1. monogamy. Before 1949, Miao people were monogamous except for a few original wives who had no children. Miao people generally do not intermarry with other ethnic groups. Branches of the same ethnic group with different costumes rarely marry or do not marry. Miao people prohibit intermarriage. In eastern Guizhou, even those who worship as brothers are regarded as the same clan, and their children are brothers and sisters, so they cannot marry. In recent decades, I have learned that it is unscientific for my aunt and uncle to get married, and I have also changed the old custom of my aunt and uncle getting married. 2. Free love. The more Miao people live together, the more independent their marriage is, which is achieved by young men and women personally participating in "traveling" social activities. Even if arranged by parents, people who are engaged but not married are free to participate in normal "travel" social activities. The "travel" social activities of young men and women in Qiandongnan Prefecture are generally held on festivals or festivals. At that time, young men will whistle in the fixed playground near each village, make a "oh-oh" sound and invite them to sing. As soon as the girls hear it, they will know that the boys have arrived, and they will quietly invite each other to meet the boys, introduce each other, have a heart-to-heart talk, exchange experiences and exchange songs. Repeat this many times, find the right person from it, and then talk alone to build feelings. In some places, this is done every night. After dinner, the boys from each village went to different families' villages in groups of three or five. The social activities of Miao people in northwest Guizhou are called "playing Huashan Mountain" or "jumping on the moon" and "eating flat rice". Every holiday (that is, the first day to the fifteenth day of the first lunar month; On the fifth day of May, unmarried young men and women from all over the world gathered on a hillside in several villages to introduce each other, talk and sing. If they fall in love at first sight, they can pour out their love. The Miao nationality in Chuxiong, Yunnan Province had the custom of "girls' rooms" decades ago, that is, two public houses were set up collectively to let unmarried young men and women rest or stay after work, and the young people in the boys' rooms sang songs to each other and took the opportunity to choose their spouses. In addition, there is a bad habit of "grabbing girls" in some Miao areas of Honghe, Yunnan. If the robbed girl disagrees, she can go back; If the woman is willing, both parties will go back and tell their parents to prepare for the wedding. Miao young men and women living in western Hunan, including the northeast of Guizhou, the west of Hubei and the southeast corner of Sichuan, must also get married on the basis of "meeting girls" free love. Young men and women in Guangrongshui Miao Autonomous County have a kind of "sitting sister" (that is, talking and singing by the woman's fireplace). After many times of "sitting sister", we can establish a harmonious relationship with each other. 3. Engagement. After the Miao people fall in love freely, the man can ask the matchmaker to go to the woman's house to formally propose marriage. Generally speaking, the number of matchmakers is getting better and better, commonly known as "more is more expensive." If the woman's family agrees, an engagement wedding can be held. However, the specific ceremonies of Miao people vary from place to place. In Xiangxi area, if the bride's family wants to get engaged, they must drink a little wine and get the consent of the family before they can get engaged formally. Then the man's family will choose an auspicious day to give gifts to the woman's family, that is, to send glutinous rice cakes, tea oil and wine and meat. The woman's family will also invite her family to eat and drink for two days and three nights. After the ceremony, the man chose a day to get married. In the Miao nationality at the junction of Sichuan, Guizhou and Yunnan, the man invited the matchmaker to the woman's house for betrothal, and often the matchmaker would say that a family asked your girl to carry water. If the woman agrees, the matchmaker will come back to call the man's parents and set an auspicious day to get married. If the marriage is arranged by parents, the man's parents will kill a sheep and send it to the woman's house, and the woman will take half of it, leaving half to be brought back by the man's house, indicating that it will not increase the burden on the man's family and express her willingness to get married. After that, the man's family asked the matchmaker to bring a pair of chickens, a bag of fried noodles and a bag of dried eggs to the woman's house to show her engagement intention, indicating that the engagement formalities have been completed; If the woman doesn't agree, kill a sheep and send it to the man's house in return. After both men and women agreed on the wedding date, their parents actively prepared gifts and food and found two or three escorts and three escorts respectively. 4. Get married. Miao weddings are generally grand, and both male and female hosts have to slaughter pigs and sheep to entertain relatives and guests in the countryside. Generally, it includes procedures such as seeing off relatives and welcoming relatives. However, wedding ceremonies vary from place to place. For example, in Sichuan, Guizhou and Yunnan, Miao people hold weddings. The man wants to kill a pig, a pair of chickens, a few pots of wine, some eggs and a live cow, and the groom's escort sends it to the woman's house as a gift to pick up the bride. They lived in the woman's house for a day or two, and the woman's house also killed a pig to collect it, leaving half for the man's house as a gift; At the same time, the bride and escort will follow the groom and escort to the man's house. On the way, the man and the man cleared the way in front, the bride and the escort followed, and the gift picker walked last. When the bride approached the groom's house, the groom's parents came out to meet the bride and accompany her. When eating, the bride and the escort sit at the same table, the groom and the escort sit at the same table, and others sit casually. In the evening, young men and women sing and play lusheng and harmonica. Old people also participate in singing, which is very lively. In Xiangxi area, when the wedding procession comes to the door, the woman's house closes first, the host and guest set off firecrackers at the same time, and the man's house sends a bag of money into the door, which is called "opening ceremony", and the woman's house opens the door to welcome. After breakfast, the bride got married, and the cousin carried the bride into the sedan chair. The bride is accompanied by relatives, his girlfriend and children, a singer and so on. The bride's girlfriends are all dressed up, and only when the bride steps into the man's house will she know who the bride is. After entering the door, don't worship, go straight to the fire pit and sit down. The bride and groom will drink a glass of wine, eat a piece of meat, and then share a pot of medicine to wash their faces and exorcise evil spirits. After the wedding, singers from both sides will sing "Harmony Song" for three consecutive days after dinner, and the wedding will be over. Back to the door. Miao marriage has the custom of returning to the bride's family, that is, the bride returns to her family after marrying the groom. But when, how long and the complexity of the ceremony. Every place is different. In some places, you have to go back to the door to have sex. For example, in Xiangxi, the bride and groom can only meet within three days of the wedding, but they can only live together after staying at their parents' house for one night and then returning to the man's house the next day. This night is the wedding night of the bride and groom. In Sichuan, Guizhou and Yunnan, after the bride lives in her husband's family for a month or two, the groom will accompany the bride back to her family for a few days, and then both of them will return to her family. In Qiandongnan Prefecture, sending the bride home is the most solemn ceremony in the Miao wedding. It is popular in the local area to take the woman to the man's house for the engagement ceremony. On the third day after the engagement, the woman's family sent several girls to send clothes to the bride, and the groom's family took the initiative to send the bride two jars of rice wine, two pig legs, one glutinous rice, one glutinous rice cake, two cakes as big as a sieve, and chickens and ducks. Some people have to send a handful of rice. At that time, the man will invite young men and women at home to accompany the bride back to the door according to the requirements of the woman's parents, while the groom will stay at home and cannot attend the escort. On the night of returning to her parents' home, the bride's parents gave a banquet to entertain the guests and invited young men and women at home to accompany them. Men share a table. During the dinner, the host and guest singers began to sing Miao ancient songs, asking each other questions about national history and toasting each other while singing, which was an excellent opportunity to learn from each other and impart Miao historical and cultural knowledge. After breakfast the next day, the accompanying guests came to invite guests to their homes one after another, so that the whole village was filled with wine and songs and immersed in a happy atmosphere. After visiting from house to house, the guests finally went back to the bride's house for a farewell dinner and prepared to go back to the groom's house. At this time, men will give gifts to the bride's home, which is more or less casual, while the host will give a white handkerchief and gifts. When the guests left, both men and women in the village came out to see them off. Out of the stockade, the girls in the bride's village gathered around the boys to ask for colorful flowers. Suddenly, the host and guest sang a farewell song, and the return ceremony ended, and the bride stayed at her family for a long time. Later, during the Chinese New Year holiday or busy farming, the groom's family sent someone to pick up the bride and returned to his parents' house in a few days. This was repeated many times, and finally the groom's mother picked up the bride, and then she lived in her husband's house for a long time and began to live with her husband. Now this custom has gradually changed.