the night sky, and then fell silent after thunder. Perhaps it is Zhang Ailing's dazzling aura and ups and downs that make people accustomed to a kind of "gossip" and "fragmentation" reading. She relishes her emotional experience, rich family background and clothing taste. The nosy person even dug out her menu and home appliance brand from the garbage, as if deliberately dressing up Zhang Ailing as a generation of "petty bourgeoisie godmother" and "literary goddess" and pushing her to the stage to comment. However, whether it is the disdain that once sneered at or the pursuit that is almost crazy now, it is inevitable that Zhang Ailing will be somewhat ungrounded because she highlights the "legend". The biography "Flea Full of Chinese Robes: Zhang Ailing's Later Life" focuses on Zhang Ailing's nameless later life. It deeply interprets her from many angles and countless trivial matters in life, and describes how she wanders in a foreign land and runs from left to right for the publication of her works. Even though she experienced emotional abandonment, the drag of marriage, economic embarrassment and wandering without a fixed address, she never gave up her efforts and attempts to write and struggled with the setbacks of fate with a pen. In the writer's works, Zhang Ailing is no longer a legend, but a simple writer.

After 1946, Zhang Ailing's writing seems to have lost the spirit and spirit of previous years, and turned to be low, forbearing and dumb. Later, for a long time, I didn't even write any works, so I had to make a living by writing scripts. The rewriting of The Golden Lock and her autobiographical novel little reunion in her later years have been criticized. Until now, Zhang Ailing's novels and essays included in Legend and Gossip in her early years are all recognized as her representative works. However, North Iraq does not want to judge the success or failure of Zhang Ailing's writing career from the utilitarian point of view. On the contrary, he gave a high degree of understanding and respect to the impermanence and helplessness of the writer's fate under the torrent of the times and Zhang Ailing's life of doing her best to write. Just like those who are destined to belong to the future, those who neither meet the requirements of the times nor adapt to the requirements of the times, he will stick to his own eyes and keep an eye on his own times. Zhang Ailing kept a clear understanding and self-control of literature all her life. But objectively speaking, it is not that Zhang Ailing deliberately chose to deviate from the mainstream, but because she has a temperament that transcends the times. In the chaotic colors, she is a firewatch, who tells the truth that the background color of life is desolate with the thorough calmness and maverick of pessimists. She is always ahead of the trend, and everyone is scrambling to watch, but if she is put in a special era of pursuing sameness, everything seems so strange and out of place with her surroundings. "At the Dai Wen meeting in the 1950s, everyone else was wearing blue cloth, but she was wearing a low-key white openwork sweater with a cheongsam. Although she is sitting in the last row, she still feels' disconsolate threat'. "

During the period of 1949, Zhang Ailing calmly welcomed the great changes of the times, and her relationship with Hu Lancheng made her a "drowning person", saying that her political stance was problematic, and she was ignorant and treacherous. In the eyes of patriots shouting nationalism, this is an irrefutable "original sin." In the four or five years when her reputation declined, Zhang Ailing reached the first trough of her writing career. Frankly speaking, Zhang Ailing never tried to change, to be kitsch, and to narrow the distance between herself and the new literary line. She endowed the novel Eighteen Springs with a "fashionable" ending, which freed the hero and heroine from the weakness of the bourgeoisie and moved towards a broad world of construction. She also wrote Xiao Ai, a maid who was oppressed in the old society and finally ushered in a new life after the founding of New China. This is a very pure "proletarian story". But for this change, Zhang Ailing still can't adapt. After repeated pandering and failure, she finally chose to escape from Shanghai, which she once loved most. Yi Bei used the word "resistance" to describe Zhang Ailing's departure in those years, because "for Zhang Ailing, writing has always been a kind of resistance, a disease and a medicine". She never wants to change the world, just doesn't want to be changed by the world. Sometimes you have to give up to stick to it.

Zhang Ailing's departure seems to be a turning point in her own life. From then on, she was completely lonely and disappeared from people's sight for many years. Although she went to Hong Kong and the United States to seek development, her English writing was not so smooth, and her life in a foreign country was also ups and downs, but at least every step was not the worst choice for her. Many years later, Zhang Ailing finally changed Eighteen Springs into a half-life fate, deleted the politicized ending, restored the true identity of the characters, and left the incomplete characters incomplete. She said, "mortals can represent the total amount of this era better than heroes." And Zhang Ailing herself is not thorough, but she is completely honest about writing. Looking at Zhang Ailing's later period written by Yi Bei, I was also moved by his sincerity. I still remember the book: "A person is lucky to really love something in his life and carry it through to the end. The piety of a pilgrim can not reverse Gan Kun, but can give inner richness and security. " Yes, due to the change of mood and ups and downs of life, Zhang Ailing in her later years no longer believes in any legends, and the legendary stories, when taken apart, are just the basis of daily life. She has made subversive changes to herself, which is precisely the anti-climax and anti-legend in her aesthetic ideal. She bid farewell to the "glamorous" brushwork when she was young, and the brushwork tends to be more natural and closer to life itself.

Northern Iraq has always followed this simple and almost natural writing style. In Flea Covered in Hanfu, there is no obvious time clue to advance the story, and there is no deliberate narrative climax hidden in the main part. On the contrary, it adopts a chapter-by-chapter structure, including reviewing every little thing in Zhang Ailing's life: escape, missing love, correspondence, overthrow ... Each chapter has its own theme, and each episode basically "completes" Zhang Ailing's life experience and the people and things involved, overlapping each other, so that the story is submerged in the details of life, and the characters and stories naturally flow, and a richer and more real Zhang Ailing is outlined in a three-dimensional way.

Literature is Zhang Ailing's conversion and her last insistence. She doesn't want to be a drifter, much less a hero or a soldier. No matter how the outside world changes, it has nothing to do with her. She is an independent, detached and self-respecting writer. For the rest of her life, she was like a wandering traveler, constantly throwing away the clothes of life. As long as she abandons love, friendship, marriage and work, she will gain dignity and greater freedom. When she was young, Zhang Ailing once said, "When there is no one to pay, my life is full of joy." Zhang Ailing, a middle-aged woman, is still struggling for life. In a letter to her husband Yala, she wrote: "Walking on the roof in the dark, I wonder if you understand my situation. I don't think there is anyone in the world who can ask me for help. " In her later years, she hid in her little room, writing stories about her family over and over again, seeking comfort in her memories. She said, "I sometimes feel like an island." Soon after, she passed away peacefully in her apartment.

But the whole society is always used to judging a person's achievements, even happiness, by the values of most people. If Zhang Ailing is an alien, she will not be liked by most people of her time, so how many people really understand her today? Yi Bei never used miserable or pitiful words to describe Zhang Ailing's later life. He knew that her loneliness had penetrated into the bone marrow. "She lives well, but she is a little lonely, that's all." She eventually died alone, ordinary but never mediocre; She died, but what she left behind is eternal.

Hope to adopt! ! ! Thank you! ! !