? Combining books with life, I sum up the secret of marriage happiness as: "one core, three main points." When you hold the happy troika, you can reap stable happiness.
? One core: always look for the root of everything from yourself.
? Nothing happens for no reason. When there is a relationship conflict, look for the reasons from yourself first.
? Two or three o'clock-the troika of a happy marriage
? 0 1, do not expect, do not expect
? There is a saying: how vigorous when you are in love, how tragic when you are apart. When everything is calm, calm down and think about it. Was the original love true love? Is that gorgeous and dazzling emotion because of the person you love, or is your unmet needs projected on him or her? Think that with him (her), your needs will be met?
? When he (she) can no longer meet your needs, you panic, so you try your best to make the other person give in and make yourself happy, but you don't realize that this feeling stems from your fragile self-protection mechanism. If you don't face up to this relationship, your relationship will get worse and worse, and the sweet bubble will be disillusioned and burst.
? I remember when I was in love, one day, Huahua washed the fruit she bought and put it on the dining table. When she came out of the kitchen, she found that all the fruits had been eaten. At that time, Huahua froze and all the voices in her heart came out. A voice said, "God, this guy doesn't know to leave me some, even one." Some said, "This person is too stubborn to consider my feelings"; Some people say, "This is his true side" ... Later, a voice from inside broke these arguments. It said, "I am not Snow White, and he is not Prince Charming. He is him and I am me. I have no right to impose my ideas on him. I love this man, and I want a truly happy life, not a romantic fantasy. "
? Based on this understanding, Huahua and her husband are independent and interdependent. As they get along with each other for a long time, they gradually understand each other's preferences. He will take time to spend with Huahua, and he will think of her when he has no peers ... He does this because he knows Huahua will really like her, he is loving her in the way she likes, and she also enjoys this love because she knows she is worth it. Flush will learn some work skills to help him work easily and study recipes because he is also worth it.
? When you realize all kinds of feelings in marriage, don't shy away, face it bravely and face it squarely. When you stop projecting your needs on each other, you have a bargaining chip to embrace happiness.
? 02. Absolute unconditional love
? Love is easy, but absolute unconditional love requires inner practice. Many parents will say "I love my children very much", but when you are scolded by the teacher because your children have not finished their homework, can you still love your children unconditionally? If one party in a marriage always finds fault with you, doesn't respond to you and doesn't respect you, can you still love him or her?
? I appreciate the idea that if you love each other, influence them, no matter how he (she) treats you, because he (she) is the one you love; If you don't love, then let go decisively, don't embarrass others and humiliate yourself.
? Marriage is a person's business, nothing else, not caused by other people's behavior, just because you are you. Above the iceberg is the appearance that other people's behavior makes you happy or unhappy. Under the iceberg, you are the root of the problem. If you love yourself enough, you will naturally get love.
? Partners play a triple role in this life journey:
The mirror can show you the discomfort that attracts your attention. ? ?
? Before the age of 6, Huahua grew up with her grandmother. Although her mother always takes care of her, she sometimes disappears. At that time, there were many children in my uncle's family, and there was always something grandma couldn't take care of, so Huahua was a person who needed to be affirmed, but the more she needed it, the more she tried to ignore it and showed indifference.
? After entering marriage, sometimes the husband's occasional words will make Huahua fall into depression, and the victim's role will be at a loss and helpless. When this kind of emotion appears frequently, Huahua feels that she must face it, otherwise it will seriously affect her life. Therefore, whenever there is such a feeling of self-denial, Huahua will calm down and feel it, follow its guidance to find the source, and then tell the feeling and let Mr. Wang help us analyze it together.
Here, your partner enters the second role: teacher, who inspires and inspires you when you explore your true self.
? When Huahua put down her guard to perceive and explore, her husband's patient listening and encouragement gave her the courage to repair. They have a good habit of praising each other every day, so they are both advantages in each other's hearts. This is also an important role of language influence, which will guide your attention. With the passage of time, Huahua's heart has become stronger, and it has gradually developed in its own direction in the process of exploration.
A good partner is both a mentor and a friend. The third role of a partner: playmate, start and accompany your life journey.
? Travel together, grow together, watch the flowers bloom and fall, and the tide rises and falls. ...
? 03, self-sufficient.
? Not because of happiness, but because of satisfaction.
? Happy people are always similar, but unhappy people are different. Marriage is the intimate relationship that can help you see through yourself and help you grow up. With continuous exploration, you will find that everything you have been pursuing is in front of you.