My son looks like you! That's bullshit！ I'm his father!
4. Xiaoshuko, Galeries Lafayette, do you have any orders to wait in bed?
What would you do if your opponent fell into the water? Piss in it.
6. The towel said to the coin: Son. If you put on a doctor's hat, you will be worth a hundred times.
7. What is tenderness? Tenderness is when tofu is sandwiched with chopsticks.
8, boss, a bowl of mala Tang, not spicy, don't burn your TM to eat a bowl.
9. If you don't have hands, do you still have gloves? Then why are you still wearing a bra?
10, I also want to experience the feeling of being chased! You can buy things without giving money.
1 1. Do you want to make your uncle miserable or your brother miserable? Uncle, your brother is out.
12, local tyrant, let's be friends. No, all my money was saved by giving up treatment.
13, I'm too thin. Well, I'm going to get fat. Give it up. Being fat is not full.
14, what are you doing? You are so obsessed with my idea.
15, m: Is the chocolate I sent delicious? Woman: It's delicious. Boyfriend likes it very much.
Your sun is out. Speak human words. You are too dark. I won't hit you if you come here.
17, I just played chess with my friend, and he ate me very handsome. What are you talking about? I'm so handsome.
18, there is a kind of person who doesn't like you and won't let you like others! Are you talking about the head teacher?
19 doctor, I can't see. What are the main aspects? I opened my wallet and couldn't see the money.
20. You have changed. It's not as simple as before. What happened? Stop it, I'm talking to my homework.
2 1, you are the sun in my heart! Really? What an honor. Why do you say that? It's hard to look straight. .
22. Why do you always listen to songs while doing your homework? Didn't you see the background music when the protagonist did something important in the movie? !
23. People who can't control their figure will never succeed in life. No, you see, I'm fat if I want to be, and I'm fat if I want to be.
24, I hope to find a virgin voice did not fall, all female guests turned off the lights, a word was swallowed alive.
It is said that Confucius took students Zigong, Luz and Ziyou to May Day. A woman saw them and shouted, you are not human! Who is she talking about? Luz, because deer are horses.
26. When I was in college, I skipped classes, failed, dumped people, got dumped, fought, remembered wrong, and broke things. I did everything I could ~ Have you ever died?
27. She said to her boyfriend who loves literature: Honey, have a drink with me! Boyfriend's poetic farewell: friends drink less, lovers talk more. My girlfriend slammed the door and left.
28. After working overtime for several days in a row, an employee doesn't want to go to work tomorrow and wants to ask for leave on the grounds of catching a cold. The boss asked: What are you doing on vacation? The worker quickly said, I may catch a cold tomorrow!
Husband: There have been many articles about the harm of smoking in the newspaper recently, so I made up my mind. Wife: No more smoking? Husband: Never read that kind of article again.
30.m: It's raining heavily today. Woman: Yes. Man: That's because God is drooling over you. W: So that gust of wind just now was a P from God?
3 1, a man said to his girlfriend: I dreamed yesterday that I built a love hut in your heart that belongs to both of us. Woman: I'm so touched. But my mother said: that's illegal construction.
32. In the restaurant, a monk said to the waitress, Miss is really beautiful! The young lady asked unhappily, how can a monk say such a thing? The monk asked, although I am a vegetarian, can't I read a menu with meat?
33, dung beetles and mosquitoes fall in love, dung beetles asked: What is your occupation? Mosquito: What about you, nurse? Dung beetles smiled and said, Fate, we are colleagues. I am a pill maker in a pharmaceutical factory.
Girl, are you wearing a wig? Yes, but the people in the shop told me that no one could see it. I may not have seen it, but you forgot to take the sign off your wig.
You can't hurt people who don't get a raise: you can't afford the rent, can you? We are running out of food, aren't we? You have to walk to work, don't you? Don't talk about marriage, love is not even talked about!
The oil tycoon and his wife went to Paris. In front of the Eiffel Tower, he said with emotion: When I arrived here 20 years ago, this tower was erected. Unfortunately, it has not produced oil yet.
37. Li brought her new boyfriend to her home. When she reached the door, Li said to her boyfriend, "You can kiss me now, but I must slap you because my father is looking out of the window."
38. Have you ever done anything wrong to me? It doesn't matter. Today is confession day, so I'll give you a chance to confess. Needless to say, let's do something practical, such as inviting me to dinner.
39. Mother washed clothes for her three-year-old son as soon as she got home from work: Son, mother worked hard. How can you repay her when you grow up? The son said: Mom, don't worry, I will also wash my son's clothes when I grow up.
40. I am so kind to you, why do I still like others? My boyfriend, who loves literature, replied: Who should I talk to, even if there are many kinds of amorous feelings? Are you in love with someone else on your own initiative? Answer: An almond came out of the wall.
4 1, A Dai went to buy firecrackers, and the boss said it was 1000. When he came back, he only had 500 firecrackers. A Dai thought for a moment, patted his head and said, I finally understand! When he said a thousand rings, he probably echoed them.
42. In junior high school, the school took a history test, and the topic was: What is Liu Bang's recuperation policy? A classmate answered without thinking: two points, one is to smile, ten years old; Second, marry fewer concubines and sleep more! The class laughed.
43. fruit. One day, the chief doctor said to the intern: no fruit is allowed to be brought in after the operation. Why? Just now, I accidentally put a peeled litchi in the patient's eye.
44. The reporter asked around the champion of the automobile race: Every time you take part in the race, you are the last one. You won the championship in one fell swoop. What is the secret? The driver shivered and said, I ... Me. My brakes are broken!
45. You pretend not to see the hint and discharge. I thought about you all night last night, which kept me awake all night. I want to meet you by phone, by the Woods and ponds on the roadside. I said, when will the man across the street pay me back five dollars?
46. Before the sculpture exhibition, employees accidentally knocked off JJ's statue of David, and the curator urged the female secretary to stick it on. When the exhibition caused a sensation, the curator asked: Why did it stick up? Woman's grievance: All the men I meet are like this!
47. There is a sign on the roadside to lift the speed limit by 40 kilometers. The coach asked: What is this sign? The apprentice said in a daze: No parking! The coach stared: What do you mean there is another one in it? Apprentice: 40 cars are not allowed to stop.
48. The man was beaten by his wife and hid under the table. It happened that the neighbors came to visit and felt very shameful. He immediately reacted and tactfully said to his wife: I said two people carry it, but you have to ask me to carry it alone. I can't carry it!
49. A woman asked a man: Do you know what is the strongest in the world? The man said: I don't know. The woman said: Your beard. The man asked: Why? Woman: Because you have such thick skin, you can still break it.
50. A handsome guy went to get a haircut. The barber smiled and asked, What hairstyle should I cut? Handsome guy said: What hairstyle do you have? The barber took pains to introduce it for more than ten minutes, and then asked, which one do you want? Handsome guy shrugged: I cut my hair!
5 1. What are you afraid of? Answer 1: cloth (not) is afraid of 10 thousand, paper (only) is afraid of 1000. Answer 2: cloth (not) is afraid of officials, and paper (only) is afraid of management. What is the most terrible thing in the world? Have a will. Nothing is difficult in the world, if you put your mind to it!
The teacher asked the students why they got such a low score. Student: I have acrophobia. The teacher said angrily, then go home and reflect. Student: No, I'm going to the hospital because I have a headache when I see the teacher.
53. The chief's son met a migrant worker and saw that he looked exactly like himself. He disdainfully asked, Did your mother ever work as a waitress in Diaoyutai before? Migrant workers replied: My mother has never been out of the village, and my father works as a guard for a chief.
54. When you walk into a store, a sign hanging at the door says that all the goods in the store cost one to twenty yuan. A guest looked at it and said to the clerk, please turn off the air conditioner and wrap it for me!
55. Let's tell a story that starts with KB, is funny in the middle and has a tragic ending. For example, once upon a time there was a ghost who farted and died. I met Sister Furong, fell in love with Sister Furong, and married Sister Furong.
56. The moon is bright and the stars are shining. I closed my eyes on the balcony, lost in thought. Suddenly, my face was wet, and I thought that the rain in early spring was always so hot and humid. At this moment, I suddenly heard a voice upstairs: Hey! I'm really sorry, the foot washing water is fast!
57. The deaf went to see a friend. His dog barked, but the deaf couldn't hear him. After entering the room, he said to his friend, your dog didn't sleep last night. The friend asked: How do you know? Deaf: He saw me and kept yawning.
58. I asked my daughter: Did you call your father and go home for dinner tonight? She said: An aunt answered it. My heart sank. Daughter said: Aunt said the line you dialed was busy, please redial later.
59. During the holiday, my wife strongly urged me to travel to Korea, saying: Even if I don't buy anything, take a breath of other people's air! The husband said: this is ok. The weather forecast says that the southeast wind will blow tomorrow, and the air in Korea is coming!
60. The girl and the boy met. Before long, the girl got up and left. The young man kept asking why. Girl: You look good, but your stomach is empty. Boy: Who said my stomach was empty? I had a western meal before I came to the park.
In Chinese class, the teacher asked Xiaoming to make sentences with the Great Wall. Xiaoming replied: The Great Wall is very long. The teacher is unhappy: no, create another one! Xiao Ming is even more unhappy. He turned his head: Why, I'm not Qin Shihuang! .
62. In the market, an egg seller and a coal seller got into a fight. They stopped fighting and asked, "What are you fighting?" ? The egg seller said, is there anyone like him? I called for selling eggs, and he said selling coal.
63, difficult, it is really difficult to be a man! It's too late to dig it out slowly, but it's too short to take it out, too soft to put it on your mouth, too shallow to go in, too hard to twitch and breathe, too lazy to lie still, and it will lick it after a long time, but it's really shameless to be comfortable!
64. The tortoise said to his girlfriend Rabbit: I love you for a thousand years! Grandpa rabbit stopped and said, no, it's been decades since the little turtle chased his mother to propose marriage. Rabbit: Mother Tortoise is so arrogant! Rabbit: Not pride, but dullness. They lived for ten thousand years!
65. When driving for the first time, the wife said to her husband, Everything is all right except this little mirror! Husband: Why? Wife: it's not in the right place, because I can't be seen in the mirror, only some cars are coming from behind.
66. One day, Xiao Fang was waiting for her boyfriend at the intersection. After waiting for a long time, a motorcycle stopped beside him. Xiao Fang jumped into the back seat and put on his helmet: I told you to be late! The knight suddenly said, Miss, I'm here to ask the way. Please don't hit people!
A Dai said: When I first got married, I was very happy. When I came home from work, the dog ran around barking at me, and my wife handed me slippers. Now everything has changed. When I got home, the dog brought me slippers and my wife barked at me.
68. The school has set up a band, and whoever participates will bring their own musical instruments. When my son came home, he asked his father to buy him a musical instrument. Dad thought about it, found a pair of chopsticks for his son and said that dad was short of money these two days. Take these chopsticks and be a conductor!
69. Because of a fever, matchsticks were taken to the hospital and turned into cotton swabs. Afraid of being laughed at by his partners, he deliberately dipped in mercurochrome, and a matchstick on the road said enviously: I haven't seen you for a few days, and I have become a red man!
70. A Dai's right arm is a prosthesis, and the prosthetic hand slipped at the dance. Say it quickly, partner, don't mess around! A Dai: Sorry, my hand is fake! The partner smiled: I have heard many excuses, but this is the best.
7 1. My wife went to the hospital for a physical examination. The doctor said: Everything is all right. Breathe more fresh air at ordinary times and wear warm clothes in winter. After returning home, the wife said to her husband: The doctor said that I must go to the seaside for my holiday in summer and wear a mink coat in winter.
72. Both drivers fell in love with the policewoman. A driver said: every time I cross the intersection, she turns the red light into a green light, so let me pass quickly! The other said, on the contrary, every time I passed by, she turned the green light into a red light and looked at me many times.
73. Lucky Sambo Enterprise Edition: Dad! Hey! Did you go home when the sun went down? No way! Where did you go when the stars came out? Overtime! Then why don't you pay overtime? Do your duty! Keep your job, we will be a lucky family!
74. Failed hunter: Are there any pheasants? Buy one! Butcher: Sir, the pheasant has been sold. Just buy a leg of lamb! Fresh and tender. Hunter: Do you think I can tell my wife that I shot a leg of lamb today?
A gentleman cheated. Look at the classmate in front who drew a box and a horizontal line in the answer area. So according to the copy, after the exam, Mr. Wang asked his former classmates: What is the special format of that question? The classmate replied: I wrote it wrong and deleted it!
76. A tiger caught a cold and wanted to eat a panda. Panda cries: You have a cold. Why did you eat me? The tiger said: It is said in the advertisement that if you have a cold, you should eat black for free! It's cold, don't catch a cold, pandas are protected animals!
77. In the kindergarten, a little boy was building blocks, but it was always unsuccessful. A little girl next to me said kindly, let me help you. After hearing this, the little boy turned his head contemptuously and said, go, don't worry about men's business, women's business!
Dad: Do you know why your mother married me? Son: I dare not sleep alone because I am afraid of the dark. Dad: Do you know how many years we have been married? Son: Eight years. Dad: How do you know? Son: Mom said: She has put up with you for eight years.
79. The old man asked everyone how they grew up. The headmaster said: I grew up laughing. The director said: I grew up in a small rural area. The official said, I grew up in captivity. The brigade commander said: I grew up in a tour group. The director cried and sobbed. I grew up in the toilet.
80. I have been in sales for a long time, and I want to sell things when I meet people. Sell yourself at home, guest sell children, see a single matchmaker, see a patient selling medicine, and see relatives who can't help but sell. Talking all day, annoying others and having fun.
8 1. When relatives from their hometown come to Beijing to eat in high-end restaurants, there will be a service charge of 15%. The waiter has a good service attitude, sending fruits, tremella soup and souvenirs. The relatives are very happy and ask the waiter, what else do you send? The waiter said with a big smile, "We'll see you out later."
Complete works of dialogue and conversation
Is my face oily? Reflecting light, I can't see clearly. 2. Why should I carry my schoolbag in front to protect my chest?
My son looks like you! That's bullshit！ I'm his father!
4. Xiaoshuko, Galeries Lafayette, do you have any orders to wait in bed?
What would you do if your opponent fell into the water? Piss in it.
6. What is tenderness? Tenderness is when tofu is sandwiched with chopsticks.
7, boss, have a bowl of mala Tang, not spicy, don't burn your TM to eat a bowl.
8. Is being called uncle miserable or brother miserable? Uncle, your brother is out.
9. I also want to experience the feeling of being chased! Just buy things without giving money.
10, if you don't have hands, do you still have gloves? Then why are you still wearing a bra?
1 1. I'm too thin. Well, I'm going to get fat. Give it up. If you are fat, you are not full.
12, local tyrant, let's be friends. No, all my money was saved by giving up treatment.
13, what are you doing? You are so obsessed with my idea.
Your sun is out. Speak human words. You are too dark. I won't hit you if you come here.
15, m: Is the chocolate I sent delicious? Woman: It's delicious. Boyfriend likes it very much.
16, I just played chess with my friend, and he ate me very handsome. What are you talking about? I'm so handsome.
17, there is a kind of person who doesn't like you and won't let you like others! Are you talking about the head teacher?
18 doctor, I can't see. What are the main aspects? I opened my wallet and couldn't see the money.
19, you have changed, not as simple as before. What happened? Stop it, I'm talking to my homework.
20. In my heart, you are the sun! Really? What an honor. Why do you say that? It's hard to look straight. .
2 1. Why do you always listen to songs while doing your homework? Didn't you see the background music when the protagonist did something important in the movie? !
22. People who can't control their figure will never succeed in life. No, you see, I'm fat if I want to be, and I'm fat if I want to be.
23, I hope to find a virgin voice did not fall, all female guests turned off the lights, a word was swallowed alive.
24. When I was in college, I skipped classes, failed, dumped people, got dumped, fought, remembered wrong, and broke things. I did everything I could ~ Have you ever died?
25. Let's tell a story that starts with KB, is funny in the middle and has a tragic ending. For example, once upon a time there was a ghost who farted and died. I met Sister Furong, fell in love with Sister Furong, and married Sister Furong.
Talk about the dialogue about love.
Selected dialogues about love
1. When the person who once cherished life will become a stranger, it suddenly dawns: It turns out that what once thought of eternity was actually just an accidental encounter.
2. How to refuse to get hurt while having love? Don't forget that Cupid shot an arrow, not a rose.
In fact, it doesn't matter whether it is bitter or not, but I don't want to be understood.
You and I happened to be caught in a heavy rain during adolescence, which made our eyes red, blocked our noses and pretended to be deep.
Some people, though obviously not strangers, are even stranger than strangers.
6. Not because I am persistent, but because you are worth it.
There may be no future between us, so I can only cherish the present desperately.
8. I don't want to say a lot of sadness, because I know that not everyone wants to hear it.
9. I am too humble to get the last comfort from you.
10. Always need some warmth. Even a little self-righteous commemoration. I don't want to let go, I don't want to let you go, I don't want to watch you walk out of my life.
The complete works of dialogue about love.
1. frantically looking for your last point.
2. Actually, I am not withdrawn, and I can be said to be cheerful and lively, but most of the time I am too lazy to run a relationship. Sometimes I just love freedom and feel that any relationship will bind me. Of course, the most important thing is that bosom friends are hard to find. I always feel that when interacting with most people, I can only come up with my own dimension, and it is difficult to find people who are as interested as myself.
No traces of snow, no traces of love. Snow is invisible and love is invisible. Winter has come and the snow has fallen; Love comes, love goes. After winter, snow water; Love, tears.
Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one. When we finally meet the right person, we should be grateful.
5. Gentleness is the warmth of violin silk wrapped around your fingertips.
6. You can feel happiness when you stand on tiptoe.
7. You stare at me and make my heart jump like a bird.
8. The deeper the happiness, the more silent it is.
9. You said I was your sweet burden. ⌒)
10. I have given up my youth, and I am willing to accompany you to the old age.
1 1. If you never leave, I will live and die together.
12. Happiness is the world in the eyes of lovers.
13. You hold me, I hold you and walk hand in hand.
14. You love me, I love you, one heart, two people, love is as simple as that.
15. Every step in the future, step on each other's dreams, and hold your hand tightly despite the storm ahead.
16. I love you more than you love me.
17. She cried, he made her laugh, and he smiled back.
18. I will definitely wait for her until her hair turns white ... no regrets.
19. You love me, I love you, one heart, two people, love is as simple as that.
20.○● Hand in hand, keep walking, my future needs you.
2 1. Because you are the only one, you cherish it with your life.
22.└ You are my rib, always in the position closest to my heart, guarding its beating. "
23. I am satisfied to recall that smiling face.
Beibei, spend my whole life tasting all the joys and sorrows you have given me.
25. Send you two or three love songs, even if I have nothing.
26. I am the key and you are the lock. You will never leave without my help.
27. You are sitting next to me, so at ease and so calm, which makes me think about it all my life for no reason.
28. What can live together is not necessarily the best, but it must be the most suitable.
29. Happiness is when someone loves me when you want to be loved.
30. Smile once, even in a dream.
3 1. Why do I like to keep oblique bangs? Because you said it was beautiful.
When I liked your explanation, I couldn't help laughing.
33. Happy posts, you can never close them.
34. ◆◆◆◆ What you can't refuse is falling in love with you.
35. Love is strange. It cares about everything and forgives everything in the end. As Tagore said: eyes are raining for her, but heart is holding an umbrella for her.
36. At first, you used a bunch of adjectives to define your ideal lover. When you really love someone, his name will replace those nouns and become nouns.
37. He always calls me Neil. Sometimes he calls me daughter-in-law, my wife before going to bed, my wife in the morning and my baby when I am happy.
38. Unexpectedly, the time when we had a secret crush turned out to be the topic we talked about later.
I don't know what to say, I just miss you at this moment.
40. Holding the person you like is the best feeling.
Tell a funny classic dialogue.
1, I dropped it today. The ground hurts. 2, please, you are not human, you are not human.
3. Speak out when you love someone. Come out! .
My son looks like you! That's bullshit！ I'm his father!
5. Have I gained weight again? Are you full?
6. What is tenderness? Tenderness is when tofu is sandwiched with chopsticks.
7. Shuaibi, will you like me? No, I'll teach you.
8, boss, a bowl of mala Tang, not spicy, don't burn your TM to eat a bowl.
9. Say you like me. You like me. I like you. I know.
10, hey, what song is your chest singing? I don't want to grow up.
1 1, you don't have hands. Do you have gloves? Then why are you still wearing a bra?
12, I also want to experience the feeling of being chased! You can buy things without giving money.
13, I'm too thin. Well, I'm going to get fat. Give it up. Being fat is not full.
14, there is a man I can't live without in my life? Grandpa Mao
15, local tyrant, let's be friends. No, all my money was saved by giving up treatment.
16, I'm a neat freak, so why didn't you take a shower for three months? I think the water is dirty. . .
17 What are you doing? You are so obsessed with my idea.
18, can you imitate a woodpecker? How to imitate? Is to treat my face like a tree.
19 I noticed that you stopped talking about being fat recently! Swollen
20. Your sun is out. Speak human words. You are too dark. I won't hit you if you come here.
2 1, m: Is the chocolate I sent delicious? Woman: It's delicious. Boyfriend likes it very much.
22. What is the cruelest lyric you have ever heard? String your heart, my heart.
23. I just played chess with my friend, and he ate me very handsome. What are you talking about? I'm so handsome.
24. There is a kind of person who doesn't like you and won't make you like others! Are you talking about the head teacher?
25. What's it like to love someone? There seems to be a sudden weakness and armor.
Do you know why there are four movies in Dai Xiao? Because Guo Jing's name is Xiao Si.
27. Doctor, I can't see. What are the main aspects? I opened my wallet and couldn't see the money.
28. Do you think it's ok to have an abortion three times a month? Your girlfriend? ! No. This is my bike.
What would you do if your opponent fell into the water and you happened to be able to swim? I will swim around her.
30. Zhang teaches real people to cultivate immortality and cannot marry. Where does his daughter Wisdom Fofo Agbo come from? It's simple, the Monkey King. . .
3 1, hoping to find a virgin whose voice has not fallen. All the female guests in the audience turned off the lights, and a word was eaten alive.
32, come on! Help me! I always feel that there is an invisible force gripping my throat and making it difficult for me to breathe. You're wearing your sweater backwards. Oh, thank you.
33. Who chose my wife's computer as the sofa? Who picked out my wife's curtains? Why did you choose my wife?